Lights, Camera, Magic! @allofthelightslcm - Tumblr Blog

On Your Period Sentence Starters

“You know, if I was pregnant, this wouldn’t be a problem.” “Am I dying? I feel like I’m dying.” “At least I know I’m not pregnant…” “I don’t even want kids! This is stupid.” “I can eat whatever I want. I deserve it.” “How have I not passed out from bloodloss? Seriously.” “I hate everyone. And everything.” “Why does God hate me?!” “The government needs to start paying for tampons.” “I just want to curl up in a ball and die.” “I don’t want to go to work. Why do I have to go to work?’ “I’m just sick and tired and bloated and gross.” “I’m so hungry.” “I hate my life.” “Where is my heating pad?!” “People should just stay clear of me during this time in my life.” “I’m too sensitive. And angry.” “I’m so horny but I’m so gross.” “I thought it was only meant to last like 5 days. What is this?” “ I’m seriously going to kill someone.” “Oh my god oh my god oh my god I think I’m leaking.” “Fuck. I just sneezed. Oh, that did NOT feel good.” “I think it’s creeping up my back, END ME.” “LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE.” “There is nothing ‘vagical’ about this!” “I’m on my period. According to society, I’m allowed to be a bitch.”

[text]: Just checking in on you. Let me know you’re okay and how things are going. xoxo

[text]: Hey hun. Im good. Just been super busy. Got a side gig that keeping me pretty busy. How have you been??

#minervashogwarts

mitski-miyawakis

story time.

beyondplusultra

the look in your eyes is what gets me.

updatepls-deactivated20180722

“so i return to my body.. from the other plane of existence.. in which i scream”

DEAD

localgays2

“Story time.

I have this one white friend.

And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, I’m not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] She’s not even my friend, she’s just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ‘kay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and she’s like,

“Jenny, what are you?” and, you know, that’s like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] “what FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously you’re not from here.” And I’m like, “um, I’m Chinese.”

And she’s like “What? You’re Chinese?”

And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know why that’s so much of a surprise.”

And she’s like “Well, I thought you said you were Asian.”

And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are… I, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t even… you know, whatever.

So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: “You know, China, China, you see, the country that I’m from, is a part of Asia.”

And she’s like, “Where’s Asia?”

[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.

And I say, “Well, Asia consists of, you know..” and I list the different Asian countries and she’s like “Whaat?”

And I’m like [sarcastically] it’s, it’s this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. It’s a continent! And she’s like “A continent?”

And I’m like “Yes.”

And she goes, “so it’s not a country?”

I’m like, “No.”

And she’s like “What’s the difference?”

And I’m like [deep breath] “America, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but they’re also Canadian…”

And she’s like “I don’t understand.”

And I’m like “It’s okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chinese” and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.”

katjohnadams

I WILL ALWAYS REBLOG THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT IS TOO REAL, TOO TRUE.

muffintop-malachite-deactivated

I’m actually crying