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Hello!! This is a safe place to ask questions and get help on your gender. Feel free to send us any pictures/questions you have. Also if you have any advice that is better than our own please share so we can get it right. :) .................................... Admins: ~Cat ~Arthur

[agendersafespace]

Is it possible to be agender but still feel a bit masculine or feminine some days?

Yes! This could be:

agenderfluid, a gender “with agender as a base with occasional feelings that one’s gender is trending towards masculine or feminine (without reaching a feeling that one is entirely male or female)”

agenderflux, “a term used to describe when you identify as agender but have fluctuations where you feel feminine or masculine but not exactly male or female”

libragender, “a gender that is mostly agender, but has a strong connection to a different gender”.

~Arthur

[agendersafespace]

Most days, I feel agender or somewhere between girl and agender, so I'm pretty sure I'm genderflux. But some days, I feel like a guy and it freaks me out because it rarely happens, but when it does, it's really intense. Is this a common experience? I'm kinda doubting my identity rn. Am I still genderflux? Genderfluid? Agenderflux?

It sounds like it’s still genderflux/agenderflux to me. Feeling intensely like a guy sometimes doesn’t invalid the other times you feel agender or like a girl or inbetween.

I don’t know if it’s a common experience (as I’m not genderflux), so I’m calling to our followers to share their experience about this!

~Arthur

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I’m sorry about this almost dead blog! We’re only two and we’re not very active. I know I wasn’t there because, well, life happens. I’d wish I could be more of help! Sorry about our long absences.

~Arthur

[agendersafespace]

I don't even think I understand the concept of gender. I'm biologically female, but I sometimes wish to have the body of a male. I really enjoy being feminine, and I think even if I identified as a boy I would want to be a feminine boy if that makes sense. I feel like both but neither all at once and I'm really confused by it. Sometimes I think I might be agender, but that doesn't totally fit either. Is gender what you look like? What you feel like? Either way I'm confused and lost. Any advice?

Lots of people make a great distinction between presentation (what you looke like) and gender (what you feel like). At least, that’s what people describe gender as. If I’m agender that’s mostly because I can’t pinpoint what gender is, so I qualify myself as genderless.

But I’ll tell you: you don’t have to choose a label for yourself. If it helps you, then I’ll gladly redirect you towards websites with terms like mogai-lexicon to help you find a word to put on your feeling that might be a gender. I can’t tell you what it is, and you don’t have to find right away. You’re allowed to change words, you’re allowed to look inside of you and feel this feeling change with time, or your interpretation of it differ at different periods of your life. It’s all ok, it’s all you. And if you don’t find anything to label it, it’s also ok.

~Arthur

[agendersafespace]

Is it possible to be an agender lesbian?

You can call yourself a lesbian if you’re at least partially a woman, who love other women. If you aren’t partially a woman, you cannot use the word lesbian for yourself.

I suppose you can still call yourself agender, but there’s some other words that convey more that you’re partially a woman, such as agenderflux (agender with fluctuations towards other genders), agenderfluid (base agender with fluidity with other genders), or libragender (mostly agender but having a strong connection to another gender), 

~Arthur

[agendersafespace]

Help? I don't know how to feel about my gender... It's such a small part of me, I don't even know it's there or not. I periodically ask myself 'what is my gender' but I get less and less response to it overtime. (Part 1/2)

I don't know if I feel gendered anymore. On the 5 last times I asked myself my gender it was "____ ... I think.". Never a concrete answer. Can one "turn" Agender? I am female presenting but it doesn't make the least difference for me. (Part 2/2)

If you don’t feel like you have any gender right now, you can call yourself agender. It doesn’t matter what gender you identified with before, or what gender you might identify with later. If agender is what you feel the most right now, in the present, then you are, you’re valid.

~Arthur

[agendersafespace]

Hi, so I'm AFAB and I'd really like top surgery - because I'd love to just throw on a pair of trunks to go to the pool and stuff - and I'd also like my uterus removed, because every time I get my period it's a bit like my body's laughing at me, like "haha you're a girl! There's nothing you can do to stop it!" But I'm worried that if I ask for these procedures people will think I'm maybe a transguy. What's your take on this? Is this ok to do as an agender person?

It’s totally ok for you to do this, as an agender person. It might be difficult to access though, depending on what country you live in. I’ve heard some people pretending to be trans guys to be able to access it, and that’s ok. It’s just a trick to be able to access surgeries because non-binary identities aren’t recognised. You don’t have to feel guilty if you do that. You deserve access to these surgeries, no matter what your gender is.

~Arthur

[agendersafespace]

Is it possible to be agender but still feel top dysphoria? I'm a dfab and identify as agender/nonbinary and for the first time, I felt really dysphoric about my boobs, usually I don't mind them but lately it's been bothering me occasionally..

It is totally normal maybe try a binder or workout bra to make your chest flatter. ~Cat

[agendersafespace]

I'm afab, and sometimes I have this sense(?) of femaleness, but there are also times when I noticeably don't have that sense, or any at all. Sometimes I'm really happy with my feminine body and I rock dresses and wish my hair were longer, but then sometimes I wish my breasts would just disappear so I could be flat chested, and then I'm never comfortable in my dresses, and I have a desire to cut my hair again. I know that sounds like genderfluid, but I don't ever really feel a change? Help!

You could be agenderflux which is when you are agender but it fades in and out. Sometimes it feels very strong other times you feel like a different gender. ~Cat

[agendersafespace]

I've always felt more masculine than feminine, but I'm not completely uncomfortable with my body and the pronouns people use for me. (Then again, I can't think of a pronoun that would bother me). But lately I've felt, for example, more comfortable having a shirt on when I swim and I would NEVER wear a dress. And I've always thought of myself as just a tomboy, but lately, I've been thinking maybe it's more than that. And I Don't FULLY identify as not a girl.

Well first know that the way you present has nothing to do with how you feel on the inside. If you look into yourself past the way you present yourself if you don't feel fully female you might be demigirl. Which means that you don't feel fully like a girl but mostly. ~Cat

[agendersafespace]

im agender. i wanna change my name to something more gender neutral since my name is very feminine & i feel uncomfortable w/ it. but if i did change my name i dont think anyone i know would bother calling me it or take me seriously. idk what to do

You should do what makes you feel comfortable. And if that's changing your name then do it. Don't let others dictate your life. If they don't respect the change than are they really your friends? Most people have trouble with the name change at first so just keep reminding them then maybe they will learn it. If they refuse then explain what it means to you. If they are true friends they will understand. But it will take time. ~Cat

[agendersafespace]

I've been having some gender issues. I'm dfab, and I'm perfectly fine with my body, but mentally/socially I'm not sure what I am. I don't feel female?? But I'm not sure agender is exactly right either. The best way to explain it is just, I feel like me. Similar to a girl but not exactly?? like how a wolf and a dog are similar but not the same. I'm not sure which promouns to use either. Am I agender? female?

There is a gender called demigirl which means you feel partially a girl but not fully. Or you could be bigender (half female half agender). You could also look into agenderflux which is you feel agender but sometimes it fluctuates in and out. Hope that helps. ~Cat

[agendersafespace]

I have small breast that i can be o.k. with shirtless, but then out i wish i had a flat chest i guess? Idk, neither sound right to me. Im agender because no body fits? I dont hate mine i just dont feel fully at home with it. Is this normal?

It is normal to be confused. What i would suggest is try a binder but then keep other feminine features like long hair or clothes maybe even out that feeling you have. Or you could wear some baggy shirts. Otherwise surgery might be what you need but i would only do that if you seriously hate your cheat otherwise i shouldn't recommend it. ~Cat

[agendersafespace]

How do I make myself look agender or at least androgynous enough so people have to ask me what am and can't assume anything? I'm afab if that helps and I also have short hair

Well first telling people that you are agender will help but i know that people don't like to listen. So maybe wear more baggy clothes or a binder. You could also take hormones. But just know you don't need to prove anything to anyone if you don't "look" neutral it doesn't matter what does matter is how you feel. ~Cat

[agendersafespace]

2 spots open for mod!

Send your e-mail to that blog & I’ll add you if you wanna help us out!

[agendersafespace]

Hey, I really need help. I have no idea who I am. I was born male and I don't feel male, but I don't feel feminine, but I don't feel l'm agender. Or maybe I do, I don't know. Mostly I just hate myself. I don't want to look like a 'dude' or a 'chick' and I am really confused. Some days are worse than others, but I never feel comfortable as me. If you have any advice I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you.

Hey, it’s ok if you’re confused. If you need to rant and get into more details so we can give you better advice, you’re at the right place. You can either stay on anon, or if you put an * at the beginning of your ask and off-anon, we can reply to you privately.

Onto some advices: You could try presenting in a more androgynous way. Try finding out what you specifically love and hate about yourself, it’ll be a step in understand yourself. What are the things that you think would make you feel better?

You can either use that for your own introspection or come back to us to talk more. We’re here, we’ll help at the best as we can.

~Arthur

[agendersafespace]

2 spots open for mod!

Send your e-mail to that blog & I’ll add you if you wanna help us out!