that girl is a god damn problem

I just don't really come here anymore.

[geekandmisandry]

Teachers should let kids eat and drink in class, I have no idea why high school teachers act like tiny dictators of their pathetic kingdoms. Like, let them go to the bathroom, if they are hungry let them eat, if they are thirsty let them drink.

It shouldn’t really be so difficult.

[geekandmisandry]

Anyway, children are people, so maybe stop adding onto this post trying to justify why it is ok to treat them and train like animals in a 1920’s zoo.

[agent--natasha]

this is GOSPEL TRUTH

being a teacher I need to say:

1. I’d love if I could let kids leave whenever without getting screamed at by my principal

2. I’d love if kids could respect the fact that I let them eat and drink in my classroom by cleaning up when they spill mandarin oranges all over a desk. I would also love not finding half eaten cheese sticks shoved in the storage ottoman and rotten apples in the corner of my fucking classroom and Hot Cheeto dust smeared on the couches in the reading corner. It’s usually a few assholes who ruin it for everyone. I still let them do it because I’m fucking nice but you know. I wish they could just be a little thankful?

[wikketkrikket]

So you know this scene...

I always found it a bit odd. Hilarious, but it raised too many questions. When did Steve make these? Why did Steve make these? How did he manage to be so cheesy and overly sincere knowing how much crap he would get from the other Avengers for it?

Well, today my sister told me her headcanon. Picture the scene. Steve leans on the back of a chair, as above. Peter immediately launches into ‘So, you got detention…’. Cap blinks. Peter awkwardly tries to explain. It turns out Cap has no idea what videos he means, and neither do any of the other Avengers.

So they get in touch with the company who made them, and they swear blind that it was really the real Captain America, and that it all his idea. That he came in and said how much he wanted to help the youth of today.And the Avengers all lose it because someone is running around doing an unbelievably good impression of Captain America, they could have destroyed his reputation, they could have infiltrated the Avengers; and instead all they are apparently using it for is to make silly, embarrassing videos.

It’s completely baffling. Who could possibly be behind it all?

A mystery.

[woncheolisms]

Headcanon 100% accepted

[agent--natasha]

@capjustbeinglokilicious

[trekbedtimestories]

A compilation of the best headlines thus far…

[trekbedtimestories]

[trekbedtimestories]

[trekbedtimestories]

[trekbedtimestories]

[trekbedtimestories]

[ginormouspotato]

it’s been nearly a decade but we are finally blessed to see his dick RISE ONTD STAR TREK RISE

[agent--natasha]

@ my ontd_st bbs Y’ALL BETTER REMEMBER THIS

ALSO HERE IS A BLAST FROM PARTY POST PAST i can’t believe how easy this was to find on google lol

[trainstationgoodbye]

Anne Hathaway in Ocean’s 8 (2018) Dir. Gary Ross

[somanypetals]

someone who works at our local opshop/thrift shop just put goldblums in every single photo frame in the store

[agent--natasha]

@theawkwardfelines you are the sort of agent of chaos who would do this tbh

[mysharona1987]

[n-barnes]

Sexy Seabass

[xenosagaepisodeone]

having a permanent full time job is you thinking to yourself “so this is really the rest of my life huh” as you come home every single day before using your 4 hours of recreational activity to do nothing and then going to bed

[josieandthepussycatsofficial]

[orion-rising]

Always be vague. Say I think they’re in today or not until later. If they press say it’s company policy not to give out the schedule. Most companies do have this and even if they don’t how would a stranger know. Don’t give out specifics, they can get people injured or even killed.

At my last job someone came up and asked when “Sarah” was working next. I didn’t tell him and then texted her a description, turns out he was an abusive ex who had been stalking her. Don’t do this shit please.

[geneticcardio]

Do NOT say anything along the lines of “they’re not in today” or “not until later” because you are confirming that this is somewhere the person in question can be found. NEVER confirm anything!

[purple-bandanaman]

My old boss told us a story of how, years before when she was a fairly new manager (I’m talking decades, she’s 64 right now), there was a man who came in and asked for an employee by name and said he was her uncle. She told him the employee’s shift started in a coule hours. He waited the entire time for her, and when she came in, he assaulted her and bashed her face into the counter. My boss saw everything. She can’t recall what he said, but he kept screaming until someone threatened to call the police.

She told me that story after a man came in and asked for when an employee, who recently quit, would be coming in. I told him she doesn’t work here anymore and he said to me “Okay, well I’m her dad so if you see her tell her I’ll be across the street at the gas station.” He left and my boss IMMEDIATELY came out and scolded me for it, then told me that story.

She gave me some advice on what to say or do in that situation:

Don’t just deny knowing anything, deny the person asking. Example, “When is ____ coming in?” “You can’t know that information.” or “Can you tell me when ____’s shift is?” “Schedules are only for employees.” Additionally, saying “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” can usually work, it may piss them off but it can work.

Continue on with the customer service. “I can’t help you with that, do you need help (with clothes, finding a product, ordering)?” or “Can I take your order?/Can I help you find (a product)?”

If they persist, insist they leave the store. “If you’re not going to order, please leave the building.” or “I can’t help you, have a nice day.” and, if you can, leave. If you can’t leave, call for or help the next customer.

If they still persist (by now they may be aggressive), threaten to call the police on the basis of them becoming aggressive and refusing to leave the premises. Some people will leave at that point, others stay. When the police get there, explain the situation but still do NOT confirm the existence of the employee they’re looking for to the police until they have been escorted out of the area.

Regardless of if the customer know the employee’s name, description, or daily (not hourly) schedule, even if they look like the same race and claim to be family, you NEVER confirm the employee’s existence.

The only exceptions are if the employee tells you themself they’re expecting someone to come in for them (ASK FOR A DESCRIPTION OF THE PERSON), and if you personally know who they are in relation to the employee. When anyone I know has to come in because I asked them to come in, I describe what they look like and what they usually wear. I go into deep descriptions, even including how they walk.

You could literally save a life, guys. Don’t blindly trust your gut either and think “But they LOOK innocent” or “But they said ______” because that can result in someone getting severely hurt, or killed.

[thorinobsessed]

this is important, people

[agent--natasha]

My go-to was “sorry, I just started working here, I don’t know everyone, I haven’t heard of that person.”

[hadleyfrasersource]

[agent--natasha]

@jinimitable it's a production of Coriolanus

[how-late-am-i]

have you guys ever noticed how pretty the bi flag is???

Like, look at it

It looks like a sunset

just

#the sky is bi confirmed

[agent--natasha]

Tbh can we campaign to change it to a gradient to recognize bisexual people can be attracted to more than just two binary genders though? Bisexuality= attraction to same & different genders

[thorthedorkworld]

The kingsman fight but Mamma Mia sung by Meryl Streep is playing

[taliabobalia]

i don’t know how but this just made me 10% gayer

[agent--natasha]

@theawkwardfelines pretend it’s william karlsson singing and then it becomes relevant to all of your interests 😂

[agent--natasha]

Cover Story: Michelle Williams on Her Private Wedding and Public Fight for Equal Pay

Michelle Williams has long shunned the spotlight. Now, thrust into the battle over Hollywood’s gender pay gap—and with a superhero movie on the way and new husband by her side—she’s ready for her next chapter, both professional and personal.

[scarlettohairdye]

What true love looks like.

OKAY SO I had a coworker who was otherwise a standard clueless Straight White Guy, but this dude loved his wife and he knew her real good. And his wife LOVES shitty grocery store icing. So the first thing she’d always do with any cake is shove her fingers into the corner and scoop off whatever abomination of a flower was on there and eat it off her fingers. SO THIS DUDE GOES TO THE STORE AND HAS THEM MAKE A WHOLE CAKE OUT OF FROSTING Brings it home to his wife for her birthday She shoves her fingers into it and then they just keep going FROSTING ALL THE WAY DOWN He said the look on her face was the best thing he’d ever seen in his life It gives me hope that even a clueless Straight White Guy knew and loved his wife enough to give her the perfect birthday present cake frosting abomination

And I love to imagine the conversation he had to have with the grocery store bakery.

[ofgeography]

“the thing you have to understand is that, helen aside, things were already kind of like, brewing,” homer says.

{book one}

“the thing you have to understand is that, helen aside, things were kind of like, brewing,” homer says. to be fair, up until this point he really could not have given less of a shit about greek life politics. he’d rushed alpha sig because he wanted to lose his virginity, make friends, drink a lot of beer, and because lowkey he wanted to be like capi from ABC’s greek. he loved that guy. that guy was the shit.

anyway, the point is, now that homer’s really giving it some thought, yeah: the thing between troy and alpha sig had been building for a while, long before homer got anywhere near campus. helen was kind of just like, the final straw.

“the trojans aren’t even greek, is the thing,” he explains. “like, they used to be, um … i dunno, some national chapter, i forget because who cares. but they got kicked off campus and then just renamed themselves after the street their new house was on. priam’s nice but he’s not exactly creative.”

“why did they get kicked off campus?”

“well, a deer got drunk at one of their parties, and then the deer got hit by a car, and then there were all these protests by the vegan club.”

“why did they get a deer drunk?”

“is this on the record?”

“son, you’re at a police station. everything is on the record.”

homer hesitates. he’s pretty sure they’re past the statute of limitations on getting animals drunk, and also he doesn’t think that’s technically illegal, just a real dick move.

“well … they didn’t,” he admits. “but – okay. look, don’t tell anyone i told you, but the real truth is aggy did it.”

“aggy got them kicked off campus?”

“no, aggy got the deer drunk. it was on trojan property, though. and – this is extremely on the DL, i’m very serious about this, boys – it wasn’t the vegans who protested. or i mean, it was the vegans, but how did the vegans find out, you know what i’m saying?”

there’s a thoughtful hum. homer isn’t sure if it’s coming from Ray Ban or Donut Mouth, but he thinks it might be Donut Mouth because he smells a hint of bear claw on the exhale.

“so how did they find out?” Ray Ban asks. his words are a little squished, like he’s resting his chin on one of his hands.

“roy,” Donut Mouth mutters. “c’mon, this isn’t relevant.”

“so?” Ray Ban answers, unapologetic. “it’s fucking interesting. you so desperate to go write up your reports that you wanna get out of here? you itching to sit in the bullpen listening to frank powerwash the floors for the next four hours?”

homer grins. he holds his hand out for a high-five. “my main man ray ban,” he says. Ray Ban takes the five.

“it’s roy, actually,” he says.

“rick and roy, that’s cute, actually,” homer answers. “i’m still gonna call you ray ban, though. it’s like, your vibe. rick, sorry man, but you’ve been donut mouth to me this whole time and i just don’t think that’s gonna change for you.”

“for god’s sake,” Donut Mouth says, “can we please focus?”

homer, nodding, feels around the table until he finds the corner of what he’s pretty sure is the donut box. he raises his eyebrows in question and is gratified to hear Donut Mouth sigh before nudging the box forward so he can get his hand in. he grabs whatever is closest – no such thing as a bad donut, after all – and says, mouth full of strawberry glaze, “okay, so, someone told the muses and the muses told me that it was emi hunter, olly hunter’s twin sister. she’s not a vegan herself but is BIG into like, animal husbandry. their whole family have been butchers since like, the 1600s or some shit. i heard she only eats meat she’s killed herself, which is super hot and very scary.”

he waits, but neither Ray Ban nor Donut Mouth have anything to say about emi hunter. “… anyway, she found out that someone at this party had gotten the deer drunk and that the deer had gotten hit by a car and died, and also nobody even used the venison, and she sicced the vegans on them.”

“why didn’t she report them herself?”

“well,” says homer.

READ BOOK TWO

[yunghos]

[art-of-eons]