Itโs been a few hours, youโve just been hanging there. Youโve been quiet, too quiet. Usually thereโs music playing, or your foot steps could be heard. But today, youโre quiet. Your little sister, who doesnโt normally come to greet you because you lock yourself away, decides to see what youโre doing. She assumes youโre taking a nap, or doing some homework quietly. She runs up the stairs, eager to see, but she comes to an immediate halt. Youโre not doing your homework, nor taking a nap. Your music isnโt playing and you arenโt walking around. Youโre hanging there, completely still, now just like her. At this moment, her whole world shatters. Everything she has ever known, looked up to, loved, is hanging there by a thread. At this moment, her life has been changed forever. At this moment, she wishes she was hanging with you.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say โFinally, theyโre gone.โ No, they will not say โIโm happy they did that.โ No, they will not say โI never loved them anyways.โ They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you ever could. They will cry, scream, and break down. Theyโll believe itโs all just a dream, praying to wake up. Except, they wonโt feel that for a few seconds, or a few days, not weeks, nor months. They will feel that until the day they die. Everyday will be hell. Theyโll think of you ever second. Theyโll hate themselves for not being able to help or save you. Theyโll wish they could die too. Theyโll want to give up, just to be with you. They wonโt be ever be happy again. They wonโt smile. They wonโt go back to their daily routine. Theyโll die every time they walk past your room, or see a picture of you, or think of a memory with you. Theyโll think, but stay quiet. Theyโll visit your grave, feeling a knife go through their chest every time. And every morning when they wake up, no matter how long itโs been, theyโll wake up to thinking theyโll see you, only to be let down once again. And every night, they will cry themselves to sleep, because even though they refuse to admit it, know youโre gone forever.
Before you decide to take your life, think of your family, burying you. Yes, your own mother and father are planning your funeral. Itโs supposed to be the other way around, but itโs not. Theyโll have to call the cops, sign a death certificate, pick out clothing, buy a tomb stone, a casket, pick out flower arrangements, and more; All for their childโs funeral. The morning of your funeral, everyone who loves you is wearing black. Tears are streaming down their face, while their heart is breaking. Everyone who you thought didnโt need you, or didnโt care, are waiting in line to see you. They arenโt waiting in line at a party, or a graduation, or at a wedding reception. Theyโre waiting to see you, hands folded, lifeless, in a casket.
Before you decide to take your life, think of everyone you will be hurting. Donโt you dare say no one, because absolutely everyone will be affected. Your grandparents, wonโt have a grandchild anymore. Your parents, wonโt have a child anymore. Your brother or sister, wonโt have a sibling anymore. Your pet, wonโt have an owner anymore. That person you sit next to in class, wonโt feel your presence anymore. Your teacher, wonโt have a student anymore. That time your grandparents told you no, will haunt them forever, thinking it is their fault, that you are now dead. That time your parents yelled at you, will haunt them forever, thinking if they didnโt yell at you, you would still be here. That time your sibling said they hated you, will hate themselves, because they believe you would still be alive if they said they loved you instead. Those kids who made you feel bad, will wish they were dead too, because if they just smiled at you instead, you would be here. That teacher that said you didnโt meet her expectations, will feel like a failure, because you would still be here, if she believed in you. Everyone, who has ever been in your presence, will hurt, because if they showed you they cared, you would still be here.
Before you decide to take your life, think. Donโt just think of yourself, think of the consequences for everyone else. No oneโs life will be the same again. That person who God made specially for you, wonโt have you. That happiness that was waiting for you, will never show again. Before you decide to take your life, realize that you may be ending your pain, but youโll be starting a lifetime of everyone elses.
If you are feeling alone, and think that suicide is the only way out:
My ask is open, and Iโm always here. Iโll never judge you. Iโll try to help you.
If you are thinking of taking your life, call:
izzy806
titsay
gummygunk
tangentwithtanner
