How quickly we forget the dangerous crow boy who’s job it is to destroy plastic

ellievsbear
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Mike Driver
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
trying on a metaphor
todays bird
Xuebing Du
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Game of Thrones Daily
Not today Justin
Today's Document
AnasAbdin

shark vs the universe
Jules of Nature
Cosimo Galluzzi
almost home
taylor price
will byers stan first human second
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

⁂
seen from United States

seen from Türkiye

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Brazil

seen from Argentina
seen from Lithuania

seen from Germany
seen from United States

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Philippines
seen from Germany

seen from United States
@alpha-squishy
How quickly we forget the dangerous crow boy who’s job it is to destroy plastic
Wow thanks for the ingot man let me just inspect the quality real quick
Dude come on
@hauntingskiss
This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.
This stupid exchange
between friends has become a
cultural icon.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
"impulse buy" (noun) anything I have been low-key thinking about purchasing for 3 months, an item that subsequently spent 24-48 hours in my cart as I went through each and every state of grief, and which I then bought, in a desperate, the-guilt-can't-get-me-if-I'm-fast-enough rush.
I had a vision
These miis getting diagnosed today
mcmodernslopcore
Howdy, howdy, folks.
For many years (ten now, about which, more soon) McMansion Hell has featured many prominent and diverse atrocities from all over these great United States and sometimes beyond them. However, most of these posts have consisted of houses built during the McMansion Era proper -- from the 80s up through around the early 2010s.
This is for a number of reasons. First of all: I like these houses because they are insane. Second of all, they are indeed quite different from one another -- they represent the owner's idiosyncratic if poorly rendered desires and fantasies. They are heavily psychologically loaded buildings. One family dreams endlessly of Tuscany, another wants to recreate the mall. All interiorize previously exterior forms of consumption.
These houses were also very expensive to build compared to their contemporary iterations: all real, solid wood cabinetry and trim, wrought iron railings, marble floors, elaborate murals - none of this is cheap. This is not to say that I'm nostalgic for the classical McMansion (though many are) only that it, like, most other facets of architectural and everyday life, have become progressively cheaper and more bland.
The McMansion never truly goes away. It merely changes shape over time. One of the shapes it currently takes is a particularly loathsome imitation of contemporary high architecture (specifically the kind of houses architects love to build for celebrities in California) executed in the most wretchedly parsimonious manner possible. It feels cheap to use the word 'slop' but their indiscriminate nature - the way they have no regard for why or how the things they imitate even work - allows it. Of all the building forms that could be generated with AI, this is the most likely. At any rate, behold:
Yes this is a real house. Yes you can buy it for $6 million in, yet again, Barrington, IL. It has 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms totaling 11,600 square feet. But most importantly, it looks like dogshit. Ten layers of Photoshop have been used to gussy it up which makes it appear entirely ersatz. Were it not for the interiors, I myself would have trouble trusting my own eyes. Part of the reason it looks so unreal is because the design itself is absurd, as though someone created four equally ugly vessels and threw them up one by one.
In 2017, in a now-deleted essay for Curbed (RIP - they destroyed the archive) I called these types of houses McModerns, simply because they were McMansions dressed up in modernist garb, which they wore no differently than they would Neo-Tudor or Mediterranean (broadly construed.) These houses don't warrant a new neologism, but they do feel like a degraded or perhaps even gonzo version of even that old concept. Slop works fine too, especially because half of what's in these images isn't real.
Much fascinates me about these houses, however one of the most unique elements vis a vis the last 30 years of building is how overtly and almost hostilely masculine they are. Anything that can be construed as feminized - color, softness, ornament - has been ruthlessly purged. They also rip off tech industry minimalism which only ads to their bro-ey nature. While previous iterations of McModernism (think new builds in Colorado with fake wood exteriors) scream dads with IPAs, these houses scream Reddit to me. They are Elon Musk-adjacent in sentiment.
By the way, this is what that room looks like without the fake furniture. It's basically a sunroom.
Whole Foods would like to call in a robbery.
Because these houses are designed by men, for men, no one involved has learned how a kitchen works. Many are calling this setup the "grindset tiktok video kitchen." This is the kitchen you see in those day in the life of an AI startup founder videos your algorithm forces you to watch against your will.
Virtual staging is actual literal slop. In fact, one can say that they were one of the first iterations of the ontological crisis we now face, one of the first instances where one is forced against one's will to question reality, what one sees with one's own eyes. Beyond that, I think virtual staging is literally a form of lying. You can use it to make a space look bigger or smaller than it is. In this it also has a lot in common with AI. This dining room has nothing to do with the world I'm living in. These chairs are not my problem.
It's actually AMAZING how much of what's in this house, beyond the furniture, is fake. Every single material is fake. The stone is aluminum paneling. The plants are plastic. The concrete is printed on some kind of surface (as evidenced through its repetitive pattern), though it's hard to say from just pictures. I don't even trust the floors!!
Ok if you haven't read Kelly Pendegrast's amazing essay "Merchandizing the Void" about how houses are all like stores now, HERE IS THE LINK. Some ideas never die, they just evolve, king. Like you.
Please, I'm very cold.
Unfortunately there are no pictures of the rear exterior of this house, so this is where we will have to conclude for today. That being said, these houses and their antecedents are developing a design language all their own that will, in time, be as culturally rich to us as the houses of yore. The problem is they are less visually interesting. They are houses made to scroll in and scroll right by. Expect to see more of them here, but only if they have something, anything to say.
If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams. (Don’t worry! This doesn’t adjust for inflation! Now’s the perfect time to join!) By the way: new subscribers can buy a year of McMansion Hell for just $12!
Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! (I would seriously appreciate any and all tips because I am in the process of moving house!)
it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed
so true there could be any number of undiscovered species down there all of which are none of my business and never will be. peace and love on (the surface of) planet earth 💕
to anyone in the areas impacted by the wildfire smoke, my #1 biggest piece of advice as someone whos been dealing with wildfire smoke in the NW united states for years, is build yourself a Corsi-Rosenthal Cube
they perform as well as expensive HEPA air cleaners, and are comparatively VERY inexpensive. all you need is a box fan, 4 air filters, a piece of cardboard, and some duct tape!!!!
i think it took us maybe a half hour to put ours together, if that, and we replace the filters every 3 months. it's really made a HUGE difference, both when the air quality is bad, but also with our allergies
Saw these easy to read instructions on Twitter. Stay safe 💚
Great time to start pricing this out by the way, fire season starts… on the summer solstice this year, that’s fun. Signs point to it being a doozy.
watched winter soldier for the first time in 12 years yesterday. unfortunately that movie is still really good
me be like
"Sewing is a gateway drug to thinking through complex problems. It seems really simple; culturally, we make it women's work. Let me tell you: real sewing at any kind of level of proficiency is a bloody magic trick. Sewing, like mold making, involves mental frames that require one to think inside out and backwards. It requires one to work on an order of operations that is often taking into account the reverse. It's a really, really important skill, and if you learn how to sew, you're mostly on your way to carpentry and welding and sheet metal work. I'm not kidding: these are planar forms meeting under rules and conditions. And if you can make a sleeve work, I swear to God, you could build a house."
--Adam Savage
genuinely how it feels to wanna play tomodatchi life all the time but you have actual shit to do
Tomodachi Life: Living The Dream - Personality Chart
Feel free to save and share around. This is just a simple cheat sheet to get the personality you want fast. I made this based on the European localisation btw, the US one should take the same inputs but the descriptions for the personalities might be different. I unno. Enjoy
Ok so gonna share some peak info with yous alls, keep yer voice down
So nintendy is tryin to cover its ass on account of it givin all yous freaks ab-see-lute freedom to make DICK CITY a reality? yous wannas be able to upload your screenshots from your switch? Yous need to get one of these bad boys:
then you take the microSD card outta the switch and do one of these
den yous go like so
den i think yous can handle da rest ;)
anyways if anyone asks, you were never here
*slinks away into the darkness*
*slinks back from the darkness*
okays okays, i hear yous der in the back, yeah theres the...
(ominous pause)
other way
(distant rumble of thunder, wind starts whistling)
looks like we gotta spit some about the "usb-c to usb-a" cable maneuver
so if you know a guy who knows a guy who can put one of these in yer hot lil hands-
den ya gotta do the ol "one two skeedoo-it" if you know watta i mean
then you do like so
then you give 'em the ol applesauce
don't say i never did nothin for y-
WHAT DA
DAMMIT YOUS WAS FOLLOWED!
SHIT ITS THE BIG MAN!
RUN FER IT, HE'S THE MEANIST SONAVA BITCH THIS SIDE OF-
oh, wait. He just wants yous to buy his official cable if yous gonna do all dis? Big Man just wants to get paid? Fella yous got some weird priorities
...........................
*pssst* hey yous, yeah yous
shhhhh, keep it down
i got some new hot info for yas if yer interested...
i like how nintendo's 'no uploading screenshots to your phone in case you make a penis mii or something and we're held liable for that' policy with the new tomodachi life has completely backfired because for the last few days my whole feed has been beautiful crusty photos people have taken of their switches. it's like i'm back in early 2010s gaming youtube it's beautiful