Don't you think it's really lucky that all the Marauders' Animagus forms just happened to be great for helping Remus? Imagine if James turned into a monkey or a dolphin or a beaver or something. Three years for nothing.
I have though about this extensively. EXTENSIVELY. I have wondered if animagi can only turn into animals that they are familiar with, or are animals native to the regions where they live. Imagine living in the UK and turning into a hippo or something. How could that ever be helpful?
For people who are wondering, this is a way that Remus Lupin’s life could’ve been EVEN SHITTIER than it was.
“I can’t believe you guys did this for me! You could’ve mentioned it!”
“Nah Moony, we wanted it to be a surprise,” Sirius said with a smile.
“Yeah, we can be mysterious too,” James grinned.
“I can’t wait to see what we transform into,” Peter chimed in excitedly.
Remus stood in anticipation as he watched his friends begin to work the complex animagus transformation. His eyes wide, his mouth open, he soon found himself standing in a room with a somewhat agitated elephant, a snapping lobster, and a really f*cking pissed off shark.
“Well….shit,” Remus muttered.
And thus was born Moony, Stampy, Pinchy, and Jaws.
I love when @fleamontpotter turns the weird bullshit in my head into awesome comics.
imagine the series exactly the same except these are true animagus forms of the marauders.
ron has a pet lobster instead of a rat.
harry sees an elephant instead of a dog that night he leaves privet drive. similarly crookshanks is seen hanging out with an elephant on hogwarts grounds at night.
james potter gets drunk one night and decides to battle the giant squid in his shark form to win lily’s affections.
‘jaws flopped again last night’
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Sirius, Dumbledore said no!” A large grey elephant had appeared at Harry’s side as Harry clambered over the various trunks cluttering the hall to get to Mrs. Weasley. “Oh honestly,” said Mrs. Weasley despairingly. “Well, on your own head be it!” The great great grey elephant gave a joyful trumpet and gamboled around them, waving its trunk wildly, and chasing its own tail. Harry couldn’t help laughing. Sirius had been trapped inside for a very long time.”
I’ll see you, and I’ll raise you these:
“My God,” said Lupin softly, staring from Scabbers to the picture in the paper and back again. “His front claw…”
“What about it?” said Ron defiantly.
“He’s got a pincer missing,” said Black.
“Of course,” Lupin breathed. “So simple…so brilliant…he cut it off himself?”
“Just before he transformed,” said Black. “When I cornered him, he yelled for the whole street to hear that I’d betrayed Lily and James. Then, before I could curse him, he blew apart the street with the wand behind his back, killed everyone within twenty feet of himself–and scuttled down into the sewer with the other lobsters.”
“There was a huge sewer lobster problem that year,” Hermione gasped, eyes wide. “I read about it in Weird histories: London in the 1980s.”
* * * *
“If I’m proud of anything I’ve done this year, it’s how much you’ve learned…Tell me about your Patronus.”
“How d’you know about that?” said Harry, distracted.
“What else could have driven the dementors back?”
Harry told Lupin what had happened. When he’d finished, Lupin was smiling again.
“Yes, your father was always a really f*cking pissed off shark when he transformed,” he said. “You guessed right…that’s why we called him Jaws. That and he liked to terrorize punters on the River Cam.”
* * * *
“Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself most plainly when you have need of him. How else could you produce that particular Patronus? Jaws awkwardly flopped around again last night.”
It took a moment for Harry to realize what Dumbledore had said.
“Last night Sirius told me all about how they became Animagi,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “An extraordinary achievement–not least, keeping it quiet from me. And then I remembered the most unusual form your Patronus took, when it air swam Mr. Malfoy down at your Quidditch match against Ravenclaw. That was pretty f*cking dope, by the way. Little shit deserved it.”
* * * *
And then the source of the light stepped out from behind an oak. It was a silver-white lady shark, moon-bright and dazzling, propelling itself over the ground, still silent, and leaving no trace in the fine powdering of snow. She swam up toward him, her beautiful head with its serrated, many rows of teeth glistening.
Harry stared at the creature, filled with wonder, not at her strangeness, but at her inexplicable familiarity. Perhaps he had seen her previously, during Shark Week programming.
* * * *
“But this is touching, Severus,” said Dumbledore seriously. “Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?”
“For him?” shouted Snape. “Expecto Patronum!”
From the tip of his wand swam forth the lady shark: She landed on the floor, darted strangely across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her flail away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears. Not of sadness though.
“After all this time?” he said, trying not to bust out laughing.
“Always,” said Snape.
but imagine sirius trying to escape azkaban as an elephant ??
While you’re at it, imagine the Grim as a giant, spectral elephant that haunts churchyards.
#still my favorite thing
