[aidotweb]

the person i loved never existed

[margaretmcpoyle]

And no they don’t think of you

[aidotweb]

why am i so fucking sad

[aidotweb]

i don't want to be lonely forever.... you were good at pretending to care.

[aidotweb]

i miss her. i wonder what she really looks like.

[aidotweb]

i want to delete you from my life, and permanently this time

[aidotweb]

i really need to stop caring about how much i matter to people who i have no contact with

[aidotweb]

sometimes i still think about you. do you think of me too?

[aidotweb]

i miss having people to talk to that don't want anything from me

[aidotweb]

i thought that we were friends, and i wanted to be able to trust you with anything... unfortunately you showed me that i couldn't trust you with everything

...i told you that i had fun hanging out with you and spending time with you many times. sometimes it was hard. usually there was an underlying issue behind that, in retrospect. but i've tried to move on and part of that has been erasing a lot of our conversations.

the times that you screwed up, really screwed up, should be obvious. but let me list them for you:

putting me in a chokehold (2x) / telling me to kill myself / printing and sharing private photos and conversations without my permission / coming to my house after i asked you not to (????x)

honestly there's probably more

i try to forget about you all the time, but i obsess over things. uncontrollably. i really wish that i wasn't constantly wondering what new terrible thing you're telling people i've done, or what horrible things you're calling me online, or if you've actually forgotten about me. i wish you would just forget i exist.

you aren't a terrible person in general, probably. the people who love and care about you are probably great people for you to be around. but you and i are toxic for each other. and yes, i do know i've fucked up a lot but that doesn't erase the things you've done that haunt me.

and they HAUNT me. i hate who i am when i'm your friend. the things i do and say usually make me feel disgusting when i'm alone again.

[aidotweb]

“You used me” as if. begged you not to spend money on me, asked you for advice on something you knew more about than i did, let you thirst over me even though it made me uncomfortable. what exactly did i use you for? companionship? is that not what friends are??? i gave so much of myself to our friendship despite all of the terrible things you said to me and did to me, so how exactly did i use you?

[aidotweb]

of course im the villain in ur story…. ur a narcissist… it will never be ur fault

[aidotweb]

do u miss me or do u hate me???