Turning Point
Hikaru x Haruhi
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A short story about An emotional Haruhi on her wedding day.
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Flowers were everywhere. Somebody was getting married.
Kaoru was humming. He loved it. The hustle and bustle was exciting. It was 2 years of work finally coming together. It was mostly his doing, of course, if he did say so himself. He especially had to give himself a big pat on the back for the work of art sitting pretty inside the bridal dress bag he had slung over his shoulder; A bundle of white ruffles and sparkles and bundles of joy and whatever.
Joy wasn’t what everyone was feeling though. Little did he know, behind the little white door that had a pretty little sash blaring the silver sparkly words “BRIDE TO BE” there was a tiny tornado. Their poor little Tanuki brat was drowning.
The door opened, then he knocked. “Haruhi?” He piped. ”Are you showered yet? I’m here to help you get ready. I arm wrestled Mei and won so guess who also gets to do your makeup? It’s me. Spoiler.”
Kaoru looked around. The room was empty.
“Haruhi?” His voice tempered immediately, seeing her silky pink robe folded exactly how he left it earlier, on the big plush bed. He couldn’t hear the shower. “Are you in here? I just saw Hikaru. He’s actually being really good today. He hasn’t flipped out on anyone yet. Except the videographer. He’s running late. It’s fine.”
He laid the heavy purple bridal bag on the bed beside the robe, unzipping it to reveal the thousands of soft white ruffles and flowers of her wedding dress. His favorite was the football field length cathedral veil, made of chantilly lace and tiny white pearls. The mere thought of the impending moment where Haruhi would walk down the aisle and his brother would inevitably fall to his knees and cry was the adrenaline keeping him going at full speed, even if it was still only 9am. Tears streaming down his brother's stupid face because of his hard work? How glorious.
Oh, and Haruhi, too.
“Haruhi?” Kaoru called out, a bit anxious now. Probably because he was slowing down. He knocked on the bathroom door. He did that after checking the lock. What? He was in a hurry. “Are you in there? Not trying to rush you sweetheart but there's kind of a big event happening today. Totally not time coordinated or anything. Definitely not.”
He leaned his ear against the door. “You can totally take all the time in the world but also maybe hurry up, too? Not rushing you though.”
After a few agonizing moments, of his forehead leaning against the door, the doorknob wiggled and what was revealed was a soggy brunette, hair and body still wrapped in a fluffy white towel. Her face beat red, eye puffy, and her hands sort of jittery as she fumbled with the knot that held up her towel.
“Sorry.” She spoke, also out of breath, “sorry. I’m moving kind of slow today.”
“Totally fine.” He waved his hands, as if waving it away. He did not need a flustered bride today. “You’re fine. Let’s get you dressed, yeah? I’ll get the blow dryer. Everything’s fine!”
Was he telling her that or himself?
Was he maybe the problem? Definitely not.
Then he stopped. Watching her plop down at the vanity table, still red in her face and shoulders, her eyes, now that he noticed, were red and stringy, like she’d been crying.
She picked up a random house rehab magazine from off the table and started to fan herself, then let out a staggering slow deep breath.
Oh dear. She was upset.
His shoulders dropped, and finally took a breath himself. A first for him all morning.
“Hey,” he whispered, sitting on his heels in front of her. She looked straight down, away from him. “What’s up? Are you nervous? It’s okay.”
Haruhi shook her head no, and was quiet. She said nothing but sniffled loudly and wiped her nose. The poor thing. She was like a wet, abandoned puppy.
“They said what makes girls the most anxious both their wedding is all the people.” He said, brushing a piece of her damp bangs out of her face. Then tapped her chin, “I can tell them to all close their eyes when the music starts, if that will make you feel better, in fact, I’ll blindfold all of them and tell them they can only look when I snap my fingers. And by then, you and Hikaru will already be gone. I’ll take care of all of it.”
There were probably 200 people in the aisle. His mother sure did love a party.
“I don't feel good, Kaoru” she admitted, hiding her face in her hands, “I’m freaking out.”
He was devastated. “Oh god. Don’t cry. Haruhi it’s okay. Do you want a Zofran? I'm sure they have some here somewhere. This happens a lot. I promise. Everything’s going to be okay.”
Suddenly, he was knocked over onto his bottom, when Haruhi shoved him backwards to get past him. She muttered a quick ‘sorry’ that was almost unrecognizable as she bolted straight to the bathroom. She didn’t quite get to shut the door before he could hear her hurling into the toilet.
Oh. She was quite literally sick.
Awesome.
When his shock subsided and he could stand, his only instinct was to rub her back until she was rid of her poison. This reminded him of her and Hikaru’s engagement party. Except now it wasn’t his brother's hair he was holding.
After gagging, wiping her mouth, puking, gagging some more, and a bit more tears but luckily no more crying, Haruhi settled onto the cold tiled floor for a bit, , knees to her chest, until Kaoru finally got her dressed. Sort of.
“Okay there we go,” he cooed, holding up her wet towel to shield her while she pulled on the sleeves of her silk robe. The sparkly rhinestoned word’ BRIDE’ on her back was not quite mirroring the same energy of today anymore. He felt her forehead. No fever, but she looked flushed, pale and tired. “What’s going on? You can tell me. I won’t tell Hikaru. Honest.”
He was giving her an intense ‘tell-me-everything’ look. The kind he was very good at, and most of the time always had Haruhi and Hikaru melt.
Haruhi just stared at him, quietly refusing to cooperate. She couldn’t get any words past the lump in her throat.
This was unusual. Haruhi was a sturdy rock. Not much of anything could waver her undeniably, often mistaken as emotionless, stoic demeanor. But she was still a girl. Tough and resilient, but everyone’s walls crumble sometimes.
When she didn’t respond, he pushed on, determined, to get to the bottom of this. “Haruhi, are you getting cold feet or what? Tell me what’s wrong. I can help.”
“Are you and Hikaru okay?” He asked slowly, dreading his own question, “Do you not want to get married?”
“I…” her breath caught, her eyes were desperate. She was reaching for something. For help, for peace, for something.
Kaoru mimicked her expression. Not on purpose. He was reaching for her to save her from her turmoil.
“Haruhi.” He urged, less friendly now. He realized this may be something that might hurt his brother somehow, someway. Maybe she was having second thoughts. “I’m going to tell Hikaru now.”
“No.” Hearing that was like if someone had rang a gong beside her head. She stiffened up, and he quite literally watched her stiff solid walls start to shield her again. She backed away from him, looking almost like a frightened deer. He grabbed her shoulders.
She stuttered something, mostly uncohesive. Then she was quiet again, when he pulled her into his arms and let her face rest against his chest. The warmth and comfort was overwhelming. His hand was atop her head, comforting her the same way a big brother would his younger sister. She held him back. The next thing he knew her small shoulders were trembling and her soft sobs and strangled breaths were tearing through his chest, straight to his heart.
He said nothing, just brushed his fingers through her tangled mess of hair.
“We don’t have to do this today.” He said, after the longest 60 seconds of his life. “You can just go home. We can tell them all I have the flu.”
“Hikaru’ll be fine.” He said, with all certainty. Maybe. “He just wants you to be happy.”
Haruhi tried to breathe, she sniffled and wiped her write against her nose. Kaoru’s shirt was a mess. “I’m… I do. I want to get married. That’s not it.”
“Thank god.” Kaoru finally exhaled. “Because I lied. Hikaru would not be okay. Hikaru would burn this building down. I was just being nice.”
“But it’s okay!” He exclaimed, in a loud whisper, “Even if you ran away right now. He’d just chase you down. You can’t run away bride this even if you tried.”
She scoffed, wiping her eye. “I just- I don’t know what to do,” then Kaoru wiped a straggling tear rolling down her cheek. His soft, engulfing eyes broke the dam.
“I’m afraid he’s going to leave me.” She said, “I don’t want to be alone.”
“I love him,” She corrected herself, after one fleeting thought, “I don’t want him to leave me.”
Haruhi covered her face, embarrassed. Needing someone? This was a terrifying feeling. This was a desperateness she’d never felt before “I’m sorry. I’m being so stupid. Oh god. I can’t go out there. I can’t look at him ever again.”
Kaoru tried but couldn’t keep a straight face. “I could laugh in your face and tell you how silly you’re being right now but I don’t think that would quite get across how absolutely ridiculous you're acting right now. My brother? Leave you?” He stopped, watching her brow furrow as she backed up and rubbed her running nose. It was hard to find the words to describe the absolute anguish his brother would experience if Haruhi left him. He never thought about the opposite. The fact that he couldn’t get his point made, frustrated him.
“Haruhi…” he sounded just a bit annoyed, more so than he meant to, and she looked away like a small child in trouble, “Please be honest with me. What is this really about?”
_________________________________________
“Oh, Hikaru!” Yazuha gasped, grinning ear to ear, as she spun around and felt the wind from her son's stiff and stomping strides.
“Are you going to get ready?” She then sounded unsure, looking at his outfit as he passed her. He looked a bit unwell and unkept.
“Okay.” He heard her say meekly behind him, her voice echoing down the empty hall. “Well… you have 1 hour before showtime! Don’t dilly dally!”
Hikaru was deaf. Except for the pounding in his ears. He would have thought he was hungover except for the fact he was definitely the most sober he’s ever been in his life. Even if he wasn’t, Kaoru’s flustered, anxious words, when he stormed into his dressing room, would have sobered him at his drunkest.
What was this tightness in his chest? Was he frightened? Everything was going so well. He was brushing his hair, letting a stupid, blubbering Tamaki straighten his tie and shine his shoes, when Kaoru stumbled through the door, pink in the face, shooing everyone out of the room like cattle.
There was no time to lose. Kaoru both grabbed and pushed at his shoulder, pushing him towards the hallway but leaning in just enough to whisper in his ear.
“Haruhi needs you.”
He wanted to strangle out an explanation but Kaoru wasn’t budging. His little brother was flapping his hands at him like a furious pidgeon, hissing a few hasty “go, go, go!” “Don’t look at me! Go to her! You baffoon! My god.”
Something was wrong. There had to be, for their big day to suddenly not go according to plan, just minutes before his girlfriend was supposed to be walking down the aisle. Kaoru wouldn’t even tell him which way to go! But thankfully his first instinct, while never really strong in the past, proved surprisingly correct.
In his usual rude fashion, Hikaru slammed open the violet colored door to the fancy bridal suite and stomped around until his eyes finally landed on the vision of his frazzled little bride in the bathroom. She was fanning herself with her hands. Cheeks and chest wet from having just splashed water in her face.
Worry quickly turned into confusion and anger, a staple in Hikaru’s otherwise normal day, when he saw her puffy eyes and the look of terror on her pretty face.
“Hikaru-“ she choked, watching a series of different emotions flicker in his eyes from across the room. She took a step back for every step he took forward. She wanted to wrap herself in the towel she was holding and hide. She wasn’t ready for this.
He stopped. His shoulders loosened and he took a deep breath. The culprit for whatever undoing that had been done to her must be nearby, but as Hikaru glanced around the room, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Except for when he looked into the bathroom where she was standing, and saw her hide something that was on the sink. She quickly threw whatever it was into the trash, hands trembling, trying to straighten up the counter like she’d done something wrong and needed to fix it.
Her refusal to look him in the eye was baffling and fueled the bear inside him. He never liked when she was upset but when she was, she was very good at doing the whole ‘be quiet and distant with her boyfriend’ thing.
“What’s wrong?” He asked firmly. “You’re crying.”
“Nothing-“ She started, rubbing her eye with her wrist. A sickness overcame her when realization sank in. “Did Kaoru tell you?”
“Why are you crying?” he asked again, peeved now, knowing that Kaoru obviously knows something he didn’t. “Are you okay?”
She couldn’t handle any more questions. She cracked and shattered like a piece of old glass. She was embarrassed, and petrified. She couldn’t hide from him and Kaoru was right, if she ran, Hikaru would chase her. She had been running and hiding the weight of her shame from him all month, and she knew once she walked out of this room she couldn’t hide it anymore and everything would change and everything would be different and she couldn’t stand the thought of him calling this whole thing off once he knew what she’d done.
But she also couldn’t walk out that door, become his wife and play dumb. The guilt was eating her away.
Haruhi wrapped her arms around her stomach, feeling ill again.
So she was just going to hide and keep running and let him chase her. At least she wouldn’t have to face him.
She squeezed her eyes shut when he cupped her cheeks in his hands, turning her towards him.
“I’m not gonna be mad.” He said, as if everything was solved that plain and simply. “Are you sick?” He rubbed the circles under her eye, her face leaning into his touch. He stared at her, brows furrowed deep, and perplexed. She was fine yesterday, but her skin was cold and damp. It wasn’t water, he realized. She had cold sweats. “You look sick.”
“I’m okay” she groaned, awkwardly, swatting his hands away like she was covered in flies. “Kaoru’s making a big deal out of nothing. I’m fine.”
“Tell me what’s wrong.” He demanded, trying to hold on to her, but she didn’t want to be touched.
He was much like his brother. Almost identical. Persistent and unrelenting to fix her. She wanted to scream.
“Why?” He asked. Her reluctance was like a dagger. Her refusal to make this easy for him was another weapon used to hurt him. Wasn’t today supposed to be the day that started their lifelong journey of unwavering happiness together? Weren’t they supposed to never fight again?
“It’s nothing.” Haruhi insisted, annoyed. “I don’t want to talk about this right now, Hikaru.”
“I don't want to talk about this later” He copied her tone. That made her even more mad.
“Because.” She said, that lump in her throat coming back. She could feel the back of her neck get hot. “I’m not ready to talk about it. I didn’t even ask you. Let it go.”
“Why?” He half shouted.
“Because I’m scared.” She exclaimed, in half a shout, half a really deep breath. She surprised herself.
She saw the look on his face and looked down at the floor with a disgruntled groan. Now she had to say why and there was no more throwing any punches. A bell rang. The only fight she lost was to herself.
“Why?” He said softly, looking like a kicked puppy. “Of me?”
“Of you.” she snorted, crusted tears making her eyes watery. This was not how she wanted this to go. Again, she was acting like an idiot. She couldn’t talk to the one person she was supposed to talk to about everything.
“Haruhi? You’re freaking me out.” Hikaru admitted, in a desperate whisper. He held her face. She let him this time. She put her hands over his and squeezed. “I’m not going to get mad again. I promise. I’m sorry.”
“I’m ashamed, I don’t want to tell you.” She chucked, in irony. “I really messed up and I’m embarrassed and I don’t want you to be angry with me even though you have every right to be. I feel so stupid. I’m an idiot.”
He let her rest her face against his chest, letting her catch her breath before he forced her to finally look him in the eyes. His lips in a tight straight line.
“And I don’t know how to beg you not to leave me without feeling really guilty and dumb,” She continued, biting her cheeks to contain some composure, “even though I really want to.”
He was terrified to ask now. This may be the start of his worst nightmare. “What are you trying to sa-“
“I get this is starting to sound like I cheated on you and and I’m trying to beg for your forgiveness, now that I say this out loud but that’s not what this is.” She groaned. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m saying. Sorry… god.”
And he was so glad she cleared that up quickly before he had any doubt in his mind. That was really considerate.
Could a 23 year old man have a heart attack?
“Hey… come here. Don’t do that,” he pulled her hand away that was rubbing her eye raw, trying to fight back her tears. His hand was much more gentle, using his sleeve to his fitted suit to wipe her eyes and brow. What a mess. “I’m not going anywhere, so stop freaking out. Idiot.”
“I’ve been so stressed out.” She blurted out. It made Hikaru frown. “With all this stupid wedding stuff, and work, and school. I… I forgot to take the pill. I kept forgetting and I knew I kept forgetting but I thought I’d be fine because we’re both been so busy, we don’t spend that much time together anymore-“
“I'll drop out of school.” Hikaru added, frantically. “I’ll spend more time with you.”
“Hikaru.” Haruhi hid again, sheepish and feeling foolish. Her voice fading to just above a whisper he had to hold his breath to hear. “I’m pregnant. I… I told you I was on the pill still but to be honest, I forgot. A lot. And I didn’t tell you.”
“I didn’t think anything would happen.” She defended, but quickly felt that hallowing shame again. “But it did… I guess it happened when you came back from France. You were gone for a long time and I guess we had a little too much fun when you got back…” She rubbed her neck, flustered until it stung and her skin was red. He pulled her hand away for her. His silence was almost comforting. “I found out while you were away in Spain. I was just too scared to tell you... Because you said you weren’t sure if you wanted kids right away or if at all and… I mean, me neither but...”
Haruhi paused, afraid to see his expression. The heavy weight of dread had her almost pinned to the floor. “But I… I want to keep it.”
She started picking at her finger nails. He stopped her hands from fidgeting again, his were warm in comparison, while she felt a bit sick and clammy.
“And I don’t know how I’m going to feel if you don’t feel the same.” She finished, feeling weak in the knees.
She heard him breathing. Long and staggering breaths. She looked up when he let go of her hands, terrified he was trying to slip away, but his steps backwards just brought him to the bed, and he sat down with a awkward plop. The white fluffy duvet cover surrounded him in feathers.
He hid the ranging emotions on his face from her with his hand, he covered his mouth and sort of scratched his cheek. He opened his mouth and looked like he wanted to say something, but stopped.
“You don’t have to decide anything right now, I mean,” she started to say but paused, before continuing unsure. “… I don’t really need your help. If this is too crazy, or you’re not ready I could probably do this by myself. You don’t have to even have to visit, if you don’t want to.”
He lifted his head from his hands, one eyebrow tweaked, in astonishment. “Haruhi.”
“If you don’t want to get married yet, or anymore at all that’s fine,” her whole body started to squirm, and she picked at her nail polish until it chipped. “I’ve already thought about it. I’ll figure everything out. Girls do this all the time. I’ll just take some time off school-“
“Haruhi,” he said a bit firmer, and was quite honestly, offended. He stood up and bore through the sea sickness, and gut wrenching feeling. “it’s okay.”
She started to panic, and felt like she was grasping for straws, and every bit of last life line to their past life she could salvage. Her voice was constricting and even she could see through her own lies. “I’m not forcing you to do anything, and we can still be together. I’ll literally never ask you to do anything-“
“Haruhi.” He was astonished. She only stopped blubbering when he grabbed both her hands and jerked her forward, a bit rougher than he meant to but he had to quiet all the terrible awful things she had whirling around in her head
“At least give me a little grace.” He said, quietly. “You’ve known for 2 months, I’ve only known for 2 minutes. “
She exhaled, throat quietly trembling. “Oh god. Sorry. You’re right. I’m sorry. That was inconsiderate. I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing, please, it’s starting to feel like we’re fighting.” he pleaded, with a small chuckle of disbelief, scratching at his hairsprayed dome. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I would have been there for you.”
“You were in Spain.”
“I would have come back.”
She looked up at him, like he was stupid. “You were at work. It was important.”
“You’re important.”
Haruhi looked down. “It’s not what we talked about. You said you wanted to travel- See the world an’ stuff. I feel like I’ve messed everything up.”
“Okay? So?” He hunched over, and tilted her head just to meet her gaze until she started to smirk back at him. “I’m sure backpacks and hiking boots come in size baby or whatever. Babies are already travel size. Like those little candy bars.”
Haruhi snorted.
“I’m happy, Haruhi.” He said, eyes serious now, as he pushed all her bangs out of her face, tilting her head back in the process. “I’m really happy, I promise. I’m sorry you felt like this for so long, But everything’s gonna be okay. Alright? And tomorrow, when I stop feeling like I have diarrhea, I’m going to be so annoying to you and you’ll never be allowed to life anything heavy ever again, because that’s what supportive partners do right? I don’t know. I’ve never looked it up. But whatever you need, I’ll be there. Okay?”
Haruhi nodded. “Okay.”
He kissed her forehead, before letting her bangs fall and frame her pretty face again. The back of his finger creased her cheek, and when she all but tackled him over in hug so tight, it cured his racing heartbeat, and all the curly twisted knots in his stomach.
He really was starting to feel really, really happy.
Until he thought of something.
“Hey… you told Kaoru didn’t you? Before me?””
Haruhi winced, hissing between her teeth. “Yeah.”
“He probably told my mom.”
Her face grimaced. “Yeah.”
“So everyone outside probably knows.”
“That’s a very likely possibility.”
He was mortified.
“So I was the last one to know?” He sputtered in horror, “So Everyone knew about my kid before me?”
“… Sorry.”
“Oh my god.”
