blahblahbruh

[allien013]

Bart is birdflash child

Okay so this headcanon will be little wild but bare with me.

This headcanon only make sense in au where Dick and Wally are couple. They love each other and act annoyingly cute.

Anyway The Bart thing starts the same way: one day he just arrives from the future. A petite redheaded speedster with blue eyes (Dick's eye color, you know, intense blue).

However, people can sense that something's not quite right with him. Firstly, he knows the Batfam's identity, and no one knows their secret identities. He's not only fast and smart, but also incredibly clever. I imagine he can disappear like Bats. You know, even in bright clothes in a bright room surrounded by crowds.

Besides, when I look at Bart, I literally see a mix of Dick and Wally, a little brat who drives villains to nervous breakdowns with his jokes.

And Bart, being part of the Batfam, OF COURSE didn't tell anyone who his parents were because he didn't want to worry anyone. As a result, everyone worried about him because he seemed very sad at times. He also knew things he had no right to know, for example things that only Dick or Wally knew.

Furthermore, Bart displays a healthy amount of Batman's paranoia, especially when it comes to his secret identity. He only told a few trusted people. He rents a one-room apartment and has an incredibly high level of security.

The secret is revealed after a difficult mission. Despite his super metabolism, Bart ends up with a terrible concussion. He can barely comprehend what's happening around him. When Dick comes and asks if everything is okay, Bart bursts into tears. He sobs, babbling that he missed his dad, but his dad came, so everything's okay now. He hugs Dick and refuses to move, whispering, "Daddy," over and over again. Dick had already suspected Bart was lying about his origins, but he hadn't expected this. He gently pets the speedster's red hair and asks who Bart's parents are. Dick already knows the answer subconsciously, but he needs to be sure.

Bart hums, "Dick Grayson and Wally West." And those words make Nightwing burst into tears. Because that means his son has been completely alone for a damn long time. Dick starts hugging Bart and calls Wally, who is even more shocked because he didn't suspect a thing.

After that, everything goes smoothly, Dickie quickly informs the entire Batfam. Everyone is delighted, of course, especially Bruce, because he has another grandchild. And he'll be the best damn grandpa in the world.

When Bart recovers, he realizes what he said, and that he's now in the Batcave. He panics, because whose son he is, supposed to be a secret. However, Dickie and Wally quickly reassure him and say they're glad they know. Dick asks why Bart didn't tell them sooner. Bart replies that he didn't want to be a burden.

Dickie and Wally explain in great detail that he's not a burden and never will be, and then there's hugging. A LOT of hugging. And crying also a lot.

[allien013]

I imagine that kryptonias are very possessive, all of them. It's just their thing.

I mean usually they nice and cooperative, but things quickly getting dark when someone precious to them is in danger.

For example Kal will be nice and understanding even when someone fucked up during important mission. But if someone tries to even touchs Batman when he's unconscious or badly wounded... Clark is going wild and unkind. He's growling at anyone who dares approach him with red glowing eyes. Sam will scoop Bruce up in his arms, wrap him in his cape, and quickly fly him to safety, because to him, B is more important than the mission's success.

Kon would do the same for Tim. Especially when Timmy loses touch with reality because he hasn't slept in a week. Then Kon follows him around or carries him everywhere, making sure his Robin is 100% safe. When someone tries to interrupt Kon will glare them with heat vision eyes. Bc when Tim is in the zone, than people should leave him alone.

And Jon... Jonathan honestly is the worst. He's the most dangerous because he has worse control over impulses than Clark or Kon.

When Damian is injured very badly Jon doesn't let anyone touch him. He refuses to let even Batman or Superman through. All human instincts and reasoning vanish. He listens only to instinct. He wraps himself protectively around Dami and won't let go. He will watch over him until his Damian feels better, constantly listening to his heartbeat.

[allien013]

I think about this headcanon and I cannot stop.

I was wondering how funny would be if Kon keeps his civil name Conner Luthor, but for all wrong reasons.

I imagine Clark would let him bc in this au Kal spent so much time with Bruce that B got him hooked on adopting blue-eyed, black-haired children who had experienced traumatic events.

So Clark loves and takes care of Kon. But Kon keeps Luthor's name. Because imagine Lex reaction when he's realizes that HIS kid, using HIS name not only is hero (Superboy), but also have great realtion with Superman. And apparently plans to inherits Lexcorp.

Of course Kon would give Lexcorp to Tim because he's not interested in multi-billion dollar companies and his sweet boy deserves the best gifts.

Also Kon thinks if his civil name be Conner Luthor no one will suspect he is Superboy. Because Superboy is Superman son And Luthor hates him.

But to his surprise Metropolis see this different. People actually thinks that Supes and Lex and divorced parents and Kon is neglected child.

When Clark finds out he had breakdown. Because what the fuck you mean people think HE DATED LEX???!!

Bruce is very amused by the whole situation.

Kon takes advantage of this, and when he's angry with Clark, he threatens to move in with his other dad. (It's very funny because Lex is actually his biological father.)

After these events, Superman and Lex's fights are treated like a divorce gone terribly wrong. People wonder why Luthor can't move on, when his ex clearly did. (Of course, there are photos of SuperBat or fanarts floating around the internet.)

I also imagine that Lex, influenced by, well, everyone, has started spending more time with Kon, teaching him about running a business and taking him to various galas.

Because, damn it, he can't afford to be seen as a father neglecting his own child. (He'll be no worse than fucking Superman.)

[allien013]

You know what would be hilarious?

If someone at school try insult Damian. For whatever reason, and say " Your gay" or something like that.

But Dami doesn't get sad or mad. He just stares emotionaless and answer "Yes I am." Damian doesn't know what to think because since when saying facts in someone face is insulting?

I imagine Dami doesn't understand that bc in Assassin's League nobody talk about this staff. If you good in fight and killing nobody cares if you straight or not.

After when Jon tries to explain that random dude wants to insult Dami. Damian won't believe it. Because why the fuck people would care for some strangers relationships.

In short Dami comes to conclusion that people are really stupid.

[allien013]

Okay so I was thinking...

What if Damian doesn't understand this need to hide his secret identity?

I mean he grew up with Talia and everybody knows who he was.

And when he comes to Gotham everybody who matters knows (his family).

Damian geniually doesn't talk with people, so batfam don't know about fact that Dami doesn't hide he's identity. He is proud of being Robin.

So imagine Damian's first meeting with Jonathan Kent.

Jon comes as Superboy because everyone talks about hiding identities. Clark never told Jon who Batman is. Jon only knows that Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin and Robin are Batman's kids.

But Dami? Damian comes as Robin, but Bruce told him that he should try friendship with Jon. Damian never lies to his friends (or family).

So imagine Jon's face when Robin gives him hand and say " I'm Damian Wayne-Al Ghul, who are you?" And after that just stares and expects answer.

In that way Jon officially joins group chat "Everyone who knows 🦇" (bc of course they would have chat like that)

[allien013]

Headcanon:

So I assume that Batman have full access to JL systems (Zeta etc.). I imagine Bruce at some point give all bat kids full access. But he does that only bc if he won't his kids just will break if they need something.

For example Tim needs some pendrive or sth from Bruce, but he is on Watch Tower. So Tim break into Zeta systems and add himself access. Which should be impossible. Of course, the entire JL (except B and Clark) panics when they see some skinny kid in sweatpants and a sweatshirt with a laptop, a mug of coffee, and a look on his face as if he couldn't even imagine what a sleeping was.

If Jason decided to go to the Watch Tower it's getting even messier. So Bruce just give accesses and tell JL that this weird shadows are probably just his kids. And JL should ignore them.

But Batkids treat accesses in different way. For them giving someone full access is like add this person to the family.

For example only Clark can go to Batcave other JL members cannot. Batkids constantly mocking B about this.

Or Tim gives access to Kon (it's really weird way of flirting)

This behaviors would lead to hilarious situations. When someone new join JL and suddenly they realize...

That little boy probably 12 years old with smile and big blue eyes (Jonathan Kent), looking like lost child has more access than this new member will ever have.

This have to be the most what the fuck moment they have.

[allien013]

So I know that kryptonias can purr when they happy just like cats so I couldn't help myself and just have to add some headcanons.

At first I think it would be cute if they have cat shaped pupils. Than I was like... Kryptonias are aliens but they look SO similar to humans. I want to change that a little. That's why I draw Kal with blue blush I think that would be cute. And popular color eyes are blue and lilac among kryptonians no brown or green eyes (or this colors are very rare).

Also I was wondering about their behaviors. It would be cute and funny if they have instinct reactions similar to cats.

For example (superbat example bc I love this two):

Clark do some difficult superhero staff very well. And after JL meeting Batman aproche him and he's like "Good job Kal" and than Superman not only purrs but also rubs his cheek against B's shoulder (just like cat)

I can't stop thinking about this headcanons and possible fluff I could write...