Achilles: Honey!
Patroclus: What?
Achilles: Where is my spear?
Patroclus: What!?
Achilles: WHERE IS MY SPEAR??
Patroclus: I put it away!
Achilles: Where!?
Patroclus: Why do you NEED to know!?
Achilles: I need it!
Patroclus: Nuh uh! Don't you even think about running off doing no daring do! We've been planning this dinner for two months!
Achilles: The world is in danger!
Patroclus: My evening is in danger!!
*explosions in the background as Trojans breach the wall*
Achilles: Tell me where my spear is, man! We're talking about the greater good!
Patroclus: GREATER GOOD?? I'm your boyfriend!! I'm the greatest GOOD you're ever going to get!















