My pjo tumblr/main tumblr: nicos-a-mamas-boy (I don’t post on it anymore but it’s the default account so when I like peoples aftg post it shows it as that account)
I just want everyone on Andrew’s professional team to think Neil is a bad influence. Sure, Andrew had a bad reputation in college, but in reality he's quiet and keeps to himself and never starts shit (even if he will finish it). Meanwhile Neil is loud and brash and has public feuds with at least 5 reporters at any given moment. He averages one brawl a game and is known to be arrogant and difficult to get along with.
Neil finds it Delightful. He's thrilled by the idea that there's a whole professional exy team out there that feels nearly as protective of his husband as he is
When Andrew tells him their captain asked if Andrew had ever considered divorce Neil practically threw a party. He owns more merch for Andrew’s team than his own.
I started this post like 3 days ago but didn't finish it
it's still kinda half-assed but what can ya do
I apologize but TBC will definitely Not be out this year, I think at this point I've legit deleted more than I've kept. but I am excited for yall to read it despite...... y'know. everything. backup plan is still to die before I have to release TBC but the good news for yall is I have a contingency plan in place if it that happens!!
also I am not really on social media anymore but my friends do sometimes send me posts from twitter&tumblr that they think are really funny or interesting or relevant, so to address just one of those vague topics::: TBC will be out before either of kevin's books. I freak out and freeze up if I have to write a book out of order, I am Not going to lock up an entire trilogy for a self-indulgent detour I promise.
quasi-related ---- I am so so so sorry to OP for posting this as a screenshot, but it was sent to me in discord as a screenshot so I genuinely have no idea where the original post is. if someone has a link lmk and I'll repost it properly
this is legit one of the funniest things I've seen all year and I loved it, tyvm, @instigatorjosten
i am a) bored b) suffering w/o a proper hyperfixation c) procrastinating studying
so here's @palmettoshenanigans andriel fic rec list w/ links and summaries
(accurate as of 6/7/25 update)
Favorites bolded in orange. Top Five marked with [#]
Short and Sweet/Angst and Read Several Times
loving you is muscle memory by Talls (sweet)
Neil has temporary amnesia, and Andrew is disconcertingly attractive. This is especially disconcerting because Neil was pretty sure he didn't swing. Nicky is endlessly pleased by the entire situation.
boyfriend privileges by mostly_maudlin (sweet)
Andrew knows he treats Neil different. So why is it so bothersome that everyone else seems to know it, too?
Five times Neil gets boyfriend privileges, and one time it doesn't piss Andrew off.
You Might Get It by likearecord (light angst)
The one where Andrew makes a perfectly reasonable request and Neil takes it too far like the dumbass he is.
Or, relationships are complicated and communication is hard. They don't always nail it.
So, Andrew has hit his limit. Neil’s charged silence next to him is so loud that Andrew can’t read over the buzz of it in his ears.
“Get out,” he says, turning to glare at Neil.
Neil blinks at him.
“Whatever stupid thing you’re obsessing over. It’s irritating. I don’t have time to solve your problems for you. Handle it. I have to study.”
Instantly, he realizes it was a mistake. He watches Neil’s face and body shutter up, closing tight like he’s locking down for a hurricane. It took so fucking long to get Neil to open up in the first place. Andrew had to peel him open one truth at a time. Fuck.
Translation Errors by SensationalSunburst (sweet like candy)
“Andrew doesn't love me,” Neil said simply, “So if he has a love language, I don't know it.”
“Oh, honey.” Allison drawled, “You don't actually believe him when he says he hates you, do you?”
This Roommates Bullshit by likearecord (sweet)
Kevin, Neil, and Allison are grad students, roommates, and obviously best friends. One fortuitous day, Kevin meets a short, knife-wielding blond guy in the library and brings him home to meet the short, knife-wielding redhead he lives with.
If only Neil knew what having a crush felt like before this happened.
temper, temper by Ominous (sweet and hilarious)
"You paid for the deluxe package," Neil says as he scrolls through his payment history to find his client's invoice. His system is simple:
Basic Package: Fuck you. A general statement of displeasure and a brief description of the wrongdoing.
Intermediate Package: Fuck you, with passion. Everything in the basic package, but with additional insults. Customizable for an extra fee.
Deluxe Package: Fuck you to hell. Everything from the first two packages, for an extended period of time, and with extra viciousness.
And it looks like Andrew Minyard is the unlucky soul today.
Killer Bunny by godless_writer (lil angst)
Neil started his second year in college thinking his past was behind him. His father was dead, Riko was dead, he was no longer running – nothing left to hide from. At least that is what he thought before six FBI agents barged into his team’s practice one day.
Or
The team finds out Neil had to kill some of his father’s men while on the run.
Pumpkin Patch by H_bee69 (sweet)
Neil wants to go to the pumpkin patch and who is Andrew to deny Neil.
Neil Josten Is a Lucky Man by irls_goaway (sweet)
5 times Neil ends up in the hospital and nobody tells Andrew
+The 1 time someone has the common sense to tell Andrew and Andrew decides, fuck, he has to marry Neil.
"If you didn’t keep ending up in the hospital, I wouldn’t have to marry you just to be able to know when you get hospitalized,” Andrew said.
Porcupines and Promises by StellaLuna365 (sweet)
Neil gets tipsy during a game of truth or dare with the Foxes, and his truth is what animal he thinks best describes Andrew. It's not the answer anyone's expecting
....
Andrew Minyard loves his idiot.
It's literally so cute. Just. Agh. Hehe
Neptune by kanekicure (sweet angst)
Stupid words, such stupid fucking words. Neil knows no one has ever said those words to him before. Not his father, not his mother and never from Andrew. Because why would he? This was nothing, he was nothing. He had said it himself.
Neil was a fool. A fool who’s heart was pathetically weak.
A fool who was in love with Andrew Minyard.
-
or Neil realizes he's in love and he is terrified
What Did You Call Me? by Fortheloveofexy (sweet n a lil hot)
They don't do nicknames. Or at least, they haven't before. Maybe it was just a slip of tongue, or Andrew had misheard. Maybe Neil hadn't meant to say it at all, but-
Neil had said it. He'd said it so casually, like it was natural, the nickname rolling off his tongue wrapped in all the things they normally leave unsaid.
OR:
The first time Neil calls Andrew 'Drew'
give or take by bazookajo94 (sweet and funny)
Palmetto State University experiences a category six earthquake. Andrew Minyard, trapped in a crumpled building and waiting for help, suffers through the dark and damp room with another student he can’t see and doesn’t know.
The other student, as one does in a life-or-death situation, fatalistically begins sharing all his secrets—he hates cookies, he thinks his roommates are kind of annoying, he kissed a girl and he didn’t like it, he grew up with the mob, he has a million dollars, he’s killed a man (well, probably).
But Andrew and the stranger are eventually rescued and do not die.
And the stranger in the dark disappears without even a face for Andrew to put to a name.
It's the Thought that Counts by gluupor (sweet)
Andrew and Neil's relationship has many facets that are confusing to outsiders. The strangest may be their habit of giving each other the contents of their pockets and calling it a gift.
hold your fire by seasy33 (angst)
It's understandable when, after four years of putting up with it, Andrew opts out of his final chance to spend a week on long flights to recruit the newest line of Foxes. What Neil doesn't understand is the break up text Andrew sends him while they're separated.
Oh isn't it a bit of luck… by Willow_bird (sweet and silly)
It took a moment for Neil to realize exactly what was happening and why. Clearly, the relative safety of the last ten years had eroded away his inherent paranoia until he didn't notice the weight of several small animals waddling all over him while he slept, because at least three of the little creatures were standing on his chest.
He cleared his throat.
"Um. Hello?"
---
Neil becomes the temporary guardian to seven ducklings and no one knows how to handle it, least of all Andrew.
Sweet Enough to Eat by Fortheloveofexy (sweet angst)
Neil is cute and Andrew has a crisis. That's it, thats the fic.
Bunny by lady_flash (sweet and funny)
The Bear seems to be catching on as well, his face twisted into irritation as he takes another swing at Neil’s head. This time Neil spins away and around to the man’s back, slapping him upside the head as he bounces out of range.
“Oh ho ho ho!” the announcer laughs brightly. “It looks like our favorite rabbit is feeling feisty today!”
or
What if Neil lost the money Mary stole from Nathan and all her resources when she died? What if he had no hope of survival without it? What if he turned to questionable methods to get money?
or
Street fighter Neil AU
Space In-Between by kitausu (sweet)
Neil and Andrew are outed by the press, except it doesn't really matter or change a thing.
-
(Or, snippets of Andrew and Neil's life in between Exy, and PR, and having to talk to other people who exist in the world).
just curious (series of 2) by gay_irl (sweet)
The Foxes play Catchphrase, but Dan notices that Neil and Andrew are scary-good at figuring out what the other person's word is. She pushes a little to see how well they can do (and also because they're all curious about that relationship).
Kisses on Scars by rememberednoah (sweet)
In which Andrew decides to kiss all of Neil's scars. In which Neil isn't quite sure how to react and feel about this
my whole life, too by eeveepkmnfan (sweet)
Neil has a moment of doubt, but Andrew puts it to rest as only he can.
(Now featuring andreil getting married in the brand new chapter two!)
definitely something by bazookajo94 (sweet n silly)
In order to get over his ex who is getting married, Kevin forces Neil to go into a pact with him: they each have to find each other’s dates to the wedding, since clearly Kevin can’t be trusted to find someone good for himself, and Neil is just hopeless.
Neil thinks he’s found a good match for Kevin in Andrew: he’s good at exy, he can tolerate Kevin at his worst, and he always turns up whenever Kevin and Neil are out and about. Neil is pretty sure Andrew is half in love with Kevin already.
Andrew is, obviously, very much into Neil.
in bars, in cars by moonix (sweet)
“I guess I just don’t understand it. How can you just be attracted to a complete stranger?”
“That’s the appeal,” Andrew retorts.
“What?”
“It’s a simple transaction. No complications.”
“Complications? Like what?”
“Conversation, obligations, baggage,” Andrew says dismissively. “Annoying habits. Emotional intimacy. That sort of thing.”
Or: Andrew and Neil meet at bars and talk about life's mysteries.
Do Not Disturb by mostly_maudlin (angst n lil sweet)
Andrew is in class when his phone rings. There’s only one person in his contacts set to bypass Do Not Disturb
it's only you by sensetia (sweet)
“I don’t know. I think I like you or something. I can’t keep my eyes off you sometimes. You’re so muscular. It’s like- I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing?”
Neil looked to Andrew, who looked wholly unbothered still, and shrugged weakly, “I shouldn’t think of you in that way. Especially when you don’t know about it.”
“I think of you in that way too. So it’s fine,” Andrew said with an easy shrug of his shoulders.
Neil blinked at him in shock, “You- What?”
Killing Me Softly With Their Love
Not Nothing by TheRainbowElectric
“Have you considered the possibility that Neil has chosen you, but believes you have not chosen him?” Renee says. "Have you ever explicitly told him what you want?”
“Neil knows what I want,” Andrew snaps. This is not Andrew’s fault.
“How do you know?”
Because Neil always knows. He is as fluent in Andrew’s micro-expressions as he is in German and French. He knows which head tilts mean “go on” and which ones mean “shut up.” Without ever asking, he learned what it meant to see Andrew wearing double layers of long sleeves, or taking multiple showers in a day, and learned to hand Andrew the car keys.
That has always been the most terrifying thing about Neil — his patience to wait, watch, listen, learn. The prospect that if Neil were given enough time, there would be no part of Andrew that was just Andrew’s anymore.
“He has to know,” Andrew says.
“Does he?” Renee says. “Have you ever known Neil to assume that he is wanted?”
Five times Neil tells someone that he and Andrew aren’t dating, and one time Andrew uses his words to set the record straight.
let the emotions get the best of us by Ominous
It’s been a month or so of this wooing. Andrew had called it that once, sarcastically, but it had stuck. Andrew committed. Gift after gift.
Now, Neil thinks he would place his own life in Andrew’s hands. To hold, to shape. He’s seen the beauty Andrew creates with his own eyes. He would be cherished--
He has been cherished.
The Warmth of His Touch by ANDREILMINYARD
“Don’t stop,” Neil murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
Andrew didn’t respond, but his hands resumed their movement, fingers threading through Neil’s hair with a care that bordered on reverence. Neil let his eyes fall shut again, sinking further against the couch.
The room felt smaller somehow, like the world beyond their dorm had ceased to exist. It was just the two of them, and for once, Neil didn’t feel the weight of the past pressing down on him.
Andrew’s hands slowed, and Neil’s eyes fluttered open again, a faint frown forming as he resisted the urge to protest. He didn’t want the moment to end, didn’t want Andrew to stop, but before he could say anything, Andrew spoke.
“Hold still,” Andrew said, soft but firm.
for good reasons, without grievance by whocriedwolf
5 times Neil shows Andrew he loves him, and 1 time he actually says it.
Broke My Heart and Left Me There To Rot
I'll Take Care Of You by Justthislazy
The worst part of it all was that he had felt so good about this step. He'd thought about it for weeks before he asked and Neil had been receptive.
Now he's staring at scars on Neil that he had only ever seen in a mirror before. Scars that Neil would have told him about if Neil remembered anything about getting them.
or:Andrew realizes that Neil was sexually assaulted at the Nest and Neil has no idea.
Oh love, I'm sorry if I smothered you by Ateiluj
Before he can tune them out as background noise, he hears his name.
"...definitely toxic. I mean, Andrew drives him everywhere, drags him out of parties early, doesn't let him talk to anyone else... I overheard Aaron telling Kate that Andrew picks Neil's clothes out for him, that's controlling as shit."
"Yeah, more like emotionally abusive. I don't get why the others don't do anything about it, though, like, if there was even a chance Neil would listen to me I'd be trying to rescue that poor boy."
"He probably doesn't even realize he needs rescuing, though, right? Like, that's how abusive relationships work. Besides, you know what his life's been like, with parents like his he might not know what a healthy relationship even looks like. And the others are probably too scared of Andrew to intervene."
Or, Andrew overhears an unfortunate conversation and spirals.
Broke My Heart, Left Me To Rot, But Came Back With A Blanket and An Apology
Odd Eye by tdashshirts [#Honorable Mention - for the autism]
Andrew spends most of his childhood thinking he is a psychopath. He is not. Andrew is, and always will be, just Andrew.
They Find Each Other In Every Universe (AUs)
fragile by likearecord (Radio!AU)
A new guy starts working at the radio station.
He's fragile.
Better keep Andrew away from him.
venus as a boy by kybelles (Highschool!AU)
Kevin's childhood friend is transferred into their school out of the blue. Andrew doesn't care at all.
Neil isn’t much taller than Andrew himself but he’s definitely leaner. His auburn hair consists of short wavy strands, high cheekbones a little rosy like he just got exposed to cold. Wrapped in his long grey coat, he has no business looking this well groomed as if they’re in the middle of a cocktail party.
Pale blue eyes focus on Andrew momentarily as a barely there, hesitant smile appears on the guy’s full lips. Then Neil opens his mouth and says “Hello.” in the most fucking posh accent and hell no.
Andrew immediately scowls. “No.”
Neil merely shrugs, easy elegance showing itself in his movement. "Okay."
Andrew decides at the moment he hates this guy with a burning passion.
Catfish by likearecord (Catfish!AU)
There’s very little Andrew likes less than being tricked, but not knowing things does make the cut. He stands, throws his messenger bag over his shoulder, grabs his coffee, and stomps over to slide into the chair across from the guy. He looks up at Andrew with a flash of calculated flight or fight in his eyes, but he quickly smooths this over and affixes a look of polite interest on his face. “Can I help you?”
“Are you on Grindr?” Andrew asks. Bluntly.
“Uh,” the guy says, looking more confused. “I don’t know. What is it?”
“It’s a hookup app gay men use.”
“Oh,” he says, frowning. “No, I’m definitely not on that.”
“Because you don’t do gay men?”
The guy shrugs. “Because I don’t do hookups.”
cocoa dust by djhedy (Coffeshop!AU)
Neil had seen the guy around campus a few times. It was hard not to. The exy team stood out. Or those three did, anyway. The twins with their shock-white blond hair and perpetual resting bastard face, and Kevin Day, the number 2 arrogantly tattooed on a high cheekbone, flanked as usual by at least one of the twins.
And Neil knew their reputation. It’s why he stayed away.
-or, neil gets a new job at the coffee shop opposite campus and guess which asshole is a regular
The Calculus of Nocturnes by fuzzballsheltiepants (Teacher!Andreil)
Neil Josten is a high school math teacher with a secret obsession: the classical piano he hears music teacher Andrew Minyard playing every afternoon. Eventually his secret is found out, and his world begins to open up.
Raised on Little Light by maqicien (Wymack adopted Neil)
Wymack’s voice trails off, words stuttering to an abrupt stop. All heads turn, slowly following the path of Wymack’s gaze.
Andrew spots him almost immediately - hair as black as night, curls gentle and full atop his head. He’s got a bruise the size of a baseball around his eye, freckles spattered out around it like an explosion of stardust. His eyes are the colour of the sky, cresting with storm clouds.
His hands are in his pockets as he walks by, fisted around something. He doesn’t look at any of them as he passes, eyes downcast.
Andrew’s never seen him before.
“What the hell happened to your face, Neil?” Wymack shouts, voice startling in the aftermath of silence. Neil doesn’t stop, plundering by the team and their coach without a second-glance.
In which Wymack adopts Neil at the age of 13, after the world has already chewed him up and spit him back out a few times over.
The Foxes are still the Foxes, and Neil and Andrew are still destined to find each other.
Touch me, love me, leave me by BakaDoll (Military!Andrew)
No one ever told Neil there was a second Minyard who was a soldier for the U.S. Army, and suddenly he was stuck with him in his dorm during Thanksgiving holidays.
But sometimes first expressions can be wrong, and what Neil expected to be the worst week of his year might turn out completely different than anticipated.
buried by bazookajo94 (Highschool!AU)
“Follow us again and I’ll kill you.” The kid’s eyes looked dead when he said this. He had a real threat in his voice.
Neil was real pissed off. “Get in line,” he snapped.
And We'll Be Running by allyasavedtheday (Band!AU)
It had been six months ago when Kevin called him, sounding drunk off his ass and on the verge of a breakdown, begging Neil for help. Andrew Minyard, guitarist for The Monsters, had been assaulted by his old foster brother and it finally convinced the courts to take him off the mood altering medication he’d been taking since almost two years prior after an incident where he’d defended his cousin from a bunch of homophobic assholes outside a club.
At the time, he’d had nothing else going for him so he said yes. It was just meant to be something to do for a few months. Now, well, he doesn’t really want to leave.
boy next door by foodforworms (Neighbors!AU)
“I’m Neil,” he says next, undeterred by Andrew’s prior lack of responses. Neil pauses a few seconds and evidently must come to the albeit correct conclusion that Andrew will not reply unless prompted to and continues with “and you are?”
“Not friendly,” Andrew replies. He takes the very last drag of his cigarette and puts it out on the windowsill before tossing it in the small trash can he keeps in the corner for the explicit purpose of throwing away empty cigarette cartons and butts.
...
“No,” Neil agrees, smirking and looking down as if this is some sort of private joke Andrew let him in on. He watches Neil cough out a little laugh, and feels something akin to hatred bloom in his chest again. Neil looks back up at him, and his smile widens. “Neighborly, then.”
_____________
Neil moves into the apartment next to Andrew's.
Smokescreen by bazookajo94 (Muse!AU???) [#4]
Andrew had exactly one picture in his wallet: it was black and white, a man sprawled on his knees, shirtless and mottled with scars, arms limp at his sides. He was wearing a tutu—must have been pink, because it looked a soft gray—and he had calf-high tube socks paired with it, no shoes. His right hand lightly held a cigarette, the ember bright in the black and white tones, and the man was staring straight at the camera with heavy-lidded eyes and his head slightly tilted back while he let the smoke seep out of his mouth. The smoke was thick and obscured most of his face, but Andrew could still see the scars on his cheeks, the contours of his lips, the cut of his jaw.
waiting up for better things by fuzzballsheltiepants (Guitar Player!Andrew)
Neil Josten has an actual life. A job. An apartment. A cat. Friends. A legal passport with his legal name. He entertains himself by casually stalking a singer at a local coffee shop. It’s comfortable. Safe. Something he never thought he’d have.
It doesn’t feel real.
A decade ago, Abram found a boy with a guitar on a high school rooftop. And now he would do anything to feel that real again.
Inspired by ‘Safe’ by All Time Low.
skin deep affection by mitigates (Speed Dating!AU)
He heard a question from his new companion before he could focus his attention on the man across from him. “Top 3 ways to dispose of a body. Go.”
His expression was blank while his question was curious.
Neil stared at him for at least 37 seconds of their time together before answering. “Acid. Fire. Pigs.”
in another life by bazookajo94 (Accidental Pen Pal!AU)
Dear Andrew Doe,
I am not picking one of the pen pals that’s in California or whatever. I am going to write a fake name and a fake address and send this letter to a fake person. The teacher won’t let me leave until I send this to someone.
Bye
Alex
*
Neil Josten sent fake letters to Andrew Doe for years, thinking they disappeared into the void.
Andrew Minyard received every single one.
Armies by nekojita (Mafia!AU) [#1]
Upon Mary Hatford's death, Nathaniel Wesninski makes the call to his uncle Stuart rather than continuing on the run and ending up in Milport, Nevada.
Upon graduating university, Andrew Minyard turns down all offers of a professional Exy career and muddles through a 'normal' life, until the boredom and inanity of it all wears him down and he accepts an offer of a break to spend some time with his cousin Nicky in Stuttgart, Germany.
There he meets Abram Hatford, a handsome and broken young man who has more in common with Andrew than he suspects, and nothing's normal anymore.
If You Love Me, Come Clean by sundowne (Exchange Student!AU)
Neil is an exchange student that intends on keeping to himself. The Foxes are quick to ruin his plans.
at least we were electrified by likearecord (Actor!Neil) [#2]
Child actor made good and America's boy-next-door meets professional Exy's favorite love-to-hate-him bad boy. His reputation has never been worse.
Merry Mixtape to loveroulettes, whose song was so perfectly Andrew & Neil. I hope you enjoy!
Delicate
Taylor Swift
This ain't for the best
my reputation's never been worse, so
you must like me for me.
Ripple Effect by Watergaw for AgentCoop (Canon Divergence)
A car crash in Columbia leads to an earlier meeting for Neil and the cousins.
we were together (series of 3) by bazookajo94 (Canon Divergence)
Andrew and Neil meet at Easthaven. Everything is very soft and kind of sad.
Tastes Like Gold by pandaseek (Translator!Neil)
“Do tell him that we have enjoyed watching his team’s success in the American league, perhaps if he had joined Day’s team, he would have won the championship.”
The translator’s lips twitched at the comment. “Petra wants you to know how much they have enjoyed watching your team’s success in the American leagues.”
Andrew waits for the rest of the comment to follow. The translator seems set on editing, unfortunately. “Are they paying you well to play diplomat?”
The comment is out before he can stop it. It seems to take the translator by surprise and his mouth twitches into a barely contained grin.
“A certain amount of discretion is expected to keep international relations happy, yes.”
Andrew is intrigued by his honesty. “Tell them that Day would pitch a fit if he knew they found time to watch another countries Exy team. If you have time to watch than you have time to practice, after all.”
He translates perfectly with a smirk at being called out. Andrew watches him closely. If asked, he would say that this man posed a threat. In reality, he enjoyed the way he hadn’t backed down when being caught out.
“Why am I here if you speak the language?” The translator asks in English.
The Gaslights Burn Brightly by This_Witch_Writes (Met in Baltimore!AU)
Andrew Doe ends up in the foster system in Baltimore after one of his early foster parents moves house. He makes friends with Nat in elementary school but his friend disappears the day before Andrew's 12th birthday. When Nathan Wesninski puts the word out that he never had a son, no one in his domain is willing to cross him, so the adult in Andrew's life try to convince him that he made Nat up. When that doesn't work he's relocated back to California and the Spears.
Neil Josten has spent 8 years thinking about the one person in his life that cared about him without needing to hurt him and then he runs into a locker room and Andrew Minyard hits him with an exy racquet.
wreck my plans by Willow_bird (College!AU)
Grad school was enough of a bitch without the trouble of feelings getting involved. When Andrew realizes that he has unwittingly fallen for one of his best friends he... panics a little bit. After all, it would be one thing if there was even a chance of Neil reciprocating. But that was impossible because Neil was obviously in love with Kevin.
...wasn't he?
--
In which Andrew Minyard eats his feelings and Neil Josten likes to cook.
he's a nightmare by likearecord (camp!AU)
“Watch out for Minyard,” eight separate people tell Neil on his first day. “He’s a nightmare.”
Inspired by Halsey | Nightmare.
april showers, april snow storms by ephemeralsky (soulmate!AU airport edition)
“Do you believe in fate, Neil?” Andrew asks, blasé.
“Not really, no,” Neil answers gamely, even though Andrew had asked something very similar at the cafe.
“Luck, then.”
“Only the bad sort.”
“And yet you do not cease to ruminate over the notion of soulmates.”
“Has anybody ever told you that you speak like someone from a different time period altogether?” Neil deflects.
(or: Andrew and Neil are soulmates who are stranded at an airport during a snow storm)
prophetic (series of 2) by Ominous (childhood friends!AU)
At five years old, Neil is sure he's going to marry his best friend Andrew one day.
At seventeen years old, he's still sure.
Finders keepers by honeyyghostt (childhood friends!AU)
"Finders keepers" Andrew said slowly, turning his head to glare at Neil's siblings "losers weepers"
.................
Neil keeps getting lost and Andrew keeps finding him.
THEY TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER YOUR HONOR
say something by Willow_bird
With his free hand, Andrew pulled out his phone and looked again at the message Neil had sent him about it.
talking is hard today.
Not 'I don’t want to talk' or 'I have nothing to say' but 'talking is hard'.
***
On a bad day, Neil struggles with his own mental state, and Andrew figures out how to be there for him. As they wade through this together, both young men realize its okay to lean on each other and that they are capable of both reaching out as well as hanging on. Also, Betsy has shipped them from the beginning, let's be completely honest here.
i’m gonna find my ghost that’s lost in outer space by cyanica
"You know me,” Andrew says. “Do you know you, Neil?”
Neil blinks at him, empty. He doesn’t recognise his name.
“I…” Neil falters a moment, breaking his gaze, and looking down at his own body like he expects to find something else. He checks his own pulse, two fingers to the side of his wrist. Neil looks up at Andrew after a few seconds of murmuring numbers, not quite frowning but almost. “I feel gone,” he says. “Is my – am I here?”
Or Neil has a dissociative episode, and Andrew contemplates the terrifying ordeal of memory and being known and not. He also brings Neil back. That too.
lost in the process (out at sea) by cake_lovin_ace
Andrew's trauma is triggered during a grocery run in Columbia, but Neil's got his back.
The Drowning by minyardlovebot
He had felt it throughout the entire day – during practice, while on his classes, at the dorms. It was as if there was an itch inside of him that he couldn’t scratch. The wound was open and infected.
He wanted– something. He needed it and he craved it and he didn't know what it was, and it was maddening. He was going mad.
I hate you by All_for_the_andreil
Andrew is in the hospital, drowsy from pain meds and the upperclassmen decide it’s a good idea to interrogate him about his relationship with Neil. They are surprised to learn Andrew “hates” Neil.
A Quiet Night by kccastner
Neil is a nurse in Denver North Hospital's ER. Andrew is a pro Exy player on the Denver Sharks. They meet when Andrew is injured during a game, and the rest is history.
Overcome by czenzo
“Neil.”
If the tone of his voice wasn’t already alarming, the way he stared at King certainly was. Sir was curled up on Andrew’s left, head resting on his thigh. King lay on his other side, stretched out as if to wake her sleeping limbs, but was unnervingly still. Her little face winced in clear discomfort, and her breathing was erratic.
Neil kneeled by their bed. “Something isn’t right.”
King falls ill and needs urgent treatment. The stress takes its toll on Andrew, but Neil is there to hold him up.
The grass between us (the mud under our feet) by unojonex
Mistakes equate death, every step is meticulous. The soft squish of mud could be the squish of a knife between his ribs. Sharp, sharp, sharp, soft. Squish. Splat. Like a child jumps in mud, Neil avoids being witnessed. His existence can only be proven through the patted-down blades of grass under his shoes and the whispers of the cats in back alleyways.
--
or neil is very meticulous and never steps in mud, and andrew shows him how to exist.
Not a Monster, Just a Human by ms_masago
The upperclassmen make plans for Christmas and conveniently leave Andrew out of it. That doesn't sit well with Neil, and by god everyone is going to know it.
Will you love me for who I am, not for who I was? by something_boring
Neil is sick on New Year's eve, wakes up to the fireworks, and continues to have a panic attack about his time on the run.
There Now, Steady Love by jingerhead
All it had taken was a broken strap, a helmet flying loose, and a rough push. That was all it took for Neil to feel like his entire life was taken away from him. He could barely remember that one of the things Andrew told him after he’d woken up, caught in a panic because he couldn’t see, was that his uncle had pulled through somehow and he didn’t have to worry. That things were taken care of, and they’d figure it out, together. But Neil’s world still came crashing down piece by piece.
He could never play again.
~*~
Due to a sudden head injury, Neil ends up blind and can't play the sport he's built his life around. Andrew teaches him how to again.
side effects may vary by willadisastercry
A hurricane traveling up the coast from Florida is set to touch down in Palmetto, a problem no one predicted would incur anything other than storm damages. But the foxes learn the hard way that hurricanes fuck with barometric pressure, which fucks with scar tissue, something Neil happens to have a lot of.
So when he wakes up in excruciating pain, convinced that the past seven months after Baltimore weren’t real, he does the one thing he’d promised not to do anymore…
He runs.
Andrew isn’t far behind of course, but Neil is firm in his belief that he never actually left the car with Lola. There’s also a flash flood advisory to worry about, and he very much tore out of Fox Tower in nothing but a t-shirt and boxer shorts during a literal tropical storm.
or
Neil has a dissociative episode that sends him running and Andrew does a lot of feeling over it, begrudgingly, but still.
Neil Fights the Foxes by This_Witch_Writes
Neil Josten had a big mouth, this was one of the first true things that had ever been known about him. Neil picked fights with reporters, cops, mobsters, opposing players, opposing coaches, his own coach and his own teammates alike. He also knew that for all Andrew complained about him being a trouble magnet, he quite liked it when Neil got mouthy. With one exception. Andrew didn’t like when Neil got into fights on his behalf.
-
Times that Neil got into fights and arguments on Andrew's behalf.
Tell Me Where To Touch You by Fortheloveofexy
“Shirt on or off?” Neil asks, settling on his knees by Andrew’s side.
Andrew cocks his head questioningly, “Can you even massage me with my shirt on?”
“I can,” Neil says easily, “But it probably won’t be as effective or feel as good. Whatever you’re comfortable with is fine though. I’ll make it work.”
Beware Becoming My Partner in Madness by Justthislazy [#5]
"Some nights they can’t smile at one another right away when things go wrong but they always manage to forgive the mistakes, missteps, slip-ups, resurrections, and accidents."
This a follow-up on some of the moments that come after I'll Take Care Of You both the good and the bad.
(Very much a sequel to the previous work so please read that first.)
THEY FUCK EACH OTHER YOUR HONOR
louder than bombs (i break) by mitigates
A 5+1 of Andrew learning Neil’s five spots he liked to be touched in bed and the one spot he needed to be touched outside of bed.
Beautiful by WhenInDoubtSleep
Neil hates that no one has ever tried to make Andrew feel beautiful.
“I want to try something new,” he says, and this clearly gets Andrew’s attention. His eyes narrow just barely, and Neil traces his cheekbone with his thumb.
“Oh?” is all Andrew says in reply, and Neil nods, more sure of himself.
“I want to touch you,” Neil says, and Andrew’s eyebrows knit together. He pinches Neil’s hip.
“That’s not new,” Andrew says, and Neil just shakes his head, peppering Andrew’s jaw with quick pecks.
"No, I want to touch you. All of you. Everywhere.”
attitude problems by greywarenlynch
After one too many condescending rhetorical questions, Andrew finds a solution, a way for Neil to atone. He grabs Neil by the collar of the shirt, tugs him close, and says, “Talk to me like that again and I won’t suck you off for a week.”
Neil can’t believe that shuts him up.
hold on by starwarned
Andrew's bed in Columbia has a headboard.
Need You Now by NikNak22
Neil usually approaches sex as a fun activity - like a day at the amusement park. Exciting when he goes but not necessary to his survival. In fact, most of the time, he's able to get by without it. Until today, that is.
Today, Neil needs Andrew in a way he's never really felt before. It's intoxicating and overwhelming...both excruciating and exhilarating. He absolutely needs Andrew to touch him - craves it with every fiber of his being. But he also knows it goes against every rule they've ever built for this thing between them. He could be jeopardizing everything - but Neil can't wait any longer.
If he asks, will Andrew push him away? Or will he give Neil exactly what he desires?
THEY TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER AND FUCK EACH OTHER YOUR HONOR!!!
Muscle Memory by elesary
Andrew wakes in the hospital, years after the last thing he remembers, with nothing but a handful of out of date promises and a wrecked car. He is purposeless, adrift, unable to find solid ground.
Except in the blue, blue eyes of the scarred stranger at his bed side.
Did Someone Say Fantasy AU????
Andrew Minyard and the Intricacies of Faerie Wooing by carminesunset (Fae!AU)
In which everyone but Andrew realizes that he's been wooing the cute faerie from the other side of the forest.
For the 2020 Reverse Big Bang.
monster (under my bed) by scribbleb_red (Demon!Neil)
"If you sleep with your hand dangling at the side of your bed, the monster under it will hold it while you sleep."
Based on the original Morning AU, in which Andrew Minyard has a monster living under his bed, and the monster's name is Neil.
Into The Woods (series of 7) by Ominous (Werewolf!Andrew) [#3]
"No, you're not real," he says, and he thinks he repeats it a few times, trying to convince himself it's all one bad dream. Whatever is stalking him stops, but Neil can still feel its aura, its power. The presence it has is gargantuan, a wall Neil has no hope of getting past. Just like his father in front of him. At the thought, at the ghost of hands on him, Neil screams. "You're gone!"
And he opens his eyes just as the lightning strikes. It bathes the forest in a bluish glow for half a second, but it's enough for Neil to see.
It's not his father, it's—
The dog in front of him boofs softly, and Neil's eyes widen.
anywhere. everywhere. by moonix (Demon!Andrew)
In a moment of desperation, Neil summons a demon to protect him from his father - and gets a little more than he bargained for.
Auburn Wings and Golden Dreams by doodlingstuff (Angel! Neil)
Nathaniel died at the hands of his father when he was ten.
The boy had two choices: go to heaven or return as an angel to take care of another kid, suffering the abuse of his adoptive father.
After years of failing to Andrew, an almost fatal incident makes Nathaniel be seen by his boy.
Having Andrew's company will make Nathaniel feel alive for the first time in his existence and make him wish to be human again.
Will Nathaniel get the miracle he desperately wants, or will he be stuck forever between his auburn wings and golden dreams?
THE MOTHERFUCKING GAUNTLET
Blame It on My Youth by youreyestheyglow (1 million+ words) [#Honorable Mention - for the culture]
10 years after the end of The King's Men, Andrew and Neil have decided to foster a kid. They have low expectations for themselves--they're not exactly ideal parenting material--but at the very least, the kid will be safe with them. But neither Andrew nor Neil do temporary very well.
Full disclosure: highly character-driven, minimally plot-driven.
https://www.tumblr.com/0xide has permission to translate this work on ficbook:
https://ficbook.net/readfic/13529978
TW: If you suffer from paranoia, this is probably not the fic for you. Specifically, Neil has bunches of paranoia regarding being watched, and also being murdered. If you have questions/concerns or if you're a reader who has a better idea of how to word this/what other people would need to know, feel free to comment or message me on tumblr @yourficstheyglow.
Bonus: Not (specifically/exclusively) Andreil
Twinyards For The Winyards
Inevitability by Aquared46
Andrew and Aaron go shopping for nicotine patches.
Can he play? by All_for_the_andreil
Andrew finds Aaron in his dorm, doing something on his laptop. He looks up at Andrew without the slightest hint of interest. “What?”
“Neil’s sick.”
Aaron’s expression doesn’t change. “Sucks to be him, I guess.”
—
Neil gets sick and Andrew isn’t sure what’s wrong with him. But his pre-med twin could help, right?
Prove your love by bazookajo94
To boost office morale, Andrew and Aaron’s company puts together a week-long Valentine’s Day event, complete with increasingly embarrassing activities that must be completed as a pair. The winners get two free vacation days.
Andrew picks some random man off the street. Aaron asks his long-time work crush and lunch buddy.
Guess which couple wins.
an unconventional crossing by Ominous
Aaron likes to believe he and Andrew have a lot more practice navigating their conversations now. And he’s right, mostly. But sometimes, challenges arise at the strangest times, and especially when their significant others are concerned.
In which Andrew and Aaron run into each other at the grocery store, and choose not to part ways.
Give Kevin Some Boyfriends Or Else
held me down and sewed your lips to mine by memeyoozi (vernonsgf)
“Oh, what a coincidence, the first game of the season where he’s on the bench for most of your goals and he’s shamelessly handsy on the bus ride home.”
Shakily, Kevin said, “That has nothing to do with me.”
“Are you going to screw him or do I have to tell him to get over it?” Andrew asked.
Kevin would deny living a codependent existence with his two best friends. He would deny being friends with them in the first place to most people who asked. He would not deny being in love with them. He respects them too much for that.
cross the patron saint of switchblade fights by memeyoozi (vernonsgf)
“I could hug you.” It escaped before Kevin could stop it, wavering in the air between them, an awkward offer, vying for a kind of comfort and closeness that neither of them had known before.
Neil snorted in the face of Kevin’s sincerity and it made Kevin want to strangle him. “You’re probably as bad at it as I am.”
He couldn’t take the out even if he wanted to. The look in Neil’s eyes said that he needed this as badly as Kevin did, and Kevin was finding it harder every day to deny Neil anything. “Then there’s no room for judgement.”
Neil is touch starved. Touch starved is an emotion that Kevin is familiar with. Even if he won't admit it.
Or, Kevin and Neil become cuddle buddies and it's only a little bit disastrous.
a brick to the stomach; a bullet between the eyes by fluorescencx
It started out rocky: Kevin was kind to Neil, Andrew threatened to cut his finger off, and Neil was helplessly fascinated by them both in equal measure.
it takes three, you and him and me by orphan_account
Nicky asks, “are you…I mean, what’s happening, Andrew? Are you okay? Because Kevin and Neil were just-”
“I know,” Andrew cuts him off. The flat, bored intonation of his voice makes it inexplicably funnier when he adds, “I have unfortunately saddled myself with two idiots who cannot keep it in their pants for more than five minutes at a time”
“Well,” Kevin huffs, indignant. “You don’t usually have any complaints”
My favourite trope in the world is overpowered main characters who think they aren't that great at whatever they're doing and they're just scraping by, meanwhile they're the devil incarnate from everyone else's pov
I'm too lazy to write a fic, but this hypothetical has been haunting me since I first read through aftg, and I haven't seen much discussion surrounding it: What if Andrew hadn't been able to save Neil from Riko's racquet at the end of TKM? Here are my thoughts (a few of these are kind of graphic so be warned):
First of all, Andrew wouldn't kill Riko.
Andrew would hear the crack of Neil's skull just as Andrew's racquet connects with Riko's arm; he still shatters the bone. He immediately turns around and drops to his knees.
Neil is beyond saving and Andrew knows this at a glance, even as he clutches the front of Neil's jersey and searches for a sign that he could be wrong. But there's a sizable dent in Neil's temple, half of his face is covered in blood, and his eyes are vacant and unseeing. His chest rattles with the wet, fading breaths of the dying. There is no sign that he recognizes the desperate goalkeeper at his side.
He stops breathing within seconds, and Andrew's world is swallowed whole.
Anybody would assume that Andrew is the type of man to do something, Andrew included. But instead of lashing out, instead of picking up his racquet to exact revenge on Riko, instead of begging for Neil to stay, Andrew just goes numb. He doesn't move--can't move-- from his spot. He stares and stares and stares, and some part of him knows that things are happening and that there are people surrounding them, but there's a spike of pain splitting his chest open, and it hurts so badly that he can barely breathe.
At some point he might say "Neil", or "Abram", or he might shake the bloodied jersey a little bit, but Andrew knows that there is no coming back from this.
The rest of the Foxes have mixed reactions. Aaron will later regret that he couldn't do more for his brother, but he sees a racquet hit a man's skull and remembers what it's like to deliver that kind of blow. He pukes on the court floor and walks away.
After Andrew, Dan is the next person to make it to Neil's side. She's sobbing and frantic, but she has the good sense not to reach for Neil.
Allison, Renee, Matt, and Nicky are stopped by refs before they can get to Neil. Allison is yelling and Renee almost fights them, but she sees Andrew and forces herself to stay put, holding onto Allison instead. Matt manages to get around and goes to Dan anyway.
Nicky, surprisingly, resists the hardest. He's horrified and heartbroken, but more than anything he needs to get to Andrew. The same instinct that drove him to leave Germany all of those years ago, the sense that he might lose this little corner of his family without intervention, is what drives him now. But Renee is eventually able to persuade him to find Aaron.
Wymack and Abby are able to make it to Neil's side without any disruptions, and Abby wishes that she could be stupid enough to try CPR. She reaches for Neil's forehead, intending to wipe the blood away, but Wymack asks her to get Dan and Matt off of the court. Wymack stays with Andrew when Abby does as he says, he stays when Andrew doesn't acknowledge his presence, and he stays when the paramedics arrive, when they take one look at Neil and move on to helping Riko. Wymack stays when the police come to inspect what is now a murder scene. Andrew tries to hit him when Wymack has to pry the goalkeeper's fingers from Neil's jersey, but Wymack doesn't flinch. He drags Andrew away until Andrew snaps out of it long enough to walk on his own.
Wymack finds a private office near the locker rooms and gets a vague assurance that Andrew won't wander before he leaves to find the rest of the team. He arranges for Betsy to have access to the area. She finds Andrew in the office less than five minutes later, and they sit together without a word between them.
Kevin had also tried to get to Neil. He almost made it, but then he heard Riko laughing, half-delrious with pain, and had to be dragged away from the former King of Exy. Like Aaron, he later regrets that he didn't think to help Andrew.
Riko is still killed by Ichirou.
Andrew eventually has to rejoin the team, and until now he had been able to keep the numbness at bay. But it's here that it hits him again. He gets onto the bus and knows that Aaron is watching him; Aaron wouldn't know to be concerned if it hadn't been for Neil and his meddling. He sees the shadows underneath his teammates' eyes and the anger in Kevin's; Kevin wouldn’t be angry if Neil hadn't shown him that it was possible.
Andrew sits alone at the back of the bus. Neil made too much of a mark for Andrew to pretend that he was a hallucination, and he hadn't done enough to give Andrew other people to rely on in his absence.
From here, things slide back into an awful imitation of normalcy. Kevin and Jean are still free (with the stipulations of payment to Ichirou), Jean still finds refuge with the Trojans, and the Foxes are still champions. Aaron still goes to therapy, but the joint sessions were Neil's doing, and Andrew hates that reminder. Aaron keeps going anyway, and Andrew doesn't stop him.
Wymack is the first to realize that Andrew blames himself. He tries to confront him about it, but the conversation does not go well. Andrew will never forgive Neil for dying, and he will never forgive himself for not being able to stop it.
that is why andrew after his last game at palmetto didn’t know how to react
for the last match of the season all the upperclassmen went to watch the game and at the end after the foxes fourth consecutive, and for andrew last, victory they all rushed onto the field to celebrate
after the usual shaking hands with the opposite team, some celebration with the crowd and an unusual refusal from neil to do press duties, they all file back in the changing room to get ready for their night in columbia
at that moment they had already finished the game a good hour ago, they were all showered and ready but still in the stadium because neil still had to get out of the locker room
but since neil abram josten is famous for his fast plays, his smart mouth and a fucking gigantic red target on his back that says ‘hurt me’, and the last time he took too long to get ready he actually received a phone call informing him he was about to get kidnapped, andrew felt the urge to go check on him
it didn’t take long for andrew to notice no one in sight, it took him even less to hear the muffled sobs coming from the showers
and that was unexpected
they would have known if there was someone else other than neil in the changing room since they were waiting right outside the only existing entrance
so he quickly ruled out the option of neil being attacked
the only other option was that he got seriously hurt during the game and that for some absurd reason andrew didn’t notice, so when said that andrew bolted toward the sound it was not an understatement
he was there, fully clothed and washed, crunched on the floor, hands covering his face and at the same time trying to muffle the sounds
there was no blood in sight, which made andrew tick the first point off of his mental list
he called neils name to let him know he was there, since he gave no sign of noticing, and quickly crouched on the ground in front of him, hands trying to unfold all of neil’s limbs to tick all the other points, no blood, no bruises, no articulation twisted in opposite direction and no sign of pain when his hands grabbed
neil was a little taken aback by the sudden presence of somebody else, but quickly recovered when noticing what andrew was looking for
‘i’m fine’ the murderous glace andrew shot him made him elaborate further on his condition ‘i’m not hurt’
regardless andrew finished his inspection, he lied no trust in this man when talking about his well being
being satisfied with finding nothing he finally raised his eyes to meet neil’s stare, the ‘what’s going on’ was implied
‘I-‘ neil lost his words, he was not used to all this display of emotions, and the irrational reasoning behind it ‘I don’t want it to end’
all andrew could manage was a sigh, all the retorts about his exy hyperfixation dying in his throat. he didn’t need neil to further explain, if the end of university almost affected andrew, he could only imagine how hard it must have been on neil. he was the youngest of the original foxes, and although the new foxes were alright, the bond that the original nine had was incomparable
the foxes were neil’s first, and only, family, he agreed to die, instead of running away just to keep playing with them
andrews thumb gently brushed neil’s cheek to get all the tears streaming down, which apparently just had the least desired effect, because it just made neil cry harder
andrew gently grabbed neil’s neck and pulled his face in the crook of his neck, neil was not late to grip his arms around andrew
Back on my "the monsters and social media if aftg was set in the present day" bullshit
Yes I have an exam tomorrow, we're ignoring that
Kevin maintains a professional twitter and instagram profile. He keeps the apps on his phone logged out and has to sign in each time he posts and then immediately signs back out. He has no interest in knowing what's going on over there, he was very upset when ig switched to the rectangle shapes and started doing the reels thing. He has a personal Facebook and the notifs are On
Aaron has only WhatsApp for a very long time. Initially he was a vine and MySpace kid but both those died. I imagine he went through various other blog forums and posted shit photos and shitter poetry but idk what you lot were using in ye oldy times. He briefly used tiktok when it was musical.ly but it scared him and he refused to go back. He has a tumblr account but refuses to download the app and only uses it on the Web version. Katelyn forcefully created a Snapchat for him so he could be added to various groupchats for their classes, he keeps it on mute.
Nicky, I think, has a healthy relationship with his screen time. He has accounts for the majority of social medias he just doesnt doomscroll constantly unless hes really in yhe feels. He understands the references ppl make but will sometimes butcher them on purpose because the reactions bring him such joy
Andrew is iPad kid extraordinaire. He knows every single peace of obscure Internet lore and he will whip it out to prove he knows more about your stupid dumb references than you do. He can hold a conversation in almost entirely brain rot terms
Neil has zero social medias on his phone at all. It's literally just the text app and the internet app which is always on incognito. He deletes every other app that came preinstalled that it let's you delete. He does start to enjoy taking and keeping photos of his team
I just saw a post wondering what Andrew and Neil’s first proper argument is, and naturally I have to offer this:
Andrew and Neil don’t fight. They’ll ignore each other if they’re pissed off - but never for more than a few hours, or maybe until one of them has slept it off and decide it’s not worth it (usually Andrew). They’ll have tiffs but never over anything serious.
Except for in the months coming up to Andrew’s graduation. That is when I believe Andrew and Neil have their first real argument.
Andrew gets officially signed to his pro team around abouts the February of that year. It’s in a state further away that Neil expected, and since they found out, Neil keeps catching Andrew looking at apartments or researching the state and the team. He’s happy for him, of course he is, but he can’t quite identify what this feeling in his stomach is every time Andrew brings it up. The little fights that last longer than their usually bickering start not long after; Neil getting more pissed off by the little things Andrew does, Andrew having off-days with Neil more and more often, each of them asking for their own space because they know if they stay around each other they’re going to start a fight. It’s gradual in a way that they don’t realise for a little while that it’s getting worse, until just after the championship finals, and the season is officially over, when three days have passed without them talking for not much of a reason at all. Neil used his finals as an excuse, but Andrew didn’t have any good reason. After those three days, they’re finally alone in their dorm for whatever reason, and maybe Andrew has started packing or he’s just got some sort of welcome package from the team: everything explodes. Andrew tries to kiss Neil, and something feels wrong, and when Neil asks what the fuck is going on, all hell breaks loose.
Andrew doesn’t yell, of course he doesn’t, but he’s venomous. He’s asking Neil why he’s acting as if the world is going to end just because he’s graduating, he’s angry at him for becoming so dependent on his presence, he’s angry at himself for feeling like he’s found a future in Neil when this was never the plan. He was supposed to be nothing. A casual fuck, with an end date and no feelings but fuck if he can’t live his life without him now. Neil yells, because he does, and he’s angry that Andrew still seems so unsure about what they are, how comfortable they were, but suddenly things are different, and it feels like he doesn’t care. He’s angry at himself for building his life around Andrew, but he’s the only reason why Neil Josten exists. Andrew reminds him of that, and it makes everything worse.
It goes on for far too long, quickly becoming meaningless and just an excuse for either of them to vent out the frustration they’ve been keeping inside for months.
“You know that I won’t overstep your boundaries,” Neil points a finger at him. “So in your head it’s okay to treat me like shit and ignore me because you know that I will give you that space.”
He doesn’t even really think that, but every little thing, every little excuse is multiplied by a thousand when he feels this red hot rage. He hates the things that come out of his mouth, but Andrew gives it back, and his insistent refusal to back down just further butts their heads together and infuriates them both.
“I won’t chase after you because you’ve decided to allow me distance,” Andrew says, calm and ice cold. “You can’t invent boundaries for me and then be upset that they exist.”
Lows blows after low blows, unfair quips and insults from both sides, slamming of drawers and doors and throwing of things; they have never, ever fought like this before. It’s over everything and nothing at the same time. Andrew knew it was only a matter of time before campus security was called, but when he tried to tell Neil to calm down and lower his voice, it only made things worse.
They’ve been unkind and awful with each other for about an hour when Neil finds himself starting to get so furiously angry thats he’s upset, that he can feel himself being needlessly nasty with Andrew. For the first time ever he feels the tilt. He feels their foundations getting rocked, a crack in the base of the pyramid of their relationship that gives him the feeling that this might not last forever. He leaves their dorm with a slam of the door, and goes for a run. He hasn’t done that in a while, a run from his feelings, running from his problems and responsibilities. He’s not sure how long it’s been before he finds himself too far away from campus, because he just ran in a straight line.
When he checks his phone he realises he’s over an hour walk away from their dorms. He almost calls Matt, and hesitates over Coach’s phone number, but instead he clicks Andrew’s name. It’s only ringing for two rings before the ringing ends and there’s a quiet hiss at the other end of the line. Neil double checks that he’s answered, because Andrew hasn’t said anything, and brings the phone back to his ear.
“Can you come pick me up?” His breathing is heavy, all of his anger drained out through his feet with every single step that he took to get further away from their dorm.
“Where are you?” Andrew is quick to respond, and Neil can hear him already picking up his keys.
Neil tells him the name of some bar that he can see, and Andrew hangs up almost instantly afterwards. Neil starts to put his phone away, used to the abrupt endings of phone calls, but wishing he would say something more. He puts his phone away and wonders why Andrew can’t just give him something. He’s not looking for a Love you! Bye! But maybe just an answer that let him know he was listening. but then it starts to ring again, and it’s Andrew, and Neil doesn’t say anything when he answers.
“I’m leaving now,” Andrew says. There’s something in his voice. “I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”
“Okay,” Neil responds. “Thank you.”
Andrew hums in acknowledgment, but this time he doesn’t hang up immediately. He hesitates, but he’s somewhere outside now.
“I will always pick you up.” He says after a while, after he’s shut his car door and the engine has rumbled to life, and maybe it sounds like I love you, I care about you, I need you. Maybe it sounds like I need you to know that i can’t lose this.
“I know,” Neil says, and it sounds like I can’t do this without you. “Thank you.”
Andrew waits a second or two then before hanging up, and Neil waits for him by the curb. Andrew is there quicker than twenty minutes later. Neither of them say anything as Neil slips into the passenger seat, and neither of them say anything as they pull away. Neither of them say anything until Andrew has switched the engine off, and the car is sitting in its parking spot. They look at each other then, and maybe then they understand what’s happening.
“I’m not above telling you that I don’t want to leave here,” leave you. “But this was always a certainty. You’ve had plenty of time to prepare.”
“I thought that I had,” Neil tells him.
It’s the truth, in some way. He realises then that all of these little fights, and growing agitation, and this almost primal urge to push Andrew away was how he’d prepared. He’s been trying his hardest to soften the blow that it would have on him, and if he pushed him away first, then it wouldn’t hurt when he inevitably pushed him back or let him go. Only, that was never going to happen, and that’s what made it worse - nothing could happen to them now that would not bring them back to each other. So when Neil pushed and pushed and pushed and Andrew was constantly hitting a wall instead of a door, all they were doing was filling the room with resentment.
They sit in the car then and talk about the reality: Andrew was moving away in just a few weeks, moving further away than they’d ever been apart. The truth was that regardless of whether or not Neil decides to spend the summer with him, August would come, and Neil would go back to PSU, and Andrew would stay wherever it was that he was staying. They’d been fighting more in a subconscious test with each other, to see if one of them were going to give up, to see it this was the thing that would finally tear them apart. They talk about that, too, as difficult as it is for Andrew to be honest about that kind of thing. Neil asks him if he thinks it would be better for them to break up, to give each other space, to let Andrew flourish on his new team and meet new people and grow into himself as a professional exy player. It’s the first time either of them have acknowledged the possibility out loud with each other, and it destroys Neil to ask it, and it destroys Andrew to hear it.
Andrew thinks about how Exy was supposed to be the deal with Kevin: how he was supposed to come off his meds, and Kevin would give him purpose, and he would find something to live for in the sport that would not love him back. Instead he gave him Neil. That was his something to live for, and while he’d started to learn how to live for himself, and he would eventually survive without him, he didn’t want to. He couldn’t. He would sooner give it all up just to keep him, and Neil knew that was the truth.
Neil thinks about how Neil was supposed to be temporary. Now it was the future, it was Andrew, it was a long and successful life. Neil Josten did not have an expiry date anymore. He could have things that were his own, things to keep, things to live for.
They knew it wouldn’t be easy, but as the evening went on, and they stay in that car and talk about the future, they’d truly come to the understanding that neither of them can lose each other. They will always be half of one another, and no amount of distance can change that. It’s hard conversation after hard conversation, and it’s emotional in the way that Andrew and Neil get emotional. All the fighting ends up being a catalyst for possibly the most personal, deep, intimate discussion they’ve ever had. There’s lots of silences and voices that threaten to raise but stay low. There’s a lot of questions, and answers, and questions without answers, too. Buts it’s needed. Andrew could not leave PSU without them having this conversation. If he had, I think they would’ve struggled a whole lot more with the distance, and the conversations they would have afterwards would’ve been far more difficult.
Ultimately that’s where they end the conversation sometime past midnight - with a semi newfound understanding of where they stand with each other, what they are, what the future means for them. It’s a fight that needed to happen, and in their own ways they apologise for the things that they said. Maybe they don’t say sorry, they just say everything is going to be okay, and distance will not be the thing that ruins this.
I don’t know. I really do think it’s a fight that’s needs to happen. I think it’s a terrible, angry, nasty argument, and they both feel awful about the things they said and did, but it had to happen. Yeah, could it have been communicated with words? Sure. But Andrew had to understand how afraid Neil was of losing him, he had to understand what Neil was doing to protect himself from it. And Neil had to understand that Andrew was always, always willing to fight for him, but he couldn’t do that if Neil wasn’t willing to see that he would.
Andrew doesn't care about the name minyard. The only reason he took it in the first place is because that is his brother's name. Aaron also doesn't care about the name once he comes to terms with how his mother treated him. When aaron and katelyn get married, aaron talks to andrew about changing his name to katelyns last name and of course andrew says do what you want. Fast forward to the wedding. Andrews gets up to give the best man speech and he just holds up a piece of paper and says. My last name is also mackenzie now. And sits back down.
honestly i feel like a lot of fanfics have andrew still saying “i hate you” and “this is nothing” after the end of tkm but i don’t buy it. when andrew said “im not as smart as i thought i was” that was kind of it for him. there’s no coming back from that. “i almost didn’t survive last time” and then sliding neil’s hand over his scars??? like that’s an admission of love, baby. that’s the andrew minyard version of holding a boombox outside your window. how more clear can he be???
The thing about Neil's mistrust of Betsy is that unlike most fictional characters who dismiss psychologists, Neil doesn't write off her profession as quackery, nor does he consider himself well adjusted.
Neil knows he's fucked up. He knows his personality is paper thin, just another layer of papier mâché that he has spent his life trying to keep anyone from cracking open and seizing the calcified corpse of Nathaniel within.
Neil's existence hinges on total control over his own identity and being able to reinvent it on a dime. The idea that someone not only can, but in fact has made a professional career out of wresting that control away from him, cracking open the layers of paper and glue and not reaching for the center but making him look, is nothing short of a death sentence.
hc that someone develops a crush on neil and make their intentions of stealing him clear for Andrew. like they straight up turns at Andrew to say "he will be mine"
Andrew's answer is a bored tilt of his head with an unimpressed "try"
And not try as a threat, but as the cockiest challenge ever: try to hold Neil's attention for 5 minutes, try to ease his Andrew-obsession, try make Neil look away from Andrew when they are in the same room, try to make Neil stop taking a picture of every single thing that Andrew does because he will want to look at it later. try.
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