Attempted maker of good art

23. Director. Occasional retail drone. Feminist. Brisbanite. Not an adult, but a husband.

[berternies]

I’m so sorry

[demcter]

this is the best and only version of this meme, the other ones no longer exist

[greyhorsephoto]

[unclefather]

I have been fooled

[birch-the-fish-crow]

I like how the horses ears are now in an ‘anger’ position.

[it-begins-with-rain]

The greatest video since “The History of Japan”

[queenofperv]

#this goes through so many stages of sounding like#the speaker has#anything from#an italian accent to a spanish accent to a german accent to a swedish accent to an icelandic accent xD#to my ears at least#aka how english would sound if it made sense like the rest of us#english can’t even blame it on ‘having a lot of vowel sounds’ cause swedish has a similar amount (or arguably more)#the difference is that swedish has a proper system and Rules#for when the letter becomes a different sound#in swedish how it’s written is what you get it’s straight forward#english is just put together with duct tape and a prayer (via @erasedcitizen2)

[jonphaedrus]

@patrexes

[selenityshiroi]

This sounds like a Welsh person taking the piss out of English for being stupid.

They would be justified.

[bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190]

what does “men who adhere to strict gender binary” even mean tho

NO ONE adheres to the gender binary! NO ONE FITS THEIR GENDER ROLE PERFECTLY! THAT’S THE POINT! AARRRGGH! 

[drethelin]

NOOOOO OOOOONE…. ADHERES TO THE GENDER BINARY LIKE GASTON!

Originally posted by clarabellecow

[shitifindon]

when I try to hear this in my head my mental voice is incapable of pronouncing it fast enough to fit the timing of the line “noooo oooone… adjksjfksfjslenry like Gaston!”

and when I try to fit it to one of the longer such lines, my mental voice becomes too confused about conflicting scansion to continue

[featurelessorb]

no one’s droll like gaston no one’s swole like gaston no one fits his assigned gender role like gaston

[thehypnobunny]

I’m especially fond of the paaaatriaaarchy My what a guy that gastooon

[lauramkaye]

Bless you for making it scan

[kazoomusic]

NOW I CAN’T READ IT WITHOUT SINGING IN MY HEAD

[kazoomusic]

No one’s droll like Gaston, No one’s swole like Gaston, No one fits his assigned gender role like Gaston! For there’s no one online half as phony, His tinder’s got dick pics to spare, You can ask any neckbeard or brony They’ll show you (no homo) whose trilby they’d wear! No one drawls like Gaston Or catcalls like Gaston, Or manspreads on the train in a sprawl like Gaston! I’m especially fond of the paaaatriaaarchy! My what a guy that Gastooon!

…I’m not sorry.

[callmebliss]

never be sorry for this, it is glorious

[garrettauthor]

Oh shit tumblr has a new best post how come no one told me.

[zfedraws]

THIS IS SO RUSHED BUT PLS CONSIDER 

au where everythings the same except luffy has snapchat

[readingfrog]

#luffy doesnt know how to turn location off and smoker has his snap chat for somereason#nami finally turns it off for him and luffy sends smoker dumb snapchats of sanji’s smokes being like is this you#luffy takes so many snap chats of zoro and he is sleeping in 99% of them#luffy snapchatting his fights#or getting usopp to snap chat it for him#everyone on his contact list gets a 2 second snapchat of luffy punching a celestial dragon in the face and are like oh fuck

[ltc-kilgore-deactivated20181027]

Mr. Bond, I’m afraid your hippos have lost their appetite

[bransonreese]

[notcaycepollard]

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

[serpentking456]

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.

[bransonreese]

Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

[severepaperhideout-deactivated2]

But buddy.

Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the shark swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.

((Here m8 https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basics ))

[bransonreese]

Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?

[todayilearnedthat]

TIL that sharks are so incredibly smooth they don’t actually need to swim, they’re propelled forward because the water slides off them so fast.

via tumblr.com

[brilliantlyhorrid]

[knitmeapony]

This is still one of the best executed jokes I’ve ever seen

[porterr-robinson]

[devon-aoki]

dog:

[flightcub]

*capitalist voice* well, we could make sure everyone lives comfortably, but it would make the money sad

[gifbro]

[4gifs]

Cockatoo reacts to the Fluff Challenge. [video]

[sententiola]

[Video of venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough standing amid vegetation.  On a near-horizontal branch above his head is a brown and yellow greater bird of paradise, about the size of a crow, with big floaty yellow plumage puffing out along its back.]

Bird:  Pwuk.  Pwuk. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  This, surely – Bird (hopping along the branch):  WUKWUKWUkwukwukwukoooh.  Oooh.  Oooh.

[Cut.  Same shot.]

Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  This, surely, is one – Bird:  Kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  This, surely –

[Cut.  Same shot but the bird is on the other side now and venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough has his hand on the branch.]

Bird (hopping up and down on venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough’s fingers):  Eh-eh.  Eh-eh.  Eh-urrrr.  Eh-urrrr. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  Close up – Bird (hopping away from him):  Tiktiktiktik.  Tiktiktiktik. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – the plumes – Bird (hopping around):  Huek. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – are truly – Bird:  Huek. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – exquisite. Bird:  Huek.  Eh-eh. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  The gauzy – Bird (hopping and spinning on the spot):  HukWUKWUKWukwukoooh.  Oooh. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  …

[Cut.  Same shot but the bird is back on the original side of the branch.]

Bird:  Aark. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  Of course, by the eighteenth century – Bird:  Ehhh. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – naturalists realized that birds of paradise – Bird (hops across to the other side of the branch) Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – did have – Bird (hopping back again):  Krrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – legs.  Even so – Bird:  WUKWUKWUKWukwukwukooh.

[Cut.  Same shot.] Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough (apparently trying to tickle the bird’s tummy):  – by about the eighteenth century – Bird (hops away and spins round) Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – and so – Bird:  AAAAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK aaak. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough (wearily):  …  Very well.

[Cut.  Same shot.]

Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – but Karl Linnaeus, the great – Bird (vibrating rapidly on the spot and then flapping its wings):  PWAAAAAAAK. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – classifier of the natural world – Bird:  AAAAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAUUH. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – when he came to allocate a scientific name – Bird:  … Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – to this bird – Bird:  … Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – called it – Bird:  Wooo-ooo. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – wooo-ooo – Bird (surveys the surroundings with a dignified turn of the head) Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  ‘paradisia apoda’: the bird of paradise – Bird:  Hoooo. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough:  – without legs. Bird:  Eh-eh.

[Close-up of the bird.]

Bird:  WUKWUKWUKWUkwukwukwukwukoooh.  Ooh. Bird:  Ooh.

[Fade to black.]

[maryburgers]

Officially the only good post on tumblr

[jhameia]

I’ve been planning to teach students how to describe videos and write transcripts and I shall save this post for this very purpose.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Sharing for the perfect transcript.

[gaybuttfuckzone]

[super-metroid]

@tokai-teio

[mollylele]

1998 me: What is 2018 like?

2018 me: Let me show you something.

[kranxa]

I was already sold and then the end had me dying. Quality content

[a-singing-dragonfly-deactivated]

a work of art

[logan43000-deactivated20150721]

[transfigurationprodigy]

Don't you think it's really lucky that all the Marauders' Animagus forms just happened to be great for helping Remus? Imagine if James turned into a monkey or a dolphin or a beaver or something. Three years for nothing.

I have though about this extensively. EXTENSIVELY. I have wondered if animagi can only turn into animals that they are familiar with, or are animals native to the regions where they live. Imagine living in the UK and turning into a hippo or something. How could that ever be helpful?

For people who are wondering, this is a way that Remus Lupin’s life could’ve been EVEN SHITTIER than it was.

“I can’t believe you guys did this for me! You could’ve mentioned it!”

“Nah Moony, we wanted it to be a surprise,” Sirius said with a smile.

“Yeah, we can be mysterious too,” James grinned.

“I can’t wait to see what we transform into,” Peter chimed in excitedly.

Remus stood in anticipation as he watched his friends begin to work the complex animagus transformation. His eyes wide, his mouth open, he soon found himself standing in a room with a somewhat agitated elephant, a snapping lobster, and a really f*cking pissed off shark.

“Well….shit,” Remus muttered.

And thus was born Moony, Stampy, Pinchy, and Jaws. 

[perhapsarat]

[flospughsadadad-deactivated2021]

Evangeline Lilly ending male actors in 78 seconds. (x)

[idiopath-fic-smile]

steve rogers: pr disaster | gen | 4k

(someone asked about the full version of this, so here u go)

“Wait,” says Sam, “you had a publicist?”

“For my first five months at S.H.I.E.L.D,” says Steve. “Then she quit. Uh, decisively.”

“Well yeah, she had to keep you in line,” Bucky says with a half-smirk. “How many times did you make that poor lady want to sock you in the face?”

“Lost count,” Steve admits. “I did offer to let her, once. Seemed fair.”

Sam laughs. “I feel like you’re sitting on a story here.”

“There’s no story,” Steve tells him. Sam raises his eyebrows. Bucky’s half-smirk tilts towards a full smirk. “Seriously,” Steve repeats, “no story.”

Interlude: The Story of Steve “Walking PR Nightmare” Rogers, and How For a Short While He Single-Handedly Destroyed the Emotional Health of Eva Laura Ortiz, His Now Ex-Publicist

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