Writers have two modes and they are "i haven't written in three weeks and i am rotting from the inside and everything feels wrong and i don't know who i am anymore" and "i wrote for four hours straight and forgot to eat and it's dark outside and when did that happen and i feel like a god" and there is nothing in between. no chill. no medium setting. just famine or feast and a very confused nervous system.
... well.. can't be alone in this, now i need to know which Ao3 tag you are @samirasystole @vaguedisapproval @mohabbot-enjoyer @santospilled @rose-in-red and the newest moot @highest-violet 🫶
(no pressure... 👉👈 + haven't tagged everyone #stressed but feel free to do it ofc !)
a tweet of mine took off and its upsetting that people haven’t made cassie and chloe fuck behind chad’s back yet (except for that one soul thank youuu so much) soooo…
“Oh, um..” You mutter, nodding quickly as you clasp your hands together tightly. This whole situation is like somebody dragging their nails along a chalkboard. “Yes, I’m—I’m her mom.”
Cassie nods, moving over to the computer and busies herself with it, her voice clipped and flat when she speaks. “Her chart says she had a fever of…102 before coming in?”
“Yeah, her sitter called me. I left work for this, so..” You trailed off, shrugging weakly. “She, uh..she said she was coughing, and—and couldn’t keep anything she ate or drank down.” You swallowed, rubbing the sweat off your palms and onto your slacks.
“She’s—she’s never gotten this sick before, so I’m just..” You paused, shaking your head. You’ve lost your own sense of security at this point, your words like a waterfall tumbling over a cliff, or like a plate of food going splat!against the floor. “I’m kind of just really fucking freaking out.”
tagging uhh @csoorin and @cherxwine (no pressure at all !!) (kinda dont know how this works #lol)
mcshimi but it’s cassie in complete awe watching baran ride her strap.
brain malfunctioning so intensely because there’s a literal goddess above her
and baran is rolling her hips and grinding down and there’s these tiny, strained, breathless sounds coming out of her each time she does
cassie doesn’t know what to do with her hands, roaming over so much free skin to touch and caress and grip
and she does not know who she has to thank for this sight as baran throws her head back, the delicious curve of her neck and the way it pushes her tits out and cassie just has to careen up to greet them with her mouth
summary: You tend to stare at cassie a lot without realizing. Unfortunately for you, most of the pitt staff is far too observant for their own good. OR, 4 times your coworkers caught you staring at cassie + 1 time she caught you staring back.
pairing: cassie mckay x female!reader
word count: 3k
a/n: i was in desperate need to write some cute cassie fluff, after spending the entire last week with a fever caused by an ear infection and a sore throat AND still going into work!!! So this was what came out of it <3
1.
It all started near the nurses’ station, during hour four of a twelve hour shift.
Cassie stood near one of the trauma room doors consulting with an attending about a discharge plan. Her black scrubs were slightly wrinkled from moving around, her jacket sleeves were pushed up to her elbows, and her arms were crossed tightly over her chest while she listened intently to what was being said.
A few loose strands of hair had escaped her short braid, framing her tired face, and somehow the exhaustion only made her look unfairly more attractive than she already was.
You stood at the nurses station, a tablet balancing loosely around one of your hands, the screen showcasing a half-finished patients chart opened on it, as your fingers stopped and hovered over it.
Dana stood beside you, sipping her coffee from her cup, like it was the only thing keeping her standing at the moment. Technically, you were supposed to be charting. But in reality, your attention and your gaze had drifted all the way across the ED.
To where Cassie was.
Dana slowly lowered her coffee cup, her gaze flicking from you to Cassie and then back again. One of her eyebrows lifted so high up in her forehead she could’ve sworn it disappeared into her hairline. The corner of her mouth twitched like she was fighting for her life not to smirk.
“Hey, kid.”
You startled so bad you nearly dropped the tablet you held in your hands straight onto the nurses station countertop. But your grip tightened around it on the very last second before it could, a relieved exhale escaping you. Your eyes were wide when you finally looked at Dana.
Dana barely even looked at you, not shaken in the slightest by your sudden outburst, as she continued. “Quit making eyes at McKay and finish your charting.”
That was all it took for your whole face to turn into a crimson shade of red, as you pretended to busy yourself with anything you could. “I was not making eyes—”
Dana finally turned her head to look at you, giving you a long stare. “You keep staring at her like that,” she took another slow sip of her coffee,“I’m gonna have to file an incident report.”
A snort came from nearby.
Emma who was standing a few feet away, sorting over medical supplies, quickly covered her mouth with her hand when your attention snapped in her direction.
You groaned, dragging a hand down your face before desperately pretending to scroll through the patients file on the tablet.“I was just going to consult with her.”
Dana’s grin widened immediately as she looked at you over her cup. “Is that what you kids are calling it these days?”
"Dana!” you whimpered, your voice muffled as you dropped your head into your hands. “It's not like that."
The older nurse let out a quiet laugh under her breath, entirely unconvinced by your words.
Across the ER, Cassie glanced over at the sound of the small commotion. Your eyes met for exactly one second, before you looked away so quickly you almost gave yourself whiplash.
Beside you, Dana absolutely lost it.
“Oh,” she cackled, pointing her coffee cup at you “you are down bad.”
2.
Santos noticed because Santos notices everything.
Trauma Two still smelled faintly like iron and antiseptic after the disaster of a case you’d just wrapped up. The room was a mess of discarded packaging, stained gauze, and a lingering exhausted silence now that the adrenaline had finally worn off out of all of you.
You stood near the bed, stripping off the now bloody disposable gown, and peeling off your gloves, throwing them into the overflowing bin in the room. Across from you, Santos mirrored your actions with her ever so sharp efficiency, despite the fatigue written all over her face.
Just outside the room, Cassie stood by the PURELL hand sanitizer dispenser on the wall. She rubbed the sanitizer over her hands slowly, staring down at her hands like she was someplace else entirely. The lights of the ED washed her out slightly, making her exhaustion more evident now. Her shoulders looked tense beneath her scrubs, her jacket was now gone, discarded on the back of a chair in the nurses station somewhere.
You caught yourself staring at her again.
From her tensed shoulders, to the way she flexed her fingers, after rubbing them clean, like her hands hurt. To the way she lingered standing there, just for a second too long, her eyes closing briefly while she clasped her hands together tightly, like she was trying to pull herself back together before moving to the next patient.
Your chest twisted worriedly at that.
“Will you just ask her out already?”
You inhaled so sharply you nearly choked on nothing but air.
“Santos!”
“What?” She answered, shrugging while tossing her bloody gloves into the trash. “I'm just saying. You stare at her like a Victorian man seeing ankles for the first time.”
“I do not.”
Santos slowly turned towards you then, her lips pursing and her eyebrows furrowing in her forehead has she looked you over with complete disbelief written across her face.
“You absolutely do.”
You groaned as one of your hands came up to the brim of your nose. “Oh my god.”
A laugh threatened to escape Santos, but she swallowed it down as she moved towards the sanitizer dispenser by the door, pumping some of it into her palm.
“Oh, and for the record,” she added casually, as she rubbed her hands together. “McKay definitely stares back.”
Your head snapped up so fast your neck almost cracked.
Santos, who looked like she was expecting a reaction of the sort, smirked.
“Yeah,” she said, “thought that might get your attention.”
3.
Cassie had fallen asleep in the break room during her small break. That alone felt unnatural enough to make you stop in your tracks as you walked past it.
She had one of her arms curled beneath her head, her bangs messy against her forehead. The light of the room cast a soft glow across her face, making her look strangely younger and softer, and less like the competent resident physician everyone relied upon.
You stood there in the doorway far longer than you initially intended to. You just couldn’t help yourself, she looked so peaceful in that moment.
“You know she’s not going to disappear if you blink, right?”
You startled violently, one of your hands flying up to your mouth to muffle a gasp that threatened to escape.
Javadi stood beside you leaning in the doorway, nursing a cup of coffee in one hand, while the other came up and gently held the frame of the door, as she looked both fascinated and surprised by the situation.
Behind the two of you, Whitaker stood with his hands clasped behind his back, as he glanced towards where Cassie was asleep sitting by the table, only to immediately look away again, clearly uncomfortable intruding in her space like that.
“It’s really not,” Whitaker added in a low, careful voice, trying not to wake Cassie up.
Javadi didn’t even seem to acknowledge him completely. “I just think this is emotionally very intense,” she went on, still watching you like she was analysing a patient. “Like… French cinema intense. The kind where nobody communicates and everyone suffers silently yet beautifully.”
You stared at her, your mouth slightly open, genuinely unsure if you were being insulted, diagnosed or profiled, or every single one of the above all at once. Yet, still baffled by the comparison she so thoroughly seemed to have put so much thought into.
Whitaker shifted his weight awkwardly as he stood between the two of you, his hands half-raised like he wanted to physically put an end to the conversation. “We should probably let her sleep.”
“Right, yes, obviously,” Javadi nodded, agreeing immediately. Then, as if she forgot what she had just said, she leaned back in, lowering her voice even further, as if that was even possible. “But also McKay definitely has, like… a strong energy. You know? She’s humble. Very ‘main character in a hospital drama’ like.”
You made a sound somewhere between a gasp and a choke. Whitaker looked instantly alarmed at the sound, but nevertheless confused.
“What? She does.” Javadi shrugged her shoulders.
“She might hear you.”
From the small table in the corner of the room, Cassie shifted ever so slightly, one arm moving just enough to adjust her head, but she stayed asleep.
Javadi’s eyes went wide as she stared at the both of you with genuine panic. “Oh my god, do you think she heard me?”
Whitaker exhaled slowly, like he’d narrowly survived something. “We should all probably go,” he said, already stepping back into the hallway.
Javadi nodded again, but pointed at you as she backed out of the doorway, still whispering like she was delivering classified intel. “For the record, I support this.”
You stared at her, eyes wide, as you swallowed thickly.
“The age gap may be a little… questionable” she said, gesturing vaguely between you and the table where Cassie was still asleep in, “Which is fine! I have nothing against it! And i don’t think either of you cares about it any way.”
Whitaker froze mid-step, looking like he wished the floor would swallow him whole.
Javadi, completely aware of the meaning behind her own words, gave you an awkward smirk, along with a final little nod like she’d just closed a case file, and just stepped back into the ED once more, as if nothing had happened.
Leaving both you and Whitaker dumbfounded.
4.
The ED was chaotic like it usual was during the day shift. The waiting room was overwhelmed with restless patients awaiting their turn for god knows how many hours. Nurses rushed between the beds, monitors beeped, phones rang, and stretchers were wheeled down the hallways.
But even through all that, Cassie still moved with that same controlled intensity she always did.
You were standing with Samira near one workstation, the both of you bent over a fresh set of labs that had just gotten down from upstairs. The two of you were going through the possible next steps to take, considering the results you just got back.
Meanwhile, Cassie was with a patient in one of the curtained bays across the hall.
You tried not to look. You really did.
But it was almost impossible not to notice the way she stood slightly bent beside the bed, bringing herself to be eye level with a young girl who looked terrified and overwhelmed. Her voice was low but steady, completely calm, and one of her hands rested briefly on the bedrail like an anchor while she spoke. She held eye contact with the young girl the entire time, until eventually the girl’s breathing slowly started to even out.
You didn’t realise you were watching until Cassie tilted her head and let out a small yet soft chuckle at something the girl had said. It was quiet, but it still cut straight through the noise of the department.
Your head had lifted on instinct. Because, of course it did.
Samira didn’t even bother to look up from the lab results. “She’s good with people.”
You blinked, caught off guard, and forced your attention back to the screen before she could notice anything else. “Yeah,” you said quietly agreeing with her words. “She is.”
But your eyes drifted back towards Cassie anyway.
Samira glanced over properly this time, watching her for a moment. “She stays longer with difficult patients than anyone else around here.” She added, almost matter-of-factly.
Something warm twisted inside your chest at that. “Yeah,” you repeated yourself once again, softer this time.
Samira looked back at you then, and this time she actually paused, as she took in your expression. “Oh.”
Your stomach dropped instantly, your gaze shifting from Cassie to her. “What?”
“You really like her.” Samira’s mouth curved into a small, knowing smile. “You do know she likes you too, right?”
You felt heat rush straight through your entire face. “Please don’t say things like that.”
Samira raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “She checks in on you every shift.”
Your heart tripped over itself. You looked down at your hands like they might save you from having this conversation. “That’s not—”
“Half of the ED has noticed.”
You froze, as your gaze snapped towards hers in absolute dread. “Half the ED?”
Samira nodded once, completely unbothered, as she shrugged. “There’s even a betting pool going around.”
“Oh my god.”
Samira winced apologetically, as she took in your horrified expression. “Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said that.”
But it was already too late.
+ 1
Cassie started to notice you staring long before anyone did.
Not because you were obvious, although, according to half of the ED, you absolutely were. But rather because Cassie was exceptionally good at reading people.
For instance, she noticed when patients lied about their pain because they were embarrassed or afraid. She noticed the way family members hovered when they were reticent to ask whatever they wanted to ask. She noticed the small details, the trembling hands, the exhausted eyes, and most importantly, the forced smiles.
And she also noticed you.
At first, it was the little things. The way your attention seemed to drift towards her almost everytime she walked through the department. Or the way she could feel someone watching her during shifts, only to glance up and find you immediately snapping your attention elsewhere.
Every. Single. Time.
Cassie would look up from a workstation, or a trauma bay, and there you’d be, looking at her with this soft, distracted expression like you hadn’t even realized you were doing it.
And then, just as her eyes went to meet yours, you’d instantly look down at a chart, or at a monitor, or a tablet, fiding anything and everything around you to be fascinatingly more interesting.
The first few times it happened, Cassie didn’t think much of it, she had just brushed it off.
But then, somewhere along the way, and agaisnt her better judgement, she started to expect it. Looking forward to it.
And today was no different.
The ED had settled into one of those rare quiet moments after the many hours of utter chaos. Everyone seemed to move slower now, exhaustion dragging at everyone’s shoulders. And as for Cassie, she stood at the nurses station finishing up her charts, one hand curled loosely around a cup of now lukewarm coffee.
That's when she felt it again.
That familiar weight of your gaze on her.
This time, she didn’t look up right away. Instead she took a few moments to dwell on the feeling of your eyes on her. She felt the corner of her mouth twitch faintly, as she tried not to smile to herself, and continued to pretend to read through the chart in front of her. In all honesty, she had found this whole situation strangely endearing.
She took another slow sip of her coffee, pretending to focus on the screen for another minute before finally lifting her head. And rest assured, there you were.
Standing across the station with a tablet tucked awkwardly against your chest, completely distracted from whatever you were supposed to be doing. You were just staring at her again, your expression was soft and distant, like the rest of the department had vanished all together.
Something warm settled quietly in Cassie’s chest at the sight of your soft expression, and so before she could stop herself, she smiled at you. Not those polite, tired half-smiles she gave most of the time during her shifts. No. This time she smiled a real, soft and warm smile.
Your eyes widened immediately the second you realized she was smiling at you. Panic flashed across your face almost instantly, as you looked down at the tablet pressed against your chest so quickly, as your fingers fumbled nervously across the screen.
Cassie let out a small snort under her breath. Then, she carefully placed her coffee cup down on the counter and made her way towards where you stood.
“Hey,” she said gently once she reached you.
You froze on the spot. Your eyes, still wide and helpless, slowly lifted to meet her gaze. "Hi..."
Cassie tilted her head forward slightly in your direction, her hands slipping into the pockets of her scrub pants while she studied you with barely concealed amusement. "You do that a lot, you know?"
Heat rushed across your cheeks instantly, as you averted your gaze to somewhere over her shoulder, swallowing the big lump that had settled in your throat, as you asked. "Do what exactly?"
Her warm, calm and patient gaze was steady on yours just enough to make your heart stutter. "Stare at me," she explained, "and then pretend you werent."
Embarrassment flickered across your face, as you whished the floor would open up and swallow you whole. "Im so sorr—"
Cassie chuckled quietly before you could finish. “It’s okay, I'm not upset about it.” She moved to lean lightly against the counter now, her posture relaxed, as she shrugged. “I think it’s sweet.”
The tension in your shoulders loosened slightly upon hearing her words. "You do?"
Cassie nodded once, still watching you with that same warm look. “Yeah," she said softly. "I do.”
For a second neither of you said anything. The noise of the ED blurred into the background again, but Cassie barely noticed any of it.
She was too busy watching you adorably unravel in front of her.
As for you? You were too busy trying desperatly not to melt from embarrasment in front of her and the entire department.
“I'll stop.” You said quietly after a moment.
Cassie's smile faltered slightly at your words.
“No. Don't.” She said, far too quickly.
Then after a second, her warm and soft smile returned, as she added quietly, a little more composed this time.
Cassie, a diehard Penguins fan, promises to teach Baran everything she knows about hockey leading up to the playoffs. these "this totally not a date, I'm just helping you LEARN because you live in Pittsburgh now and this is a big deal" hangout sessions always take place at Cassie's apartment, always involve takeout, always involve PJs and, by the time they've watched 4 or 5 games together, ALSO starts to involve cuddling on the couch... and then inviting Baran to sleep over because "the game went into overtime and now it's late and you're tired so you might as well stay" and then also "I have a king sized bed so you can just sleep in here with me because the couch isn't as comfortable"
i was talking to my mom yesterday when i got home from school and we ended up talking about chucky and horror movies, and ive seen curse and cult of chucky for fiona dourif so ive been on a chucky kinda kick for a bit.
this week is my last full week of the year, so its a spirit week, and today is “bring anything but a backpack”
so imagine my shock when somebody walked into my 3rd period with this fucker.
of all things to bring. of ANYTHING to bring.
wow what a coincidence but also this is wayyy to eerie brad dourif plsss pls ols dont kill me
