The Hand is here! Where is Voigt’s dinner? GUMBY IS HERE ALSO
This video is so wholesome.
fregs
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
noise dept.

shark vs the universe

roma★
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
🪼
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Peter Solarz
DEAR READER
occasionally subtle
h
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Mike Driver
wallacepolsom

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$LAYYYTER

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cherry valley forever

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@alpacaleho
The Hand is here! Where is Voigt’s dinner? GUMBY IS HERE ALSO
This video is so wholesome.
fregs
Isn’t it funny how danger makes people passionate?
Zelda Fitzgerald, Save Me The Waltz (via wordsnquotes)
When she's Black...
With or without Weave
Thick or slim
Tall or short
With or without disabilities
And Carefree
I love this post 💕
The palette of black beauty!
this is actually very true
Words to remember.
baby: f..f..
mom: ! first words!
baby: fff-f
mom: "family?!"
baby: fu...
mom: "fun?"
baby: ...FUNCTIONS. COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS DONT YOU FORGET THEM BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT THEM AND YOUR XXXX TYPE IS IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT THEM BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOUR XXXX IS BASED UPON. YOUR FUNCTIONS. YOUR COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS ARE THE BASE AND SOLE BEING OF YOUR MYERS BRIGGS TYPE SO READ YOUR COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS BEFORE YOU START JUMPING AROUND FROM P & J AND CLAIMING YOU'RE THIS AND YOU'RE THAT BECAUSE YOU HAVE THIS AND YOU HAVE THAT AND DON'T GIVE INTO STEREOTYPES THEYRE NOT ALWAYS CORRECT. STICK TO YOUR COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS. REMEMBER: Ti/Fe, Si/Ne, Te/Fi, Se/Ni
Southern Gothic Mbti
Intj: The Reverend. A hulking figure in black, the kind of person who was born to be an intimidating silhouette. His voice is bass thunder, and when he tells his flock to repent, shivers shoot down everyone’s spines. He seems absolutely, nearly intimately, certain of God, and absolutely, almost intimately certain that God is terrifying. It always seems like it storms more when he is angry about something.
Entj: A sharp old woman with a high collar and a pair of knitting needles that glint like daggers. The way they clink together always make you shiver a little. She’s rich- owns half the land around here and says she’s got important friends in the city who want to “develop” it. She’s got big plans for this place, she says. She scolds you for playing in the creek on her land and the night after you play in the creek you have a nightmare that her important friends from the city come down, and that her important friends from the city are buzzards, and they fly, cackling, in a tornado formation, gobbling up all the places you love.
Esfj: The way her eyes twinkle when she sparks up a conversation makes you nervous, but she makes the best sweet tea in town, and you can never seem to resist sitting down with her to have a glass. You find miasma of lilac scented perfume, gazing into her soft, heavily powdered face. “Bless your little heart” she says when the conversation is over. As you walk away from her porch, you realize that you don’t remember what exactly you just talked about, but you have a sinking feeling you might have told her a secret or two about yourself.
Isfj: on the edge of town there is a kind-eyed old man who lives alone. He whittles animals out of wood. He makes corn-husk dolls and apple dolls and he will give them to children who visit him. People she their heads and sigh when they talk about him- he talks about his wife like she’s still alive. He makes her dinner and buys her new clothes. Every once in awhile somebody will mention that the dirt on his wife’s grave is a little lumpier than than it was when she was first buried- like somebody had been digging there. But nobody ever talks about that for very long. afterall, he ain’t hurting nobody. Best to leave these things alone.
Intp: In class and in church she is quiet, often teased. A face overly solemn for a little girl, and two long, but the inside of her room looks like madness and wonder. it is full of pressed butterflies and jars with stick insects or dormant cocoons. With dried leaves and jars of elderberries. With junebug shells. With fossils. Sometimes when boys make fun of her, they notice later that day that their milk at lunchtime tastes a little funny, and from the other side of the playground, her nose in a book, she smirks. She’s a concocter, and she’s brewing something big- one day, they’ll all see what she can do.
Entp: He can talk up a storm, that one. As a kid he had a reputation for telling tales but they thought he’d grow out of it. He never did, really. His ideas just got bigger and wilder and now he remains a charming scoundrel- he’ll tell you he’s building a hot air balloon and he’s going to fly it all the way to Chicago. He’ll tell you he made a special kind of glasses that lets you see people’s bones. He will tell you these things you’ll only half know whether he’s joking or not.
Istj: the middle aged schoolteacher with the tight bun, the drab clothes, the soft voice, and the forgettable face. Used to be people would feel sorry for her, or walk all over her. Until one day funny things started happening in the school house- the kids would hear a gravelly voice laughing around lunch time. They’d come in the morning to see jagged claw marks down the door. Erasers would fly through the air and chills would rush through the room during long division lessons. “This is my school house,” she said, “And I won’t have any haints in it.” Everyone laughed at her, but they say the next night she walked up the hill alone to the schoolhouse, with eight carefully sharpened stakes, a cross, some chalk and some big bundles of thorny plants. And they say the next day she came back home with a black eye and her hair all messed up. And everything was back to normal in the schoolhouse after that, but she walks with a slight limp now.
Estj: The best hunter and trapper in town, with a house full of trophies and taxidermied animals. It seems, sometimes, like he can’t talk about anything else besides the things he’s killed. He wears lots of hair grease, and has a sharp part and a sweaty handsomeness. Lots of the girls in town are always trying to court him- you think he smells always like raw meat. You notice that there is always just a little bit of blood coming out from under his fingernails.
Infj: the old blind lady who is always on her porch in a green rocking chair. if you water her ferns for her, she will fish you out a sticky peppermint from the jar she keeps beside her, and then she’ll clasp your hand, quote a verse of the bible and tell you what you need to watch out for in the future. (“watch out for them crows,” “watch out for the way the creek looks at you sideways”) no one has ever seen the inside of her house, and no one remembers a time when she was not old.
enfj: she knows your mama. She knows everybody’s mama. She is the queen of big hats and knowing people’s mamas. She makes all the church brochures and she is very concerned with the state of everyone’s soul and she says “you behave now- I’ve got eyes everywhere you know.” And you thought it was a figure of speech but sometimes you’ll look at a milk snake or an owl and their eyes will seem too green, the wrong shape, and a little bit… familiar.
Esfp: Everyone calls her “granny” but she’s nobody’s granny really. She could be anywhere from 45-85, her face a little leathery and well laugh lined. She walks with a knobby walking stick and carries a mother of pearl flask with her wherever she goes. She spends most of her time sitting outside the corner store flirting with the farmers in their overalls. If you pay her a couple dollars to go buy a little more booze, she’ll tell you a dirty joke.
Isfp: “No good,” your mama tells you, “will ever come of that one.” But there is something about the way the isfp looks, isn’t there, hunkered down behind the schoolhouse aloofly and effortlessly smoking a stolen cigarette. You’ve taken to hanging around with him- Only then came the night he drank half a jar of moonshine on his own, punched the wall of his barn until his knuckles were bloody, cussed the moon for hours. You were a little scared then, but you already love him, and you always will; it’s too late, now.
Enfp: everyone is in love with her. She is wild, beautiful, creative, and always going barefoot. Plays a mean banjo, likes to dance in mud puddles, and seems as though she might be made of sunlight. She says she dreams of running off to the city, she writes poetry in a red notebook and wants to get it published in magazines. When she goes, there will be conspicuous absences, the smell of just-after-a-rain, everyone will wonder if she was ever real.
Infp: the youngest Kelly boy has always been a little off, bless him. Not like the other kids. The way he never smiles and barely speaks, just stares into the distance, no matter how much the others pinch him take his toys. He never cries when they hurt him, and has a pet mouse that he keeps in the front pocket of his overalls.sometimes he says he sees people that aren’t there, sometimes he looks scared and says he sees people with no faces, and his mama tells him to hush.
Istp: the town drunk’s tomboy daughter comes swaggering up the road in overalls, and you spot her from the porch. She waves at you, hops your fence. “Got a secret” she says, and she opens her palm. In her hand is a pocket watch with initials on it that aren’t hers, and two human teeth. She grins, and her gums dripping crimson. she’s been fighting again. She’ll be fighting her whole life.
Estp: Every summer, around June, a vacuum cleaner in a sharp pinstripe suit comes to town. Knocks on all the doors and talks about politics in a reedy voice before showing you the latest model of the Hoovermatic 8000. Year after year, the newest model is always the Hoovermatic 8000. He makes good conversation, but there’s something strange about his face. Too many teeth? Smile too big? Everyone always knows not to invite him inside, but nobody ever tells you why.
These are all great, my only caveat is that the ENTP one is a little weak but what a great imagination these all came from, would love to see a tv show or podcast based on it!
sunday mornings like
me: *cums* family: *knocks on door* you ready for church? me: YEAAAAH
March Horoscopes~
Aries Moon or Rising: You’re on the starting line and raring to go. Take a moment and enjoy this break, it’s not going to last forever. In fact, they’re brewing your mojo up right now and you won’t be sitting this still again for a long time. The coming elixir is extra powerful as your ruler Mars retros back into Sagittarius for a stretch, joining Saturn before heading back into its ancient territory, Scorpio. The first couple weeks of March don’t appear to further the plot, use it as a training ground to prepare for all the power you’re about to have at your disposal. Serious Romance is on the horizon by month’s end.
Taurus Moon or Rising: Honey, just act as if you’re gonna be drunk all month and take appropriate precautions. All month? Yeah, I think so. See, it’s not a bad thing at all IF you know what’s happening. So many people and distractions are coming your way and everyone is just vibing off you, you’re so fizzy and light and yummy. This is a heady month, with a Jupiter-Saturn-Neptune T Square on the 5th, a Solar Eclipse in Pisces on the 8th and Lunar Eclipse in Virgo on the 23rd and various lesser Yods and T Squares…your flower crowned head fairly spins. Try to focus on one point, particularly in your work sector, and avoid the histrionics of your fellows. Say ‘Yes’ to everything on the 29th and don’t you dare be sitting at home on the couch. Fate calls!
Gemini Moon or Rising: I’ll be doing a separate post on the Eclipses, but felt I really needed to give you a heads’ up here. To quote one of the greats “Love and work, that is all there is.” There’s no way out of either and with the first Solar Eclipse in your career sector and Mars zippin’ between your daily routine and partnership sectors, you’re not going to get a break. And of all the signs, you’re most equipped to handle the pace. Use this time to make major traction in your work and love life, there will be plenty of time to decompress by the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse of the 23rd. Is there something you can do on a daily basis that takes less time than brushing your teeth and helps you let go of your favorite pastime of being super anxious? There is! Hint: Starts with a “B” and you’re doing it right now.
Cancer Moon or Rising: Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is there is no bad news. You’ve got Mars retro about to head back into your health and routines sector. Daily life could start to feel even more constrained. Jupiter is still giving you nothing but love in your 9th House of higher education and travel. Take your luck where you can get it, this is THE perfect time to go legit degree wise AND get the hell outta Dodge. It will never be more supported than now. Your creative fires are as stoked as ever, see if you can apply them to your emotional life. Can you take what you’ve been given, like maybe disappointment, and turn it into something else? You’re made for greater things, go out and get it.
Leo Moon or Rising: Are you comfortable up there? Have everything you need?…You don’t hear any rumbling do you? Oh because the New Moon Solar Eclipse is happening in your house of SEX AND DEATH AND OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY. No, not a big deal or anything! Well, since you asked…$ has been going well for you, and it may get even better. Secrets and secret feelings may reveal themselves to you in the coming months, remember, Eclipses influence things up to six months into the future. Any sort of psychic or physical travel you can do will only up your creativity and openness. You’re in a unique position to be able to absorb everything you read or hear the next 6 weeks, it’s like your super power. In love or looking for it? Venus attracts from your house of partnership through the 12th, you vibrate with vim and vigor and no one who meets you now will be immune to your unusually airy charms.
Virgo Moon or Rising: This Eclipse pair light up your house of marriage then self, in that order. You have a tendency to get love addict-y around partners but if you’ve beaten that then you may have a new real love partner on the horizon. And if you haven’t beaten that, you may have a new enemy on the horizon who is not what they appear. Keep your eyes open and don’t make any fast decisions. You’ll have plenty of coming-down time by the end of the Month to look before you leap. In the meantime, enjoy the extra jolt you’ll get from the intrigue. You’re going to take a swim through the underworld and it’s going to do you some good as sitting on the shore trying not to get dirty becomes such a bore after a while. Like good acid, you appreciate the shift in perspective but don’t expect it to last forever. You won’t even need a coin in your pocket for this trip as you WILL be coming back.
Libra Moon or Rising: You’ve had trouble expressing yourself and doing what’s good for both YOU and those you care about at the same. March could bring you some needed balance as the opportunity to walk a previously hidden middle path comes to light. Soothe away any discord with some extra time set aside to enjoy a passion igniting performance or time with a loved one. Speaking of which, you might find yourself “torn between two lovers” or loves as the case may be. How do you decide? Lean toward that which embodies your longer term goals. What feeds your spirit? I know you know! The equivocating comes from wanting to do what appears right vs. what is right for you. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty or appear slightly uncouth, the rewards are so worth it. You own the month from the 23rd on, so save your best moves and most enchanting spells until then. You’ll be in peak form and able to glamour the globe in one go, why would anyone even want to resist?
Scorpio Moon or Rising: Party vamp is hardly your image, but the beginning of March sees you on a mental vacation. And though there are always depths to plunder and mysteries to solve, really just go with the spectacular flow for now. Soon enough, you’ll have to get back to work. In fact, you’ll be all work and no play for awhile. But this time, it will be more on your own terms with opportunities to plump up your biz with helping hands and maybe some investors. Yeah, Saturn is coming back to town in a while and you’ve got that weird yin/yang money thing going on…but you wouldn’t be you if there wasn’t some bizzaro back story happening. You prefer an intense dive to a smooth sail, and the next 7 months see a bit of both happening. You’ve shed a lot of dead weight in the form of old ideas, tyrants and superficial companions since last Halloween. You’re not even in the same movie anymore, time to decide how you’re gonna play it. Mogul, siren or reflecting surface?
Sagittarius Moon or Rising: Where’s your bravado, your high stepping swagger? You, who are usually so optimistic, have been plagued by self doubt. I mean, I have always counted on you to sell the fairy dust and bang that ladder against the stars. Without you, there is no magic. You keep trying to fly, you remember flying, you even get off the ground a bit…only to thud back down to earth. March sees a flicker of return to your old spark but keep your expectations in check for now. The Solar Eclipse will be a watershed moment for you, for Sag Risings it will be happening in your root chakra which ties you to your ancient past. You don’t know you anymore. This trip through the nether isn’t over yet, but I predict you are going to come back a more mythical creature than ever before. You will come with powers and gifts you did not possess prior to this journey. And then, look the fuq out.
Capricorn Moon or Rising: There has been a lot of upheaval with elders in your family lately making work focus just impossible. March sees a return to normalcy, though not to as things were before. All this activity is messing with your chillax setting, make sure you’ve got a solid routine in place for getting into your zone. Please do not make every inch of your personal space into a double duty work space as well. The Lunar Eclipse later in the month is in your career sector throwing into stark relief your need for equilibrium and garden fresh ideas. Replace staid patterns with crisp new ways of doing things, take a risk! Are you really who you want other people to think you are? Reconsider that deal you made with yourself and you-know-who, you’re a power player and part of that means you can do what you want, IF you say you can. Late March is the best time to renegotiate and get what’s best for YOU.
Aquarius Moon or Rising: Who’s that secret crush you keep cyber stalking? And then mucking it up with all your wordy ideology and how different you are and yawn…see, I’m not even listening. I love you Aquarius, and so I can straight tell you like a savage to quit yer yammerin’. There are only two items on your agenda right now, no wait, three. 1) Calm Your Tits 2) Focus On The Similarities 3) Cultivate Allies. The Solar Eclipse, which we’ll go into more in depth later, is square in your $ sector. But money is never just about money (except when it is). How are your emotions and your finances tied, and are these ties helping you live up to your own professed values? Though we already know the answer, I would caution you to not use it as a freak-out launch pad and instead, take a meditative approach. In March, your super power, if you choose to accept it, is to observe yourself and others without judgement or trying to change anything. Radical Acceptance or…yeah, keep doing what you’re doing.
Pisces Moon or Rising: You’re the star of the March Show. The Solar Eclipse throws your emotional landscape and your sense of self into brilliant relief. Will it be a gaudy, over the top production or a refreshing swim into your spiritual depths? An odd mix of money and the divine continue to come into play as Saturn in your career sector forces you and those about you to take your public self extremely seriously. There’s a good chance later in the month that anyone else’s resources that you’ve been waiting on will come to fruition and plop into your cherubic lap. You’re about to turn a corner and experience a sudden psychic rearrangement early this month, the kind people spend years working to achieve. Lest you think March is just one golden ticket after another, let me remind you that you are not to take your eyes or attention off of any business or romantic partner for the duration. Keep your hands on your wallet and don’t slack off, this is not the time to leave details to others and then feign ignorance later on. This March can be the beginning of your legendary breakthrough, make it happen!
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Me and my gang walkin to fuk u up.
The Mother Trump feeds it’s Trumplings a small loan of a million dollars