bidi bidi bom bom @allergic-to-semen - Tumblr Blog

the Beatles would exist in star wars but they'd be actual beetles. they'd look like the real Beatles but w like insect antenna and they'd be part of an alien species who are all musicians. they'd all have star warsed versions of their names except for Ringo bcos Ringo Starr is already a star wars name.

menecrates

happy sometimes you just want something so hard you have to lie about it so you can hold it in your mouth for a minute monday

menecrates

yeag

wastrelwoods

been sort of obsessively combing through articles and websites and resources about top surgery and recovery more and more as I gear up to My Big Day and while I hate to report I may have gotten through most of the scientifically rigorous and reputable sites I am at least, now, stumbling over some of the funnier AI generated slop images i've ever seen in my quest for Patient Information

brawltogethernow

They missed. 😔

lotsofhobi

clark, hal, minhkhoa , harvey, talia, selina, and all other people who have a sexual tension with batman/bruce wayne:

electricpurrs

i think this is the funniest possible image that could be used to illustrate this subject

girlnextvore

petite-guignol

OK FUN FACT i also thought this picture was hilarious when i encountered it a few months ago, so i was curious how it ended up on wikipedia

it turns out the uploader is in fact the woman in the photo (she's uploaded a few other pictures of herself to other articles) and she ran an extremely web 1.0 site on the topic of bondage

this was apparently a long-standing fantasy of hers and she did an entire video plus accompanying photoshoot about it, which was run in a bondage magazine in the 90s and did in fact take place on an abandoned train track. they committed to the bit hard enough that there's even a shot of the sinister villain looming over her with a big document labeled DEED and a pen

the best part is that according to this page, there were two "villains" involved (the woman's two partners, apparently), and the other one was dressed as a gorilla. sadly there are no images of the gorilla kidnapper because that sounds like. even funnier.

anyway i thought this whole thing was kinda cute, lol

pspsappho

& honestly there's no debate to be had the zendaya earrings are orders of magnitude worse than kim kardashian wearing that marilyn dress. yes that piece was a one of a kind unique textile made so specifically for marilyn monroe she had to be sewn into it. at the end of the day it was a ~70 year old usamerican cultural artefact being repurposed by an american for an american cultural event and everyone involved knows exactly where the dress came from + what happened to it + where it went afterwards. zendaya is wearing the looted (or forged) cultural heritage of a people her government is currently bombing & whose lives they have been deliberately making unliveable for decades to a movie premiere that has fuck all to do with iran. we don't know where those discs came from where they were found or by whom & we never will. AND the jeweller appears to have altered them substantially from their original condition. destroying a people's cultural heritage at the same time you destroy their country + their lives so you can look good on a red carpet One Time i want to fucking hurl

uhhhhmanda

The earrings, worn by Zendaya at The Odyssey press tour, are believed to be 2,000-3,000 years old and come at a time when the US is bombing

An archaeologist quoted in the article says "the point of these earrings is not to showcase legitimate ancient artistry, it is to fetishize the past, to be a commodity, stolen from the elite, circulated illegally, and immorally…this is about class signalling."

shamesonlydaughter

i really love this video it’s a poem to me

somethingusefulfromflorida

inkskinned

i don't really have the words for it but i'd come home from school and watch my mom sort our mail - junk, junk, junk, bills, junk. it used to pile up on our counter; day after day. i remember how much of it went right into the recycling bin.

email was huge when it really started being available to us all. i know that's wild to say to someone who was raised after AOL but "checking your email" used to be a big deal. i now have 2,521 unread messages; and that's after a deep clean last january. most of it is just spam. it just sits in my inbox, unanswered and unopened - draining whatever arbitrary amount of digital space i have in this world.

i don't check my voicemail, it's usually a scammer. i don't check my instagram notifications either - half of them are someone trying to sell me something from a pyramid scheme. the other half are bots. a girl recently held my phone for a fraction of a second and almost passed out - how do you have 356 unopened texts? i shrugged about it. how many of those were just the average i have a job opening for you scam-type shit.

discord now forces an ad when i open it. youtube forced me to uninstall my adblocker (yes i switched to firefox). i hate "smart" versions of things; but you can't always escape them. why is my own computer pushing me advertisements for things? why is my TV trying to get me to download a gambling game? why do i need to see an ad to fucking access my fridge?

i block, unsubscribe, avoid. i cannot tell you how many times i have entered [email protected] as my email so i can view one particular recipe on one particular blog. i cannot tell you how many times i reply "STOP", i refuse to give my number - i am a master at this infinite dodge. and still. still!

it's just... clutter. it isn't sitting in my brain, glistening. it's just noise.

for a long time i used to open and read a newsletter from a community center down the street - it used to have fun tips, announcements. cute things. recently they must have gotten a new copywriter. it's all just - while you're here, have you thought about purchasing?

yesterday i went out to collect the mail; most of which will end up in the recycling. a single piece blew out of my hands; i had to chase it down the street. i still have no idea what it was even for. it means genuinely nothing to me.

aqueerkettleofish

I remember when I had an email notification sound on my computer, and hearing it was a joy.

shaneofaragon

shane hollander is afraid to talk to men

breha

sometimes it’s They Would Not Fucking Get Married but sometimes it’s just They Would Not Have A Fucking Wedding. send those characters to the courthouse on a tuesday or so help me

rederiswrites

Look, it's... Oh I haven't got this worded out properly yet. It's got to be about the whole world. A global economy means that fixing the economy must be global. And I don't mean this in some noble way. It's very literal.

There is very little difference between my making flameworked beads in the US and an artisan making them in Java, save that they're being paid pennies to work in unsafe conditions for long hours. They're also skilled. The tools are the same. But you can buy their products at Michael's for a small fraction of what I have to charge in order to make any money at all. That will continue to be true so long as they're being taken advantage of and so long as their currency is worth so much less than mine.

Flameworked beads, like crochet, are always made by hand. My competition isn't machines. It's extractive business policies and practices that don't care about people or their environment. So long as businesses are permitted to do that, they will.

This isn't about making beads. It's about all of it. I'm just trying to eat dinner and have a thought.

rederiswrites

TL;DR, if companies can undercut workers in your country by abusing workers in a poorer country, both of you will continue to lose. So long as there are places in the world where companies can ignore health and safety, basic rights, fair compensation, or environmental "externalities", we all pay. So long as we allow companies to just go to another country to avoid regulations, the regulations will be far less effective. So long as we let rich people accumulate obscene amounts of money, the power that gives them threatens us all.

rederiswrites