Time seemed to be moving incredibly slowly, the movie which, in any other time, would have finished by now dragged on. Mina could hardly pay attention to the blood and guts and the screams and the occasional sex scene every slasher movie seemed to need to have. She was well into her fourth ( ? ) glass of wine by now and it was sliding down easier than the food Alex had brought over. Oh, how she longed for the Chinese food to arrive, break their awkward silence, take them out of their mysery. Anyone could read the room, anyone could know that they were not the best friends they once were anymore. There was more to it. There was a lot more to it, and there was absolutely no way of hiding anymore.Â
   Keeping things bottled inside of her felt pretty exhausting by now, their walking on shells around one another, not knowing what to say, or how to keep a conversation flowing despite how many times they had actually been in that exact situation ( watching a horror movie and waiting on food ) was maddening to her. She was mad, she was tired and she might be downright pissed off at his boldness to be there, for horror movies, like nothing had happened.
   Mina didn’t know exactly why Alex awkwardly asking her how was the wine was what broke the camel’s back, but she knew right then and there that she couldn’t keep playing this game anymore, she couldn’t keep on pretending that everything was good, until it eventually would be pushed aside again. If they continued like this, they would eventually find a new normal, they would eventually shove everything down again and pretend that they didn’t all but assume they had feelings for each other. She was terrified of what that new normal would look like, but she was absolutely sure she wouldn’t be able to simply ignore what had happened, it was not her choice.
   “Is the wine alright?” She finally spoke, looking at him with an incredulous expression, “is that how it’s gonna be every time we’re together now? Tiptoeing around one another, asking if the wine is alright?” Her teeth sunk into her lips after she scoffed, genuinely upset, genuinely in disbelief.Â
   “Why did you come here today, Alex? Why did you think this was a good idea? Do you really think I can just push aside what we said to each other not a week ago? You’re just going to ignore what I told you?” Mina wasn’t certain if she was able to hold his gaze for much longer, but getting up made her feel more confrontational and better equipped to handle whatever was going to come out of it. “I’m pretty sure we had a fight at the sidewalk of my restaurant, did we not? And what? You just show up with wine and snacks, expecting everything to be normal again? Expecting I just forget what was said? I’m sorry if that’s what you want, but I can’t, if this is the way, I really think you should grab your things and leave…”Â
   She sighed. A long, frustrated sigh.
   “If not… I really need you to tell me what the hell do you want from me, because I’m exhausted, Alex. I’m tired of this back and forth.”
Alex wasn’t sure why he’d thought it would be a good idea to just turn up on her doorstep, really. It had seemed like the best idea when he’d been thinking about it and when he was driving over. It had seemed like the easiest way of just spending some time with his best friend, with her, without them having to deal with what had happened between them. But he really was stupid to think that they’d be able to carry on as if nothing had happened, when so much had. But for Alex, he was still no further forward in telling her how he felt, how he wanted her more than he wanted anything else in the world, or knowing if she felt the same way.Â
He’d thought, that even if it was awkward at the beginning, they’d be able to ease back into it with some wine, small talk, movies and food, they’d be able to just work it out, like they’d seemed to when Mina came back into town. The only time though, he realised, that things had felt anywhere normal, was Vancouver. In Vancouver, a wall had come down for Alex, they’d basically spent the day on a date and he hadn’t cared if anyone saw him hug her or if she caught him looking at her, because he just didn’t. But he realised in that moment, that they hadn’t been normal since she’d left. The last time he’d felt truly comfortable around her, apart from Vancouver, was that last morning they’d spent in bed, over a year ago.
He hadn’t expected a question about the wine to set anything off, but as she responded, Alex’s eyes widened a little as he looked over at her. His lips pressed together before he took a sip from his refilled glass. Obviously, that was the wrong thing to say. It seemed, however, that just as she had lost patience with him, that was all it took for Alex to snap as well. “What exactly did we say, Mina? Because I am no clearer on anything than I was before we had.. Whatever that was outside the restaurant. I didn’t tell you shit and I really don’t think you told me anything either.”Â
Standing up, Alex paced a little, trying to gather his thoughts before he spoke to try and avoid saying anything he’d regret or that would only make the situation worse. “I came here tonight because I missed you, Mina, it has barely been a week but I hated that I hadn’t spoken to you or seen you, it was driving me mad. So I came here, because honestly, a night of small talk was so much easier than going another night without talking to you.”Â
He knew he should hold back, he knew that he should just stop pacing, put down his wine glass and leave, try again another time or something. But something in him told him that it was now or never. “You! I want you, Mina! I have wanted nothing but you since that first kiss, since waking up with you that first morning. When you left, I was lost and I thought it was because you were my best friend but it’s not, it’s because I can’t get you out of my damn head, because I can’t forget what we did and because I don’t want to. But trying to just be friends with you since you got back has been killing me.”
