A concept: me, getting my pussy ate by someone who truly loves and appreciates me
cherry valley forever
h
will byers stan first human second
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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if i look back, i am lost
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One Nice Bug Per Day
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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@alivetowatchitall
A concept: me, getting my pussy ate by someone who truly loves and appreciates me
This boy
Modern heartbreak is “read at 9:13 p.m.” when it’s 9:40. it’s unliked photos, it’s blocking and unblocking and blocking and unblocking. modern heartbreak is sick with being watched, it’s breakups playing out on twitter feeds, it’s unfollowed unfollowed unfollowed. it’s screenshotted photos that shouldn’t have been saved, it’s screenshotted texts meant for one person only. it’s seeing your ex lover with their new one, watching their lives playing out like yours didn’t, it’s phones thrown into bedroom walls when their profile changes from single to in a relationship. it’s snapchat stories to make that one person jealous because it feels like without them you’re nothing, it’s that one story expiring before they see it because they don’t give a fuck about you now and you know it, it’s deleting their contact info but wanting it tattooed on the back of your hand in case you ever want to call, it’s messy it’s messy it’s messy it’s so fucking messy because everyone fucking sees it and it never goes away.
Worth it. (via welder22)
“Legacy. What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.” – Hamilton, 2015
there is…. another juice
why are there so many words
Don’t be a “respect is earned not given” kind of person
Be a “respect is given unless proven undeserved” kind of person
I was joining random dating sites and i came across one called “Top Tier” which was apparently only for very rich people with high IQs. Only, there was no vetting process so i figured it was just for pompous assholes who thought they were top tier.
I signed up to see what it was like. The color scheme of the site was yellow on black. You had to select one of three options indicating if you were single or not. I don’t remember what the first two were, but the third one was, “you can go to hell,” which meant that for whichever reason, you weren’t interested in anyone. If you chose this option you couldn’t even search the site, so I backed up and chose a different option.
I found Uma Thurman on the site and jokingly sent her a date request, but she actually accepted and now I had a date with her set for tomorrow evening. I was in a panic because I didn’t want to date Uma Thurman. In the dream, she was known for being mean. I was still stressing about how I was gonna break this date, when I woke up.
again, I really need to read the usernames on this fucking site
you might like getting choked but sea turtles don’t so keep your FUCKIN plastic out of the ocean.
Amen.
showing up late to a meeting with an iced drink is a power move. like with hot drinks the cup is opaque and people cant tell the temperature so they dont know how long ago you got it. maybe its hours old. maybe you just got caught in traffic. who can say. but iced drinks. its clear. they can see the ice. they can see if its still frozen. they look you in the eye and they know you were standing in line fifteen minutes ago and made the conscious, deliberate decision to get a mocha frap instead of being on time. and then you made ANOTHER conscious, deliberate decision to bring it into the meeting with you, informing everyone in attendance that on your list of priorities, each and every one of them ranks firmly below one (1) mocha frappuchino.
Me in history class: Wow, humanity has been through some fascinating times! I wonder if I’ll ever live through major historical events!
Me now: NO NO NO NO NO I WANT TO GET OFF THIS RIDE
it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space tr
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I don’t know if anyone’s posted this yet but this is the crowd during Love On Top and it’s soooo fucking lit i’m crying it’s beautiful (from twitter: beysusfacts)
WOW STOP
when ur mom works hard so you give her a break
This is so sweet I cried
I LOVE THIS
“Nice guys finish last” is actually good sex advice.
Therapists are just…. Common sense filters
Me: yeah so I just don’t have the energy to get up and make myself a sandwich or wait for something to cook so I just. Don’t
Her: why don’t you just eat the sandwich components without putting them together
Me:
Her: you can just eat a handful of cheese and some sandwich meat. You don’t have to make a sandwich.
Me:
Me: what
Bonus Comic: https://lolnein.com/2018/04/19/shampoolympics/
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