[3dslover]

my NEWER and COOLER blog.......nice...........

[agentpinebutoldandirrelevant]

YO! new main because i wanna clean this shit up

[drinksome-juice-deactivated2023]

Doodle dump doodle dump, mostly hlvrai featuring @bigbadwolverine @frog-scum @gay-spider

[otherorr]

the little @y2kvr science team bots are a GIFT to artists everywhere

[asthecrowrambles]

the gang breaks bubby out of prison asmr

(reblogs very much appreciated!)

[polyhedr0n]

yeah. i know.

[goosterbold]

been seeing some darnold/gordon posts on the dash and they are Very compelling

[infamouslydorky]

RIP gman

[freerfman]

just a silly lil doodle for test tube tuesday :]

[the-meme-monarch]

doodles from in between working on the animatic so far!! ft That Bit w forzen. he isn’t a toon, he’s a human, but he knows more about toons than he probably should

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[skrillcholas-cage]

oh my god these are great

[princemetalthunder]

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

[cheese-greater-official]

So what I’m getting from this is that attorneys are fucking morons

[a-bisexual-teenager]

What I’m getting from this is that tv lied to me and if I’m ever in a courtroom I absolutely can be my most sarcastic self

[zombiebabezzz]

Tfw you're on divorce #1 and your new lab partners a rude twink

[zombiebabezzz]

Peepaw love momence

[habsforever]

[myfangirlisraeging]

To add to this:

[hockeylvr42]

I’m so glad the NHL has embraced the bubble

[hockeylvr42]

THE TRILOGY

[oceanflowerrs]

i hate that one of the half life alyx screenshots has a zombine in it because that means alyx made that joke to herself and was waiting 10 fucking years to make it infront of someone

[depressedcowboyatadollartree]

she knew the world wasn’t ready

[grimelords]

[plz-clap-deactivated20241021]

The mocking is a nice touch

[chrissongzzz]

ohh wow

[orpheusilver]

what the fuck

[thebroccoligoblin]

HEY THAT WAS A WILD 6.5 seconds

[claire-voyancy-deactivated20201]

*walks into this like a roadrunner cartoon*

[totallyfubar]

Hot dog water is the exact opposite of holy water in that you can add a single drop of it to any amount of pure water and it will make the entire thing unpure

[wumblr]

now THIS is the kind of philosophical liturgy i come to tumblr for. FINALLY i can defeat the pope

[malus-syl-vestris-deactivated20]

If u add a single drop of hot dog water and a single drop of holy water do they cancel each other out?

[therainbowgorilla]

Good question. My guess is you'd be struck down on the spot for hubris and blasphemy.

[malus-syl-vestris-deactivated20]

Ideal