words are easier when they're not spoken aloud @airsuperiorityblu - Tumblr Blog

“Please don’t make me into your home. There is only darkness inside. And anything beautiful that enters here, will be surely eaten alive.”

— Helaena C Moon @ http://hapless-hollow.tumblr.com/ (via hapless-hollow)

SA

i WILL finally draw up the nerve to apologize to you. I will say that this dream I had did not help my state of mind.

i do really miss being friends with you. I miss a lot of things from freshman year, I have a lot of regrets now and...and I need to stop thinking about what ifs and lost potential. enough. it’s gone. the past is passed. I can’t do anything about my past actions now, I can only move forward and do things now that I won’t regret in the future!

kinda feeling things spiral now. Also it’s interesting how I turned to the silent void of the internet to scream about my feelings when I had nobody to talk to, and now that I have people, I don’t use this as much. I guess that’s good.

Uh oh it’s sad boi hours

ES

Hey, baby. I miss you. It never hurts too much unless I’m lying in bed at night thinking about your arms around me, or wishing for your smile to be right next to me. I ache all day to talk to you. About what, I don’t know. I just like hearing the things you have to say and how you feel. I’m like a tv show addict, hungry for the next episode and more content, but I just want more of you. Whatever it may be, I want more. It’s such a peculiar urge. How do I express that I want more of you? That I want to hear all your words and thoughts and opinions?

The more of you I get to experience, the more I’m in love with you.

i can’t wait to hear you gasp my name and squeeze my hand tight

hey, love,

I am enamored with the space between your words, that thoughtful contemplation of action.

I strive for goodness because you deserve nothing less. Reams of care and affection upon which I write a story in love’s red ink.

ES

hey i love you! so fucking much! it used to terrify me and sometimes it still does but honestly...i don’t care anymore. better to have love and lost than have never loved at all.

ES

i think i’ve finally found the time and energy for emotions

ES

i don’t know why I think you’re so good for me besides the many reasons I’ve come across. I feel incredibly lucky. so fucking lucky.

ES

hey i miss you and it’s been two and a half hours since I last saw you talk about gay on main

BW

lowkey highkey still think you’re one of two people i ever actually had feelings for. isn’t that wild?

ES

so like,

i want a thing but do I want a Thing so quickly? the buildup is so nice, the tension drawn out between us like taffy that gets sweeter the more you stretch it. If this thing stays nebulous a little longer we can make it last, extend the luxurious feel of a thing known but not yet spoken.

we haven’t spoken it into existence. We stay aware, nearly-knowing but not For Sure, in this balance of emotion and half-glances, wide smiles and moments of shared gaze slightly too long.

he makes a good argument, about awkwardness, but i feel it speaks more to his experience than mine? There is truth in it, though. He’s not wrong, that awkwardness can sprout if given the chance. but I don’t want to ask simply to avoid awkwardness. that can be part of the charm. not everything is such smooth sailing! the storms make it memorable.

I don’t know what I want, and I’m afraid of the unknown. a bad combination when you’re trying to make a time sensitive decision.

i don’t see enough people like me with happy endings, with enjoyable lives and girlfriends and aesthetic pictures of the beach. i want to know i can have it too

frustration

life is always unexpected

CB

borrowed your flannel I lowkey miss you already and the smell helps me sleep at night

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words are easier when they're not spoken aloud