tl;dr - I've lost the drive and the muse to write nicojack fics after watching the post-olympics events unfold, so I think it's an appropriate time to retire this particular pairing in my hrpf writing.
It feels a little self-important to make a whole post about this, but it's largely because I loved writing for this pairing so much, and I have a lot of feelings about this. I've found so much joy and creative freedom in crafting and ideating and reading all the other incredible nicojack fics, and met so many incredible writers and artists and fellow devils/hockey fans because of it. And while I've known from the very start it's hrpf with a heavy heavy emphasis on the f, there was at some point going to be a threshold for what I could accept before it becomes something that no longer amuses, delights, or inspires. It has been disappointing to see all this unfold in increasingly worse ways and to realize once again, as everyone has been saying, that you love a sport that doesn't love you back.
I do want say that if I ever manage to conjure up the drive to write nicojack again, it would be solely to complete the brutal destiny series, because it's one of my favourites and some of my best creative writing I think I've done in years. And I want to give it a real ending, instead of the nebulous TBD. I selfishly have a soft spot for it.
I've enjoyed writing for nicojack since 2023 (it would've been three years of writing this May! I actually can't believe it). There's a joke somewhere about WIP graveyards, but honestly, it does make me really, really sad that there's now a lot of unfinished and nearly-finished stories I don't want to write for anymore. I did think about taking down all my fics. But it's a collection of the kindest and loveliest comments and encouragements I've ever gotten before, and it's something I'd like to hoard and keep for myself. I'm sappy, and I cherish each one so much. That, to me, is the point of all this—fuck the mockery and the misogyny and the spineless lack of morals.
I enjoy hockey and I enjoy the people I meet because of it even more. I still want to watch the sport! I still want to be active in hrpf (heavy heavy emphasis on the f)! I still want to write! And I'm a stubborn bitch they can't get rid of! So I hope you might want to stick around for other potential stories and writing in the future, but if not, I just want to thank you for giving my fics a chance. It was fun. I had fun. And I think we can have fun again.
as always, thank you for reading.
-myl ❤️
