Kenopsia

[fuckyeahisawthat]

There is one particular ship dynamic that never fails to wreck me, and I’ll call it Soulmates, But Not Like That. Not in a “some higher power has decided that we are destined to be together” way, but something that is almost the opposite of that. It’s that character who has been alone for a long time, and has maybe convinced themselves that they will be alone forever, and who has a lot of barriers to intimacy with most of the people around them, for whatever the relevant narrative reasons are. And then they just happen to cross paths with this ONE FUCKING PERSON who works for them, through some very specific combination of personality and circumstance and life experience and mutually compatible damage. And there is always the shock of what are the fucking odds, and underneath everything the terror of what if this doesn’t last. what if there’s no one else. I would just go back to being alone. I don’t know if I could do that after knowing this. Because when you finally let down that wall of emotional self-sufficiency the thought of having to put it back up again is painful. And in real life I don’t at all believe that there is only One Designated Person for anyone, but in fiction I do tend to gravitate toward characters who believe themselves to be The Only One in some way, and I will always be emotionally compromised by that dawning sense of oh. You are like me.

[ishouldgetlobotomized]

when someone asks me what's wrong but i'd rather sit on my bathroom floor gasping for air than explain to them what's wrong

[petaltexturedskies]

Dearest Gilly, sometimes I feel there is a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear you can probably hear the ocean. There's a moon tonight with a circle around it. A sign of trouble not far behind. I have this dream of being whole, of not going to sleep wanting but still sometimes, when the wind is warm and the crickets sing... I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen. I don't know, maybe I've had my happiness. I don't want to believe it but...there is no man, Gilly. Only that moon.

Practical Magic (1998) dir. Griffin Dunne

[vollzeitherz-deactivated2026012]

there should be a word for when you’re not sad exactly just… carrying a small expired dream in your coat pocket and occasionally touching it to make sure it’s still there

[ruhaniya]

"for you, i would" is such a gentle and sweet love language like no maybe i wouldn't usually do this but i would love to do it if it would make you happy.

[exhaled-spirals]

“I have always believed it my right to have a locked door between me and the world, and to hold the key myself.”

— Mihail Sebastian, For Two Thousand Years

[noturvoid]

i’ve shut every door, each one heavier than the last. i've run until the weight of silence became all i knew. until i was drowning in the emptiness i'd condemned myself to. until the sound of the clicking lock was all i knew. and really, i thought it would be easier this way. safer. but now i roam the past in my own mind, searching in cracks where warmth used to linger, as if i might find something left behind, something i could have missed, something more than the cold embrace of my self inflicted isolation.

i am a coward in the face of emotion. fear runs through me at the thought of allowing the eyes of another to steal more than just a glance. to let the heart of another know me in the ways i’ve buried mine. to let another soul come so close that their filthy hands could trace the fractures of my own. i've learned its much easier to leave. walk out the door and lock it. its become a nasty habit i cant seem to shake. and the truth is, its easier to pretend none of it matters as the warmth i once craved slips further out of reach.

the world has become a barren wasteland to my eyes. so cold and still, painted in shades of gray. only the haunting quiet of a life that feels abandoned remains. out of reach and out of touch, i still wonder if anything beautiful could have come from all i've turned my back on.

- my heart still hates me for all i deprived it of.

[classycookiexo]

[inkskinned]

i know we’re both just messing around pretending to be whole but look at me. if the train was coming would you move. if the ground was falling from under your feet would you even notice or would it just be another tuesday for you. if somebody stabbed you could it hurt worse than you already do. what i’m saying is that i love you but i think we both drive over the speed limit when it’s raining. what i’m saying is that i want to hold your hand and i understand about how you sometimes have to sit down in the shower. what i’m saying is that i’m here for you and if the train comes please move.

[maladapt3d]

The moment you disappear from everything, just to hand them the perfect excuse for never reaching out, as if they ever did when you were still available..

[nightquotes]

If we were two sunflowers I would have faced you instead of the sun.

[matineaux-deactivated20260222]

kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc

[ariella-has-lost-her-mind]

here i brought you some flowers... they need sunshine so you were the obvious choice

[geryone]

It Lasts Forever and Then It's Over, Anne de Marcken

[thoughtcascades]

u ever feel like ur heart’s a house nobody visits?

[toldyouimthevillain]

I struggle to get close to people and I know it’s a me problem, I know I’m the toxic one. I know that under my armor it’s just poison that seeps out the cracks. Those who stay at arms length will most likely never get hurt (as long as they don’t stick around for too long) but those who start to get too close inevitably will. Anyone who tries to get close enough to help me patch the cracks will only end up getting seriously hurt by me. I’m sure everyone is different under their armor, everyone has different insides, but why is this what I got? I want to change it, I want to heal it. But I don’t know how. The only thing that seems to work, truly work, not just on healing the armor but also truly healing and changing the inside, is being loved by someone else, inside and out. What I need is someone who will grab me and pull me closer and hold on tightly to me when I’m hurting, but unfortunately my toxicity always harms them before I can heal enough for them to be able to stay… and that’s if anyone even tries to grab me and hold me close to them in the first place. I don’t want to hurt people. I don’t want to always be the villain.

[death-born-aphrodite]

we had gone searching for a longer summer; thinking that if we just kept driving we’d eventually catch the sun and this moment would never end. somewhere in the universe we’re still on that highway and you’re still singing along to my favorite song.