I was nimue-hidden-lake before! I have changed this blog name to akechis-special-case!
Please check out my rentry if you want to know more about me! It also contains my BYF, DNI, F/O List and much more!
I may focus on (modern) Persona content but I am NOT a fandom blog! I post a lot about selfship stuff too (primarily focusing on Goro Akechi in that regard)! You may follow if you like, just be aware of that when following!
NEW STRAWPAGE UP! It is also my general info card now. Please read it (with updated F/O List... Except it only lists the most relevant ones. Character tags stay the same by the way, I just didn't add them... Whoops. Anyways F/Os like Bowser or Shadow are still there, just not in that section. I debate to make a whole section dedicated to 'just for fun selfships', we'll see).
P5 Sona Info, P4 Sona Info, BSD Sona Info, FE13 Sona Info, Super Mario Sona Info (P3 Sona TBA)
General Sona Info (coming soon)
My AO3 (All of my fics in one place)
Probably the one you see the most here. Goro Akechi is my beloved if not the love of my life and he's extremely dear to me. I also don't keep it a secret that I love him. I consider him my boyfriend (/ future husband). If that makes you uncomfortable or you find it weird, feel free to not interact. Also if you're wondering though yes I am fine with the terms 'selfshipper' or 'yume' or any other related term being used!
I'm not saying that I don't love my other F/Os, I do. It's just that Goro is probably the one to look out for the most. I will usually talk & post about him.
I interact from @eve-has-a-writing-addiction !
Also if you enjoy my work, please consider checking out my Ko Fi. Perhaps consider comissionig me too if you want!
Important Tags (A List)
#Testimonial Evidence -> Random Rambles
#Relevant Evidence -> Writings
#Physical Evidence -> Art (drawings & sketches)
#Documentations -> Answered Asks
#Pancake Detective -> Personal Goro Akechi Tag, usually gushes but can also be random stuff, as long as it's related to Goro.
# 🥞📚 -> Ship Tag, mostly used for Goro & me but it can also be him and my sona
#Dancing Birds & #Lukanjakechi -> Ship tags, used for Goro and my P5 Sona
#The Jonkler -> Akiren / Joker (P5) Tag (Platonic F/O)
Band Of Thieves [Name] -> Other Phantom Thieves Tag (Platonic F/Os)
Tag list may update over time!
A quick reminder as I was asked what my stance on cc x cc is with Goro specifically...
As for other F/Os, I'm mostly neutral on cc x cc ships with them. I don't like them but I don't dislike them either. They exist to me. I probably won't engage in cc x cc discourse for them (mostly because I'm not that invested in cc x cc ships usually) but I don't really mind. Other F/Os this applies to are listed on my Strawpage.
So I picked up Persona 3 Portable recently. And this is my experience in Tartarus so far...
I don't do it fully unmodded but outside of an exp share to reduce my grinding time, no gameplay has been messed with. Playing on Maniac and it's fun. But Yukari just keeps on dying. I also looked at her spell list and when I saw that she learns her 4th skill at level 16 and Media at level 22, I internally lost it. Add that her endurance is ass and that she has the lowest HP... Yeah, she's bad. I think that I can already see why. I just mean from a gameplay perspective by the way, not from a writing stand point. And also it's Pre-Reload because in P3R Yukari is an excellent healer and quite busted.
Anyways, who on the development team hated her specifically because this performance is just criminal
Dividers by @/uzmacchiato
AO3 Link
Words: 1,034
Pairing: Annzai (Ann x Dazai)
“I cannot stand you! And yet, I also cannot stand to be away from you!”
The realization was nothing but torture for Ann. Oh how they wished that it had never crossed their mind because the thought had become unbearable. They hated sitting around at home anxiously, always biting their lower lip while clutching onto something. Usually it was a pencil which nearly cracked under the pressure. They hated it, the fact that they felt so indecisive. Always. You would think that they are more than happy to be alone, away from that guy for a little while… A break from Dazai and his antics. Enough of his talking, let alone random flirting… All with a shit eating grin. It wasn't their problem for today. Being around him? Yeah, who wouldn't drive insane?
Yet there was always something lingering and they hated to admit to it. And it had happened in the morning, when he for once got up (not on time, as if that guy would ever be on time) and was about to leave for his work at the detective agency. Ann had to hold back their hands. They were trembling, vibrating, about to move. And why? Because the realization hit that he was going to be away for most of the day and they were stuck here, or at least away from the building where the Armed Detective Agency resided. The café was right in the same building, the first floor, yet they didn't have a shift assigned today. If they had, they would see him probably around lunch if not all the time until Kunikida would show up , grab that lazy bum by the back of his neck and drag Dazai upstairs… All while his body was hitting the stairs each time. And while he was whining he never looked to be sorry either. If he was, he would change his behavior after all. But he didn’t. There was never an attempt honestly…
It should be fine. Ann should breathe deeply in and out, knowing that they would be spared for the day. And yet they… Weren’t. If they hadn’t controlled it then their hands would have reached out and grabbed his sleeve, as if encouraging his behavior to slack off. A part of their brain wanted to beg, ask ‘Stay a little longer’. Their lips had trembled too. Because they knew that they wouldn’t see him until afternoon… Or evening, if he was going to stay the regular work time. And they hated this feeling, being apart for this time. And they didn’t know why. It shouldn’t be like this.
They didn’t always feel this pathetic. But somehow, they were. It wasn’t something which was lasting for forever but they were like this in their mind. It felt stupid. It was a vast contrast to what would escape their lips, a contradiction in its very nature. Well, they were a walking contradiction when it came to Dazai in particular and they weren’t denying it to themself. Saying it out loud though? They would rather die, explode on the spot, combust if you will. Whatever, just make them vanish into nothingness! They hadn’t reached that stage yet!
Kind of… There were always attempts to say it out loud, that one line… But they still couldn’t. And it was getting ridiculous. Maybe that’s why things had felt so stagnant between them, nothing changing. The same old routine, the same behavior. And that’s why Ann said the same thing to themself. The same line which was eating them up inside…
“I cannot stand you! And yet, I also cannot stand to be away from you!”
Truly the worst… Dazai is toying with them yet another irony? He didn’t know it. He was unaware. One would think that he was aware but he wasn’t. Maybe that’s also why it made them torn. Even now, instead of moving the pencil across the paper in front of them it was at a standstill. Their focus was long lost from the story they had wanted to write. Now their mind was just focused on one thing and one alone, one person… And it made their breath hitch, pencil shaking in place before the pencil lead would suddenly crack. Said crack snapped them out of their trance and made them look down, right at the letters…
Yeah, they were stuck. Not because they didn’t know how to proceed but rather because the irritating thoughts were back. It was as if his absence was causing them all types of problems, more than when he was around. Maybe they were just scared… His past haunting him or being on a mission which would be the end of his days… They were too worried. It was making them sick. Even though they should expect this. Worrying about him was truly the worst. All because they had to realize that they just cannot stand to be away from him. Again… Yeah. His antics were the worst but even more so that he was not even close. Love is stupid. Feelings are confusing. They had picked the worst person to fall in love with. They knew but by now they couldn’t stop it. It was a curse.
But they could shove these thoughts aside when they heard the door open. And just like that all worries would be washed away. A simple phrase which always puts them at ease. And the familiar voice saying it in that annoyingly upbeat tone, as if nothing had happened. Alright, to be fair, nothing had really happened except Ann’s inner turmoil. And no one but them was aware of it. So there was no one at fault, no one but them. And when it hit their ears? They cracked a smile. It was small, barely visible, but a smile nonetheless. It lasted a second, if that, but it was there. Just don’t mention it or they will sink into the ground and never reappear from it. ‘This is a secret, at least for now.’
Anyways…
“I’m home!”
Yeah, that’s Dazai. And he returned. Another day where Ann could be assured that they won’t be separated for the time being.
I have been doing some thinking lately (as in several years now) and I wonder if Osamu is just as important as Goro and Nagito. Like yeah, it's messy and there's no clear line of 'being together' (also reflected in my sona lore) but also we all know. I think I hesitate because my mind is occupied with the other two more but he always, and I mean always, sneaks back in when I least expect it.
I guess that I just get a bit flustered and it irritates me that it's so confusing. I don't know how to put my exact feelings into words.
Oh yeah, I didn't share it here yet. A few hours ago I finally got all achievements in P5R and it took me two runs? Kinda? Eh, either way, I got all Steam achievements. Now to get the in-game ones.
As for what I have been doing my most recent run...
War crimes. That's what.
Ok for context a month ago in a Discord server I participated in drafting P5R Confidants with others, including party members (automatic Confidants + Strength were free due to the nature of these. Maruki is free too for the true ending requirement). And I have Morgana as a party member, hence why I needed to buff him. I may have gone overboard though because this was all before the Sae boss fight. I now realize too how broken the Jazz Jin is, drafting Goro first gave me access to one of the most broken mechanics, especially in a draft setting. EARLY CHARGE ON RYUJI WAS QUITE SOMETHING TOO!
Oh, and I also put a restriction on myself to only use Personas of the corresponding Arcana in combat. I also drafted Ryuji so this was great. Though Shiki-Ouji turns this into a bit if a breeze (if you watch RagnaAlvarr challenge runs you know how good the Chariot Arcana on its own is) ... Listen how could I not buff up Shiki-Ouji!? I have a second draft run I gotta do with a different set of characters (except two because of course I have Goro. Also snatched Chihaya again somehow but I ain't complaining). I might record it and do a video on it. It's a maybe but an idea. I'll let you know if I plan on doing that!
Anyways, back to the grind. I'm so close to the end, gotta lock in now!
Also thinking if I try my draft setups in Vanilla P5. I wanna see if it is even possible with those restrictions. But one step at a time.
Been a while since I chewed something properly. Unfortunately I'm really not a fan of a salty taste, as light as it is, so I gave away half of it. But I can eat more variety of food by the day.
Divider by @/bhavihelps
Characters: Ann Wolfsberger (OC / Sona), Nagito Komaeda
Words: 2116
“No, it’s not great that everyone is coming to me for advice on their love life! It’s a pain in the neck!”
It apparently wasn’t self explanatory for Ann. why so many people had sought them out for help, how their hope was inspiring people and made them being sought out by everyone around them. They were more than inspiring to everyone around them. And besides, them being sought out specifically for advice was more than proof that, and it was a sight which made him look in awe, make his respect grow for them more and more. Then again, it was perhaps expected for an Ultimate and the only shame was that they couldn’t see it. Instead they called it ‘annoying’. But that’s why maybe fate wanted Nagito to be around them. So that they would see what they were capable of.
Right now though he was sitting across from them, right at one of the tables. It was the unused classroom both met at, even if it was him just showing up uninvited. Yet they weren’t complaining that he was in their presence. That they would tolerate someone like him, someone who shouldn’t even be close to them. Yet they let him stay and he was going to savor it.
But what was going on right now? As said before, they were currently complaining about something which made them pause halfway through. To think back on it he had seen them not just around the school campus but also on the way to school they were surrounded by all types of students. Even those from the mere Reverse Course had dared to approach them out of nowhere. He could have interfered but in the end it was not any of his business. It wasn’t jealousy, of course not. Though those students didn’t know just how lucky they were, that someone like them was even allowing them to come closer. Ah… Yeah, he is aware how he sounds, jealous beyond belief, driven by selfish desire to stay close to them.
But it was the truth, jealousy wasn’t a part of it. After all, he had the same privilege as them, except it was more often, given Nagito and Ann were classmates. Not just that but the moments within as well, like the empty classroom where he was alone with them. So that wasn’t an issue. Not even what they were asking the Ultimate Novelist… As ironic as it was. And that’s kind of what they aware complaining about, to the point that they had stopped moving their pen and left their papers unattended as well. Instead they made use of their mouth. Everyone sought them out for one specific topic… The topic of love.
Nagito wasn’t even going to pretend that he was an expert on it. He was anything but that and maybe that was one of the most obvious things anybody could conclude about him. Was he even worthy of something like that? Fate is a cruel mistress and she was telling him everything he needed to know. The answer was therefore obvious to him when looking back on his own life like that. So all he could do was read up on it, get a feel for it that way. And one of those sources had been Ann’s very own novels.
Even before meeting them he had a bit of a fascination with those writings. There was always something about them which made him cling onto them. They may deny it but he saw beneath the surface, how hope filled they all were. It wasn’t just mere escapism, no, they may as well be scriptures of hope. The protagonists were always put into situations which seemed to put them into a corner, despair inducing… Yet in the end they would always prevail. They would come out victorious, overcoming whatever hurdle was on their way. And he was savoring every single word, no, letter of these scriptures. It made him believe that maybe someone like him could have a chance in life too. Though most would treat these writings as mere escapism.
And when he had talked about it to the author themself? They were just rolling their eyes. “It’s called suffering and it builds character, nothing more.” They claimed. “Who would read a story with no steaks in them? It’s that simple.” Even they couldn’t see it. But that’s fine, there was still value found in those words. And besides, they were a source of topics like love. In fact, they were dabbling a lot into one specific genre altogether, or always had a subplot involving it… Romance. It was always at least somewhat relevant, a topic they pretty much frequented in their works. It’s always present in some shape or form. So it was only self explanatory that they would be approached about these things.
And yet they always looked a little uneasy, at least somewhat, as if they didn’t know what to say. They always excused themself very quickly and running off too. And now they had spent some time complaining about these circumstances, how people just wouldn’t stop asking them about it and it frustrated them. And he was just listening to it until it had slipped out, how great this was that others sought them out. And that’s how they got to the complaint in the beginning. They were staring him down now, furrowed brows and sharp glare. It wasn’t too scary but a little intimidating, to say the least. It made him reel backwards in his seat, nearly falling off. Luck has shown him a bit of mercy today though, or at least for now.
“Why not? You seem to be very reliable when it comes to things like this.” Nagito tried to assure them, smile not fading despite the circumstances.
Ann however rolled their eyes, gaze even sharper. “Excuse me? I’m a novelist, not some stupid dating coach.” They sighed, one hand resting against one of their cheeks as they were pouting ever so slightly. “Are you seriously agreeing with them because of my writing?”
“W… Well…” Yeah, pretty much. Not like he had any better reference to begin with, nor did he have any experience.
“Fiction isn’t reality! I don’t know how stuff like that actually works!” They countered before he could even say anything else. They even stood up, slamming their hands against the table, palms facing down. “Writing is fiction! It’s a fantasy! What the hell do I know about romance!?” It was so loud that it finally got to the lucky student, though it was ironic.
He moved back far enough that the chair started to lose its balance and before knowing it he fell down, right onto his back while sitting on it. His head hit the ground shortly after, the back hurting for a short moment. The next thing he heard while sitting up was Ann’s voice, a shift from annoyed to concern. “K… Komaeda!? Are you ok!?” The next thing he saw was them suddenly off their own seat, right next to him and kneeling down, a hint of panic in their voice. Ah, he worries them… Shame on him.
Yet he laughed it off quickly as he rubbed the back of his head. It stung so bad yet he laughed it off regardless. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just my luck.” He assured them as he got up on his own. Waiting and accepting their offer to help him would feel wrong. So he got onto his two feet on his own before there was even a chance of that occurring. “But you just said that you lack experience?”
They got up as well, nodding as they quickly got back on track, still looking at him however. “Yeah, pretty much. Do I seem like someone who has dated someone before?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged.
“Are you– No, you usually don’t lie.” They responded. “Never dated in my life before. I don’t know anything about it. I wish people would stop coming to me for that.”
For some reason it was leaving him a little stunned as well. It sounded so bizarre, given how vivid their descriptions were in regards to the topic – The heart pounding, the kisses and even the insecurities. It sounded believable. At least that’s how he imagined things to go as well. He didn’t know and it’s not as if anyone would go out with someone like him anyways. So he wasn’t holding his breath. He wasn’t worthy of an experience like this, unless it was going to help someone gather experience in that field. But that wasn’t really because he deserved this, more so a duty he would have to fulfill. But he didn’t mind it in any way. But wait…
“Say, do you need help having a reference?” The idea shot into his head at random. It probably sounded absurd yet his mouth was already doing the talking. “If you were to gather actual experience with dating, that might improve your work, wouldn’t it?” Yeah, it was a suggestion to help them become even better at their talent. That’s all this was.
The novelist and his classmate was looking at him, stunned into silence for a few more seconds before responding in some way. “What are you talking about?”
“Having moments to reference this feeling… Wouldn’t that make your work even more lifelike? Capturing the human experience in your own words… Didn’t you say it before? You can only write about what you know best.”
“I mean I did say that but–”
Before they could finish their words though he grabbed both of their hands and clapped them together. All while his own were cornering them from both sides. All while Nagito suddenly had a beaming smile, so wide that his lips nearly went to the corners of his face. “Then allow me! I’ll help you in any way I can!”
They looked at him, startled once more, or so it looked like. “Wha–”
“I know that I’m not worthy and I’m not asking you to care. I don’t expect you to. But please, use me in any way you want!” The thought of it honestly made him excited. He could feel his own heartbeat rising. This feeling… Ah, this was exciting in its own way! He kinda wanted to be of assistance now, very badly. Making an Ultimate’s talent flourish… A symbol of hope itself… “I will do anything you say! So don’t hold back! I will not complain!”
“Woha! Slow down!” Ann interrupted him, voice a little shaky now. “I didn’t even say that was necessary!”
All of a sudden his smile faded, his expression, while not fully disappointed, became more confused instead. “It’s not?”
“No, it’s not! I’m doing fine, aren’t I?”
“Of course! Otherwise you wouldn’t be the Ultimate Novelist.” Wait, did it sound as if he was doubting their abilities? No, that wasn’t his intention at all! “I didn’t mean to question that. Forgive me… All I wanted to say was–”
“I didn’t say that I felt insulted either!” Ann corrected him. He saw their cheeks catching color yet he couldn’t put two and two together. It was just more and more confusing the longer the two talked. “I just mean that you don’t need to bother. I’ll be fine.”
Oh, that’s all? Why did that sound so… Disappointing? Like, actually disappointing? Somehow it was crushing him deep down and his chest was aching. Or maybe he was imagining it? Yeah, probably actually. “Are you sure?”
They nodded, gaze wandering to the side for even just a moment. “Yeah, I am. Really. So just… Just focus on your own thing, alright?”
Their stubbornness was showing. But when wasn’t it? But he couldn’t do much about that. If that’s what they wanted, he wasn’t going to push it. “If you say so.” He said. “But I won’t take it back. If you ever need to gather experience in any way, come to me. I will take on any role you want me to.”
“D… Don’t sound so eager about it!” They scolded him though as their face was being all colorful. Somehow it was fun to look at. Wait, was Nagito allowed to be amused about this? “Also can you let go of my hands already?”
“Huh? Your ha-” Oh, right, he totally forgot about him clutching onto them. “Haha, I didn’t mean to. Sorry.”
But who knew that someone like Ann had no experience in the field they were writing in. It was ironic but also showcased how amazing they were. Ultimates truly are something else. So Nagito has to do his best to support them, no matter what!
Honestly? Watching the P5 anime was a mistake..I find so many writing issues with it but one of my biggest complaints is Goro's characterization (amongst other things. I have several complaints about the writing). I try to keep myself short but it but he just feels like a different character, and not in a good way.
Persona 5 spoilers below the cut.
In the anime and game both versions of Goro share the same story and plot beats but the execution is what breaks it for me. The way they handle him give him a different feel, not much of a hint of him wearing a mask in public. It makes his reveal jarring. In the game it always felt that something is up as he is full on 'Detective Prince' mode. In the anime he feels too geniuene which makes the reveal of him being the traitor and also a rather frustrated if not insane guy fall flat. And while in P5 I didn't find him being the traitor really subtle (at least I managed to tell from moment 1) there was built up to it. In the anime there isn't really any of that. It just suddenly happens in episode 26.
Ok maybe I miss the context from Vanilla P5 because I only played P5R but it still feels off. I know that Goro was an automatic Confidant and that had issues on its own but even if I take that into account, some nuance is just lost and the twist just comes out of nowhere. They even cut some lines in the first tv special (/ tv movie as it's 1 hour long) which add more context to his characterization which are necessary. Otherwise you just get a different character altogether.
While it's neat to see Goro animated, I really don't like how his writing was handled tbh. Maybe once sorting everything I will go into detail but in my opinion they did him so dirty... Not just him but he's definitely up there.
Well, got one of the big ones during my Danganronpa S journey.
Built him asap. I miss the card which allows stats to go beyond 255 so it's not exactly where I want it yet but it suffices for now as a solid Support build. Given that luck is his strongest stat I might experiment around a little once breaking the stat cap.
Ngl I lately debate to just draw some stuff with my regular sona with both Goro and Nagito but my brain goes "TOO SELF INDULGENT ABORT!" What if I desire to be stuck sandwiched between both of them? We all know I do (as flustered as it gets me whenever Nagito is just there but that's besides the point). I'm not beating the allegations so may as well just go all out. Or something...
I need to defeat my brain because not like I'm not being self indulgent 25/7.
Friend finally asked to watch the P5 anime and here we are now for a good while. We are stunned how it looks (and not in a good way). I'm ready though with food and drinks.
Can't believe that the P5 anime might give me my motivation back to finish some P5 stuff I still have planned. We'll see if it lasts.
Danganronpa 2 Side Story – The Ultimate Novelist And Their (Lucky) Hope
Click here to get to the fic on AO3
Among the 16 students on Jabberwock Island there is a 17th. Meet the Ultimate Novelist, Ann, and how they relate to the secrets of Jabberwock Island. There's a link not even they fully understand after all, at least not yet. Not just that but they're drawn to one of the other students in particular…
It is finally time to publish this work. The main fic for my sona is done. Though that's not all as I plan to publish some other stories involving them. I will finish them first before publishing however.
In any case, I am happy to proudly present this fic. I will update it in short bursts, arc by arc weekly. So only 4 chapters are publicly available right now. It will be completed though so no worries. Updates will come every Saturday so expect me to reblog this a few times.
This time covering everything up to a small recap surrounding the first trial. Next week will be a s´smaller batch yet it will reach up to a recap of the second trial.
But wait... 3 chapters left? There's more!? Yes, there will be a bit more last week. It will also be the last update before everything is published. Hope you're looking forward to it!
The (big) finale is here. The last 3 chapters are out!
If you followed this series, thank you for reading and I hope that you will check out the rest of these works! Currently I'm working on a prequel story which dives deeper into Ann themself and also one of their family members. I hope that you will look forward to that! Now if you excuse me... I got another larger project to work on.
So a friend is dragging me into Guilty Gear and I immediately jump in with my own sona. I had the idea pretty quickly so I refined it a little and... Here we are. I don't know how much I do with them but I wanted them to be finished at least so there's that. And I want to present them since this took me longer than I anticipated. But it paid off... Probably. Hopefully. Let's hope I do more with them than just this but we'll see. Depends on where my ideas take me.
Anyways I may or may not be already considering to selfship with a character... Of course it's the complex white haired guy with obvious problems (by that I mean Asuka). I have a type and I hate it. Makes me consider if I also have a bias for a certain OC of mine who falls into that category but details for now.
If I had to describe how their moveset would work in Strive (specifically there because I don't think they would be playable before in any way) ... I don't have any details yet but if you played P4AU, imagine something like Magaret probably. Especially when it comes to pull things out of a book. She pulls out Personas from the Compendium. The Author could do something similar, except they might reference folklore which is based on their own interpretations. But that's as much as I got right now. I will probably focus more on lore and dynamics to be honest.
Full body + intro text under cut
The Author (Ann)
Having lived locked up for hundreds of years in captivity known as The Author. Rumor has it that they can bend the universe through their sheer imagination alone and it is said that they are responsible for terrifying, world devastating events. Others were terrified of their power, hence why they started living in captivity as the world was changing. In fact, just like That Man they are also blamed for the state of the world as the fiction they produced became almost a one on one creation. And everything they create will become reality, they may shape it as they please. Yet as they have no control over their powers it may also happen unintentionally.
Only recently they had broken free and let go of their grudge against mankind. As they have been cut off from life for a very long time they are not used to the customs of the modern world and they may have a hard time reading the mood. Stoic and blunt, finding life boring as they may already know the outcome to certain situations if not all of them. Everything and everyone feels familiar despite not them never having met anyone before.
To fit into society they decided to keep the chains around them, keeping their power contained and limiting it greatly. They may still be able to create lifelike things yet they’re confined from their own imagination now and may not influence the world at large at any point unless they break free from those shackles once more. They don’t believe that they can ever make things right again but they can make sure to not make things worse and learn.
