[al-gatone]

Pinned post

Also find me at: @alsciaucat-genshin (Genshin Impact)(mostly inactive) @commander-alsciaucat (Guild Wars 2) @alsciaucat-warframe (Warframe) @mycolocat (Mycology) @jan-akaton (Toki Pona)

Age: old enough to remember 9/11 + I no longer get carded at the liquor store

Gender: I barely know 'er (he/him)

[alexkablob]

fandom loves nothing more than to look at an interesting story and boldly ask the question: what if we made it boring instead?

[alexkablob]

I don't know why I have to clarify this but this post was not a laudatory one

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[linddzz]

gotta be a term that isn't the dunning Krueger effect but is a kind of similar idea where the more deep scientists get into their topic and the more exhausted they get, the more likely they are to find stupid ways to describe things

[linddzz]

this post brought to you by a bunch of coral specialists at the end of a workshop voting to define coral, a complex animal, as "a rock with problems"

[stitchposts]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Thinking about that Tumblr user whose prepper brother was put in an emergency situation and finally got to use his prepper basement only to be in dire straits on the first day because the power was out and his only can opener was electric

[yetanothertransgirl]

for anyone wondering, this is the thread (transcript below the cut):

the original on twitter seems to have been deleted, so this is a 3rd party site

so my eldest brother, who is a moron, has been playing soldier with his moron friends in the deserts of texas for the last year preparing for the collapse of civilization if biden won (lol). they were burying food and ammo stashes out in the desert, running drills, crazy stuff

this included getting a cb license so he could be their lifeline to other groups of white idiots when the cell towers all went offline. wouldn’t want to violate federal law while communicating with your resistance groups after the fall of the federal government i guess.

anyways, you would assume given that they’ve been prepping for the end of the world for at least a year they’re well situated to ride out the rolling blackouts right?

wellll

their plan for cooking and heating during an extended power outage was natural gas, but like a lot of homes their gas service is out. the food in their freezer and fridge is already toast due to the power outrages, so they’re down to canned stuff, but there’s a catch.

they can get into the pull top cans just fine, but the ones that require an opener? their only can opener is electric. so a good 3/4 of his canned food store is inaccessible to him unless he goes after it with a knife, which i sincerely hope he does.

so captain survival was eating unheated ravioli out of a can yesterday because i guess he doesn’t know how to start a fire? they have a fire pit but it too is gas fired.

he told my mom they’re probably going to break into the survival buckets soon. i’m sure that’s great food.

he told my mom that the blackout is due to texas switching everything to “wind power” but that he didn’t discount that the government was doing this on purpose. if you can figure out why they’d arbitrarily freeze out a giant state hey points to you.

the saving grace in all this is he’s having to ration his phone usage so he can’t sit on the phone with my mom for hours crying about it. he’s forced to sit there and talk to his wife, who is almost as dumb as he is.

presumably he’s sitting there shivering, ranting about libs while he sucks down cold beefaroni. what a life.

he’s tried contacting his best friend in his little larping group, but he’s gone to ground. i sincerely hope that means he thinks this is the start of the great purge or whatever and he’s disappeared to the mountains to evade fema and child support bailiffs

i’m trying to get more details from my mom but i have to play it cool. if i laugh she’ll stop telling me about it, so i have to pretend this is very serious and i’m concerned for his safety while i’m imagining him hitting a can of baked beans with a screwdriver repeatedly

on the plus side they’ve got plenty of guns and ammo, so they can shoot the shit out of the snow.

locking two people with marital strife in a house with no supplies, no access to power, but plenty of access to guns and ammo seems like a great idea. i think this should work out great.

just to give you all some additional comfort: his wife is part of the group who helps select the textbooks texas buys every year, just in case you’re wondering about the kind of people that make those decisions.

[paperandpencilsandskips]

[userfish]

[thatlavendergremlin]

Galaxies are yurinating...

[spotforme]

don't say it like that

[saltrat88]

[gray-firearms-deactivated201905]

I am fucking dying

[zakuro-san]

UNMUTE IT  P L E A S E

[drtanner]

Genuinely one of the best impressions I’ve ever heard, lmao. Fucking class.

[catsofyore]

Kitty just saying hi for, uh, no particular reason or ulterior motive at all. Photo from my collection no date/info.

[stylographic-blue-rhapsody]

“who is linkin park?” - one shot KO by my younger coworker

[stylographic-blue-rhapsody]

I am going to unfold all of your clean laundry and leave it in a pile on your bed

[shiftythrifting]

The "Jup"

It was a handmade piece from the 1980s based on the signature underneath.

jandmade

[hail-the-villainess]

There are many fun reasons to have a character avoid using guns, but I think "this otherwise-awesome fighter is a really terrible shot" is an underappreciated one. Yes, they're available in my setting and would work against my enemies. No, I don't have a moral code against them or a power that makes them redundant. I just can't aim for shit!

[hail-the-villainess]

In general IMO the more badass and hypercompetent a character is, the more they're enriched by having one skill they're just absolutely hopeless at. Terrible shot, terrible liar, terrible dancer, no poker face, no sense of direction, can't drive, can't swim, can't cook, can't read, always broke, always late, always falls for a certain trick...

[tatangadragon]

water sports should be for adults too.me and the blokes at university should be allowed to shoot eachother with water guns

[tatangadragon]

post cancelled I've been told the term i used already exists in english and that it means something Very Much Different. english is a wicked language that i regret learning

[zyzscribbles]

Important question

[homunculus-argument]

The important part of making horrible kitchen concotions is to give them properly horrid names. I have discovered a new dish: The Blended Devil.

It's like deviled eggs, but instead of taking the yolks out of the eggs, you just mash the entire boiled eggs into mush with a fork and mix the rest of the ingredients in there. Eaten from a bowl, with a fork or a spoon depending on the consistency. Or go at it labrador style with your face down in the bowl if you're like that. Not up to me.

[thenotme]

That already has a name. It's called egg salad T-T

[homunculus-argument]

How is a concotion of eggs, mayo, mustard, and seasonings to taste a salad? It contains zero leafy green or vegetable.

[what-even-is-thiss]

A salad can just be a chopped mix of things. That’s egg salad alright. I put it on sandwiches. You can also put pickle relish and/or chopped onion in it.

[homunculus-argument]

If we go by the definition that any chopped mess of random bullshit counts as a salad, then I guess I'm a salad.

[robotomia]

me

[ampervadasz]

[teaboot]

MY GOD

[absolutewifey]