if these wings could fly

at first glance, she'd appear quiet and reserved like a solitary bird, and as fragile as a wing bone. but if you took a moment — if you looked deeper — you would see she was SO much buried light, only waiting for somebody unafraid to get their hands d i r t y. to come along and unearth her.

[breatheinpoetry]

You left her there. She gave you everything, and you took your hint of guilt and left behind a goodbye and a broken girl. And maybe it didn’t hit you at first. Sure, you slept while she stayed up. Your pillows didn’t stain with tears. Your showers didn’t end in sobs. Your stomach didn’t cave in every morning, your heart didn’t ache every breathe. But maybe you run into her months down the line. Maybe you hear of her new love, the news spilling across the floor like a new stain on the carpet she used to tread on. Maybe you meet her in a coffee shop, and she stopped cutting her hair, and it trails down her back like the past she left you behind in. And the heart ache isn’t hers anymore. Her smile reaches her eyes now and her laugh lights up the room. You forgot, didn’t you? You forgot the way she held you the night you couldn’t fall asleep. You forgot the way she covers her mouth when she laughs, the way she cups her hands over mugs to keep her fingers warm, the way her hands were always a little bit cold. You forgot the way it felt to know that despite all the flaws that ran through your veins there was someone there to kiss your forehead and brew you tea. Oh, but you’ll remember. And maybe if you’re lucky, you won’t be holding something fragile when you hear the news. Maybe if you’re lucky your heart will only ache for a fraction as long as hers did. Maybe if you’re lucky, she’ll pick up when you call. But even if she still has all the tenderness for you in the world, her voice is not the same. She doesn’t love you anymore. You lost her. You lost her. And you can’t ever get her back.

~Meriam BHT, Delayed heartache

Dedicated to moonlyaffairs <3

(via breatheinpoetry)

[afterlust]

still trying to find my yellow paint

[althva]

↬ FLETCHER.

        “ I BROUGHT coffee and sweets. ” fletcher nods, tripping over his feet as he rushes over to sit next to althea and spilling a bit of coffee on his pants in the process. he wrinkles his nose and wipes at it with his finger, sighing as he hands her the drinks and reaches for a napkin. “ you look down lately. ” he notes, glancing at her for a moment before busying himself with cleaning up. “ what’s going on? ”

❛ my actual hero. ❜ once she’d seen that he was okay, the blonde bit down on her lip, suppressing the soft laughter wanting to emit at fletcher’s graceful display of clumsiness. ❛ so, are you practicing for an upcoming bambi on ice audition or...? ❜ she mused, words left lingering as she took the coffee being handed to her and tucked one leg comfortably beneath the other. his assessment, though, managed to have caught her off guard, the cautioned cup within her hold drawn to her lips in the absence of words beneath the sudden heat of his gaze. ❛ fletch... ❜ she began, handing him the tide stick from her purse as he continues to clean himself up, ❛  you know you don’t need to worry about me, don’t you? ❜ 

[althva]

↬ ARIELLE.

“ so, i was in a taxi, right? and i went, like, five minutes before i realized that i left my wallet at home. so, when i tell the driver and ask him to take me back to my apartment, he gets super mad and starts ranting as he does a u-turn. it was the dumbest thing. then, he had the fuckin’ audacity to ask to see my tits in exchange for the ‘ hassle ’ .. like, really? maybe that shit flies in new york, but this is los angeles and there’s no fucking way i’m flashing some pervy white guy in his forties just because he had to drive five extra minutes. to be fair, he’d clearly seen the story on TMZ about me and romes flashing on that overpass, but that was for fun and a completely different situation, so he was way out of his depth. ” she took in a deep breath with her eyes closed and her irritation slowly subsided. “ anyways, what have you been up to? ”

althea blinked, nimble fingers stilling slightly in their mundane task of stapling paperwork together. though, she wasn’t particularly interested in making conversation in the middle of a busy work day, she was trying desperately to at least look like she’d grasped some of the actress’s ranting monologue. ❛ oh, you know. making copies, coffee runs, stapling shit...oh, and more copies because what fun would that be if there weren’t such a thing as script revisions, right? ❜ she pondered aloud, her baby blues rolling before she could refocus her gaze on the other female. with an eyebrow quirking, althea slowly gestured the stapler within her grip through air,  ❛ wait, you flashed an overpass? ❜ 

[dawsonscreekdaily]

Top 10 PJ Scenes (as voted by my followers) → #2

[althva]

↬ PIPER.

Early morning shoots meant a very grumpy Piper. She tried her best not to be too awful, but it was difficult when she was only on her first cup of coffee. Not expecting anyone to corner her on her way back from the craft services table, she jumped back when someone aligned themselves in her field of view. “Stop,” she shrieked, clutching her coffee tightly in one hand and a plate of various breakfast pasties in the other, “I could have dropped my croissant.” 

❛ then maybe you should’ve been watching where you we’re going, ❜ althea grumbled in response, thankful for her own quick reflexes as she steadied the tray of coffees still resting safely within her grip. she might’ve been quick to apologize had this not already been her third trip for coffee this morning, but it wasn’t even eight a.m. and she was all too ready to call it a day so that she could go home and climb back into bed for the next week.

[althva]

abramczyks:

AINSLEY nodded, sure to at least attempt to gather her thoughts before she spoke. “uh, yeah. that happens a lot,” she admitted, taking her lower lip between her teeth. “i’m just not – i don’t’ know, i would say i’m not good with words because obviously, i’m fairly good with words. i have a lot of words to say. right… i’m doing it again, aren’t i? i promise, i’ll try to chill out a little.”

althea’s lips twitched slightly with a subtle show of her amusement, more impressed with ainsley’s spewed form of articulation than she was bothered. ❛ just a bit, ❜ she agreed, lifting her cappuccino to her lips. she felt soothed by its warmth, swiping her tongue over the bit of foam that dared cling to her pout.  ❛ i’ve seen you around, ❜ not a question, but a statement, light blue eyes looking thoughtful as she tried to connect the other’s face to any shred of a memory. ❛ you’re a makeup artist, aren’t you? on the broke pack? ❜ 

[abramczyks]

“ WOULD you want to get a coffee? i mean, i know you’re having a coffee right now, i meant, like, at a different time…with me. or, it doesn’t even have to be coffee, it can be any kind of beverage…like a wine, or a beer- not that i want to get you drunk. we could get iced tea. do you like iced tea? would you want to get an iced tea with me?” ainsley looked down at the coffee in her hand, trying to think of how she could recover from the word vomit that just exploded from her mouth. “i’m just gonna go… thanks for listening.” the brunette turned around with a brief wave.

[althva]

❛ do you always talk like that? ❜ the pa queried after watching caramel tousles flick over the other girl’s shoulder as she turned to leave, quick to interrupt her wave goodbye with subtle words drawing her to stay. ❛ y’know...without taking a breath? i was half expecting you to turn blue in the face. ❜  using her foot, she gently pushed at the chair sat across from her, offering a seat to the other.  ❛ if you can relax, you can stay. ❜

[yoursummerdreamz]

[althva]

colinredford:

colin was really starting to hate his lack of ability to get himself out of unwanted situations–really, his shyness did a bang up job of making him look and feel like a fool.  “lunch.  right. i–um, i almost forgot.  guess i should start asking siri to remind me of these things.”  he stammered, giving the petite blond a quick squeeze.  “it was–uh, it was nice learning about your cats.  tell them hi for me.”  he smiled weakly, despite his best efforts, and looked over at the girl who’d come to his aid.  “shall we get goin’?”

❛ it’s a good thing i came looking for you then, ❜ althea concluded without missing much of a beat, though she wanted to laugh aloud at finding out just what sort of conversation the pair we’re having before he’d sought ought her interruption.  ❛ we shall, ❜ she agreed, a saccharine wave sent through the air as she pulled colin safely away before the woman could pull her into the conversation too.  ❛ i think the coast is clear, ❜ she told him, dropping his arm and letting out some of the laughter she’d be containing,  ❛ you’re safe. no more pictures of cats or little old ladies in sight. ❜

[althva]

@rxry — before althea had even reached the door, she’d already tried talking herself into marching away, getting back into her car, and going home at least two times. but try as she might, she knew she that needed to do this; that she needed to thank him. otherwise, all that effort she had put into tracking his address down would have been for nothing and the stubborn blonde wasn’t about to let all that time and energy spent sleuthing and pleading to her superiors go to waste because of some nerves. with a heavy sigh and quick sweep of her sunny locks, she anxiously rapped at the front door. ❛ don’t be home, don’t be home, don’t be home, ❜ she murmured to herself, knuckles growing white as she gripped at the platter of sweets tucked carefully within her other hand.

[inthebeckseat-blog]

“No, that seat’s not taken.”  Vienna murmured, eyes glued to her half finished blended Bellini. It had been quite the day, and maybe her pounding head was half due to an oncoming brain freeze, but at least she was out of the house.  Brown eyes finally catching onto who’d sat next to her, Vienna sat up a little straighter.  “I’m fine, honestly.” She’d never tell, leaving it to be known only to her fellow castmates that she was a terrible liar.

[althva]

❛ if you say so, ❜ althea shrugged, deciding not to push the raven haired girl for any further answers as she took a seat upon the barstool beside vienna — all too glad it wasn’t much of a struggle for her shorter limbs.  ❛ it’s too bad, though. if you had said you were terrible and having a shit day, i might’ve pitied you enough to pay for a few rounds. ❜

[aestheticacadema]

Some sketches i did a while ago

[althva]

↬ DEREK.

Hands shoved deep into his pockets, Derek glanced next to him, the ghost of a smile on his lips.  “You okay?  I mean–you know, divulge as much as you want, or as little.  Y’just seemed a little quiet, that’s all.” He wasn’t always that observant, but depending on the person, Derek was fairly good at picking up how other people felt, doing so without judgement of course. Sometimes, though, the silence kind of freaked him out–and even if now was one of those times, he wasn’t about to be openly rude if the other person actually needed to vent. 

❛ as opposed to...what? every other day of the week? ❜ she queried, her words sounding far more humdrum than they we’re biting. realizing, though, that she’d attempted to read the last line in her book on matisse at least three times already, she shut it, lacing her fingers together and setting them down with a sigh upon the bold type cover.  ❛ i’m fine. is there something you want to talk about? ❜ she tried deflecting, half certain he’d never be able to understand her money woes anyways. 

[althva]

↬ COLIN.

Colin had only ever heard the stories of those people who’d get caught in awkward conversations with strangers and later get bailed out by a familiar face, but because he normally kept to himself, he hadn’t expected it to happen to him.  Boy, was he ever wrong.  It wasn’t until a few moments into his (nearly one sided) conversation with an elderly woman who’d thought it best to unload pictures of her cats onto him, that he’d spotted someone he knew.  “Uh, yeah.  Well, your cats are cute and all but–but, um, my ride’s here.” He faked a smile, casting a hopeful glance toward the familiar face when the woman wasn’t looking.

althea tried her best not to look so confused as her eyes met colin’s. at least, it seemed as if they had, sparing a sly glance over her shoulder in the likes that she’d been sorely mistaken and there was actually someone else he’d been sending the non-verbal plea to for an escape route. ❛ there you are, ❜ she remarked, swooping in just as swiftly as any caped crusader would’ve with as much enthusiasm she could manage musteing up as she brought the male in for what she deemed a friendly hug. ❛ i thought you forgot when you weren’t where you said you’d be. i hate to break up your party, but we should really get going if we want to make our lunch reservations. you know how much dicaprio doesn’t like to be kept waiting. ugh, movies stars, y’know? ❜ she explained, tossing the last bit and a roll of her eyes at the older woman. ❛ but you have a wonderful day, ma’am. ❜ 

[althva]

[imwritingpoems-deactivated20200]

if that one thing hadn’t happened, if that one person hadn’t broken your heart, you would have turned out completely different. you would not be the person that you are right now. everything that has happened to you has affected you, everyone that has happened to you. you let people into your life that have drained you and taken parts of you and you can never have them back, you can never be refilled. sometimes it’s terrifying to think about it, that you can never be that person again. you can never go back and be unaffected by what has happened to you. you have been changed and you must adapt to that change and move on. and sometimes you miss that person that you were, for they were more innocent, more vulnerable, more whole.

July 31st, 2015 (m.o.w)