[nalyra-dreaming]

I'm sure you're probably getting a ton of asks right now but as a Nicki fan I am really disappointed. I know he's a divisive character but he means a lot to me personally and I'm just... sad. I wrote all these posts, ruminating on what I thought were clear patterns building towards something larger, some kind of resolution, only to find that it ultimately came to nothing. If anything there are way more questions than answers and who knows if they'll ever be answered? Or worse - maybe things really are as straightforward as they seem... There's way more I could say but I'll spare you. I guess I'm just lucky I only read the book last October and watched the show in February so it's not as if I've been waiting years and years to see these characters on screen like some people. Sorry for the vent, but thank you for doing what you do!

💕

Yeah, I... wasn't happy with that either. As with Lesmand I also felt there was something building there....

I also felt the gathering of The Failures very hollow. There was no catharsis in it for me. *shrugs*

It will be interesting to see if Joseph Potter will be back on set for next season... if all that building might amount to something after all. I for one would love it.

[ainonayru]

The Lesmand/Nicki stuff was pretty intertwined in my mind as far as build up was concerned.

But I also thought there was a clear pattern of deliberate obfuscation of Nicki's importance by way of Gabriella (which was perhaps unintentional with the Hit the Lights reveal? Unless, as some people have told me, was to avoid spoilers. Personally I really don't want to get my hopes up. Especially now). Along with the first love/great love confusion that was never properly addressed in the finale either. Was Nicki a first love? A great love? Am I just biased?

I was really only anticipating a 'one and done' with Nicki. I love him, but I'm not so far gone as to expect the show to dwell on him too much. I know he's dead.

But I also know that Lestat himself considers him his greatest failure, so I thought the show would really reflect that.

Right now there is an incogruense between what we learn of Nicki in seasons 1 and 2, and what we see in season 3. And I really don't understand why.

Why retcon and change things if you're not going to do anything with it? Or can I expect more mental gymnastics as to why it isn't a retcon, actually.

I think Sam Reid does an excellent job selling just how much Lestat did actually care about Nicki in episode 3 but it honestly feels like the rest of the show did not get that memo! There are so many things missing, so many inconsistencies, and the finale did nothing for me in that respect.

In the finale, I understand why Nicki was standing separately from the others in the crowd (because of him uniquely fostering Lestat's love of music), but then when he looked at the other group (Louis, Gabriella, Child Lestat, Marius, TC) and said that he really did love all of them, I honestly expected him to at least glance over at Nicki. Just for a second. But no, not even that.

Personally, if they do just leave it at that I would be deeply, deeply unsatisfied with the show. Will Joseph Potter come back? I mean, I hope so. But there is still no guarantee that any of my questions will be answered in a satisfying way.

I think just having Nicki unequivocally reclaim Hit the Lights would do so, so much for me emotionally. It is a beautiful, heartfelt song that encapsulates their relationship so completely that it is a real shame for the writers to not recognize that.

[ainonayru]

I know that next season Lestat is probably going to be getting kidnapped by Akasha in episode 1 or 2, but one way we could have believably gotten longer flashbacks about Lestat's past is to have Lestat reach a point where he could talk to Louis!

If Lestat is telling Louis about his past, it would bring back the 'interview' format and it could represent a healing in their relationship.

[nalyra-dreaming]

“Not loving them letting us sit with the assumption Lestat was cheating on Nicki with Armand for a whole hiatus.”

This is not a secret mystery door- Lestat was cheating on Nicki with Armand. That is the show canon. That is what the show is telling us. It’s fine to dislike the choice, but denying it atp is ????

Lestat denied it.

Other characters claiming it is not the same thing, nonny.

[ainonayru]

I don't know why they are tip-toeing around this plot point so much. It's like the show is telling us one thing while showing us another. We never see this alleged cheating, not even in the sex montage of episode 1. Anytime we see Armand in a past sex flashback it is in relation to Louis. Lestat isn't shy about who he has sex with, so why would this be if it were true? Yeah, there are the lyrics of Big Boss, but again - that is the show telling us one thing while refusing to show us the other. Armand is referred to as Lestat's ex more directly in the finale, but in episode 6 I believe it is meant to be ambiguous for reasons beyond my current sleep-deprived comprehension. Why would Louis refer to Armand as Lestat's ex in the car in relation to, what I presume, was one of Lestat's book annotations? Why wouldn't he just say Armand if he meant Armand? Louis met Armand as part of the theater, so why would he be so hesitant to say Armand if he and Lestat did in fact found the theater together? It's not like that would necessarily be a stretch for him to believe. Book readers know it was Lestat and Nicki who founded the theater, but all Show viewers have to go on is Nicki's outburst that I think people are very willing to dismiss as him just being "crazy". But on that note, Louis also knows about Nicki. So why wouldn't he just say Nicki if he meant Nicki? I really think the writers are trying to be clever here, but failing. And it isn't helped by Armand shortly thereafter saying that he did in fact found the theater with Lestat. Lestat also looks at Nicki when he says that he "fostered suspicion and paranoia". I suppose that could be about a number of things, such as hiding his vampirism. But the glaring example is the cheating Nicki and Muse Nicki have been accusing Lestat with all season. But unfortunately I think it is yet another thing meant to be ambiguous, like the writers want to have their cake and eat it too. The closest Lestat ever comes to denial (unless I missed something in the finale, which is possible) is in the theater box, which I know people love to dismiss as Armand wanting companionship and Lestat just wanting sex, but again - why? Why has nothing else ever pointed to it happened other than what OTHER people have said, and not Lestat himself (again, other than the lyrics of Big Boss)? Unless we are supposed to take the people of the mind palace's word as gospel? But then why not just show it in the sex montage? Why try to hide it so desperately like showing them together again would be akin to opening the Ark of the Covenant on all our faces? The show keeps hammering this point in, over and over and over again, and I don't know why they keep circling the drain with it? Why? Why is this plot point so important to remain ambiguous? Either it did happen, and they wasted our time trying to be cute with it, or it didn't and they... I don't know, think we're stupid? I honestly don't know what the writers are thinking with this plot thread.

[starlightanise]

"The Loneliness" scene was legit a better season finale.

[ainonayru]

Sorry, but... it is kind of true. 😞

[tehcherrya]

Lestat at Nicki's Window

I love them <3

I am being the change I want to see by supplementing a book scene that I never got to see come to fruition and illustrate how I imagined them it in the form of fake screenshots!! This scene in the book absolutely has my heart!!

[ainonayru]

I love this scene! 😭 And I love how you captured it!

To me, so much of this scene is the antithesis to all the people that claim that Nicki never loved Lestat, or that Nicki really only wanted them to go to Paris to fail (I think he said that because in the moment, yes - he did want to hurt Lestat. But a lot had happened between these two scenes. Depression, anger; hurt people hurt people; fine line between love and hate. All that.) Nicki here has no expectations, yet he calls out to Lestat through his music. And it's beautiful and sad and tragic.

[nalyra-dreaming]

I'm almost afraid to ask, but then I realize I can't be more disappointed than I already am, but what do you make of the recent comments about Hit the Lights confirmed to be written with Nicki in mind but that they "couldn't find a place for it in TVL" so they threw it in to episode 4 as a Gabriella song? Hit the Lights, a song we have seen not only as sheet music in episode 1 it was also the song Lestat was working on in episode 1 before he was distracted by the blackout/Gabriella (recalling the lyrics to Why Do I Have to Feel?). Whose lyrics one hundred percent fit Nicki, and - in my opinion - do not fit Gabriella at all. It calls so much into question for me. It suggests far less care than I originally expected from the writers. All this talk about "protecting Nicki's memory" seems to be a nothing burger with regards to what we saw as deliberate obfuscation between Nicki/Gabriella. The "a great love, not a first love" call out by Muse Nicki, continuing to wear Nicki's ring (which I definitely don't think wearing it to rile Louis up would be "protecting Nicki's memory" so I'm going to kindly assume the costume designer was talking about another ring), Lestat's phone wallpaper apparently being the same music Nicki was playing when he first saw him in Paris, Gabriella "interrupting" the interview when Lestat was talking about Nicki - no longer do they feel like foreshadowing. Now they just feel like scraps thrown to hungry dogs (that have read the book). The omission of the music box from his past retelling feels more like a choice by the showrunners for it to just... not have been there at all, and to not be at all important, rather than Lestat himself being unwilling to talk about it. If they really, truly feel that such a heartfelt song written with Nicki in mind was interchangeable with Gabriella then I think it is also telling us to take things at face value and to not expect any revelation in episode 7. I think episode 7 will maybe reveal that Armand had more of a hand in Nicki's death than originally shown - that maybe Lestat did leave Nicki with Armand as in the book, and that's why he feels guilty - and that will be that with regards to Nicki.

Okay, so: greeeaaaaat, my gut feeling was right 😅, and... I don't know how to feel about this change.

Like, seriously.

Because think about it - the lyrics were intended for Nicki, right?

Making "By candlelight you used to teach me how to kiss" absolutely heart-breaking.

Why? Because this is AFTER Lestat comes to Paris! (And they already knew where they were going with the characters! So:)

... Implying Gabrielle did not kiss him. Like that. Gently. Carefully. Learning each other.

Not ... like first kisses are supposed to be.

.... imagine.

*sighs*

I think episode 7 might reveal a lot of things, yes.

I am also not happy about what they did there. Because for ME Nicki and Gabriella are NOT interchangeable, at all. The lyrics do not fit for her. The lyrics are alluding to Nicki's fall into depression, and for the sweetness of their time, as short as it may have been.

And Gabriella telling Lestat how she felt? Really? When she did that she did it to disarm him, and then to touch him, very inappropriately.

Like, that is something very, very different.

Yeah. Not particularly happy with what they did there I have to say.

[cuntyloustatsblogz]

this wasn’t about it being interchangeable tho the song just worked better for one dynamic than the other which frankly it does

[nalyra-dreaming]

See, exactly that I disagree on, and honestly, to each their own, but that is my opinion on it.

[cuntyloustatsblogz]

i gotta be honest i can’t not read lines about teaching children how to kiss as predatory like it just reads as creepy i know if it were for nicki the context would be different but it’s still just a concept ive never found romantic

[nalyra-dreaming]

But we KNOW it was written for Nicki.

Which is EXACTLY THE POINT???

And yes, if it had been written for her, and apparently now is wanted to be interpreted by them it IS predatory, I didn't deny that??

My whole point was that I didn't like them rebranding the song, because it had been written for NICOLAS.

[ainonayru]

And where does it imply that it was about children? Your older brother is still your older brother no matter how old YOU get. And just the lyrics themselves suggest a progression of time. My older brother tried to teach me with his fists I never learned that lesson I gave up on confession Things that occurred in the Auvergne, but are now in the past. Tried to teach, but it didn't work. By candlelight, you used to teach me how to kiss But then the very next line is: I thought we made it out And I know you had your doubts, but I thought we made it out. Out of the Auvergne, out of that life in the village, out of that unhappy home dynamic. In my opinion, the kissing occurred AFTER they made it out and were now in Paris. Sorry for jumping in again, this just bugs me more than it should.

[nalyra-dreaming]

I'm almost afraid to ask, but then I realize I can't be more disappointed than I already am, but what do you make of the recent comments about Hit the Lights confirmed to be written with Nicki in mind but that they "couldn't find a place for it in TVL" so they threw it in to episode 4 as a Gabriella song? Hit the Lights, a song we have seen not only as sheet music in episode 1 it was also the song Lestat was working on in episode 1 before he was distracted by the blackout/Gabriella (recalling the lyrics to Why Do I Have to Feel?). Whose lyrics one hundred percent fit Nicki, and - in my opinion - do not fit Gabriella at all. It calls so much into question for me. It suggests far less care than I originally expected from the writers. All this talk about "protecting Nicki's memory" seems to be a nothing burger with regards to what we saw as deliberate obfuscation between Nicki/Gabriella. The "a great love, not a first love" call out by Muse Nicki, continuing to wear Nicki's ring (which I definitely don't think wearing it to rile Louis up would be "protecting Nicki's memory" so I'm going to kindly assume the costume designer was talking about another ring), Lestat's phone wallpaper apparently being the same music Nicki was playing when he first saw him in Paris, Gabriella "interrupting" the interview when Lestat was talking about Nicki - no longer do they feel like foreshadowing. Now they just feel like scraps thrown to hungry dogs (that have read the book). The omission of the music box from his past retelling feels more like a choice by the showrunners for it to just... not have been there at all, and to not be at all important, rather than Lestat himself being unwilling to talk about it. If they really, truly feel that such a heartfelt song written with Nicki in mind was interchangeable with Gabriella then I think it is also telling us to take things at face value and to not expect any revelation in episode 7. I think episode 7 will maybe reveal that Armand had more of a hand in Nicki's death than originally shown - that maybe Lestat did leave Nicki with Armand as in the book, and that's why he feels guilty - and that will be that with regards to Nicki.

Okay, so: greeeaaaaat, my gut feeling was right 😅, and... I don't know how to feel about this change.

Like, seriously.

Because think about it - the lyrics were intended for Nicki, right?

Making "By candlelight you used to teach me how to kiss" absolutely heart-breaking.

Why? Because this is AFTER Lestat comes to Paris! (And they already knew where they were going with the characters! So:)

... Implying Gabrielle did not kiss him. Like that. Gently. Carefully. Learning each other.

Not ... like first kisses are supposed to be.

.... imagine.

*sighs*

I think episode 7 might reveal a lot of things, yes.

I am also not happy about what they did there. Because for ME Nicki and Gabriella are NOT interchangeable, at all. The lyrics do not fit for her. The lyrics are alluding to Nicki's fall into depression, and for the sweetness of their time, as short as it may have been.

And Gabriella telling Lestat how she felt? Really? When she did that she did it to disarm him, and then to touch him, very inappropriately.

Like, that is something very, very different.

Yeah. Not particularly happy with what they did there I have to say.

[ainonayru]

Okay, yes, this was my ask; I am outing myself. It's hard for me to express just how disappointed I am in this change as someone who fell in love with the Nicki/Lestat story for very personal reasons. And while I knew how sinister the ''by candlelight, you used to teach me how to kiss' line becomes once it is about Gabriella, I didn't even consider the "tell me how you felt line", but you are very right. We see a moment when Gabriella tells Lestat how she feels (or what Lestat wants to believe that she feels), and she weaponizes that against him to abuse him sexually. I thought that scene expressed a turning point in their relationship (the 'mother and son' line seemed to be placing a clear boundary between what they were then, to what they will become as vampires) but now are we to believe that she was kissing him when they were both mortal? Is that the takeaway? As I said, the lyrics really DO NOT fit for Gabriella in my opinion and I honestly can't believe that someone would look at them and think "eh, Gabriella? Close enough". Unless maybe they hadn't read the book? But even then... I've made three posts about what I believed the show to be doing with Nicki, including a breakdown of the lyrics to this song, but now I'm not sure of anything anymore. I really thought that there would be a healing moment when Lestat would acknowledge the mistakes but learn to let go of his guilt while still allowing himself to feel just what Nicki meant to him and THAT would be the moment we would hear the full Hit the Lights song (probably not an acoustic version). Music is a huge theme in this season and the character that helped Lestat find the love and gift of music is just... not important? At all? His story is given piecemeal to other characters, diminished into nothing? Sorry for the rant. I'm just... I'm not sure.

[fandiagnosis]

Nicki's ring

[ainonayru]

Too bad it ultimately won't amount to anything! (Sorry, not in a good headspace 😑)

[ainonayru]

Welp, after the costume designer's statements about Lestat's ring I'm back to being pessimistic about Nicki's story this season. 😑

For all the talk about Lestat trying to protect Nicki's memory, to then imply that he is wearing the ring to make Louis jealous? Or that it is ultimately about him, and not 'I loved this person very much and now they are no longer here but I still carry their love and memory with me'?

That doesn't seem very respectful of Nicki's memory to me. I was hoping we would have a mature story about what it means to still hold love for someone that has since passed while also moving forward with your life. Guess that was too much to ask for!

[ainonayru]

Now I think there must be some kind of big Nicki revelation in Episode 7 because how else did he end up 4th in the credits over Delainey?

[ainonayru]

Here is my random thought of the day.

I was rewatching Madoka Magica recently and I realized that Sayaka reminds me a lot of Nicolas de Lenfent.

Not only are they both musically related, as they both grow more depressed and more filled with despair and resentment and self-destruction, they both lash outward and hurt those they love most. Pushing them away, rather than folding inward.

(Subsequently, a lot of people also don't like Sayaka because they don't understand mental health)

Or maybe I'm just crazy, lol.

[ainonayru]

People take what Gabriella said about Lestat using up his affection for Nicki at face value, but if anyone has ulterior motives, it's Gabriella.

Plus, if that were true why did Vampire Lestat try to continue his relationship with mortal Nicki (as I believe the show is telling us to accept that part of Armand's tale as true)? He could have just stayed away, as in the book, for his protection (since there when he did actually see Nicki again he almost ate him 💀). And THAT choice made things worse for Nicki in other ways, AKA the gaslighting. (On that note I wonder what kind of explanation Lestat gave for why he was away all day and only came around at night, among other things.) We do see Nicki drinking in Armand's version of the tale, but I don't think Lestat seemed bored? As some people claim.

And at least in the book, Lestat wanted to turn Nicki.

"Or was it I now had the excuses I needed to bring him to me as I had wanted to do from the first moment? My Nicolas, my love. Eternity awaits. All the great and splendid pleasures of being dead."

Now, was this the case in the show? No idea.

We know Nicolas didn't take to vampirism well. But I don't think it was a lack of love on Lestat's part.

[ainonayru]

Just saw the episode 5 sneak peek!

I think it really feeds into my theories about how Nicki is still haunting the narrative even though he is technically present as a representation of Lestat's subconscious.

Can't wait!

As for why I think Muse Nicki is yelling? Obviously this could change once I see the whole episode, but I think it is due to Lestat's guilt - guilt about the past, guilt about how he is currently downplaying his love and importance (that whole "it was a first love, not a great love" thing. It was Muse Nicki, AKA Lestat's subconscious, that called him out on that).

I need to watch it not on my crappy phone to understand what Nicki is saying, lol.

[ainonayru]

Post by @ainonayru · 1 video

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 0 · Okay, so, I would stake (get it?) my life on Hit the Lights being Nicki's song. I have thought this ever since I first saw

This is part two of my case for why Hit the Lights is unequivocally the Nicki song. Part one is about the overall pattern surrounding Nicki in the show (so far), with an addendum adding more evidence in another post. This will be a more in-depth breakdown of the lyrics to the best of my ability. First off, let's start with the title. The song is called Hit the Lights. Light (and darkness) were a big reoccurring motif in the story of Lestat and Nicolas. Nicki saw Lestat as filled with light, but he only saw darkness in himself (which I believe is representative of his deep depression and insecurity/self-loathing). "You have a light in you that’s almost blinding. But in me there’s only darkness. Sometimes I think it’s like the darkness that infected you that night in the inn when you began to cry and to tremble. You were so helpless, so unprepared for it. I try to keep the darkness from you because I need your light. I need it desperately, but you don’t need the darkness." But I think people also forgot that Lestat saw light in Nicki, too: "You're the mad one." I said. "If you could see yourself, hear your own voice, your music - which, of course you play for yourself - you wouldn't see darkness, Nicki. You'd see an illumination that is all your own. Somber, yes, but light and beauty come together in you in a thousand different patterns." Here are the lyrics in full:

https://genius.com/The-vampire-lestat-hit-the-lights-bare-bones-lyric

First off, I do think that the show deliberately chose to show the lyrics of the last 2/3rds of the song in Episode 1 and only let us HEAR the more ambiguous first verse while SHOWING us the aftermath of Gabriella abandoning Lestat in Episode 4 (see my part 1 for more). Let's break down the lyrics further:

My older brother tried to teach me with his fists I gave up on confession This could reference the monastery, but I think it could also be a more general rejection of God by Lestat. By candlelight, you used to teach me how to kiss We get short flashes of intimacy between Lestat and Nicki, as if his real feelings are bleeding through despite his attempts at obfuscation. All of these scenes are bathed in the soft glow of fire and candlelight. Tying back to the theme of teaching, Nicki helped Lestat with his stutter; his older brother mocked him for it. Nicki used kisses; older brother used fists.

The iconic "Are you going to teach me to be a man, Lestat de Valois?" line ties into this theme as well. I could write a separate post for why I don't think this line refers to Gabriella. I thought we made it out Out of Auvergne. Out of unhappy home lives? And I know you had your doubts, but Nicki was cynical. He had doubts about coming to Paris due to his perceived failures as a violinist. Despite talent, he started too late. Why won't you let me bring you flowers Like I used to cheer you up? We see a vase full of drying flowers on a table during the Your Biggest Fan music video. In Episode 3 Lestat refers to Nicki as his 'bipolar boyfriend' and 'depressed lover'. It breaks my heart to see you losing touch With all the things you used to care about Are symptoms of depression. Also, in the book Nicki was catatonic for sometime after being turned. I shoulda' listened when you told me how you felt Could be a reference to "Our Conversation", and how communication was a huge theme of their relationship in the book; Nicki's struggles with mental illness; the gaslighting we know occurred after Lestat's turning; the fighting. I tried to make it better, I wrote a hundred letters This is a little harder without more evidence from the show. In the book we know Nicki wrote letters, and later Lestat exchanged letters with Eleni in the theater. Lestat learns of Nicki's death via letter in the book. In the show the only allusions to letters are in Nicki's breakdown scene, where he mentions his letter opener and how at one point he accidently opened a letter from Gabriella meant for Lestat. When your melody runs through my mind Oh, how I melt This should be obvious, but Nicki played the violin. I believe Lestat was being sincere when he talks about Nicki in relation to his music and how he fell in love with it. In the book Nicki played his violin to cheer Lestat up. Sometimes of his own volition; sometimes at Lestat's behest. I wrote a hundred songs I tried to bring you along, but Music was the gift that Nicki gave to Lestat. By creating his own music he is, metaphorically, bringing him along. He is carrying that memory. We could also tie this back to the music box. Lestat composed the piece that was in the music box and he did, in fact, bring that along with him (there is a reason the music box hasn't been brought up again in season 3, mark my words). You disappeared And now I'm left here feelin' sorry for myself With my mind and nothin' else Feelin' sorry for myself This part really solidified the idea that this was in fact the Nicki song for me. We know Daniel Hart is more than happy to reference book quotes in his song lyrics (see Your Biggest Fan) and I believe these verses allude to one of the most heartbreaking sections of the book (in my opinion): "He lives on in my mind now. Pious mortal phrase. And what kind of life is that? I don't like living here myself! What does it mean to live on in the mind of another? Nothing, I think. You're not really there, are you?" Even with everything else, I honestly think that this passage might be the strongest evidence I can offer.

[ainonayru]

Post by @ainonayru · 1 video

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 16 · Okay, so, I would stake (get it?) my life on Hit the Lights being Nicki's song. I have thought this ever since I first sa

Already making an amendment to my Part 1 with some more evidence. The song Lestat is working on in Episode 1 is Hit the Lights. The lyrics aren't the same, but the melody is the same. For transparencies sake, the lyrics of this version are as follows: My little heart's reflection You've got a confession You used to find... HOWEVER, he is interrupted by the blackout and texts Gabriella. Distracted, if you will. If we go back to the song that the show has told us is about Nicki, Why do I Have to Feel?, we find this: Oh, I, I tried to write to you The prettiest song in the world But I got distracted Oh, and I didn't Oh-oh As mentioned, during this scene there is a blackout. The song he is working on, as we later learn, is called Hit the Lights. For anyone who isn't a native English speaker, telling someone to 'hit the lights' means you are asking them to turn the lights off. For a song equating turning lights off with death, a blackout seems fitting. (Also on re-watching this scene there is a fireplace to Lestat's left that appears behind him in some shots. Where else have we seen prominent fireplaces? This probably doesn't mean anything but you never know.) I should also mention that in Episode 3 Gabriella again "distracts" from something Nicki related when she has loud, disruptive sex with Jarda in the bathroom during the interview with Daniel. (I am aware that this could also be as retaliation for Lestat almost revealing her identity, or for the dig against her parenting with the mention of the witches' place, but nothing is going to be done by accident in a television show.) That's it for now; there will probably be more later knowing me.

[ainonayru]

Okay, so, I would stake (get it?) my life on Hit the Lights being Nicki's song. I have thought this ever since I first saw the transcribed lyrics from the sheet music seen during the auction in Episode 1. Which, honestly, I think is the first piece of evidence pointing towards Hit the Lights being the Nicki song. In that shot we see two separate piles of sheet music for two different songs: Hit the Lights and Black Licorice. I have a theory that these two songs could be paired with two other songs. Why do I Have to Feel? with Hit the Lights. Black Licorice and Brutal Love. I propose that Why do I Have to Feel? and Black Licorice are both under baked representations of Lestat's true feelings for his two great loves. Hit the Lights and Brutal Love are the raw vulnerability underneath the pain, the trauma. These are the lyrics written directly from the wellspring of his heart and soul. Now, before I move on to the specific lyrics, I do know how the show framed the song. I argue that it is part of an emerging pattern of the show deliberately obfuscating Nicki's importance to both us as the viewer and from Lestat himself at the time - as we must remember that these are his recording we are being invited to listen to. One good example of this is the framing of Why do I Have to Feel? in Episode 2. We understand on principle that songs can be about anything at all no matter where we are singing or to whom, right? But with a show, a movie, any kind of visual medium, choices are made in HOW things are presented to us and how and where and when these things are used. Lestat sings the song as he presents Louis with his annotated copy of Interview with the Vampire, and everyone thinks "Oh, that's a Louis song!" But then in the very next episode, Daniel tells us, the viewer, that Why do I Have to Feel? is a song written for Nicki. (And I am NOT saying that songs can't be about more than one thing, I am simply trying to show a pattern of how the show chooses to frame things to nudge viewers' thoughts in a specific direction) I believe that the show has done the same thing with Hit the Lights. I think it is even more egregious when related to the Nicki/Gabriella relationship, as Muse Nicki - which as we know is more representative of Lestat's inner thoughts than the actual Nicki - specifically calls Lestat out for his prioritization of Gabriella multiple times. "It was a first love, not a great love." "A great love. Not your first love." (And I thought "A first love, not a great love" was Lestat just being glib, but WAS he talking about Gabriella there? Is it a little of both? People have also surmised that Lestat was describing Nicki's actual death to Daniel in this scene but equating it to his mother instead. I don't know. If that's true how are they going to resolve all these questions in Episode 7?!) A portion of Hit the Lights is played after we learn that Gabriella has abandoned Lestat. The shot is of a lonely beach shore with the sun setting. But unlike Why do I Have to Feel? the song is not being sung diegetically during the beach scenes. It is in voice over. (I know he is singing it on the bus) I also find it interesting that this happened immediately after the Blood Wedding scene, as whose ring do we see Lestat wearing repeatedly in the present day, and even back in season 2? Nicki's. (interestingly, Lestat isn't wearing it when he is singing Hit the Lights on the bus - because Nicki is wearing it himself!) There are also various things that haven't been brought up which I personally find it hard to believe that the show would forget about, namely the music box. The show INVENTED the music box - it did not exist in the book - so why has Lestat omitted it from his tale thus far? Because he is deliberately downplaying Nicki's importance, just as the framing of the show itself is. And I feel like this pattern is growing with each episode released. ANYWAY. I am incapable of being succinct so I think I will save the breakdown of the lyrics for a part 2. If I got any details wrong please let me know!

[ainonayru]

Tears.