Write Like Your Life Depends On It

I'm a college student. Writing helps me feel sane. I've always sounded better on paper. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm a mess with a pen.

[aleewrites]

Morning

Slits of sun through blinds,

Your eyes

Blink open.

Last night still rests

On my swollen lips.

Eyes still sore from tears.

Hair disheveled from

Tossing and turning

Ant hills into mountains.

She slept with me again,

Invading our bed and

My head.

Her comfortable agitation

Rested easily with my tired mind.

Quickly She tucked

Uncertainties, like blankets,

Around me.

In suffocation I cried out

Insecurities,

Doubts,

Accusations,

For help…

You held me, though

I did not deserve it.

She leaves with my consciousness.

Slits of sun through the blinds.

Your eyes find mine,

“Good morning.”

[aleewrites]

17

Golden

Fries and friendship.

Laughs in the back of the Steak ‘n Shake.

I like you.

18

Laughter and

Deeper thoughts.

Broken hearts;

Not ours.

We are asked if

We are on a date.

19

Talks of sex

Masturbation

What is your next move?

Do you drink alcohol?

Cigarette?

We’re adults.

20

Silly gifts

Plans to visit.

I am devastated.

He is comforting.

Is this,

Are we?

Love.

21

Eyes catch in the car.

Inches away but no

Touching.

Best friends,

Nothing more.

22

Futon rejected.

Crying,

Intertwined

On the floor,

I am in love with you.

23

Video dates and

Meeting of the families.

I will go anywhere

For you.

I do.

24

River and rings

Questions about commitments

Photos taken

I say yes.

25

In bed by

Ten p.m.

We are old,

Laughter.

I set my ring

On the bedside table;

Golden.

[aleewrites]

Moonlight whispers in darkened rooms

Made home by two romantics

Too young,

Too…

They love each other

Peace.

They love each other

Passion.

At what age does fire turn to warmth?

When do we stop burning?

Can we yet?

Or are we meant to burn,

Then simmer,

Then die.

I wonder what it’s like on the other side.

[aleewrites]

Nowadays

The first time you looked at me, With that side-eyed look of admiration Of love, My heart leaped into my throat, choking me. Nowadays you look at me and my heart glows, softly. The first time I grabbed your hand, I took a sharp inshale of courage and quickly, Clumsily, Locked your fingers in mine. Nowadays I grab your hand for courage. The first time I told you I loved you, I held my breath, My voice shook, My hands trembled, And I played it off as platonic. Nowadays I tell you I love you more. The first time we had sex I was deeply, heart-breakingly in love with you. Nowadays I kiss your cheek And kiss your nose And kiss your forehad And I love you, and I am in love with you But my heaert does not break. The first time we met, had someone said: "You will fall in love with him." "You will want to marry him." "You will do anything for him." I would have laughed, I would have said, "You've got the wrong one." Nowadays, I am in love with you. I want to marry you. I will do anything for you.

[aleewrites]

I'm in love and I don't want to ruin it by romanticizing it.

[aleewrites]

TMI TUESDAY

It’s been a while… Ask me what you want

[aleewrites]

We lay in blankets like children

Escaping from our harsh muddy pasts

Building a fort out of hope

And supporting it with love that lasts

I always have dreamt of your first name

Now I may be taking your last

I just wish we could be together

And forget all the time that has past.

[aleewrites]

Texts, from you.

Unnecessary, should-be-blocked number.

Goodbye.

Texts, again.

We don't talk anymore...

We didn't talk anymore.

You pull me back, like a riptide,

How can I let go of you.

Force me away,

Force me closer.

Drunk. 2 a.m.

Closer.

Wine weighs down my heart,

I stay in your shallow water,

You move around me,

Out to sea, in to me.

We don't love,

But we do make it...

Someone remind me, what's the difference?

[aleewrites]

Soft grips.

Caught lips.

Honest conversation.

Running hands through hair

With shallow investigation.

One kiss, two kiss, three kiss,

Four

Wrapping arms like closed doors.

Borrowed feelings

Bought emotions,

What's the difference in the moment?

Heart strings pulled through rings

And gentle winds sing.

New eyes, goodbyes, harder than before.

Just promise you will love me

When we open up the door.

[aleewrites]

Drunk texts Like love notes, Floating out to sea.

They are both found in an empty bottle.

[aleewrites]

We sit.  Top of the mountain. Perfect view. Hail storm. I rest my head on your shoulder, You kiss my forehead. 'We did it,' you said. I say nothing, just look at you. I am steady, on this rock, Your fingers interlaced with mine. I am falling.

Falling. Part 6.

[aleewrites]

Wet rocks, heavy rain, I slip,  You turn, Catching me in your arms. 'Are you falling for me now?' You laugh. I laugh... Maybe... You slap my ass,  To wipe the dirt off. It's real. It's cute. It's us.

Falling. Part 5.

[aleewrites]

Why are we still walking? Slowly, up a mountain. No jackets, heavy rain turning to... Yes, that is ice. My skin is red from the cold You grab my hand We continue to climb. Reckless, probably.

Falling. Part 4.

[aleewrites]

The rain follows us, Slowly. My thin t-shirt threatens To become a canvas for my body.  I run under a rock to breathe, You take out your phone, Just one picture, please. My face is embarrassed, My smile genuine, I look at you, not the camera lens.

Falling. Part 3.

[aleewrites]

Your feet slide down loose gravel, I pull you back up by the arm, Your hand covers mine. I briefly close my eyes. Terror? Bliss?  My heart pounds, I open my eyes and feel found.

Falling. Part 2.

[aleewrites]

TMI TUESDAY

It's been a while... Ask me what you want

[aleewrites]

You fell, ungracefully. You made a comment about Falling for me… I rolled my eyes, You grabbed my hand, We kissed in the red sand Of the mountain trail.

Falling. Part 1.