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My heart is so full right now.

I called for one last “session” with my thesis class so I could see them all together one more time before their defense. It really wasn’t to hold class, it was just so I could treat them to lunch, really, as a thank you for the semester.

Little did I know…

They had a little something for me too! (Yes, apparently they’ve labelled themselves Tracynatix which I find utterly HILARIOUS and endearing at the same time.) The funny thing here was that apparently they had no idea what kind of flavors I liked, and they went and got salted caramel—which was perfect, because y’all know I’m a caramel girl straight up.

I wrote quite a lengthy entry on this exact date last year about handling my first thesis class ever (how timely). Comparing what it was like then with how things went this school year, I still think there are things I can do better. I tried some new methods this time around in terms of housekeeping and the way we conducted individual sessions, but overall, it was a matter of once again trusting the process.

I still handled topics on education and family & household this year, and I think the fact that the class buzzes with topics that deal with strengthening relationships played a large role in creating an environment where our own relationships with each other could thrive. It warmed my heart to see students who typically worked by themselves at the start of the school year are now very close with others in the class. The class turned into its own family of sorts, and my kids started calling me “mom” instead of “ma’am” towards the end. I guess the fact that I call them my “kids” influenced that, hahaha.

What got me, though, more than the cake I’m excited to have for breakfast tomorrow morning was this:

Pardon the awkward way I’m holding the notebook, but they all wrote little notes for me and stuck them in this notebook that they emblazoned with the Dai Gurren Brigade’s signature pointy shades hahahaha. I decided to read them all when I got home today and I cried buckets. I don’t think I’ve ever been so appreciated and loved by my students.

I wonder if they realize just how much this means to me, because I’m not entirely sure they’re familiar with Gurren Lagann. If there’s one expression that the show is known for, it’s Kamina’s spiel on believing. He starts with encouraging Simon, “Don’t believe in yourself. Believe in me. Believe in the me who believes in you!” when Simon feels crestfallen and doubtful of his own capabilities to fight and keep moving forward.

But later on, he changes this quite a bit—

Believe in yourself. Not in the you who believes in me. Not in the me who believes in you. Believe in the you who believes in yourself.

What makes this little notebook much more meaningful to me is how, through giving me something that represents all that Kamina had to say, these kids are telling me to believe in myself. I’m still a bit of a mess after everything I’ve gone through (among other things) but I’m definitely in a better place. I sometimes forget, but it’s nice to be reminded that I’m better off.

More than preparing these kids for what lies ahead by equipping them with the skills that they require to become competent creatives, I believe that part of my job is to teach them to believe in themselves that they’re ready to take on the world. I hope I did my job well this year.

I’m actually much better at expressing myself through writing, so I couldn’t really make a cheesy speech or anything in our classroom about all this. So I’m writing this instead.

So to Dianne, Kitkat, Fern, Cedric, Isen, Denise, Deb, Aya, Jezka, Micah, Jonah, Mariane, Trina, Raffy, Dani, and Ninia, thank you. You are all stars that make up my favorite constellation.

deeplifequotes

If you don’t try, nothing will ever happen.

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sillysymphonys

retroanimu

pissyeti

good artist tips

there’s always gonna be someone better than you. try to work less on comparing yourself to their work and instead learning from them and turning envy into a personal challenge for your own stuff. i know its hard, trust me.

the best way to get better at art is to practice. there is no special trick to improving, no secret method. practice makes perfect is a tired old saying that im sure you dont want to hear but unfortunately, its true.

draw as much as you are able to. i wont say draw every day!!! because i know that there are folks that dont have this sort of luxury, whether it be because of physical or mental restrictions, or simply because they dont have time. draw whenever you can and have the strength to. try not to be too upset if you miss a day or a week or even months. shit happens, do the best you are able to.

if you get bored or stuck, try another way. change mediums if you can, flip the canvas, do something weird that you wouldnt normally do. sometimes this is the best way to un-stick yourself from art block.

dont be afraid to ask for help. this is so important! its ok to ask for assistance from other artists you admire (given that they have time to give pointers.) even if asking for help is straight up asking for a redline of your work, its ok to ask for it. improvement doesnt come without outside assistance, more often than not.

references are 100% a legitimate resource. i’m not really sure where the idea came from that real artists dont use references, but its not true. every renaissance painter used references in the form of in-house models. disney artists use references of animals and people to correctly model and then correctly exaggerate their designs. you cant learn to draw the world around you without actually studying it. use references, even if its just google searching.

your art is not an island. you will pick up styles from other people like tape picks up pet hair. its inevitable, and its not something that should be seen as a negative. artists inspire other artists. use your discretion, and study what you like about another artist’s work. every artist’s style is a mashup of a hundred other artists. its ok, experiment.

youre not going to make masterpieces all the time. youre gonna suck more often than not. but youre putting effort into something you enjoy and in the process you are getting better, slowly but surely. you arent going to see your stuff improve overnight, be patient.

please be kind to yourself. you are making a unique form of artistic expression, regardless whether you see it that way or not. youre doing fine, please keep going and pat yourself on the back for getting this far.