Ms Laura @aldra13 - Tumblr Blog

call of the bae

My friend was walking and found this Godzilla toy in the Trash so he put a shirt on it, named him John, and then took him out to T.G.I. Fridays and then Dinner was on John.

tastefullyoffensive

Adoorable. (via corbin1)

elizabitchtaylor-deactivated202

In terms of pure pleasure, seeing people who have hurt me or wronged me fail in life ranks up there with cunnilingus and ice cream

aldra13

But where's the lie...

So usually I only do a single bottle of wine or a six pack or beer per “weekend” when I have my two days off but here I am, 2 bottles down, watching Girls via Kodi on the MXBox playing with my thick ass spit because between the booze and the Zevia grape soda that's how it’s gotten and it's kinda fun. So much for moderation today. At least laundry and dishes are getting done.

captainmarvel

Thanks. It has pockets!

- every girl ever responding to a compliment on a skirt/dress that has pockets (via nbronten)

@@@

(via vetmedirl)

mysticmisfit89-deactivated20140

Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..

stickystigmata-deactivated20190

No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.

bioticdisaster

And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.

ghirahim

moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.”

like, fuck off with that

fuzzyfishesandscaleymice-deacti

I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.

medie

They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.” Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people.

violent-darts

Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.

harukami

I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING

Moose are terrifying, you guys.

soulkind-blog

I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist.

I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside.

warsfeils-deactivated20200620

If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah.

Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month.

Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD.

Moose. MOOSE.

lovedsomuch

I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this.

teapotsahoy

The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that.

sputnikcentury

Moose confirmed for actual kaiju.

finnglas

Wait so if Trump wins, can we get Justin Trudeau to invite him to Canada and then throw him to the moose?

shoshanah-ben-hohim

The year after I graduated from college apparently a moose wandered into town and down the main street on Homecoming (Homecoming! HOMECOMING! Drunken college students everywhere!) My friend @mrsknightleysdays was still at school and she told me about it. People were less scared then the time a bear rambled around campus freshman year, probably because everyone was too drunk to know any better.

(Our school was very rural, in the mountains. The main street was the only street, pretty much, for context)

bead-bead-deactivated20190901

Please, tell us more tales of the moose, for I am an american, and thought them deer-sized.

jarfulofglassanimals

Yeah, moose is the most dangerous animal in Finland as well. When you have a country which is mostly nothing but forest, you bet your ass there’s quite a few of them.

I’ve lost count how many times I’ve seen one. There was this one time I was hiking and gotten so far that I was waiting my friends on the meeting point, and because I was early, I decided to have a nap. Some time later I woke up this loud WHOOSH WHOOSH SPLASH sound. Sounded like someone had decided to do butterfly strokes in the pond near me. But no. There was a moose and her two calves six meters from me trotting along the swampy shoreline. And I was like WHOA and sat up. And they freaked out, so I freaked out. Luckily I was on area where moose are hunted so the moose’s first reaction was to run. ‘Cause the cows can get aggressive when they have a calf.

And there are “moose warning” signs everywhere. Moose fences are built around roads, so that the animals can’t get on them on certain points. Except moose migrate. So if the fence is inconvenient for them, they might just jump over it. So now there are also tunnels and bridges built for the animals.

lemonsharks

Wait wait so they are bigger than elk????

star-anise

Yup.

tehjai

But they’re SO DELICIOUS.

aixela89

AHHH HELL NOO

robaemea-deactivated20180206

probably one of the scariest things ive ever experienced was when i was a passenger and my bf was driving his truck down the highway. we live far north in the middle of nowhere so our highway just cuts through endless forest for four hours basically. he was probably driving at 110 or 120, and we didn’t see them until they had run onto the highway in front of us- a huge moose and her calf

the mother crossed quicker, and they were so close we couldn’t stop and we drove IN BETWEEN THEM, and she was RUNNING ALONGSIDE THE TRUCK on the driver side, and the calf was RUNNING ALONG ON THE PASSENGER SIDE!! like im looking out the window at this fucking moose and so sure we’re going to die. they couldn’t have kept it up for more than a few seconds but it felt like they were running with the truck forever

FINALLY they break off from us and casually continue their jaunt across the road. and me and bf pulled over and commenced staring out the window silently in horror, then he drove the rest of the way white knuckled, both hands on the wheel at all times lmao… like im pretty sure the only reason we didn’t hit them was because we were in a large truck and they wanted to stay out of our way. they probably would have just trampled a car. anyway there you go. moose are huge and scary as fuck

archiemcphee

Who is that cheerful man with the adorably double-braided beard and why is he dressed up as a Japanese schoolgirl? Kotaku’s Brian Ashcraft has the scoop: This is Hideaki Kobayashi and he’s known (and rightfully so) as “Sailor Suit Old Man.”

Recently, Japanese sites and Twitter users in Tokyo have spotted an old guy dressed in a sailor style school uniform—a truly unusual sight to behold. People were amused. People were baffled. What the hell was going on?!

Japanese site IT Media met Kobayashi and asked him the question on everyone’s mind: Why do you dress like a Japanese schoolgirl?

“That’s a difficult question,” said Kobayashi. “It’s not really something I’ve thought too deeply about. Hrm. I guess it’s because sailor suits look good on me?”

We hope Mr. Kobayashi has some inkling of just how awesome he is. We can’t stop smiling as we look at these photos. Head over to Kotaku to learn more about “Sailor Suit Old Man,” our new hero of Japanese weirdness.

archiemcphee

Art + Science = Awesome Agar Art

This year that American Society for Microbiology (ASM) launched the Agar Art Contest. Members of the ASM were invited to create and submit pieces of art made using microbes creatively grown in petri dish canvases. The contest received over 80 entries the ASM announced the winners last week.

First place went to Neurons, submitted by Mehmet Berkmen of New England Biolabs, with artist Maria Penil. People’s Choice went to Cell to Cell, with almost 3,500 likes on the Facebook album. This image was also created by the group who won first place.

Our favorite entry is this Wibbly-Wobbly-Timey-Wimey TARDIS made of E. coli bacteria:

Visit the ASM Facebook page to check out all of the sciencetastic entries from the 2015 Agar Art Contest.

[via Junkculture]

zodiacsociety

Virgo traits: You’re not pushy, you’re just trying to help. You’re not so much controlling as you just know what work and what doesn’t work. People try to help but you already know. You are bright and smart and capable of so much with what little life may have given you. You know how to grow something even under a shadow patch.

boredpanda

20+ Of The Fluffiest Cats In The World

ijustlaughalot

Visit Original Link

thenarddog

createdd

I will never understand why this Christmas song goes so hard.

constantlycomic

OKAY MOTHERFUCKERS LISTEN UP

BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS NOT CAROL OF THE BELLS

IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE/SARAJEVO 12/24 AND IT IS SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN CAROL OF THE BELLS.

SO DURING THE BOSNIAN WAR (WHICH WAS THIS NASTY-ASS CONFLICT IN BOSNIA AND HERZGOVINA) THERE WAS THIS BADASS CELLO-PLAYING MOTHERFUCKER NAMED VEDRAN SMAILOVIC. HE WAS FROM SARAJEVO WAS UPSET ABOUT ALL THE SHIT AND NASTINESS THAT CAME ABOUT THROUGH THIS WAR (THIS WAS FULL-ON BROTHER-KILLING-BROTHER SHIT) THAT HE WENT AROUND TO BOMBED-OUT, BLOWN UP BUILDINGS AND FUNERALS—WHERE HE WAS AT RISK OF FUCKING SNIPER FIRE—AND PLAYING THE CELLO. THIS GUY WAS SO SET ON PROVIDING ONE TINY SPOT OF BEAUTY IN A SERIOUSLY NASTY WAR HE WAS RISKING BEING FUCKING SHOT OR BLOWN UP.

AND THIS IS THE GUY WHO INSPIRED THIS SONG.

HE’S WHY THERE’S THE CALM CELLO PART AT THE BEGINNING BEFORE EVERYTHING GETS ALL VIOLENT-SOUNDING. IT’S THEMATIC.

THAT’S WHY THIS CHRISTMAS SONG GOES SO FUCKING HARD.