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When life gives you an opening to see the beauty, take it! // #abandoned #cloudporn #littlefluffyclouds #stainedglass #justshoot #iphone #sfx_urbex#abandonment_issues#all_is_abandoned#tv_urbex#aband0n_all_h0pe#kings_abandoned#grime_nation#ig_abandoned#decay_nation#the_art_of_grime#icons_of_filth#exploring_shotz#tour_through_desolation#dilapidatedvisuals#artofvisuals#urbanromantix

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Hi friends and family!!!

Sooo, it’s been ages, it seems, since I’ve posted anything. This last year has been full of ups and downs and downs and downs and up….pretty exhausting. But, I’m super happy to announce:

I Lost My 30’s (www.ilostmy30s.tumblr.com), my beloved blog that I started in 2011, is getting a makeover!! I Lost My 30’s has a new name, a new logo, and, is getting it’s own website!!!!

I Lost My 30’s is now called A Life Moving Forward (www.alifemovingforward.tumblr.com). The site will promote mental health education, stories of lived experience, resources, mental health law information, a special section for ECT (electro convulsive therapy), and opportunities for peer support.

The new logo is above!!! What do you think?

More info coming tomorrow.

Be well, protect one another.

Jessica

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Friends,

The news of the world - international, national, and local - has been horrific of late. A friend of a friend posted the following info, I thought it might be useful.

The Disaster Distress Helpline is available to talk for those affected by mass violence whether directly or indirectly involved, there are people trained and available for you. It is a toll-free, multilingual, and confidential crisis support service is available to all residents in the United States and its territories. Stress, anxiety, and other depression-like symptoms are common reactions after a disaster. Call 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.

Take good care of one another, known and unknown.

Jessica

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Your story is important

As many of you know, I live with chronic depression, and I am a suicide attempt survivor. On March 10, 2013, I was in the midst of one of my darkest depressive times. I thought that suicide was the most sensible action, and that my beloved friends and family would completely understand my decision. It was a terrible decision. Leading up to that night, I had spent months alienating myself from my friends, acting like a huge jerk and hurting some of my closest best girlfriends quite deeply. All they ever did was love me. This week, the Center for Disease Control (www.cdc.gov) released updated statistics regarding suicide, highlighting an increase in the number of suicides, specifically among middle-aged women. -It is estimated that each day in the US, approximately 117 people die by suicide. -For every death by suicide, it is estimated that 60 people do not succeed. I am one of those 60. -1 in 4 individuals are living with some form of mental illness. While these numbers are important, the media is focusing on everything but the huge strides that have been taken in the field of suicide prevention over that last few years. I've included many organizations and amazing individuals doing great work in the areas of mental health advocacy, education and suicide prevention on my blog, www.ilostmy30s.tumblr.com. If we can openly share our stories of lived experience with honesty and humility (suicide or attempted suicide is NOT glamorous or romantic like it's often portrayed in the media), and share the work that our friends and colleagues are doing, there is a greater chance of reaching the people who need support most. I am so thankful to be here, and so thankful my family and friends loved me back to myself. Life gets better everyday. #suicide #ILived #suicideprevention #livethroughthis

[my-therapy-is-music]

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One of my favorite organizations.

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Stop the Stigma: Mental Illness is not Different than Physical Illness

Mental illness…just the thought of it seems to send chills down peoples’ spine because of the stigma associated with it. I have one question, why? People do not have the same reaction when they hear the term diabetes, obesity, stroke…I can go on. Diabetes and depression have a lot in common…after all both are due to an imbalance of chemicals—insulin for diabetes and ones such as serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine for depression. You know what, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

Because of this stigma, people are afraid to seek help because they are afraid of being labeled “crazy”. The only “crazy” thing is that the stigma continues and that makes me very sad and angry. There are so many people that could be getting the help they need if it weren’t for this. I cannot tell you how many people I see who come in for their physical and if it weren’t for the fact that I ask about their mood, they would never share with me that they are feeling depressed. I have even had instances of asking and they say they are fine then proceed to cry and admit that they have been depressed for a long time. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

I do not have any problem asking my patients about depression, substance abuse, anxiety—any uncomfortable topic. Sure, it would be easier for me not to but is that fair to the patient? If I do not bring up the subject, and patients are afraid to bring up the subject, then everyone suffers. The patient suffers, the patient’s overall health suffers, and the patient’s relationships suffer. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

While there is less of a stigma than there was 10 years ago, this stigma still exists. I have thought long and hard to figure out how to abolish this. Again, most have no problem telling just about anyone that they have diabetes yet I do not know many that would say to someone “Well, I was just diagnosed with mental illness.” We have the ice bucket challenge for ALS, the many walks/charity events for cancer that millions of people participate in, but mental illness? I am sure there must be campaigns for mental illness too but nothing comes to mind because mental illness has a stigma. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

I do not know what the answer is. I have thought about changing the name to brain imbalance syndrome but would that then get a stigma? What I do know is if more people talk about it, if people treat everyone the same no matter what illness they may have we all can make a difference by bringing a stop to this stigma. Do not be afraid to ask your family or friends how they are, especially if you see signs of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorder, etc. Encourage those to get help, or better yet, offer to take them to see a doctor. I know this is an uncomfortable discussion at first, but once everyone is talking about it, it then becomes the norm and the stigma dissipates. I do not have all the answers, but what I do know is that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

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In the wake of my attempt...

Good morning friends... Today is the 3 year anniversary date of my suicide attempt. The last two years, I slept most of the day, talked to some friends, and brought flowers to my paramedic station. Right now, I feel like vomiting. I have yet to feel guilt or shame around my attempt, perhaps one day I will, but I do still have a deep sense of confusion...why am I here? What is my great work in this world? Why am I not like other people who feel inspired just by waking up in the morning? I used to stand in front of my mirror and just stare...I would actually say 'where are you???' over and over, searching for some part of myself from before my attempt that I might recognize. There are still times I stand in front of my mirror and just think 'what have you done?'...although, I still am not sure what I'm asking myself with that question. I walk through stores, or at the park, or even just while I'm driving...I look at the people next to me and wonder if they too, have ever tried to destroy themselves...if by looking in their eyes, and them into mine, we would somehow know, and at the same time, know one another. I have not written here in many months...I needed to work on my health instead of just writing about it. But even without frequent posts, I'm still receiving emails from all over the world, and messages and new readers, which is just so amazingly touching and something I do not take for granted. It's also a strong testament to how important it is to tell our stories, to talk about mental health and suicide prevention, to promote mental health education, and awareness, and to continue the work towards breaking down mental health stigma. Xxoo Jessica

[sheisrecovering]

instagram ♡

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[quotemadness]

In the morning there is meaning, in the evening there is feeling.

Gertrude Stein (via quotemadness)

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A little art therapy this evening…

watercolor

rice paper

art is good fof the heart....

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Hello! Hello!

It feels like ages since I posted…I Lost My 30’s is getting a makeover so I’ve been spending a lot of time working on the new format : )) because I’m a bit challenged in the tech department, it’s not been going so smoothly!!

A big, warm welcome to my new readers - thanks so much for following I Lost My 30’s!!!

The holidays are upon us…and they can be quite challenging for a lot of us. If you are struggling or feeling down, remember to reach out for support, rest when you need it, practice good self-care, and breatheeeeeeeee : )) : )

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The other day I counted 56 positive affirmation .jpegs on my FB feed…I loved this one the most : ))

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Thank youuuuuuuuu!!!!!!

Wow!!! Thank you thank you for all the reblogs tonight and a big welcome to my new readers : )))

We love both of those things!!!

Jessica

[email protected]

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Hello!! Just a big thank you and warm welcome to my newest readers!!! Thanks so very much for reading I Lost My 30’s, I appreciate you for taking the time to check my blog out!! My email is [email protected] if you want to say hey!! Jessica

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We will find our way…

to more compassionate and comprehensive healthcare

to increase access to free or low cost mental health services

by breaking down mental illness stigma

to better health

to restful sleep

to a greater understanding of people

through empathy

through creativity

through sharing our lived experience Even when it seems really, really hard…we will find our way.

Jessica

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Thank you sooooooo much for all the wonderful, thoughtful, insightful and heartfelt messages today, in response to last night’s post.

I am so grateful, and was very moved by the stories you each shared.

I’d love to read more!

As my beloved author Anais Nin once wrote…‘we write to taste life twice; once in the moment and once in retrospect’.

Thank you so much!!

Jessica www.ilostmy30s.tumblr.com [email protected]