How to identify a snake? (not about snakes)
Friendship is a type of emotional relationship, although ambiguous, since some would say it is someone you trust for life, while others think it is affection, a passion that does not go beyond the level of friendship. For me, friendship is difficult to understand, but what I am sure of is that it comes from connections between similar beings who want to be part of the person's life.
However, unfortunately, there are people who seem like friends, but are fake or treacherous. Unfortunately, it is common to find this type of “friendship”.
Like a snake, it may or may not contain venom.
Detecting a true friendship is very difficult, but giving tips on how to identify one is a good help for those who have not yet realized the problem they are in.
1° poison on the tip of the tongue.
The most obvious thing to identify: is when she hurts you. It is normal to have some intrigues from time to time.
However, if your friendship is in a context of always asking for advice and being criticized with unnecessary comments about how you dress, your behavior, your hair, etc. in an ignorant way to make the person insecure about themselves, it is a red flag and a warning that you need to talk. If the person ignores this warning, it is because it is not worth getting attached to this cycle.
[And this is almost a form of manipulation for sensitive and mentally fragile people.]
“Telling the truth without humiliating or hurting someone is absolute proof of love, respect and friendship.” -Paul Sants
Everyone has met someone who only thinks about themselves and their own needs.
An example of this is when you help your friend several times, but she wouldn't do the same for you, because she is more "important" than you.
Another example is when they only get close to you to get with one of your friends.
Another example: they seek out the most popular students or those who get the best grades to fit in or get better grades.
The snake surrounds you as if it depended on you for everything, but it is only using the person for its own gain.
“There is more truth in a silenced lie than in selfishness disguised as friendship.” - Carlos Henrique.
He is never wrong, he thinks he has the right to argue that his thoughts and actions are the whole truth and that others are not correct.
Right:
~adjective
1.
in which there is no error; true, correct.
"answer c."
2.
that is not subject to doubt; certain.
"it is c. that the bus will come at 5 o'clock"
When someone who always thinks he is right in a situation, it is difficult to communicate and even debate with the person.
poorly explained example:
"I like a, because of this" "ah but this a is really bad, I prefer b and only my opinion matters"
Not to mention the "I told you so" game of such and such, wanting to rub it in your face and not in the form of advice
Reference to the little prince: I am a hat.
cleaning your mouth with soap
Talking badly about others is a form of projection, a defense mechanism where we attribute to others those undesirable feelings or behaviors that we do not accept.
Very similar to prejudice, which is judging others without knowing the circumstances, but it changes according to the situation.
There are situations where people talk to your face, but make it all a joke or to “help” in some cases, but this only causes self-esteem problems in you. It is a red flag.
others behind your back, with someone who can spread gossip about you. A true friend does not talk badly, but rather, talks and discusses the subject.
Never make bad jokes or talk to other people about it and think you are right for having done so.
Friends are people who help each other stand up, not pull the rug out from under you.
“Talking badly about people, criticizing and judging is very easy, what is difficult is knowing and understanding what these people have gone through to live in the mouth of some idiot. But there are idiots who feed on the merit of others.” - Sérgio, o Cancioneiro
5° Comparison and competition
In a world of equal people, the hardest thing is to be authentic.
People who compare us to others, highlighting what we don't have that others have, come from people who most likely have a terrible emotional burden.
However, pushing and trying to make others inferior can have the same effect on someone else.
No one is the same as anyone else. Neither better nor worse, they are different.
Comparisons are the path to unhappiness. In addition to being a useless habit, it destroys people's self-esteem.
What is the difference between comparing and imitating?
When comparing, people have a problem of feeling inferior to others, just as much as when imitating others.
However, the difference is that when someone imitates you, they are trying to be like you by force.
Today, young people get irritated by jokes and that is the fun part of imitating someone, but when someone imitates someone else's style, starts wearing the same clothes as someone else and changes their behavior, it is a different way since we are all different, even though we have the same culture and ethnicity.
We have our own tastes, even though we may look like some friends.
However, some situations and actions are forced by people to try to fit in somehow OR to get attention.
In addition, it can be signs of jealousy coming from the person. It can be envy that the person keeps inside, which is quite sad and unhealthy.
“I don't need to copy anyone, unlike many, I prefer to be a nobody than a cheap copy.” - Grazielle Nardari
The practice of ignoring, refusing to respond to, or avoiding talking to another person.
When silence is used as a form of punishment or control, it can be a great danger for those who depend on conversations to feel good about themselves.
An example of this manipulation is that it is perfect for making the other person apologize for things they did not do.
And in the end, the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive manipulation strategy that conveys contempt, always with the intention of control.
Always with you all the time
This is an important tip. Friends will always be with you, no matter the situation. They should be there when you are good and when you are bad.
If they only stay when you are bad, they probably want the best for you, but they could also be someone who is using you as “at least I am not worse than that person”
And when they only stay with the good things, they may only want the best for you, but they also don't want to have your problems around
And for the final point...
the examples mentioned here are many situations caused by those people with mental problems or disorders who cannot take care of themselves very well.
For those who can bear the weight of someone with these problems; very good! and take care of your friend, talk to him, seek help for him.
If you cannot handle this pressure, the best thing to do is to walk away.
No one can save you or save others.
You must save yourself alone, but helping others or being helped is not synonymous with weakness, it is synonymous with someone caring about you.
We are all a bit of a snake sometimes, it is not entirely our fault, but we are also humans who make a lot of mistakes.
Just don't throw your venom at the defenseless. I have been a bad friend to many people, I'm sorry, it is my first time living as a human.
To all the friends I have made the mistake of being:
Apologies
And
Thank you
For being part of my life.
izzy806
dededos
jbbartram-illu
pixelskylines
