Daddy (Charlie Swan x Reader)
A/N: Guys I just watched twilight 😩 it was so scary :((((( but anyway i thought charlie swan was kind of a dilf so i wrote this little thing :))))))) please be nice this is my first fanfic ever!!!!!
Jacob sits on the windowsill, legs dangling over the edge, the moonlight painting him into a jet black silhouette. I’m lying on the bed in a sensual unicorn onesie, holding back tears.
“It’s not right,” Jacob growls softly into the night. “This man’s no good for you. Does he even know what your true form is, Tentacles?”
“Why does he have to know?” you shoot back angrily. “It’s just a casual thing. I’ll forget about him in no time.” Under your breath, you add, “And don’t call me Tentacles. You know I hate that name. You know Dad was still a coke addict when he chose it.”
“Alright,” he sighs. “What do you want me to call you?”
“That’s so fucking ugly. I will not call you that.”
“Don’t make me angry,” you growl. “You know what happens when I’m angry, Jacob.”
He punches the wall out of anger. The whole house caves in. Distantly, I can hear the screams of all our brothers as they are crushed to death beneath the debris, but I don’t give a shit. I hate them all anyway.
“You need to hear this, Tentacles!” Jacob yells sexily. “I don’t want you seeing that man anymore! It’s only gonna end badly, for the both of you!”
“Shut the hell up, Jacob! How do you know what’s good for me?”
His eyes soften, and he slumps back against the bed. He stares at his own hairy hands as though he can’t recognize them. “Because I’m your older brother and I care about you, Tentacles. I don’t want to see you hurt. I’m only doing this to protect you.”
I’m so angry i can feel my skin harden into magic rainbow scales that glimmer in the moonlight. Oh 𝓝𝓸... Jacob made me angry. Im transforming. This isn’t good. I don’t want to accidentally hurt him or drag him into the river and hold his head underwater until he drowns and his body gets washed upstream into Portland again (it’s one of my silly little quirks)... 𝓝𝓸. I have to get out. For his own good. Quickly, i leap out the window and flop on the ground until I reach the banks of the river. I have to get into the water soon, or I’ll run out of oxygen and die.
Before I jump into the ice cold water, I yell out of spite, “You can’t tell me what to do, Jacob! You’re not my daddy!”
Suddenly, at the mention of ‘daddy,’ Charlie Swan is summoned from the police station in his policeman uniform with his porn actor mustache and manifests through the cold autumn air. He stares at you, shocked, as you flop madly around and asphyxiate.
“Did someone say daddy?” he asks breathlessly.
“I-I-I-I-I-I did,” you gasp. “Quick, Charlie, dunk me into the river before I asphyxiate and die!”
There’s a panicked look into his eyes as he picks you up roughly and carries you in his arms. You’re a little shy sitting naked in his arms like that (every time you transform into your true mermaid form, you rip out of your clothes... another silly little quirk xD), but his coarse thick dilfy dark dominant arm hairs feel so nice and gentle and warm and sweet and rough... but not too rough, just the perfect amount of roughness... on your bare skin. You blush. He dunks you headfirst into the river.
“Is that better, baby girl?” He asks.
You bring your head out of the water, dripping wet, and say, “y-y-6ay-y-y3s daddy”
He stares somberly into the moonlight and shimmers. “Good. If you died... I-I wouldn’t know what to do. I can’t imagine living without you, baby girl.”
“Even though you’ve only known me three days and we managed to have sex fifty-three times in that brief timespan?”
“*precisely* because I’ve only known you three days and we managed to have sex fifty-three times in that brief timespan.”
You blush. “C-c-c-c-c-can we do it right now daddy?”
“Anything for you, baby girl,” he smirks sexily. You blink and suddenly all of his clothes have been torn off and he’s wading into the water after you. God he’s so fucking sexy. You give him a sexy stare as your papilla widens and you sexily release dozens of your eggs into the water, just ready to be fertilized. He smirks sexily as he sexily releases his sperm, which floats all the way down to the bank of the river and fertilizes all your eggs.
“Oh yeah daddy,” you moan.
Suddenly he sobers up and stares at the moon through the surface of the cool blue water. “We can’t do this anymore, Tentacles.”
You immediately start sobbing and searching for a cliff to launch yourself off of. “BUT WHY DADDY”
“Because.......” he sighs. “I’m a man. You’re a fish. It just won’t work.”
“I’m not a fish!” you scream. “Okay, I’m only part fish! But I’m part salmon! That’s the sexiest fish!”
“I know that’s the sexiest fish,” he confesses. “But babygirl... it’s just not right. I need to protect you. Listen... what if I’m... not the hero? What if I’m the bad guy?”
You sigh and stare somberly up at the moon. “Then... I guess I’m in love with the bad guy, aren’t I?”
He stares at you somberly, eyes shining. “Do you mean it, babyiglr?”
“Of course.” You bite your lip, afraid to go on. “What if I... turned you? What if I turned you into a mermaid? So we could be together forever? Mermaids don’t die, you know. I know we’ve only known each other three days now and we’ve managed to have sex fifty-four times in that timespan, but I... I just know you’re the one, daddy. I want to be with you forever.”
He starts sobbing. “That’s beautiful.”
You’re about to mark him into a sexy shirtless dilfy merman by tearing off your scales and forcing him to consume them one by one when suddenly the water above you ripples and Jacob crashes into the water in his wolf form. He barks at Charlie until Charlie starts crying.
“How dare you touch my sister?” he growls.
“I’m sorry, Jacob!” Charlie begs as Jacob begins to mercilessly maul him to death.
“𝓝𝓸 JACOB STOP!” you scream, trying to pull him off of your lover and soon-to-be father of your seven thousand children.
Jacob turns to stare at you, his eyes softening. You can see a hint of his humanity in those dark brown orbs.
“This isn’t like you, Jacob,” you say quietly. “Look at me, Jacob. This isn’t the real you. You’re letting all the demons inside of you out. I know it’s hard, but you have to hold them in. For your own good.”
“Tentacles...” he says softly, as all of his hair starts to fall out and his skin stretches and disfigures into the shape of an extremely buff human male.
You hug him and sob into his shoulder. “I thought I was gonna lose you, Jacob...”
“Don’t you understand, Tentacles?” he says, staring somberly at the moon. “I would never give you up. I would never let you down, run around, or desert you.”
You smile at him when suddenly you hear the sounds of Charlie desperately gasping for air as he drowns in the river. You immediately start sobbing. “don’t DIE DADDY!”
“Don’t worry, I’ll save him” Jacob growls, immediately grabbing Charlie by the stomach and throwing him onto the bank with his superhuman strength. He immediately starts gasping for breath.
“Is he gonna die?” you sob.
“𝓝𝓸,” Jacob says, staring off into the distance. “Not if you give him mouth to mouth. That’s the only way to save him now.”
“Why can’t you give him mouth to mouth?”
You sigh, resigning yourself to your fate. You lean your head down, about to give Charlie mouth to mouth and revive him, when suddenly Edward Cullen bursts through the trees, carrying Bella in his arms. She’s limp, and hopefully dead, but when you get a closer look at her you realize that unfortunately she’s still breathing.
“Jacob, I need your help,” Edward screams, sparkling even though it’s moonlight and for some reason he’s shirtless. “It’s Bella... she almost died again.”
Jacob stares somberly at the moon. “What happened this time?”
“She fell down the stairs and immediately fell into a coma,” Edward screams. “And then she somehow flew out through a window, where she sustained numerous lacerations to the skin. And then she fell off a cliff, where she broke all 206 of her bones. And then the smell of her blood attracted all the nearby vampires, who immediately began to feast on her blood. I had to suck all the poison out of her body for an hour and twenty seven minutes while at the same time resuscitating her and fighting off all seventeen vampires while simultaneously ripping my clothes off.”
“I don’t understand,” Jacob says. “What do you need me for?”
“Shut the fuck up!” Edward screams, turning to you. “Nobody cares! Can’t you see someone’s dying over here?” He sets Bella down in the grass and begins sobbing and staring somberly at the moon. “Jacob I need you to give her mouth to mouth.”
“Why me?” Jacob growls. You begin to perform the Heimlich maneuver on Charlie, but you’re too distracted by the sight of edward’s sparkling six-pack to focus.
“Because....” Edward screams, staring sexily I mean somberly at the moon. “If I do it.......... I won’t be able to control myself.”
“Just shut up and do it, Jacob!”
Jacob immediately rips off his shirt in order to perform mouth to mouth more efficiently and brings his lips to Bella’s. Edward gets so jealous watching them, he leaps three inches through the air and punches Jacob across the face.
“What did you do that for?”
“Don’t you dare touch her!” Edward screams. “She’s mine and mine alone!”
“You abandoned her!” Jacob growls. “She’s mine now!”
“Guys Charlie’s dying what do I—“
Jacob immediately unleashes his wolf form and begins to maul Edward, but Edward continuously punches him, sparkling in the moonlight all the while. The fight lasts for thirty-two seconds, before Jacob rips Edward’s face off and begins cannibalizing that ugly mf’s body. You watch in horror, and then you realize that Charlie’s still dying. You can’t save him in time and he eventually dies. You get so sad that you start sobbing and fling yourself off a cliff where you hit the stone bed beneath the river and die on impact.
theartofmadeline
jbbartram-illu
tangentwithtanner
germansingergirl
janainaart
