A Crash Course with No Brakes

[warcrimesimulator]

[again-please]

kitten i'll be honest daddy isn't sure he's cut out for full time employment

[segamascott]

[fluffysheeple]

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from

[teathattast]

[dogpuppy]

[sandmandaddy69]

[prairiedeath]

[the-quasar-hero]

You can tell a lot about a person by entering their mind palace and encountering their greatest fears and darkest hopes in a labyrinth reflective of their subconscious thoughts.

[dogpuppy]

[fairycosmos]

can’t talk right now. im partaking in the social ritual of correct micro facial expressions

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis]

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

[systlin]

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

[systlin]

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

[deadpowol]

[naamahdarling]

I love the implication that, as Larry is an "unpaid trainee", the dog is paid.

[kisxmesoft]

[stupidestasshole]

*opening a box of fireworks* i'm about to teach your ugly dog the true meaning of christmas

[segamascott]

[aflo]

on may 14th 1839, let's all go to McDonald's and order the amnesia: the dark descent burger

[aflo]

the look on the worker's face will be a rictus of anguish