Come back: Graduate and After
It’s been a long time I didn’t write anything. I miss to type kind of tick-tock on my keyboard. Imagining something I’ve done and confuse how to type down. Confusing how to make you, the readers to be able imagine what I’ve done too. So, when you have read these, these mean I come back! Yay!
I was busy. Defragmenting my mind after I graduate and some realities took me up then down or the opposites. I was busy to know what myself want to do after I graduate from university. It took very long time to think. One I could not believe that, write down what I want to be on a piece of paper was the real difficulty. I could even believe that I didn’t know what to do.
I came from the major study that not everyone wants to know it. Some of them think that this is difficult, illogic, unexplained and unimaginable. Well, but my lecturer and my classmates were not the same, off course. They kept telling me that chemistry needed for many objections the examples are for the industries, food manufacturer, pharmacy, forestry health and environment. I remember that I graduated with enough GPA to join the industry. I applied to some factories, plants and offices. I paid for some job fairs, copied my CV and other docs, wrote down some cover letters. I also came to some call of interviews and dizzying for some psychology test. One you should believe me that psychology test is not a test to ensure you that you have good analytical thinking and logic but, this is a test that aimed to know whether you are crazy or not. If you are, you pass. One, two, three and four months I did not get any good phone calls or e-mails. I was frustrated by myself that I thought all the things alone. Bad feelings, bad guessing. I thought that I am not good enough. I thought that I am not qualified for any industries of office. I was fully stressed. I lost weight, I was so thin and nothing I could do but waited and prayed. I bet I could die every day, every time job searcher application sent me the notification or e-mails.
Other days, I took some times to talk with my mom about me and my future. She said clearly that she didn’t want me to work out of town and come home late. She wanted me to live with her, not to have a heavy work but just stay at home having some a little business. In short, she didn’t want me to be tired. FINAL! But I just even can’t accept that, my mother deserve to have better daughter. I mean I should not only at home, I should go out, take 8-10 hours in a day to gain rupiahs. My mother did not totally agree. Sincerely she wants me to be a teacher. Allah J
So, I tried to come in some schools. Put my CV and waiting the call is the real horror. My mom was glad, over and over again. She said I should wait and that would be okay for me. But I’m not, Mom. LOL.
While I was waiting, I taught some courses that I love when I was in high school, Chemistry and Biology. I remember that Chemistry in senior high school still plain, still simple. It was not like when I am in college. Everything seemed dark and complicated. No. I am not serious. Chemistry in college brought the details of plain Chemistry in senior high school. I got a simple pattern of pH and some structures of molecule without knowing the reason and the frontier patterns. So Chemistry taught me to see something from the details, the littlest. The first day I taught Chemistry, I realized that I did not get one job because I was not sincere yet. The littlest thing from my mind, I still didn’t know what was my goal. That was made me ashamed.
It feels like, I run to catch something. But I do not know what is that something. It is unexplained.
So, it has been 3 months, me as the teacher. My Mom is glad, my Dad too, my sister has her own private teacher and me, myself still trying to catch my something. The good news is, now I know what is y something. I hope you all have the same, yes. Go run and find your luck by yourself. In fact I got a little bit allergic to recommendation-job-offering. I hope you too, having a comfort free politics in working atmosphere is everyone’s dream.
Good luck. See ya in other story!