Beats a hard kick to the face.

Numerically an adult. She/her. Sometimes I shout about how everyone is killing their fish.

[korunak]

christ in the wilderness, ivan kramskoy

[thatbitchsimone]

he looks like he needs a cigarette

[refuzz]

[hunter-rodrigez]

[nicomrade]

[doublism]

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

[wizardarchetypes]

when I was a kid I had an old tv in my room that would always turn to unwatchable static in the middle of shows but one night my sister and I were watching Naruto & every time Kakashi was on-screen the static cleared so we were like “hahaha the tv looooves Kakashi.”

I had a Kakashi bookmark so we held it up against the screen as a joke but the static actually cleared up. Mystified, we tried different bookmarks and objects with the same plastic material but nothing else worked, only the Kakashi bookmark.

We ended up taping it to the corner of the screen and it stayed there for 11 years until we moved out. When I was older people would be like “can you move the bookmark off the screen” bc it did sort of block a bit of the view but I would demonstrate the static issue and everyone was always just like “huh. what the hell?? well…alright.”

No explanation, but thanks Kakashi.

[scarletjedi]

I had a similar tv! It was a tv with a built in dvd and vcr because it was in college and I’m apparently old now. But! The dvd player never wanted to play- unless it was Chicago (2002). First, we would put that dvd in, let it start, and then swap it for the movie we really wanted to watch. It got to the point where we would put in the dvd we wanted and sing “he had it coming!!!” At the screen at volume. Fucking worked *every time*

Bizarre.

[inkcurlsandknives]

I miss when technology had real personality, instead of fake ones designed to generate lies and nonsense and spy on you.

[cryptotheism]

Attributes of a guy I saw in Los Angeles today:

- riding a bike

- shirtless

- late 40s

- massive back tattoo of the virgin mary

- full sleeves with icons of the saints

- wearing a dinner plate sized brass amulet

- amulet had a fist-sized green jewel

- ski goggles

[reagan-slayer69]

“but what if you abort the baby who’ll cure cancer?!” sir the baby who will cure cancer is an organic chemistry major who works at a Home Depot because you use AI to go through your resumes

[mel-155-a]

"I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops." - Stephen Jay Gould, The Panda's Thumb: More Reflections in Natural History

[depsidase]

[trapny]

This is more inspirational than I think it was originally intended to be

[onmywayoutokay-deactivated20240]

this is what i mean when i say "sniles so sneetly" btw

[onmywayoutokay-deactivated20240]

i appear to have infected 14k people with the phrase "sniling so sneetly". it makes me grin. snile, even. perhaps sneetly

[npdclaraoswald]

A doll youtuber I watch has made a video about the history of Polly Pocket, and she's describing the plots of the dvd specials, one of which features an elderly woman named Ms. Throckmorton, and my reaction was

[redstonedust]

forgotten middle child syndrome the number 68 stuck between her funny number siblings 67 and 69. is this anything.

[plain-flavoured-english]

As a Greek, in response to the current controversy about Matt Damon being cast as Odysseus, I'd just like to share that one of the moments that changed my brain chemistry as a kid was reading a novelized version of the Odyssey and coming across the following description of Odysseus when Circe sees him for the first time and thinks he's hot: "his hair curled like a clematis and his eyes were very brown".

So may I present my own casting choice for Odysseus:

[plain-flavoured-english]

Excuse me???

[ruffboi-mags]

you are right and you should say it.

[instantduckninja]

Is this the face of a man who would put his own infant in front of a plow to avoid going to war?

Absolutely not

You know who would try that shit?

Is this the face of a man who would defy the very gods to get home to his wife?

You know who would defy the gods just to show he could get away with it?

[fluffmugger]

The last thing Penelope's suitors ever see:

[bannertanks]

[virtualgirladvance]

fuck genetics i deserve g cups

[virtualgirladvance]

reblog to give me bigger tits

[grinly]

Guys stop! They have already crushed a small dairy farm - if this hits 1k Nebraska is so doomed.

[virtualgirladvance]

give me three reasons why i should give a damn about nebraska over a killer rack?

[virtualgirladvance]

girl i hate me, she aint special

[at-the-end-of-all]

has anyone done this yet idk?

[drtanner]

[rslashrats]

[bemusedlybespectacled]

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[dogsrulepeopledrool]

Source

[cryoverkiltmilk]

#the ancient texts

... My reblog was only six years ago!

[lizlemondyke]

it’s funny cuz it’s true

[aurelia-which-means-sunrise]

[ID/ Post by @/bobo_circus

the concept of character actors is so funny like. Hollywood had to come up with a term to differentiate hot people and people who are good at acting /end ID]

[boiledegghole]

americans love doxxing their home states more than anything. we hear the name of our home state and everything goes black and we wake up 10 minutes later, having reblogged no fewer than 8 posts featuring the name of our home state

[princessbonecrimes]

h/t to emilyscartoons