The Invasive and Compulsory Binary System within the Transgender Community
I am not a woman. I am not a man.
I am somewhere on the spectrum; constantly changing.
I use they/them pronouns and I like to fluctuate between the terms non-binary and genderfluid, as they leave room for fluidity and change, if necessary.
Since discovering my gender identity within the last year, I have felt a great sense of empowerment and freedom. I am able to move through the world identifying in a way that makes sense to me in a way I didn’t even know possible. I am able to embrace the parts of myself that I didn’t think were acceptable to embrace as the “girl” I was socialized as. I am able to make a deeper connection to my queer identity and also connect with others who feel the same empowerment and solidarity in our non-binary/trans identities. But I’m hesitant to claim trans, and I’m not alone in this dilemma.
I am hesitant because society has a warped perception of what transgender is. Though it is an umbrella term for ALL who do not identify as cisgender, it is not the binary structure that society has appropriated it to be. Sometimes, it is “MtF” and “FtM”. Sometimes there are folks who identify as trans men or trans women, in a way that they fit society’s inaccurate ideas of trans folks having to go from “one gender to the other”. And I understand; look at the only trans representation we have: Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, Caitlyn Jenner. All trans women who self-identify as women, and in addition, fit the gendered stereotype of what “women” look like, as they are feminine in the sense of our cultural ideas of femininity in women, and they are all incredibly attractive women, in the realm of conventional attraction within Westernized media.
The problem with seeing transgender identities through a binary lens is that it erases the non-binary identities that also fall under the trans umbrella, implying that there is only acceptance for those who “pass”, or conform to traditional ideas of how men and women should look. It tells non-binary folk that they MUST fit into one or the other, or they are not trans or trans enough.
It tells my trans-masculine partner that he can’t be on testosterone, use masculine pronouns, and reject the label of “man” simultaneously.
It tells me, a genderfluid individual, that because I present as feminine, I must be a girl, and cannot identify as transgender, the community in which I belong.
It tells trans boys and men that they are not allowed to be feminine, or they aren’t really trans boys if they are lacking a particular amount of masculinity.
It tells trans women that they can’t be women unless they are inherently feminine in the ways society values femininity.
It leads to the misconceptions around transgender as an identity in which can be different for many.
It leads to uncomfortable and unacceptable questions from friends, medical professionals, and strangers, such as “when are you getting surgery? Are you on hormones? What do you have down there? When are you going on hormones? How do you have sex?”
The problem with the binary lens is it makes the idea of being trans a clear-cut picture, which it isn’t. The binary system, in connection to the transgender community relates being trans to physicality and ONLY physicality, which defeats the purpose of trans being an identity. There ARE trans folks who don’t feel the need to go on hormone replacement therapy or have surgery. There are some trans folks who do. There are some trans folks who experience dysphoria on multiple levels, and there are some trans folks who don’t. But we are a diverse, fluid, and often non-conforming community, and that is just the point. We as a society need to look past the single story of what it means to be transgender and look more in depth to the variety of identities within. We need to be just as accepting of the trans folks who don’t “pass” as the ones who do. We need to let trans boys be feminine and let trans girls be masculine if they please. We need to let non-binary folks claim the trans identity without feeling like they can’t because they “appear” to be one gender or the other. In essence, we need to stop assuming anyone’s gender, and additionally lifting up those who have diverse gender identities.
Maybe then, with that mindset, we can get past the microaggressive and inappropriate questions about genitalia, and the locked gender roles that are in place even for transgender folks. We can get past the idea that somebody who “looks” like the gender you assume they are may not be; and accept that without questioning. We can stop telling non-binary folks (especially those who are read in society as cisgender) that they are not trans because they don’t want to physically transition. If we can get past these things, we can work on focusing on what is urgently important in the trans community:
Trans women of color are globally the largest demographic of assaulted and murdered people.
Almost half of transgender folks attempt suicide in their lifetime
The majority of transgender people cannot get jobs due to transphobia, and therefore must turn to sex work, which can be dangerous.
Homelessness in transgender communities is on the rise, as well as a fall in populations in higher education.
It is legal in most states in the U.S. to be fired for being trans, or turned away from housing.
There is so much more, but what the binary system works to do within the trans community is shift the focus to the body, the physical transition (while assuming that’s necessary), the level at which someone “passes”, and ultimately, to only accept certain transgender folk as authentically trans.
With that, it takes the attention and focus away from the very real, very imminent, human rights violations, and macro and microaggresional transphobia that transgender folks face every single day. THAT is what we need to focus on. Because, my friends, we as the transgender community are in a state of emergency.