It could have been him, but he chose not to.
- 7
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@alluringdaydreamer
It could have been him, but he chose not to.
- 7
“forgive all the versions of yourself that operated out of fear instead of growth, the ones that viewed comfort zones as safe havens and abandoned boundaries to keep other people happy, forgive all the versions of yourself that didn’t know that love begins with how you treat you.”
— iambrillyant
I hope you find the type of love in life that makes you feel at ease. I hope birdsong will sound like music to you again. I hope your home is warm during the winter and cool in the summer. I hope people smile at you enough. I hope you wake up curious for what's to come. I hope you listen to your body's aches as signals instead of mere hindrances. I hope that when you reach out, there's a hand to grasp onto. I hope that when you laugh, bursts of happiness accompany the sound. I hope you live a life where today is just as exciting as tomorrow. I hope you don't feel guilt over moving on from the things that were your fault. I hope you rest well. I hope you eat enough. I hope you hold your hopes tightly. I hope you allow them to transform into dreams. I hope your dreams come true.
“There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words, and still not understand you. And there are others who will understand — without you even speaking a word.”
— Yasmin Mogahed
It's really tiring to explain to other people.
Please stop attacking the past versions of you. They were doing their best at the time and they got you here. It’s amazing how much progress you’ve made and how much you’ve grown but please don’t think your past self lacked worth in any way.
“I want to talk about what happened without mentioning how much it hurt. There has to be a way. To care for the wounds without reopening them. To name the pain without inviting it back into me.”
— Lora Mathis, If There’s A Way Out I’ll Take It
At this point in my life, I have no time to be weak. If a certain person wants to cut ties with me for whatever reason even if they are family, I should just move on. I should not trust anyone anymore. I like how I am just here but nobody knows what I'm feeling or thinking about. I have not posted my thoughts on social media for almost two years now. I feel like my thoughts aren't safe. Even other close friends do not know I have a ticking time bomb in my brain. I just do not feel connected to anyone anymore. I am also less talkative as I age. It is tiring to socialize and I think no one gets me. Life made me insensitive. I am sorry if someone will vent and cry in front of me. I will just stare but I will listen. This must be how it feels like to be an empty shell. I gave away a lot. They took away a lot.
didn’t change, just saw things differently
Another shitty day ended. I cannot wait to have a better job than this one. I only stayed because of the work from home set-up. Everyday is repetitive and draining. Plus, there is a colleague who acts like a boss and is disrespectful to everyone. He sleeps during work hours and is still paid while we work our asses off. My overtimes where I worked with integrity were scrubbed off (deleted thus unpaid) while this guy sleeps and boss around. We both applied for a higher position and he got interviewed while I was not given a chance. They claimed that they tried calling me numerous times but I did not receive any. I guess sometimes being a pet has its benefits. Lol. A new plan was cascaded through a private message between this colleague and our new boss, which was weird. So I sent a private message to our new boss about the task at hand since it will be affected with this new plan but he left my message on seen. Lol. Even my co-SME was left confused. This new plan which was not formally cascaded to other leaders means more workload for me (since this colleague just sleeps) because this means supporting the whole site and I am alone on weekends. What shit is this. Ghaadd I hope I will find a new job soon which offers work from home still.
do u ever miss your own energy. like damn what happened to me
Just because there’s comfort in things that you’ve known your whole life doesn’t mean you should stay there forever
burnt out.
Mood Check: are you happy?
As I grow older, I started to smile less and to care less. I quickly lose interest in people who only remembers me when they need me. I got tired of people who cannot stand my true self. I do not tolerate anymore those who cannot treat me as a being worth of respect. I am so done.