andrew minyard & neil josten, are they or are they not dating? a saga
they would never ever do a legit press release with a joint statement because once a nightmare to the media always a nightmare to the media
it does become pretty obvious that they’re living together at some point so a reporter tries to get an explicit confirmation of their relationship from neil
reporter: “so you guys are roommates? you must spend a lot of time together. cooking, cleaning…?”
neil, unbothered: “well i mean we do more than just that, but yeah-”
this clip is repeated over and over again all over the internet and most of the comments are exy fans replying with memes like WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN
someone tries to ask kevin of all people about it and the expression of sheer disappointment he makes is enough to send the reporter packing
he later posts a wildly passive aggressive tweet that goes something along the lines of “Was unaware of the fact tabloid journalists are now allowed in exy press events.”
matt retweets with “GET EM KEV”
when renee is asked she just smiles and replies: “they are very close”
“close what?” “they’re just close” “close friends or partners?” “they’re very close :)”
a fan sneaks photos of them shopping in petsmart together and it circulates all over twitter because that means they’re not only roommates, but they’re cat dads
and then the next weekend they’re photographed at a farmer’s market, and after that it’s a restaurant, and then neil (just to fuck around some more) posts a pic of andrew sitting on their balcony during golden hour with no caption
most exy fans are 100% convinced they’re dating, while others are like “oh maybe they’re just buds. best buds. doing best buds things”
allison, scrolling on her phone and reading these takes: “they’re writing about you two like you’re gay people from ye olden days”
(context: historians tend to claim very obviously gay historical figures were just “Really Good Friends”)
this back and forth goes on for a while
and then. the day comes.
andrew and neil’s pro team have made it to the finals of the championship match, and naturally all the players have to sit for a press conference before the big game
both of their publication teams (who REALLY deserve a vacation) warn them that someone’s probably going to try and explicitly bring it up
they get through the whole 60 minutes without anything going wrong until their coach asks if anyone has any questions left
this guy raises his hand and neil almost rolls his eyes because he can just tell from the vibes what’s about to happen
“andrew, i feel like i’ve gotta address the elephant in the room here. it’s been almost two years, and the speculation over the true relationship between you and your teammate neil josten has been dragging on.”
andrew looks disinterested as always, but neil does notice he’s sitting so that he can speak easily into the microphone
reporter: “are your or are you not in a romantic relationship?”
andrew: “can i ask what company you’re from first?”
reporter: “the daily manhattan”
andrew: “so you’re telling me you flew across the country to come here today and ask me if i’m gay?”
the whole room goes dead silent
their coach and the coordinators are silently debating whether they should end it there or give some kind of non-answer while neil is wildly torn between laughing or making a remark that would definitely give wymack a heart attack
he’s about to go with the remark route when andrew, in the flattest voice over, says: “well, i am.”
one of their teammates: “why am i gasping i already knew that”
and then while everyone else in the room is spluttering, andrew sips the rest of his water, casually tosses the plastic bottle into the recycling bin by the door, and adds: “and yes, neil josten and i are in a relationship.”
this moment in particular is especially chaotic because the camera men have absolutely no idea who/where they’re supposed to be focusing on so there’s just all these random close-ups being smashed together and lots of panicked swiveling around
the reporters have exploded and are clamoring over each other to try and get more info but it’s so loud that you can’t understand anyone
neil is kinda smirking at andrew, who is now Over It™ and currently looking for places to eat on his phone without a care in the world
their teammates are split pretty evenly between “wait. wait. did that really just happen? no way. what. wHAT-” and “lol that really just happened”
meanwhile at home the other foxes were watching live and they think this is the funniest thing that’s ever happened in their lives
which is how wymack gets about 10 different calls simultaneously
“WYMACK YOU HAVE TO TURN ON THE TV-” “i already saw–nicky what the hell is so goddamn funny??” “THEY REALLY JUST-” “NICKY THE MORE YOU LAUGH THE MORE YOU ENCOURAGE THEM” “I KNOW”
whereas his call with aaron goes something like: “wymack, you saw.” “yes i saw.” *deep sigh* *deep sigh*
nicky later tweets a clip with: “not sure if this is the office or real life…either way #gayrights”
wymack also gets texted a super blurry photo from matt of dan cry laughing on the couch next to kevin, who was visiting them, but looks like he’s currently regretting every life decision he’s ever made
(i like to think that perhaps sometime later, wymack goes out for drinks with neil and andrew’s coach + publicity teams. just to like, apologize. and probably complain together)
obviously exy stan twitter absolutely loses their shit
the crowd is even crazier than usual at the final championship match, but andrew and neil play as usual and win
afterward their team does a fan event, where neil overhears some 14 year old with a pride pin on their backpack joking to their friends about how “i’m glad they won, because if they didn’t it would’ve been homophobia”
he bursts out laughing and makes that kid’s whole year
