work republic and separatists against each other. recruit evil guy to lead separatists.
(this jedi kid is wicked strong!)
get jedi in deep with clone army. (save some clone jars for later? just in case...)
PIVOT: Make the jedi kid evil. dont need separatist guy anymore. got a new evil guy.
make my evil guy kill his jedi pals when they come to arrest me. ill finish em off with my lightning attack
(fucking guy used his sword to bounce my lightning back at me! honestly my fault. takes a minute for the lightning to wind down and he got my ass on the bounce. fair play. now i look like a leather couch but its fine. can blame jedi for THAT too)
Use the clones to kill the jedi, have my evil guy kill the seperatists, keep the army, spin into empire
GALAXY NOW UNDER MY CONTROL
chill as emperor for a while. humiliate Vader for a laugh. make death star.
Endgame achieved.
(Vader's kid blows up my death star)
PIVOT: get new young apprentice by turning him evil once he kills his dad, or maybe make Vader cooler by making him kill his gay son. either way its a win-win for me.
(thrown down hole and killed.)
PIVOT: good thing i kept those clone jars!! make new clone body to inhabit. takes time to get right. need something to do until then
build enormous fleet of big spaceships, each with their own super death star laser. keep em on the down low... why use em? they lose half the value as soon as you fly them off the lot
(clone son runs away but its no biggie. its fine. have loads of clones at this point. whats one clone son?)
create a DECOY fascist empire. put one of my weirder clones in charge. Not giving them any of my ships though. can build his own shit. dont look at me. get a bank loan
let failed clone recruit vaders grandson (will explain why later)
LET those guys take over the galaxy with a different super death star. assume they built this one themselves. very cute!
GALAXY NOW UNDER MY CONTROL (only via proxy tho. not done yet)
let(??) vaders grandson ("ben"?? ok) usurp failed clone and rule galaxy. wants to “kill the past” but whatever. can still make this work. NEED to keep this kid in the mix (will make sense when we get there)
drop the big news. Im not dead! Fortnite. awesome moment.
lead kylo ren to my base using complex scavenger hunt. puzzle knife.
tell him he’s always actually worked for me. big reveal. big moment. He's my lackey now. a little traitorous and unreliable, but this will pay off later trust me
use death star ships to take over galaxy even more
GALAXY NOW UNDER MY CONTROL (awesome... but not enough. something missing)
let kylo ren lead clone granddaughter to home base using complex scavenger hunt (?)
taunt her into killing me so i can possess her un-janked body.
Endgame achieved. (??)
(kylo ren betrays me)
PIVOT: Possession stupid plan anyway. Instead, use ben and reys Horny Essence to make my nasty old body normal again…might as well pimp my robes out a bit while im at it...i deserve a treat
throw ben in hole (grandson purpose revealed)
destroy resistance with lightning powers. shooting spaceships down with magic lightning basically a solved problem at this point.
GALAXY NOW UNDER MY CONTROL
kill the granddaughter actually. dont need her anymore. lightning powers classic for a reason. ive got this thing in the bag as long as she doesn't bounce the lightning back at me off her fucking laser sword
You need to feed your long-distance cat. You need to buy her delivery no matter how expensive the fees are. You need to give her treats. You need to pick up when she calls you at 3 am in the middle of the night when she's lonely and wants attention. You need to buy her a large fry and 20 piece nugs
tgirl advice: sometimes you will ask a girl to do something and she'll get that look in her eyes. you can instantly tell she's no longer talking to you and is instead talking to brain ghost mom, who wants exactly what you want but in a much more roundabout and dangerous and socially fraught and manipulative way. if you flirt with her during this time something really interesting might happen
tgirl advice: if you want to instantly send her under your spell forever and become a divine entity of biblical significance in her worldview wait for one of those vulnerable moments and then walk forward, making eye contact, slowly raise a hand, put it on the back of her head and start gently running your fingers through her hair. use your other hand to tilt her chin up to look at you and say in a low voice, sweet and warm and resonant with just a hint of hunger, that she's yours now and she never has to worry about a thing again. if her eyes are fluttering, congratulations! you have adopted a dog. and THEN punch her in the stomach for something really REALLY interesting
I know some people are horny about pokeballs but there's really not enough discussion of the luxury ball as the incredibly perverse mind control tool that it is. Like all pokeballs it compels some level of obedience (subject to level/gym badge discrepancy), but it also has the unique effect of making its victim immediately love you. are you kidding me thats unreasonable pervert shit.
catching a girl who fucking hates u in a luxury ball and then when you let her out of the ball she immediately starts clinging to ur shirt and whimpering "I love you, I love you" under her breath??? and she knows she's supposed to hate you, she remembers that she hated you and the reasons she hated you, but the ball got in her fucking head and now she hangs off your every word and loves you forever??? what are we even doing here
