Agloe

Nini, 25, (she/her) I like to read. I don't have a particular genre I like or even a form for that matter. I'll read just about anything from novels and short stories, to webcomics. You can ask me for webcomic and graphic novel recommendations, I know a ton of good ones. Obsessed with Zombies and Rice.

[littlebirdofprey]

all I do is listen to music and think about my silly little fictional people

[agloe20]

The amount of fictional people who live in my head information I constantly hold is staggering and my ability to comprehensibly keep this imaginary world alive in my brain astounds me because I generally have the memory of a soaked potato.

[agloe20]

If you want another chance in someone's life, would you allow yourself to pursue them?

If they were happier or committed to someone else, heck no. If they were single, fuck yes. I'd start with talking to them and getting to know if they are the same person I wanted a chance with in the first place. Feelings change and people grow - you know that Mikey McCleary song?

[agloe20]

What r u upto these days?

Honestly just trying to follow my whimsy to the ends of my ability and trying to keep my room clean.

[agloe20]

Hya, are you here and do you like sushi?

Yepp, I will never leave this site. They will have to physically remove Tumblr from my soul with a cleaver.

I love Sushi! I like Nigiri - simple rice and fish :)

[agloe20]

If I stop to think it gets weird

If I stop to think, it gets a little weird?

Don't get me wrong, life is pretty much okay and I'm not complaining about anything except the unbearable amount of sunlight penetrating all the way to the concrete ground I must walk on to get anywhere and everywhere.

But just now when I opened Tumblr, I thought man, I'm not okay.

I am so tired. I got shitfaced yesterday. Five G&Ts. They were great and for a while it was great to feel great but I wasn't drinking with people I like so I just felt a little out of place and uncomfortable at the back of my mind.

Then today was fully end-to-end hijacked by my family and tomorrow I have a date and I feel like Bihter at the end of Ask-i-Memnu asking Behlul, Beni? Beni? Beni? What about me? What about Bihter? What about me?

What about me?

What about me, really?

Are there other people out there as well who want to be around their loved ones but also not be around them? I mean - around them but in a way that feels like a choice to me. I am so tired. I have an overdue library book I have to return 15 kilometres away. I have a short graphic novel I haven't been able to finish for months. It keeps moving between my bed and my desk. I'm not able to take a driving lesson or go to the fucking gym.

What about me, Behlul? (I am completely cognizant of the ocean of difference in the context where Bihter asks that and how I am asking it but the core value is the same. We can live for others but only if we have a bare minimum happiness to nourish us at the end of the cycle of giving.)

Beni?

Beni - Beni?

[agloe20]

Look who is back!

Hello! I feel this slight dread at the thought of work because there are so many elements to it that I don't even understand in the slightest. I want to do work I can understand. Is that unreasonable?

Moreover, I don't have a current crush. I want one. I want to pine for someone. I want to be into someone. I'd also like someone non-problematic to be into me. But the whole ordeal of finding someone sounds like suffering. I don't like it. I feel safe solely with my brain. Not with anyone else's. I don't want to share myself. How does a person built this way find love? Makes no sense to me. The only thing that makes sense is to stay perennially single. But that is quite limiting. There'd be a plethora of experiences I'd be giving up on whereas I could easily take some time out and experience being alone even when I am with someone. It feels like being dealt the short end of the stick.

Okay, that is it for now. More in the future, I guess!

[agloe20]

Don't know what to do

Hey! I don't know what to do. I don't know how to live my life.

The laptop's fan needs a bit of a clearing up.

There are these ideas that I have but then there is this set structure of each day in my head and I don't mean a set structure as in something akin to a daily routine where you wake up and brush your teeth and have breakfast. I mean that there is a set structure of each day in a sense that I can never reach "One day" where I'm doing the things I've always wanted to do. Where my life looks completely different because all the small choices I've made differently from what I was expected to make have led to a life that is unrecognizable to my fears about adulthood.

I talk in hypothetical and never really in particulars. I know. But that is because everything I encounter is never about that thing in particular. Why I get so mad at people staring at me or why I feel like change is impossible or why I dislike people who move my stuff without asking me - none of these are simple answers. The answer to each question that pertains to me is all of me. I am a stack of cards - not a house because there isn't any coherent structure to me, but I am a stack of cards and the 6th card is the 6th because it is not the 36th. I am a circle and all the points in a circle are making me up and if you pointed at one then I'd be a point and I have no points to make because I'm a circle.

Wow. I'm making a lot of sense to me right now but I don't really know what to do with it.

I want to live each day consciously, active, and exploring. That is what I want to do with my life on a day to day basis.

But I can't be active because other people's decisions (read: family's) decisions impact my life. So, I can be conscious and I can explore? Apparently not. It is a triangle with the horizontal side being autonomy.

But is autonomy a valid expectation? Is it justified for me to expect autonomy?

How much autonomy is justified?

How long will I live?

What is stopping me from living how I want to? Why am I reluctant to live how I want to? Will I ever become the person who breaks away to be themselves? Is it justified for me to be myself? Aren't I dependent in more ways than one on others? Wouldn't it be cruel to take away the support I offer others because it inconveniences me?

What should I do?

What should I do?

What will I do?

[charl0ttan]

does anyone know why youtube videos from 2020 have had that 5y on them lately

[charl0ttan]

ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh🫶 fuck👍

[recny]

dreamstat + appearing whenever louis gets the ick

[agloe20]

Apart from Lestat's hair, this was my favourite thing about Season 2.

[samd1o1]

My experience with queer media lately:

[agloe20]

I love that we've all agreed Queer is where Hannibal canonically belongs :P

[loopnoid]

claudeleine thru the eras

[agloe20]

thank you, this is beautiful!

[turnipoddity]

pressed up against your longing

[agloe20]

uwu

[alltears]

all-timer daniel molloy questions:

1. did you eat the baby?

2. are you schizophrenic, louis?

3. and then what?

4. fuck, man, are you the zodiac killer?

5. YOU BOTH FUCKED LESTAT?

[jeyneofpoole]

crazy face to make at one half of the couple you’re impromptu divorce lawyering for after you’ve just exposed seventy years worth of his lies including but not limited to aiding abetting and directing the death of two beautiful lesbians one of which was sort of his stepdaughter also btw this couple is comprised of nuclear warheads in the shape of beautiful men and you sort of had a thing with both of them that one time in the seventies when you thought you were going to get high and your dick sucked but instead got saw-trapped by a renegade botticelli angel with all mental illnesses in the dsm-5 and a couple others we haven’t categorized yet. daniel molloy you will live forever

[agloe20]

what a beautiful day to be able to read words in english

[fuzziiwuzzii]

THEY’RE SO CUTE IM SICK HAPPY PRIDE CLAUDELEINE!!!🏳️‍🌈

[agloe20]

Gonna pretend they are alive by reading fanfic.

[bisexualvampires]

he has a 100% divorce rate btw

[agloe20]

I love Daniel Molloy.

[agloe20]

Life updated.

I cannot remember what I was calling them, but let's say that Avocado and her boyfriend (my friend) have broken up for very real this time and her boyfriend (my friend) has changed beyond recognition. I don't understand what to do and it makes me feel like I was stupid for having trusted someone like that.

Also, man did my feelings for Art change ridiculously when I spent some time with her. Can you please shoot me before I romanticise someone one more time? It is honestly embarassing.

Snail's love makes me feel warm but also it is scary.