Pretty damn smooth for a man of God

Rev. Ralph Birk ✝ 53 ✝ Father, dog dad, pianist... what else do you want from me?

[therevralphbirk]

honeysuckleheart​:

🌺 •  the words were enough to incite another grin on already upturned lips , reaching all the way to crease the sun - freckled skin at the corners of his gaze , and honey - colored curls bounced with an amused shake of his head . ❝ —aw , c’mon now , reverend ! a good song is timeless . that’s the magic of music , ain’t it ? doesn’t matter how old y’are , so long as ya got ears that work , y’gotta be able to appreciate a little bit a’ miss jamesetta hawkins , right ? ❞ as he spoke ,  sulley carefully dropped to his knees to better greet the dogs as they both came bounding up onto his porch , wrapping his arms around them in a rather excitable hug before giving in to a couple of affectionate scratches behind the ears . rhubarb , to her credit , hardly twitched at the new - found company , content to lounge in the comfort of her cooling dog bed even as they gave her an investigative sniff .  ❝ an’ i’m twenty - seven , by the way , but y’were pretty darn close , huh ? s’okay , been told i have a baby face once or twice , guess it’s true ! ❞

     at the playful pop of a bubble sulley turned his attention to the reverend’s daughter , grace ,  greeting her with a chuckle and a vibrant grin and watching , mesmerized  for a second by her movement on the skates .  ❝ y’gotta teach me how t’do that one day , gracie — the skatin’ , not the callin’ out your pops . ❞ at that , he let his gaze flicker  back to the reverend , head falling into a curious tilt as he continued to shower the man’s dogs in affection .  ❝ what are you two gettin’ up to , anyway ? i jus’ finished up makin’ a pitcher of cold - brewed yerba mate , if y’two wanna come up for a minute an’ cool off  ? ❞

Ralph exhaled, “You have good tastes, Miles, I will give you that. Just do me a favor, alright, and lower the volume for me? I’m old. I’d like to do my crossword puzzles in peace.” Alf the puppy was far less graceful than his older brother who greeted the man calmly before turning his attention to Rhubarb who he was no doubt trying to court.

WHY HELLO, MADAME, COME HERE OFTEN?

“You wanna learn how to skate?” Grace asked, fingers slipped through the belt loops of her own jean shorts, an amused smirk on her face. She considered Sulley for a moment. “Think you can keep up?” but she was already skating over, to the curb to unlace her skates. They were staying, Grace had decided for Ralph, which was fine. All things considered he enjoyed Miles’ company. Maybe, somehow, somewhere deep down, he reminded Ralph of how he was in his twenties.

 “We’re just getting back from taking the dogs on a walk. -- I don’t know what that is but we have the time.” Following his daughter up Sulley’s steps, “This won’t make me hallucinate will it?” He was teasing, of course... Mostly teasing.

[therevralphbirk]

orla-rhodes​:

So this was probably better than her parents picking her up, at least Sutton could entertain her the only way someone within her age group could. Arm entangled with his, her free hand rested against his wrist now that he was pulling her suitcase. “Well, I’m rarely honoured, but I think you’ve managed it.” She remarks, smirk firmly sat upon her features. The idea of a present made her eyes literally light up, it wasn’t often Orla received gifts just because. “Its official, you are my favourite and I’d say you shouldn’t have, but you totally should because I am the greatest.” 

Letting go on Sutton, she reached to give his father a much more dignified hug than she’d given him. “That’s good.” She answers, something about being around Ralph made her at least pretend to be on her best behaviour. “Oh? Ok yeah, sure. Sounds fun.” God, that sounded awful, but maybe she could cut the night short and wake up with Sutton and a bottle of brandy, or at the very least, they could throw popcorn at each other over whichever board game their parents decided they should play. “She’s not traveling?” She asks, she always had Mae down as a free spirit that wouldn’t want to spend too much time stuck at home during the summer. “Personally, I think that’s a great subject to take. Is she enjoying this one?” 

Sutton’s grin only widened as Orla spoke, “Somebody’s gotta spoil you.” The idea of a combined family game night sounded too suburban for Sutton’s tastes too, “Can I be exempt?”

Ralph ignored his eldest son, waving him off dismissively as he placed Orla’s bag in the trunk, “No. I think she may be a little traveled out. She spent the past semester in Ireland and was surprisingly homesick the entire time.” He held the door open for his goddaughter before moving to get in the driver’s seat, “She’s just about as excited about it as she is everything else.” (which was very) he responded, “It’s practical while remaining within the arts. I’m happy as long as she is.” Mae was... exploring. All Ralph could pray was that she didn’t explore her way into dementedly large student loans. Ralph paid for what he could but she was the youngest of 5 after all and universities just got more and more expensive as the years went on. He glanced at her int he rear view mirror, “Now that you’re back will you have time to help me with the Church, Florence?”

As soon as Sutton slipped into the car, brushing thighs with Orla, they were off. He slipped a box out of the pocket of his jacket, holding it out to her with a wink. Inside she’d find a vintage looking tattoo machine gun, with embossed skull and snake detailing and all. “I know a guy.”

[therevralphbirk]

soundlessglass‌:

Ralph hadn’t invited people to stay at his home and Bobbie certainly hadn’t really stayed the night at anyone’s place in a really long time. If he was invited to someone’s place he didn’t spend the night, that was for sure. But Ralph had asked him to stay and Bobbie was going to keep his word about staying – because he wanted to stay.

The morning came and Bobbie showed no signs of waking up any time soon. He definitely was a guy who appreciated his night’s sleep and he hadn’t really slept much and he blamed Ralph for that. But the man’s bed was definitely comfortable to sleep on so once Bobbie had fallen asleep he wasn’t planning on getting up any time soon.

Until he woke up to a dog snout poking his arm. One eye opened slowly, looking at the dog and when the animal all patiently just waited there Bobbie couldn’t help but chuckle. “You were sent here to wake me up weren’t you?” he asked knowing the dog wouldn’t really answer to him. Bobbie reached out to the dog, scratched his head a bit and then stretched his limbs. “You can go and tell Ralph I’m up”, he said, but seemed like his word wasn’t either heard or cared about because it seemed like Ramses was just going to wait there for Bobbie to actually get up. “Okay, okay..” A small chuckle followed his words and he sat up, starting the search of his underwear. Their clothes were pretty much scattered a bit here and there, but Bobbie did manage to find his boxers. He pulled them on, petted the dog and the duo headed downstairs.

“Morning”, Bobbie said as he saw Ralph in the kitchen, a small smile gracing his lips. “Have you been up for long?”

Well trained, Ramses was not leaving without Bobbie in tow, poking Bobbie’s nose this time with his snout.

TIME FOR UP HUMAN. ORDERS ARE ORDERS.

Still, he was more than pleased to be pet.

THAT’S THE SPOT -- NO! YOU’RE DISTRACTING ME. UP! UP!

The great dane stared at Bobbie while he stretched, turning in a circle happily when the man finally rose. When they enertered the kitchen, it was just in time for Ralph to pour some coffee. Outside, Alf the puppy stopped at the glass door to look at the stranger.

WHO ARE YOU? Then zoomed around the back yard again before returning to look at Bobbie. I WANT TO SMELL YOU.

Ralph couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips, “Good morning.” again reminded of just how much of a nice sight Bobbie was to wake up to. He moved around the kitchen island, “Not very. Anyway I’m a morning person; I didn’t want to wake you.” He hesitated before handing Bobbie the mug so that his lips could graze the man’s jaw, “Did you sleep well?” Domestic. This all felt very domestic didn’t it? And Ralph wasn’t going to complain.

[therevralphbirk]

itsrigswinston‌:

Rigs had aleady seen Ralph inside of the bar but he hadn’t really expected him to go after him when he was thrown out. He certainly wouldn’t have done it. Everyone who knew him was well aware that he got in trouble more than often so anyone who was clever would stay the fuck away. Or at least that was the Rigs thought about it. When the older man was handing him the handkerchief though, he was still somehow glad. At least it meant not having to walk around the city with a blood stained t-shirt. “Anyone who just turns the other cheek instead of sticking up for himself is an idiot! Someone should tell your god!”, Rigs only replied in a dry voice, even though he was pretty sure that Ralph knew that he wasn’t someone who believed in god. Or maybe he just didn’t want to. Sometimes he wasn’t all that sure himself. “He was talkin’ about shit he doesn’t know nothin’ about so yeah.. he did deserve it!”

Ralph held his hands up in defense, slightly amused “Easy, easy. I’ll let the big man upstairs know.” He placed a gentle hand on Rigs shoulder as they walked, “Then he deserved it. I much rather you defend yourself than start needless fights in bars just because you can.” Rigs was better than that.

And Ralph had no desire to keep Rigs at arms length. Especially when he knew Rigs thought that isolation was what he deserved. Everyone should have a circle of people they could depend on. And Ralph was more than happy to be there for Rigs if the man would just let him. Maybe it was the father in him coming out, again, as if Ralph (ever apathetic expression forever on his face) ever could truly hide how much he cared.

“And just what didn’t he know about?” He asked, before adding, “You might as well tell me know.”

[eatabug]

🌺 •  ❝ —at laaaast , my love has come along . . . ❞ was he on pitch ? oh , not even close , but that was hardly enough to stop sulley from absolutely v i b i n g as he danced his away around the small porch at the front of his house , limbs moving languidly to the crackling melody that poured through the record player and the countless wind chimes that tinkled brightly on the breeze between each and every note . upturned lips curled around the joint balanced there for a slow , deep drag , and he exhaled the breath in a cloud of smoke and song      ❝ —an’ life is like a song— ! ❞ he paused , mid - lyric , when he discovered someone had spotted his little jam session from the sidewalk below , and though cheeks colored the same soft pink as the bubblegum petunias that bloomed in hanging baskets overhead , he hardly allowed the new - found audience to interrupt his casual swaying . instead , he simply turned his attention to the silhouette on the sidewalk and offered up a grin . ❝ what , don’t tell me y’don’t like etta — this song is a classic . d’you want somethin’ else though ? i’m gonna let this one finish if y’don’t mind , but i do take requests . ❞ @slchat​

[therevralphbirk]

Miles knew this wasn’t anything personal. It was just that it was hot and Ralph currently had all of his adult children back home who he loved dearly but... Is quiet so much to ask for sometimes? Currently, there was metal music playing in one room and scream laughing in the next and the dogs were barking and to top it all off there was the yoga instructor across the street blasting Etta James. He had mixed feelings about the matter.

All this to say, when one of his daughters offered to take the dogs (and Ralph) out on a walk he obliged.

“Miles.” Ralph greeted plainly, releasing his dogs’ leads, letting them bound up the man’s front porch’s stairs to greet him. “ -- What are you? 25? What do you know about Etta James?” Huffy, today, wasn’t he?

“Don’t mind him!” Grace, Ralph’s eldest daughter called, skillfully skating backwards in her roller skates so that she could speak to the man on the porch properly. Ralph had said it himself, it was hot and still, she was wearing shorts that were far too short and a crop top far too cropped for Ralph to be comfortable. Everyone needed to stop growing. She let her sunglasses slide to the bottom of her nose, blowing a bubble of pink bubblegum between glossed lips, “He’s in a mood today. -- What’s that you got there?” If Grace was down for anything, it was v i b i n g.

He ignored the drag from his daughter, “I don’t know what she’s talking about.”

[therevralphbirk]

mattrusso‌:

“It’s just a joke, Rev,” Matt waved away his concerns, although some part of him was forced to actually think about the question on a deeper, more private level, as was usually the case when Ralph confronted him with uncomfortable truths. “I have to maintain a balance between calling myself a talented genius and acknowledging that, at the very same time, I’m also the worst.” That duality of nature had inspired more than one song, which in the end was the place he really felt most comfortable talking about those difficult, uncomfortable truths. 

He gave a helpless little shrug at the questions about TikTok, quietly amused to think of the Rev having a friend who was on there. “The scarier the world gets the more my generation and especially people younger than me need something to pull us out of reality,” he said almost casually. “Plus everything moves so fast these days, if there isn’t constant stimulation we get bored.”

At Ralph’s suggestion (amusingly sarcastic, or at least Matt thought it was) he lay back down in the grass and dropped an arm over his eyes. “I can trust myself,” he said stubbornly. “It’s not like past relationships, I really like her. I’m just…” He shrugged. Sighed. “I dunno. I guess I’m freaked out a little about how much I like her, ‘cause I don’t really see an end in sight or anything. Which is awesome, obviously, it’s just weird. Longest I ever dated anyone was a year. My parents would be thrilled, too bad I’m keeping her away from them as long as possible.”

Ralph gave him a look, “I would hope so. Sometimes I can’t tell, people in your age group all do that. You know what Mae said to me the other day? That she was: ‘a garbage can but pretty cute.’ She said it was a meme.” He mused over this, “At least you aren’t full of yourself, that’s a good thing. Teach Sutton some humility, when you next see him.” That boy had an ego the size of a planet.

A gruff exhale in response, “That’s fair. We didn’t exactly make it easy for you all, did we? I know it’s hard.” sighing, “You know that age range describes all of my children. I think Grace struggles the most. But they won’t let me help them. They have such high expectations for themselves. I do worry... Don’t you enjoy sitting and doing nothing? It’s one of my favorite pastimes but I’ve been told I’m old and boring.” 

Matt killed Ralph sometimes, and when the man flopped back onto the grass to pout the reverend couldn’t help his slight chuckle, “So, let me get this straight...” counting on his fingers, “You like this woman quite a lot. You see a future with her. You aren’t interested in cheating on her. And I’m assuming she likes you back... So,” He poked tapped the man’s arm encouraging Matt to look at him, “Why are you worried?” 

[therevralphbirk]

@itsrigswinston, @orla-rhodes, @mattrusso & all of his children

[therevralphbirk]

orla-rhodes‌:

Her dad had text, something about them being caught up with something so he wasn’t picking her up from the apartment, not to worry though, the friendly neighbourhood Rev had offered. Was she 12? Did her dad forget she had other people in the city would would be willing to give her a ride. However, seeing Sutton had made it all click, and this was probably just some plan formulated by her friend to catch her. “SUTTY!” She exclaimed, her arms wrapping around his neck as he picked her up. An excitable squeal escaping from between her lips as she laughs. Her feet barely steadying against the floor as he puts her back down, her arm entangling with his to hold onto him. “The fuck are you doin’ here?” She asks, before realising Ralph was also stood there. “Rev.” She greets him much more formally than his son, her teeth grazing over her lower lip at her previous use of the word  fuck. “It was great, thanks. How’re you?” 

Ralph couldn’t help the small, fond smile that pulled on his lips as the two embraced. (Even if it was the most extra greeting they could have possibly managed.) He was sure there was something going on between the two of them (or something had been at least). But like heck either would tell the good old reverend about the details which was fine with him. At least they continued to get along, that was all Ralph could ask for. “Well, I heard you were on your way back and I always have time for my girl.” Sutton hummed, an arm wrapping happily around Orla as they walked, “I got you something.” He winked, “Just a lil’ something something from my travels. It’s in the car.”

Ralph gave Orla a hug too regardless of the profanity, “I’m doing quite well, actually.” which wasn’t a lie. A healthy sex life had a way of clearing your pores, didn’t it? “I hope you don’t mind we’ve surprised you like this. I figured it was perfect timing. Your parents requested we all have something of a family dinner.” His other children were wild cards. Who knew, Ralph was planning for a full house. “Mae’s home for the summer. She’s excited to see you. She’s changed her major to graphic design. (...For now...)”

[itsrigswinston-deactivated20210]

@slchat​

“Fuckin’ idiots!” Rigs mumbled under his breath, pushing aside the hand of the man who had been told to throw him out of the bar. Apparently punching some other guy wasn’t what they wanted to see in there. Not that he was surprised though, it wasn’t the first time something like that had happened after all. And as if that wasn’t enough already, that guy had punched back and perfectly hit his nose which was still bleeding a little. Leaning forword a little and trying to stop it from dripping on his shirt, he was just about to keep on cursing, when he noticed that there was some other person close by who was watching him. “Got a problem?!”

[therevralphbirk]

Ralph had been subject to another ‘men’s fellowship’ at that very bar, sitting in a back corner playing cards with some of the older dads and grandfathers from his church congregation and silently thanking God for the bar fight because it gave him an excuse to leave. 

Listen, he liked poker and smoking cigars. But he had nothing to add to talk about sports and while he loved his own children he didn’t exactly care about Richard’s son getting kicked out of Harvard. Even if that was hilarious. It was general knowledge that the men from his church tended to put him to sleep. He much rather be invited to tea with the ladies but his invitation always got lost in the mail it seemed ANYWAY...

Ralph excused himself from the table as Rigs was being escorted out following the man outside.

“Rigs.” He greeted, motioning with his head, “Walk with me.” He handed the man a handkerchief from his jacket pocket, pausing, “I know I’m supposed to go on about turning the other cheek, Matthew 5:39, grace and mercy et cetera, et cetera...” He waved a hand, dismissing the Bible entirely because Ralph didn’t feel like lecturing Rigs tonight, not that he ever did. “...I’m going to go ahead and assumed the other guy deserved it, right?” 

[therevralphbirk]

soundlessglass‌:

Ralph knew pretty little about Bobbie and Bobbie knew surprisingly little about Ralph in return. But if they’d scale things out, Bobbie probably knew more. He knew Ralph’s job, about his family, few little details from here and there, but in all reality he didn’t really know that much about him. But he didn’t mind knowing so little. He had time to learn more since he wasn’t planning on moving out any day soon and Ralph most likely even less because what Bobbie had figured out you couldn’t go and change your church just like that.

Bobbie looked down to his hand as Ralph‘s fingers glided down his skin. A tiny smile crawled to his lips at the way their fingers linked as Ralph took him towards the stairs. “Show the way”, he said as he looked back to Ralph from their hands. He was quite sure he could find his way to the bedroom by himself too, he had quite good memory how the house looked like on the inside just based on the house tour Ralph once gave him. But this way was way better than just walking in the room alone.

Once they were upstairs and just stepped in the bedroom, Bobbie decided to yank Ralph’s arm pulling the man right in front of him. He wrapped his free arm around the man’s waist pressing their bodies together, still keeping their linked hands behind him so Ralph couldn’t really go anywhere. “I hope your bed is a nice on to sleep on”, he said with a slight grin on his lips. As if they’d be sleeping much, that was sure..

Ralph liked Bobbie’s smile. Though to be fair there was little he didn’t like about the man. He liked how Bobbie purred responses. He liked how their bodies were pulled together. He liked the teases.

...And the sex. 

Ralph was only a man, after all. And Bobbie was attractive -- in brains and body and everything else.

If Ralph hadn’t been so curious about Bobbie as a person they wouldn’t be here right now. In fact, Bobbie was the first person who Ralph invited to stay the night in his home. In his bed. That meant something. And in the morning, Ralph found he didn’t mind Bobbie’s presence.

He couldn’t stop himself from allowing his fingertips to gently trace over Bobbie’s cheekbone, brush hair off of the sleeping man’s forehead, using his other hand to run over his own face.

What secrets are you keeping from me, you beautiful man?

Ralph was careful not to wake him, feeling rough from last night but regretting none of it as he made his way to the kitchen, checking his body for any signs of Bobbie being there in the hallway mirror. Alf the puppy zoomed around the backyard and through the house, while Ramses followed by his side. Coffee first, hoping the smell of breakfast would rouse Bobbie eventually. But just in case...

“Why don’t you go get him?” he asked the black great dane, who dutifully trotted off into the home to retrieve Bobbie leaving Ralph to cook.

[orla-rhodes]

“Im back! Did you miss me?” Orla exclaims, when in reality she’d only been away for forty-eight hours at a tattoo convention in San Diego. “Now, I need details, what happened whilst I was gone? Because it’s just my luck that something happens in this place whilst I’m away.” @slchat​

[therevralphbirk]

Usually, Ralph’s eldest son Sutton would have been there at the tattoo convention to support his friend (and get more tattoos than he needed) but since he had been on tour their timing was off. That said, when Ralph had mentioned Orla’s expected arrival time Sutton decided it was only right for him to swing home for a day or two before heading back to his LA apartment. To spend some time with Ralph (sure, whatever) but most importantly to greet Orla when she arrived. And by greet I mean scoop her up into a hug and spin her around. “Hey, Pidge!” setting her down, he took her luggage for her, “The hell if I know I just got back from Philadelphia -- ” 

Ralph’s greeting was far less theatrical, “Welcome home. How was the convention?”

[therevralphbirk]

viv-tierney‌:

Every so often, Viv’s pup would come bounding over to her from the backyard, carrying a toy that she didn’t recognize as one of his, and every time, she knew one of Ralph’s great danes had thrown it over. He always acted like it was a gift from the heavens, which she supposed to the dog, it really seemed like it was, so every time getting it away from him was a pain in the ass. She had just finished convincing Teemu to give it back to her when she heard the doorbell ring.

She went over to the door, the toy tucked under her elbow with the dog trailing after her, swinging it open to see Ralph. “Right on schedule,” she said with a smile, holding it out for him. “Would hate to see you lose slippers, though I have to say, if I take one more toy from the heavens away from this poor guy, he may commit mutiny,” she said jokingly. “He might be the one who needs to be bribed with the pecan pie.” 

Ralph quite liked his neighbor and her little pup, smiling fondly when the door opened. “You know me too well. How are you, dear?” Ramses, poised and well trained walked beside Ralph off leash, sitting and staring down at Teemu, nose boop’ing the other dog’s head. Alf on the other hand smooshed his face against the window, looking completely miserable that he hadn’t been brought on this impromptu field trip.

He took the toy graciously, “Well, how about you swing on by if you aren’t busy. I’m sure the boys will be happy to have a playdate and surely that will make up for the confusion.” Bending to pat Teemu’s head, “How does that sound buddy?”

[therevralphbirk]

soundlessglass‌:

If Bobbie would’ve heard Ralph thinking he tasted like sin he surely would’ve laughed at it and asked what did a sin taste like. He had no clue what it would be, but he wouldn’t take an answer of ‘it tastes like you’ because that was no real answer. But since it was a thought and not something that was said aloud, Bobbie wouldn’t get an answer to the question that didn’t even exist.

Bobbie’s left hand moved to Ralph’s hip, just resting there on the side as the kiss continued. It had been a while since Bobbie had kissed anyone, he just hadn’t met a matchign soul in a while. It wasn’t that there hadn’t been people trying to get Bobbie interested about them, Bobbie just hadn’t found them interesting. He wasn’t a guy who went kissing people just for the fun of it. There had be at least some kind of click there and there definitely was a strong click with Bobbie and Ralph. Probably stronger than Bobbie had experienced in a long while.

He lift his chin up a bit and tilted his head to the side slightly as Ralph’s lips moved to his neck. He hummed softly at the words – as if Ralph didn’t know already that Bobbie had no plans on leaving unless he was kicked out. “Sure”, he replied because it felt like Ralph wouldn’t accept just a hum as a ‘yes’. “I’ll sleep on the couch”, he added but that part was clearly just him being ‘funny’. They both knew couch most likely wouldn’t be an option, not tonight at least.

Click was a fitting word. Even now their bodies slid together so easily, like the pieces of a puzzle. It was funny, how many people spoke to Ralph about this and that, spilling their entire life stories and grievances and yet... they’d come to church once and he’d not see them again until the next year.

Bobbie however, was a consistent in Ralph’s life. And Ralph still knew so little about the man. He always knew he wanted to know Bobbie (and, alright, don’t get ahead of yourself, not just in the biblical sense of the word). He wanted to know where those occasional burns came from. Maybe the prospect of learning the man’s favorite food was enticing for Ralph. Bobbie’s favorite music... Where Bobbie liked to be touched. He supposed they were making progress. Ralph now knew Bobbie liked the stars.

He could feel himself smile against Bobbie’s jaw, “I’m not going to make you sleep on the couch.” His palm ran down Bobbie’s arm to find his fingertips, leading him to the stairs, “I can show you where you’ll be sleeping, like I said it’s late.” Not that they’d be going to sleep but that was implied. 

It occurred to Ralph then that Bobbie was... the only person he’s ever brought into his home like this. Shit. That meant Bobbie was special didn’t it? And Ralph found he didn’t mind one bit.

[therevralphbirk]

alastairbarris‌:

‘We don’t have to do just that,’ Alastair replied. ‘We could go to the beach, or watch a movie… Go to dinner?’ He suggested with a light shrug. It was nice that somebody wanted to spend time with him that wasn’t his daughter, or somebody he’d slept with. Al seemed to sleep with all of the guys he considered his friends. ‘You’d be a great assistant.’

‘Mmhm.’ Al nodded. ‘I find myself… drawn to people who aren’t in their 50′s.’ He hoped Ralph would understand that. ‘Men in their 30′s… and sometimes their 20′s.’ Alastair couldn’t help but cringe: it sounded awful out loud. No wonder Aspen disliked it so much. ‘I’d like to date someone my age I just can’t seem to find somebody I get along with.’

There was always something in the way, or something that put him off them, or them off him. 

‘Yeah I’d love that. You’re easy to talk to. I guess you have to be, with your line of work, right? Helping people out, giving them advice.’ Alastair smiled. ‘What time are you open on Sundays? I want to come to one of your services.’

Ralph couldn’t help how his face lit up, just ever so. The reverend was blessed with quite the... apathetic look to him. One to give Wednesday Addam’s a run for her money but he didn’t mean it. That was just his face. And he loved the beach, “A trip to the beach would surely make the dogs very happy. I have one that I frequent if you’d like to join me some day. Feel free to bring yours. I’m sure Ramses and Alf would love the company.” He smiled, resting his pointer and middle finger against the side of his chin, “The most stage experience I have is co-hosting Gay Bingo for LA Aids fund one every month. Feel free to swing by for that as well if you’re interested. There’s always a theme, and my co-host is one of the local drag queens so that’s always good fun.” 

He tilted his head slightly as Al explained, “Well, there surely is a difference in maturity from 20 to 50, different life experiences which might make things harder. But the key is that you’re both consenting adults, isn’t it?” Ralph didn’t know how he’d feel if Mae or even Eli or John or Grace came home with a partner his age. He supposed he’d just be worried they weren’t being taken advantage of. “It’s just if that age gap bothers you or not. And you’re both in it for the right reasons.”

A nod, humming gently, “I try to be. And it definitely helps. If you can’t talk to me then what’s the point? That’s why people flock away from the church. It’s not welcoming. Too many people feel uncomfortable which is the fault of the church and my ministry to remedy that as best I can.” He smiled, “11am is around when we start if you’d like to stop by. I make sure there’s coffee, don’t worry.”

[therevralphbirk]

mattrusso‌:

“Sure,” Matt agreed, not without a touch of irony, “if you consider my shitty band ‘greater things’.” There was in fact no part of Matt which considered anything about Kafka to be shitty, but the self-deprecation was in his nature. He laughed at the suggestion to get a haircut, something he was not unfamiliar with hearing every time he visited his parents, except that they, unlike Ralph, apparently felt it necessary to take the extra step of letting him know how bad they thought it looked. They also rarely stopped at his appearance.

“I know next to nothing about TikTok,” Matt assured him with a laugh, amused beyond words to think of the Rev watching videos of teenagers doing whatever the hell the latest trend happened to be. “It’s like Vine but on steroids. I definitely appreciate how removed from reality everyone is these days but I don’t have one, so I won’t be much help.”

Thus far, Matt had avoided explicitly telling anyone who he was dating. Jude and Sophie had found out, but that had been circumstantial. He’d posted a picture of her on his Instagram, though, and he figured almost two months in was about time he quit keeping her to himself. “Her name’s Mia,” he said, smiling a little and then rolling his eyes. A hand went to one of the dog’s heads to scratch idly behind an ear. “I’ve never not cheated on a girlfriend before.” There was some shame in his voice when he said it, but maybe not as much as there should have been. “Haven’t even thought about it with her and it’s been almost two months. Any godly advice on how to keep it that way when I go on tour?”

Ralph turned his body to look at Matt properly, “Why do you do that?” He asked almost pointedly. The look on his face was soft, one brow slightly raised, "You put yourself down. Would I lie to you?” He placed a hand on Matt’s shoulder, “You’re doing very well. You are.”

A sighed, hmm, when Matt could tell him nothing more about the platform than Ralph already knew, “I have a friend, he says he’s on here how do I find him? -- Vine on steroids?” He looked up from his phone, “What’s that? How many of these things are there?” He mused over this, “It’s... creative. What you kids come up with to pass the time.”

Ralph also didn’t have Instagram and relied on Matt telling him things the old fashioned way. There was no way for Ralph to investigate this Mia person (unless he had a last name in which case he could enlist some of the little old church ladies to do some digging for him... Not that he would...), “Well,” Ralph began, running a hand over his chin, “Think with your brain. Not your...” He was cut off by someone calling to wave hello across the street. He waved back. "This feels self explanatory but communication. Maybe take some time to evaluate why you’ve cheated on past partners. And then go from there. And if you don’t think you can trust yourself then is it fair to be in a closed relationship? You have to ask yourself those questions.” He searched for his glasses, “I don’t think any of that advice is specific to Christianity but if you’d like me to read from the Bible to you we can do that too.”

[therevralphbirk]

landon-db‌:

“I like to write fiction, but I’ll dabble in a little bit of everything, really. I guess you could say that all depends on how I’m feeling that day, or what my mind feels like it needs to put down on a page,” Landon replied. He too didn’t do particularly well with formalities, finding himself at a loss for words. Talking about things such as the weather wasn’t exactly striking conversation.

Landon smiled when the man mentioned his daughter went to USC as well, although the name didn’t seem familiar. It was a big campus, however, and Landon only knew a handful of people outside of those in his classes. “I don’t think I’ve been to a game, but if I do go, I’ll at least know one more person,” he mused. “It’s nice that she seems to have your support, if I’m not mistaken. My father didn’t want me to go to university. He wanted me to take some vocational automotive classes and follow his footsteps, but that wasn’t… It’s not where my talents or my heart are, you could say,” he admitted with a little bit of hesitancy to say any more. It was a strenuous relationship that he had with his father, if he could even call it that, and there wasn’t a single day that passed that he took his schooling for granted.

"It’s good to be versatile. Anyway, you’re still young. You have time to dabble in this or that. Sometimes I wonder if I haven’t dabbled enough in my life. I say enjoy it. Explore.”

Ralph nodded seriously, “She absolutely does. All my children, they all have their own paths. They’re not mini-me’s or mini versions of their mother after all. They’re, well,” He waved a hand, “Them.” A small, understanding frown at the mention of the man’s father, “There’s something to be said about trade school, but what I’ve figured out is you’re going to be working for the rest of your life, right? Might as well find something you enjoy.” He tilted his head, slightly, “Hopefully he’ll come around. But until then all you can do is your best and that’s enough. Even if he doesn’t see it yet.”

[therevralphbirk]

soundlessglass‌:

As they stepped inside Bobbie assumed a hello from a dog, but the hello he got was a completely different kind. He had known the situation most likely would get into something but the kiss was still a slight surprise. A nice surprise.

He replied to the kiss, not having any rush on ending it. It was a nice kiss, tasted like whiskey, but Bobbie didn’t think that was a bad thing either. It would probably be weird if it wouldn’t taste like whiskey considering how much of it they drank during the night. But no matter how much alcohol was running around in his body Bobbie knew this kiss wasn’t just the alcohol talking. In a way the kiss was a long time coming. They clearly had been dancing around the topic but never did anything about it. Until today, clearly.

Even if the kiss would be all what’d happen, Bobbie would be completely fine with that too. But what he knew for a fact was that he’d go as far as Ralph wanted to go. After all, he was the one who had a deal with the higher powers while Bobbie could do whatever and he could only point fingers at himself for being a fool.

Yes, Bobbie tasted like whiskey and, of course, sin. And it drove Ralph absolutely insane.

It had been long overdue. This. 

Maybe, Ralph been holding off until he couldn’t anymore. Maybe it was the alcohol or Bobbie always being too good to let slip through his fingers or both that pushed him over the edge tonight. Maybe he knew, logically, that if he kissed Bobbie he wouldn’t want to stop. And he had been right. 

Anyway, Ralph knew the man wasn’t going anywhere (further into the house or out of it entirely) unless Ralph told him to. Typical, really, for Bobbie to have so much control by forcing Ralph to take it instead. Fine. Now Bobbie was here and Ralph would be damned if he was going to let him go. They’ve gotten this far.

"Stay.” it wasn’t really a question, it didn’t need to be. He moved his face away just enough to press two gentle but insistent kisses against Bobbie’s jaw, then neck. As if coaxing was needed. “It’s late. Stay.”