start / begin ➙ they either do or don't do an action, even if it is interrupted
somehow ➙ find a way to describe it or, if it matters that they don't know how something happened, make it its own sentence. somehow is very lackluster
that ➙ if the sentence makes sense after you remove it, do it
useless modifiers (really, very, certainly, probably, actually, quite, ...) ➙ emphasis on useless: many can be helpful, but many are not
dialogue tags ➙ don't cut them always, but you can leave them out or replace them with action tags for more variety
down / up ➙ often times they are not needed (I sat down vs. I sat)
wonder, think, realize, understand, feel ➙ especially in narration, these are signs of telling, not showing. Instead of "I wondered where he was." you can write "Where was he?"
"There is/was..." ➙ very formulaic and getting rid of as many as possible will make for more variety in sentence structures
Find your own! Every writer will have individual habits, so when you are proofreading your stuff, try to notice your own patterns.
Feel free to add onto this post :)
Disclaimer: these words definitely can be very useful when they are used intentionally, especially if they are not overused. When I say to "cut" these words, I mean to question whether they are strengthening or weakening the sentence in every instance.
[Prompt Calender: July 23rd, International Yada, Yada, Yada Day]
summary: cassie's back from ohio and at your front door.
warnings: slow burn, age gap (reader is 26, cassie is 42), angst, hurt, comfort, mutual pining/yearning, smut, oral (r!recieving), scissoring, dacryphilia (kind of), cuddling, service top!cassie, bottom!reader
word count: 3.5k
a/n: this series was named after and is inspired by the song crying during sex by ethel cain. so uh… yeah. that is all.
soundtrack ‧₊˚♫ ˊ⊹
MASTERLIST
Your eyes have to be playing tricks on you.
“Ca-cassie?” you whisper, feeling like you’re staring at a ghost.
The woman in front of you clasps her hands together and presses her lips together to form a smile. Her dimples pop perfectly into place, a detail you almost forgot about her. She’s wearing her green jacket, the shirt underneath is the one you wore the morning after your first and only night of loving passion.
Your brain is barely commuting that she’s here in front of you. Cassie’s here.
“Hey,” she murmurs, her voice like honey to your ears.
“Wha… what are you doing here?”
Cassie inhales sharply and takes a step closer to you, now just inches away. “I just…” Cassie lifts her hands like she’s about to cup your face before balling them into fists and dropping them to her sides. “Fuck,” she sighs. “I needed to see you. I’m done.”
“Done?”
“Done with Ohio. I’m moving back here. I don’t give a fuck about that fellowship. I miss seeing my son regularly. I miss my dad. I miss my usual AA meetings. I miss my job. I miss my house. I miss Pittsburgh. And I miss you,” Cassie lists breathlessly.
“But… what…” You swallow hard, your eyes glossy as you stare into Cassie’s ocean blue ones. “What does that mean?”
Cassie lets out a humorless laugh, her hands flying to her hips. “It means I can’t fight this any longer.” She lets out a shaky breath, her steady voice lowering into something more quiet and vulnerable. “I’m so sorry that I kept pushing you away instead of just dealing with my feelings.”
“You want to be with me?” you ask apprehensively, your voice trembling.
“Yes,” Cassie answers right away. “If you still want me.”
The grip you have on the door handle tightens, as does the ache in your chest. Your head is spinning, still in disbelief that the person your heart has been craving is finally right here. She’s right here and she wants you.
Unable to get any words out, you just nod.
With your silent confirmation, Cassie wastes no time with closing the distance. Her hands fly to your face, cupping your cheeks. The second her lips meet yours, it’s like a homecoming, every lingering doubt falling silent. Instinctively, you gently grab Cassie’s wrists, every piece of you settling back into place as you melt into her touch.
You walk backwards, Cassie following you into your apartment. Without breaking the kiss, she kicks your front door shut. You guide her further into your home as you pour everything you’ve been feeling into this frantic, warm, long overdue kiss.
“You came back,” you murmur against Cassie’s lips.
“I came back,” she echos, sure and glad.
Cassie caresses your cheeks before dropping her hands to your waist, gripping onto you like you’ll disappear any moment. She moves with you, all personal space gone. Blindly, you walk backwards to your bedroom. Cassie moans against your lips as you stumble into a wall. She then breaks the kiss momentarily, glancing over your shoulder before connecting her mouth back with yours.
Reversing the roles, Cassie now walks backwards, heading to your bedroom. The only other time she’s been in your room was on the Fourth Of July. It felt like years dragged on since then. But it also felt like that day happened yesterday, recalling so clearly how your limbs tangled together as you both drifted into a peaceful slumber.
“We don’t have to,” Cassie murmurs between kisses as the two of you enter your dim bedroom. “Do.” A kiss. “This.”
“You don’t want to?” you question, still kissing Cassie.
“I—” She’s cut off as you press your lips against hers, kissing you back for a few seconds before pulling back just enough to speak. “I don’t want you to—” Cassie shudders, your mouth finding her neck. “I-I don’t want you to feel like you have to. Or if you’re not ready.”
“Please,” you whisper against her neck, ready to beg if that’s what it takes.
“Are you sure?” Cassie asks, sliding her hands all over your back, remapping the space she’s worried she forgot.
“Mhm,” you hum against her skin.
“God.” Cassie sighs as she surrenders. “I miss you so much, baby.”
You whine in response, one of your hands holding the back of her neck while the other dances across the small of her back. Cassie walks you backwards to your bed as you continue to shower her neck in heated kisses, each one feeling like a silent vow.
When your knees hit the edge, you sit down. Cassie crawls onto the bed too, continuing to kiss you as she makes her way to the headboard. Once there, you gently push Cassie, her head falling against a pillow. Then you climb over Cassie’s body, tucking some hair behind your ears before leaning down and attaching your mouth on hers again.
Cassie’s hands wander under your shirt, running wild all over the surface of your back. She starts to tug the fabric up, going slow to allow you time if you want to stop. But you encourage her, bringing a hand to the bottom of your shirt to help Cassie remove the barrier.
After she throws it on the floor, you slide a hand under Cassie’s oversized t-shirt, your palm lightly pressing against her stomach. You can feel every little reaction coming from Cassie as your hand glides across her sensitive skin. Your fingertips hit the lower cup of her bra, wanting—no, needing more.
“Wanna feel you.”
Cassie closes her eyes and moans at your words, her nimble hands finding your ass. “Me too, baby.”
With Cassie’s eager permission, you remove her shirt, tossing it so far that it lands on your dresser, knocking over the jewelry tray that was sitting on the edge. You couldn’t care less though, your mind solely focused on Cassie.
She squeezes your butt, you involuntarily arching your back as she does. Your soft stomach is pressed flush against Cassie’s, your guys’ breathing able to be felt by the other. Cassie moans into your mouth, the sound shooting straight to your core.
“Let me take care of you,” Cassie pleads, pulling back enough to look in your eyes. She takes in your flushed appearance, your lips parted as you breathe in through your mouth. Cassie reaches up and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, her hand then holding your cheek. “Please, baby.”
“Okay,” you whisper, Cassie’s tender expression nearly making you cry.
Carefully, Cassie rolls you over so she’s on top. Then she hooks her fingers in the waistband of your pajama bottoms, glancing up at you before taking them off. Instead of removing your underwear next, Cassie reaches around her back and unhooks her bra, letting it fall off her chest.
“Cassie,” you whimper.
“I know,” she hums, offering you a smile. One of her hands finds your thigh, rubbing it soothingly. “Just relax.”
You nod and let your head fall back onto the pillow behind you. Cassie starts to remove your underwear—not urgently, but not slowly either. Once they’re off, Cassie takes a moment to admire you, imprinting the image of your bare form to her brain. Then she parts your legs, touching you like you’re something fragile she’s trying not to shatter.
Cassie leans down, hooking your legs over her shoulders. She then licks her lips and takes a breath before diving in. The second her mouth makes contact with your cunt, a cry escapes you. Your hips start rolling against Cassie, unable to stop your restless body. You fist the sheets and bite down hard on your lower lip, trying to hold out.
“You taste like heaven,” Cassie purrs, her hot breath hitting your sensitive clit.
Cassie’s tongue glides from top to bottom, finding home by your entrance. Her tongue pokes through, a broken moan falling from your lips at the gratifying feeling. One hand stays clutching the covers while the other flies to Cassie’s head. Your fingers tangle in her brownish red hair, guiding her motions.
Still working her mouth on you, Cassie blindly reaches up. Through half-lidded eyes, you spot her arm extending up to you. Releasing the sheets, you grab ahold of Cassie’s hand. She gives you a firm squeeze, her strong tongue thrusting in and out of you ravenously.
“You know I thought about you every single day, right?” Cassie mumbles against your pussy, the words barely intelligible.
“Me too,” you confess, a sharp gasp then escaping you as Cassie’s nose bumps your hardened clit.
“And—” A thrust. “I love you.”
Gripping onto Cassie’s hand and scalp tighter, you moan loud, her words turning you on far more than they should. You glance down to look at Cassie only to find her staring up at you. The sight of her between your legs could probably make you cum all on its own.
Your eyes start to get glossy again, overwhelmed by all the powerful feelings swirling inside of you. Cassie’s efforts grow more intentional, knowing how to push you across the finish line. Your hips buck up to her face, chasing your high. Cassie lets you, not caring that her breaths are shallow. She devours you like you’re her oxygen.
“Cass,” you whine as blissful and bittersweet tears pool in your eyes.
Cassie squeezes your hand as if to say I’m here, her movements never faltering. She goes faster. Harder. Determined to make you feel good.
The bridge of her nose keeps brushing against your clit, your hips grinding relentlessly onto Cassie’s face. With your orgasm only seconds away now, hot tears fall down your cheeks, overwhelmed in the best way.
“Gonna—”
Cassie moans into your cunt, letting you know she knows you’re right there. The vibrations of the intoxicating sound she let out heighten the ecstasy coursing through your veins. With one more thrust of her tongue, your legs clamp around Cassie’s head, and you climax.
Your back arches high off the bed as several high-pitched moans leave you. You’re gripping Cassie’s hair so intensely that you wouldn’t be surprised if you pulled out some strands. As pleasure courses through you, you squeeze Cassie’s hand bruisingly tight, your knuckles turning white. Your broken cries fill the room as you use Cassie how you need, your mind fuzzy.
Cassie doesn’t resist. She welcomes it.
Her tired tongue continues plunging in and out of you, swirling the determined muscle against your spongey walls. With purpose, Cassie angles herself so you can utilize her nose to get off, your arousal covering her whole face as she pants, her face red.
When Cassie can tell you’ve rode out your high completely, she pulls back and presses soft kisses between your thighs. She stays down there for a few minutes, kissing and sucking on your sweaty skin not hungrily, but affectionately.
Then Cassie climbs up your body, sensually and lovingly kissing all over your neck and face, expecting nothing in return. Your tired hands come up to the back of Cassie’s neck, holding her closer to you while she peppers you with adoring kisses.
“Baby,” Cassie coos, her hot breath in your ear. “Do you think you have one more in you?” she asks breathlessly and without pressure, letting you take the lead.
“Mhm,” you whine, never going to max out on Cassie.
She kisses your cheek, and then wipes a tear away with her tongue, leaving your skin wet with her saliva rather than your salty tears. Your eyes close, cherishing the feeling of Cassie’s warm body on you.
She surprises you with a kiss on your lips, you instantly melting into it. You can taste yourself on her, the smell of your arousal woven into her face. When Cassie breaks the kiss, she sits up, rubbing her thumbs over your hips before climbing off of you.
“C’m’here,” Cassie murmurs softly, grabbing your hand.
Cassie helps you sit up too. You watch as she moves silently, kicking off her jeans and boxers quicker than you can process, still feeling hazy from your orgasm less than three minutes ago. Then Cassie sits against the headboard, motioning for you to come over. When you’re in reach, she grabs your waist, eagerly tugging you onto her lap. You glance down between your bodies, Cassie’s slick glistening in her dark curls from only eating you out.
“Baby,” Cassie coos, your eyes raising to meet hers. “Here,” she says, gripping your right thigh to move your leg under her left one.
You hold onto Cassie’s shoulders, letting her move you how she pleases. Once your leg slides under Cassie’s thigh completely, you moan and dig your fingernails into her skin, your pussies colliding.
“Is that comfortable?” Cassie asks you as she looks up at you with the most adorable puppy eyes you’ve ever seen.
“Yeah,” you reply, hooking your ankle around her waist.
Cassie’s palms spread across your lower back, keeping you close. “You gotta adjust to find the right angle, okay?” Cassie tells you gently. “Move around for me.”
You nod, and then look down. You wiggle around to find what feels best, Cassie not moving as you do. Just looking at your cunt touching Cassie’s is making you more soaked than you already are, your arousal building without any actual friction.
As you adjust slightly, your clit hits Cassie’s crotch in a way that sends pleasure down your spine. You moan, Cassie pushing you forward to encourage you. Your body takes over, beginning to grind against her.
“That’s it,” Cassie mutters, a groan leaving her after she gets those two words out.
You wrap your arms around Cassie’s shoulders, leaning even closer to her. She meets your movements, grinding in sync with you. Wet, lewd squelches fill the room along with both of your heavy pants. The sounds circling the air around you fuel your desire, your hips starting to move quicker.
“I’m serious,” Cassie mumbles, then moaning as your clits bump.
“Hm?”
“I love— mmph— you. And I’m not just saying that because I’m— oh, fuck— having s-sex with you.”
You moan before telling her, “I know.”
Cassie leans forward, kissing your collarbone, her tongue dragging across the slender bone. “I don’t want you to ever think I don’t love you, baby.”
Tears begin to well in your eyes again, Cassie’s words hitting you deep inside your heart. This is all you’ve ever wanted.
You drop your head to Cassie’s shoulder, hiding your face from her. “I know,” you repeat, your voice breaking both due to a moan and emotion. “I love you too,” you tell Cassie, then kissing her shoulder.
Keeping one hand on your lower back, Cassie brings the other to your head, cradling the back of it. “Hey, hey, hey,” she hushes, stroking your hair while continuing to rub her heat against yours, though, her movements slow a little. “Look at me.”
A single tear falls, landing on Cassie’s freckled shoulder. You left your head, your pink and swollen lips parted as you breathe heavily through your mouth. When you lock eyes with Cassie, your hips instinctively twitch, your drenched folds jutting up into hers. Cassie tilts her head, affection and love being sent to you through her gaze.
With her thumb, Cassie brushes away the stray tear that rolls down your cheek. She gives you a soft smile, her lips parting seconds later as a moan spills out. You grip Cassie’s back, clinging onto her like she’s the first deep breath after being underwater too long, nearly drowning.
“I’m almost there,” you whimper, your hot core grinding against Cassie’s faster.
“Me too,” she cries, her knees buckling straight as her coiling release creeps up.
Cassie leans forward, pressing a fleeting kiss to your lips, then on the corner of your mouth. When she pulls back, her grayish blue eyes meet yours right away. As Cassie holds your gaze, it’s like she’s cracking your soul open, what’s spilling out is raw grief, love, and hope all tangled together.
“You’re so pretty when you cry,” Cassie whispers hoarsely, her thumb brushing away tears you didn’t even know were falling. “You’re always so pretty.”
You nuzzle into her hand and whimper as your climax begins to boil over. Cassie can tell, making an extra effort to rub her pussy harder against yours. You cry out and moan as you see stars, your whole body shaking.
Seeing and feeling you come undone like this is what sends Cassie over the edge. She desperately moans your name, her hand on the small of you back pulling you impossibly close as she ruts her cunt into yours. Cassie’s shuddering release reaches every nerve, all the pent-up tension in her body gone. Her eyes try and flutter shut, but she wills them open, needing to look at you. She’s so close to you that she can faintly see her reflection in your eyes.
Once your orgasm fades, your body grows limp. Feeling the change, Cassie guides you to the mattress, setting you on your back before collapsing too. Her breathing is still ragged, not as in shape as she used to be. Your shoulder touches Cassie’s, the subtle contact a reminder that she’s here.
After a minute of silence and recovery, you roll onto your side to face Cassie. She turns her head, a sweet smile breaking out on her lips as she meets your gaze. You’re quiet for a few long moments, finding the courage and words to say what’s on your mind. Cassie lets you gather your thoughts, her kind eyes reassuring.
“Are you really not going to leave?” you whisper, terrified of the answer.
Cassie’s face immediately softens more than it already was. Her brows pull together as she turns onto her side, your eyes dropping to the sheets instead of her.
“Baby,” she murmurs as she places a hand on your arm, that single word making your heart flutter. “Hey,” Cassie softly says, her other hand finding your chin, gently tipping your head up to look at her again. “I’m not leaving,” she tells you firmly. “I’m staying right here. I’m sorry that I left in the first place and for putting distance between us. Even before I moved, I created space and pushed you away, and I’m so sorry.”
You grab ahold of Cassie’s wrist, feeling the beat of her pulse with your thumb. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“I’m still mad,” you admit. “And hurt. But I also want to forgive you— I am starting to already. I just don’t want to be hurt again.”
“I promise I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe from that.”
Your eyes sting with tears that don’t fall. “I believe you,” you whisper, your features softening and the corner of your lips curling upwards.
It feels like a weight’s been lifted off of Cassie’s chest. She lets out a relieved breath, a smile then settling on her face. The hand Cassie has on your arm drops to your waist, gently pushing you to her.
You scoot closer to Cassie, her arms immediately enveloping your frame. You bring a leg over Cassie’s while one of your hands finds her side, resting on her bare skin. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world, you lean forward and kiss Cassie’s forehead, then the tip of her nose, and finally her lips.
When you pull back, Cassie pecks a final kiss to your mouth before settling into her space. “I don’t want to be away from you like that again. It hurts too damn much to miss you,” Cassie confesses as she grabs one of your hands, kissing your knuckles. “Being torn away from Harrison when he was little was a different kind of pain, one only a mother can experience, but I still felt that same empty, aching hole— just in another part of my heart.”
You nod, recalling months and months ago, not long after you first met when Cassie mentioned that she temporarily lost custody of Harrison. It’s reassuring to know that you’re that intertwined with Cassie’s life. With Cassie. Like you’re a part of her.
“I’m just glad you came back home.”
“Me too,” Cassie says before kissing the back of your hand again.
She then rolls onto her back, her arms still around you. Once she’s settled, you curl up against Cassie’s side. She loosens her hold on you so you can get comfortable, but the second you still, her hold on you strengthens. You let out a content sigh and trace the freckles on her chest with your pointer finger, able to feel her heart beat.
“I love you a lot, Cass,” you whisper. “You make me feel seen. And safe.”
Cassie closes her eyes, fighting back tears. “I love you too,” she whispers back. Cassie then kisses the top of your head, your hair tickling her nose. “So much.”
You curl up more, draping a leg just below Cassie’s waist. Her fingernails dance across your back soothingly, comforting you without words. Your body fits so perfectly against hers, like it knows it belongs there.
Yes I think that Baran Al-Hashimi has the most gorgeous cursive you have ever seen in your entire life but her actual handwriting is chicken scartch. Fully illegible. Yes I think she is a Do Not Disturb warrior and only has three tabs open at any given time and they're ALL for a research article. If she wants to buy something online or Google a fact or quote she is opening that tab, doing her business, and immediately deleting it. Yes I think she has one of those privacy screen protectors that turns black when you tilt the phone and yes I think her phone brightness is always at 0% and Trinity launches some crazy rumors about what she's doing on that phone because why tf is it so locked down. And also I firmly believe she can type 130 wpm and is definitely smug about it and it most certainly sounds like rain pummeling a metal tin when Dr. Al-Hashimi gets near a keyboard because she's smashing the fuck out of those keys and yes I believe the med students come up with some kickass nicknames for her because of that
this post will be added to and edited, this is just all the stuff i pulled so far (i’m writing, working, and chronically ill, so i apologize if i forgot to include anything important. i’ve already spent hours compiling what i have). some of the things included in this list are roles fiona has played— this is not to say that because she portrayed x that means she believes y. i think that her consistent choice in roles is very telling though which is why i mentioned a couple of them.
first off, i believe that fiona is registered as an independent. it’s clear where she stands on basic issues and human rights. her political beliefs lean heavily democratic, however, i wouldn’t say that she’s a liberal.
it’s also important to note that fiona is a chronically offline, occasionally tone deaf 44 year old white woman. some things she may have said or liked might not have intentionally been with ill-intent. i mean she literally follows clavicular 💀 this tweet of hers could explain fiona following or interacting with conservative content—
endorsed political candidates
- kamala harris
- elizabeth warren
- michael shellenberger
in this article, fiona talks about how to help the homeless and mentally ill (something that is very personal to her), and supports shellenberger’s plan for change. he used to be democratic, but started identifying as an independent in 2022.
anti-trump
fiona has been vocally anti-trump for years.
anti-ice/pro-immigration
- has posted against mass deportations and ice. (i do not have screenshots of her past instagram stories about this, so you can either choose to believe it or not).
- was involved with an ice storyline in the pitt that’s based off of what’s currently happening in the u.s. the plot line depicted the reality of ice, specifically in healthcare.
fiona when asked about the ice storyline on the pitt.
lgbtq+
- she’s attended pride and has made posts in support of lgbtq+ rights.
- she played diane jones, a real-life lesbian and activist, in the series when we rise which is specifically centered around the history of lgbtq+ rights.
misc activism
- in 2020 she attended a blm protest in support of george floyd
- pro gun control
- promoted getting the covid vaccine
- participated in the 2023 sag-aftra strike and still advocates for better pay for actors
- supported free assange
julian assange was arrested for publishing hundreds of thousands of classified u.s. military and diplomatic documents that exposed controversial details about the wars in iraq and afghanistan.
- marched with the democratic organization sftp
sftp believes that science is inherently political and advocates for progressive policies, environmental equity, and community-led science that serves the people rather than big corporations.
- encourages voting
- she’s a fierce advocate for mental health & the homeless. there’s a lot of proof of this that’s easily accessible, so i’m not going to attach too much about it in this post. here is fiona’s essay i previously linked.
ending notes
if there’s anything inaccurate, please let me know so i can fix it. my intention is not to “glaze” fiona or show her in a positive light, but rather to share unbiased information. of course, my biases might shine through, and there’s stuff i may have forgot or didn’t come across, hence why i’m open to what others have to add. i’m only one person who worked on this list alone.
to wrap up this post, here’s a quote from fiona’s recent flaunt magazine interview.
Title from If You Lie Down With Me by Lana Del Rey
Emery Walsh x Cassie McKay. NSFW MDNI
Plot Summary: Cassie said it herself, she needs to get laid and we all know that she definatly went on a date after fireworks. What if by date we meant a visit to the not so friendly, local, firework hating surgeon Emery Walsh??? Oral sex, strap ons, subby Cassie, biting, Mcvadi reference, can be read as vetran Emery or concerned cat mum Emery
Authors Note: Written for Fireworks prompt of @pitt-yuri-week
Let us thank Dr Emery Walsh for her service - pulling Cassie's chain, biting those arms, fufilling Cassie's munch needs. She did that for all us. True American hero 🫡🫡🫡
Emery hates fireworks. Too loud, too sudden. It’s why she usually works July 4th and takes refuge in the OR where they’re safely drowned out. When the rota for this year came and she found herself with the night off the selfish part of her won out, amused to have been freely given a holiday she couldn't care less about and watch others scramble for shift swaps. At least it meant she could be tucked up at home with her babies rather than anxiously checking the kitty cam every chance she got, worrying the loud noises would spook her two tuxedo cats. She's confident the three of them have made it through the worst of the nights celebrations thanks to Independence Day, snacks, thc gummies for herself and catnip for her darlings. She's contemplating sleep before any more fireworks start up when a more unexpected bang lands on her door. A firm but hurried knocking sound. Emery groans and makes no effort to move, assuming its kids messing around or a mistaken delivery. She's not going to risk curtain twitching to find out. The knocking comes again and she sighs. This better be important. She heads down the hall, jaw clenched already prepared to tell Yolanda to take her situationship problems elsewhere. The words "fuck off" die on her tongue when she opens the door to Cassie Mckay.
The night air is laced with sulphur and smoke. Cassie looks shattered. Red rings her eyes and her hair is shaggily engulfing her face. Her outfit, however, is doing wonders for her. The tank top is showing off the toned biceps Emery's left indents of her nails in more than once. Cassie is shaking her head as if she can’t believe she’s here either.
"Today's been a shitshow."
Emery wordlessly steps back and holds the door open for Cassie to come in.
"And so you came here?" Cassie stands in the hallway feeling at odds with the neatness of Emery's home.
"I'm sorry. I just didn't know where -" Emery cuts her off by stepping into Cassie's space, a slither away from being chest to chest, nose to nose.
"You know fine well why you came here, McKay." Cassie looks up at Emery through the mess of her fringe.
"I need..." She exhales the words like they’re fighting to escape. Her eyes close in ashamed, frustrated confession. "I need someone. Please."
They’ve played this game after plenty of hard shifts but there’s a crack in Cassie's voice that tells Emery she needs it more than usual. A firework crackles and hisses in the distance. Perhaps Emery could use the distraction.
~~
Emery drops a pillow to the floor, without hesitation Cassie kneels. Must have been a bad day, Emery thinks, noting the absence of a witty comment or huff. Knelt on Emery's bedroom floor Cassie shrinks, shedding the last scraps of tough Dr McKay. Emery stands over her, twisting a lock of Cassie's sweaty hair playfully.
"Still no luck on Operation Cradle Snatcher then?" Emery gives a faux sympathetic pout. Ahh, there's the burning McKay stare. Cassie's blue eyes cloud with a bitter storm and pierce up at Emery, unnecessarily confirming she’d chickened out of making a move on Victoria, again.
"I got asked out twice today, actually."
Emery laughs, holding Cassie's head through the thick locks of her hair. "And yet here you are."
Cassie softly butts her head against Emery's thigh, the other woman caressing her hair. She bumps and nuzzles her nose at hem of Emery's cotton shorts.
"I wan-need this." Cassie drinks in the fact that Emery's skin smells of coconut lotion rather than hospital for once. The faint musky promise of being between Emery's legs makes her tingle. Emery clucks her teeth and coos again at Cassie, messily roughing her hair like she's an eager puppy. Their usual back and forth, all sharp barbs and power struggles, thrills Emery but when Cassie is in this pliant, almost pathetic state it’s truly something else and Emery feels the heat pooling in her. She bemusedly watches Cassie shifting on her knees, knowing the needy doctor is seeking the friction of her jeans' seam.
"I can see that." Emery stares down just as a flash outside showers the room in yellow light. Cassie feels the way Emery's leg jerks at the accompanying boom. When Cassie gets in this mood, she wants to feel needed, like she's doing something good that can't be taken away by some outside force or cruel twist of fate like usually happens at work. If Emery needs a distraction from the fireworks, then Cassie will give her it.
That distraction involves continuing her nose and lips trail upwards until she lands her face square into Emery's crotch. She can hear herself panting and Emery chortling from above. "That what you need?" She pushes her clothed core into Cassie's face, finding herself shuddering with surprise when Cassie’s mouth latches on to the fabric, wringing the dampness from it as she makes needy little whines, still trying to grind on the course fabric of her own clothes. Emery has never seen Cassie so desperate, blue eyes pleading up at her as she mouths more at Emery's sleep shorts. Emery thrusts her hips again.
"This what you want McKay? This what you’re here for?"
Cassie whines, not a soft ugh but a full high-pitched whine like she's being denied what’s rightfully hers. She's kissing Emery's shorts with a sloppy open mouth that only encourages Emery to grind them further into her face.
"Pussy." Cassie whisper it’s like a sacred prayer "Want yours Em, need it." She looks up again with her pitiful eyes, damp fabric in her teeth, Emery would never be so heartless as to deny her.
"Take it then."
Cassie doesn't even remove Emery's clothes. She pushes the cotton aside, finding Emery bare and wet beneath her shorts and dives her tongue in like it’s the first time she's eaten in days. Emery steadies herself against the force of Cassie's eagerness by gripping her dark locks. Cassie whimpers appreciatively at the tug on her roots, licking Emery's folds with the enthusiasm of eating ice cream on hot days. Emery leans back to brace herself against her vanity, hooking one leg over Cassie's strong shoulder to give her even better access. Cassie wastes no time tonguing her way inside Emery, sweet little upturned nose pressing on the surgeon’s clit and hand pushing Emery’s shorts out of her way.
The only way to describe Cassie’s actions is obsessive. Even when Emery lightens her grip on her hair, Cassie remains firmly pressing her tongue amongst Emery wetness. Emery tastes like escape and moans out the praise Cassie’s needed to hear all day. That’s why she came here. Emery’s approval can be hard won but its worth it when it comes in the form of her heel digging in Cassie’s back, urging her to keep her mouth where it is. Watching Cassie’s eyes flickering with happiness and the dopey smile she makes reminds Emery of an intoxicated woman. Every glide of her mouth and tongue is velvety heaven and prompts Emery to roll and grind her hips in time with Cassie’s movements, feeding her what she needs,
“Greedy little thing aren’t you.” Emery’s finger brushes Cassie’s cheek when she finally remembers to stop for air. Her face is gleaming wet and returns to between Emery’s legs so quickly Emery gasps, more pleasure riding up her spine and shaking her. Cassie’s sucking at her clit like she wants to suck Emery dry, whining like a babe. She has her mouth firmly round Emery's nerves but her own body is writhing uncontrollably, seeking more friction than the seam of her clothing can offer.
Emery’s head tips back and her nails scrape Cassie’s scalp locking her in place as her orgasm hits with firework like sparks. The long-buried addict in Cassie refuses to let her quit, releasing her suction on Emery’s clit only to hungrily kiss it. She looses herself in the tremble of Emery’s leg on her shoulder, the delicious bite of her hands on her head and dips her tongue in Emery once more so it’s covered in the taste of her slick. A firm groan and sharp pull of her hair break her from her haven. Emery’s dark eyes are heavy with lust. She releases Cassie from the grip of her leg but the blue-eyed woman remains knelt before her, staring up in a daze of want.
“Good?” Emery raises her eyebrow as if she'd cooked Cassie dinner. Cassie nods, hypnotised when Emery’s finger slips under her gold chain, tugging on the metal to coax her off her knees. Emery strips Cassie of her tank and bra quickly, harshly, pushing her jeans and boxers down in one but not without spotting the tell tale puddle on the fabric.
“Aw, someone cum in her pants already?” She kisses Cassie’s blushing cheek and files the incident away for the next time she's feeling particularly mean. Emery pulls again on Cassie’s chain, reeling her in for a kiss that tastes too much like herself and not enough like Cassie’s usual cracked lips. “What do you want, McKay?”
Cassie is tired of questions. She’s tired of responsibility without reward, her lonely bed and the empty ache in her.
“Anything you’ll give me.” She chokes out, swimming in the feeling of Emery caressing the back of her neck. The surgeon’s hand stops and tightens, not choking but a firmness that forces Cassie to look at Emery.
“Strap?” Cassie drools and agrees, letting Emery walk her back until she can push her onto the bed.
~~
Emery’s breath is hotter than the July air, landing on Cassie’s face as she teasingly hovers over her. She’s tortuously nudging the strap at Cassie’s clit, smugly eating up every time Cassie begs for more.
“You’re a mess, McKay.” Her words should be harsh but she whispers them in a soft cotton candy voice a woman as hardened as Emery has no business having. Cassie is flushed red and sweaty, her tired eyes tearily pleading. Emery mercifully hooks Cassie’s leg around her hip. The domed head of her strap slides into Cassie’s waiting hole and Emery watches her body swallow the toy. The empty ache Cassie is tired of, dissipates when Emery is fully sheathed in her. Its not just the delicious stretch and fullness, it’s the weight of Emery on top of her, the way Emery grips her hip and manhandles Cassie into adjusting to her length. Like being both desired and used, like Cassie is enough just by existing in Emery’s bed with her legs spread. Emery begins thrusting her hips, fucking into Cassie slowly to appreciate how she whimpers as she pulls away and groans when pushes in.
“More.” Cassie’s eyes fall closed and her swollen lips wobble with each jolt of Emery’s hips.
Unusually obliging, Emery speeds up without any taunting, choosing instead to relish how Cassie’s breasts bounce with each thrust. Under Emery’s eyes the red flush on Cassie’s cheeks spreads down her chest and she writhes at the feeling between her legs and the burn of Emery’s appraising eyes. Emery can easily fill her hands with Cassie’s breasts and push them together, creating the perfect crevice to burry her face in. Her hips slow so she’s merely circling them, grinding the toy round Cassie’s walls and letting her focus on kissing the freckles that dust Cassie’s boobs, like sparkles bursting in the night sky.
“Emm..mmm.eryy” It never fails to make Emery laugh how incomprehensible she can render Cassie. It gives her satisfaction, knowing Cassie needs the relief of being broken down and permitted to be needy. It’s evident in the buck of her hips under Emery, urging her to return to fucking her. Emery runs her tongue up and along Cassie’s collar bone, swiping the sweaty skin beneath her gold chain. The closer she moves, the deeper her strap presses in Cassie right against the delicate spot that makes her mewl even more.
“Legs round me.” Emery’s voice drops low in Cassie’s ear and she instantly complies, ensnaring Emery’s hips with her legs as Emery braces her hands either side of Cassie’s toned arms. She pulls out agonisingly slow, forcing Cassie to feel every false vain and grove of her cock and waiting for a desperate please to cry out before she slams back in. There’s a sickening loud slap of wet skin on skin, peppering Cassie’s gasps and cries. Off in the distance another flurry of fireworks bursts and Cassie swears Emery speeds up in response, wanting the sound of Cassie’s pleasure to drown them out.
“Gonna cum for me McKay? That what you need?” Her pelvis is grazing Cassie’s clit and she pushes herself as close as she can, switching to short sharp movements she knows from the way Cassie sounds are hitting that spot.
One of Emery’s slender fingers sneaks to the wet mess where their bodies meet and rolls the hard nub of Cassie’s clit. Emery’s pressed so low and tight to Cassie she thinks she might disappear into the plush of the mattress. Her head finds itself too temptingly near Cassie’s bicep and Emery nips the muscle between her teeth. The sharp pain of the bite, the overwhelming sense of Emery in her, surrounding her, relentlessly pleasuring her makes Cassie explode into shakes and cries. At long last the tears she’s needed to release all day dribble down her face as Emery coaxes her through each shock. With tiny kisses and increasingly slow, gentle thrusts Emery continues until Cassie is too limp to hold her legs around Emery any longer and has turned silent save for the tears Emery licks from her face.
~~
Harness discarded, Emery smooths Cassie’s unruly curls and rocks her in her arms, gently lulling her back down from her high, until those glassy ocean eyes open and a satiated smile dances on her lips.
"Must have been one hell of a shitshow.' Emery breaks the silence and Cassie groans at the mere thought of the day she's had.
“You don’t have to tell me about it.” In part because Emery doesn’t want to think about what fall out she might have deal with on her next shift. But equally, Cassie looks halfway to sleep and even more wrecked than when Emery answered the door.
“Come on, you can wash it all away in the shower.” Emery says, forcing herself out of bed and dragging Cassie up with her, resisting the urge to make fun of her wobbly legs.
Emery falls asleep easier than she thought, the odd pop of fireworks dampened by Cassie’s soft snores and sighs. Cassie thought today would never grant her a time to rest but finds it in the tangle of Emery’s arms. It’s a simple no questions asked routine neither of them quite remember starting nor have ever sought to end. In each others bodies they rediscover what their jobs suck from them. Its a safe release for the pressure built up by endless demands and ailing love lives. A beautiful controlled explosion, like fireworks.
AU in which Baran shows up to the ED dressed to the nines because she was out with her friends when someone at the bar collapsed and she rode in the ambulance with them (and Cassie can't stop staring)
