if anyone wants to see when they signed up for tumblr, visit the above post. it displays your registration timestamp when you view the post itself, but when you reblog it, it’ll copy that timestamp.
that blog is a little bit of chaotic tumblr magic i built for april fools a long time ago.
I've battled with my dysphoria for what feels like forever, but as someone who lives right around the poverty line, I've only been able to v
Hello, tumblr! I mentioned this in my stream last night with my friend and collaborator @lakemojave, but here is the official tumblr announcement: I've started a fundraiser to pay for GAS that I can't afford on my own.
I...try my best to appear pretty unflappable on this site, because my online persona relies on that. But about two years ago I was harassed by TE/RFs and no matter how much I tried to forget or get over it, there was a comment that a 17 year old made towards my appearance the has probably been the most devastating thing I've ever felt, and ever since that insult I've grown steadily and steadily more disgusted and anxious about my appearance--specifically my hair.
As an AMAB trans person, I'm of course going to experience male-pattern baldness. Even in cisgender men, more than 75% of them experience some form of heightened anxiety and dysphoria due to hair loss or fear of it. I don't know how those numbers change when talking about trans people, but I can't imagine it's not even higher.
In the interest of full transparency at the cost of, frankly, my pride: I have reached the point in my dysphoria where I am growing to be borderline suicidal. I've struggled with suicidal ideation since I was a young teenager, but this is the first time in over a decade that I've reached a level where I am terrified what will happen when it gets worse.
And so with all that said, I've started a fundraiser on PayPal to try and raise money for my gender-affirming care. Y'all might remember me from the Great Soy Sauce Conspiracy of late December of last year, and maybe also how I stopped working on the project due to mental health reasons. I remember how kind all of you were when I was struggling with living newly on my own trying to afford food and things like convection plates, and it's my hope that I could rely on you all to help me again.
With that said, I've made the decision that if I am able to fulfill this fundraiser's cost...I'm going to pick back up The Mysterious Appearance of Miss Appleton and finally finish it once and for all...in video essay format, because that feels most appropriate to me. I think I'm going to be ready for it this time.
If you've read this far, thank you so much. If you need it, though:
TLDR: I need to get myself gender-affirming surgery because i'm getting real close to suicidal over my dysphoria. I've made a fundraiser for it. If the fundraiser is successful, I'm going to finally finish the video essay for The Mysterious Appearance Of Miss Appleton. Thank you for your time and your help.
I've battled with my dysphoria for what feels like forever, but as someone who lives right around the poverty line, I've only been able to v
No more Alice in Wonderland retellings about madness and the brutal imagery of 19th century mental institutions.
More Alice in Wonderland retellings focusing on the theme of dreams. Alice the oneironaut. Alice visiting the dreamworlds of classic literature and history. Alice using dream telepathy to visit the minds of others. I have infinite problems with American McGee’s Alice, but the concept of Alice Otherlands absolutely fucked
“The third installment of the story would find Alice leveraging her super hero-like power to invade the minds of others, hence "Otherlands." 1875 in London is a time filled with a rich array of characters, each a potential vehicle for Alice's new adventures - Jules Verne, Jack the Ripper, Darwin, Queen Victoria and a plethora of French artists.”
Sometimes I think the hatred for fat people embracing their bodies as they are is part of sunk cost fallacy. Because people spend years trying to fit an aesthetic niche, and that can be thousands of dollars and so much time and so much energy on one thing, that when they see a person being unapologetically fat and with no desire to be thin they get irrationally angry because they could have 'just decided to love themself' instead.
But I dont think they understand that this is also work. It may not be physical workouts or big money meal plans or running 2 miles every day kind if work, but its work. Like you dont just wake up one morning and decide to have a different outlook.
Self-hatred can be an addiction, too. Your brain gets in a pattern of it and it becomes a normal part of the routine. And you have to work to break away from it, and you have relapses, and because the world tells you its acceptable, normal, and even entertaining to hate yourself when you're fat- it is not easy.
hey now that it’s disability pride month can you please remember to include people with Down syndrome and other chromosomal defects into your activism. they’re so often left behind. I literally never see anyone spreading Down syndrome awareness that isn’t close family of someone with Down syndrome. They exist and they’re living breathing humans who deserve just as much activism as every other disabled person
theartofmadeline
snowghoul
jbbartram-illu
jacobvanloon
dailybridgerton
romaincrisis
ellievsbear
