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By the Lake || Sirius + Marlene

"No. I mean—yes. To the second one. I just — I dunno. You’re fucking confusing, and hell if I know what you want. You’re harder to read than an invisible book of invisibility and bloody hell — I — you…I just,” she stammered, falling back against the grass with a huff as he pulled away before she sat up, crossing her legs, rubbing her temples.

"I want me and you to…I dunno. You know? Be what we were, I guess? I miss my best mate and my snogging partner and I fucked up," she fell back against the grass again, turning her head to look up at him. "Oh, bloody hell."

"I'm confusing?" Sirius asked incredulously. She was the one running off with Fenwick, then coming back and declaring he'd been the one she (may have) wanted all along, then she was kissing him, then she wasn't, and now she was sprawled out in the gras and vaguely glaring at him. For once, someone was worse at this than he was.

He dropped his hand from his hair and shook his head. "Bloody hell," he agreed. Sirius was quiet for a moment, biting at his lip and gazing at the lake, before he sighed and dropped down beside her on the grass. "I missed it too. I missed you, too." He turned his head to look at her. "I didn't like not... you know. Being us." Snogging, fighting, being absurd, laughing, more snogging. The usual.

By the Lake || Sirius + Marlene

One leg hooked around his waist, one hand fisting in his hair as she gazed up at him, her breath hitching as his eyes flashed, her own narrowing. ”No,” she growled, pulling him closer by his shirt. ”I wouldn’t let you. I want you. To kiss me. Here. Now. I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m not telling you no. Not now,” she growled, leaning up to kiss him again, her skin feeling hot before she pulled away.

"Fuck — do you want me to?” she asked him, letting go his shirt in the sudden wave of sheepishness that swept over her. What if he hadn’t wanted her to kiss him, hadn’t wanted her like this anymore? She was just as bad as he was, acting first then asking questions later.

Sirius felt common sense fly out the window when her leg hooked around his waist, barely listening to her as he gazed down at her. Marlene's hand was fisted in his hair and it felt bloody brilliant, and she was looking up at him with that bloody intoxicating blend of annoyance and want. He kissed her back hungrily, lost in the moment, but as soon as she'd started she was stopping, and he huffed in frustration.

"What?" he asked, shaking the fog out of his head. "Do I want you to force yourself on me?" He frowned, realising how that sounded. "Or kiss me? Bloody fuck, Marlene." He sat back and ran his hand through the hair she'd toussled, feeling uncharacteristically out of his depth suddenly.

#alwayssirius #sirius black #headcanon #black family #toujours pur

Spring 1975. Sirius is caught sneaking off into the gardens during a family party - sans dress robes, of course.

By the Lake || Sirius + Marlene

"Maybe because you ruddy well forced yourself on me when I told you no!" she growled. "I’m nothing if not loyal, Sirius — you of all people should damn well know it, and when I tell you to fuck off, you ought to know I mean it!” She pushed forward, until she was mere millimeters from his face, her breathing ragged, trying very, very hard not to cry. Here he was, doing the same damn thing he always did, pissing her off and making her want to snog him in equal measure, egging her on to frustration and anger. She wanted to slap him but she didn’t.

"Just. Shut. Up," With an exasperated huff, she gripped him by his tie and pulled him roughly to her, her lips crashing against his so that he would stop fucking talking, stop trying to make her explain, stop making her say things that were hard for her to say, just stop. It was kiss or slap, and right now, she didn’t want to row. She’d come to reconcile, not fight, and the way he was testing her…well, it wouldn’t have taken much for her to repeat that night in the greenhouse. She was too reckless for her own good, and he as well…

#:para #para: emmeline #by the lake

Sirius' eyes flashed when she insisted he'd forced himself on her, and while he felt sick to his stomach at the idea that he might've really pushed her too far (he'd known he deserved the knee to the bollocks), he was incensed that she was pushing him again now, that she was saying all of this.

"Maybe you wanted-" he began, but then she was dragging him by his tie and she was kissing him, and fuck but he'd missed this so much. He gave a growl of his own, feeling a hot wave of arousal with the way she was pulling at his tie, her mouth wonderfully hot and familiar against his own, but the irony of their kiss with their conversation wasn't lost on him. He pushed against her, pushing her down against the grass; he knew anyone could see them, but he didn't care. This was the problem with them. So bloody, stupidly reckless.

"D'you think I'm forcing myself on you now?" he asked, ignoring the fact that she'd been the one to initiate the kiss. But she'd (pretty much) but the one to initiate things in the greenhouse, and he suddenly didn't trust her to want this, once it started. Again. "Do you want me to?"

Patronus || Sirius + Emmeline

Emmeline hummed in agreement. “He is indeed. Did you ever think he’d be your patronus though?” She asked him honestly with her father in mind. His own was of a dolphin which had surprised her. She never would’ve chosen such a docile creature for her father and to this day she still thought a fox would’ve been more suitable.

All she could do was nod to everything Sirius was saying. She had heard it all before, it was like a broken record player. When he asked the needed question she stayed silent for a while contemplating her thoughts. “Perhaps…last Christmas with all of us at James’ place?” She said hesitantly, it was by far one of the best Christmases she’d ever had. The whole lot of them tightly squished around the Potter’s dining table with the muggle decorations made it all so merry and festive. But she doubted it was enough for herself to cast a corporeal.

She took out her wand and began to circulate her wand, mimicking Sirius’ earlier actions. Thoughts of the party began to flood her mind as she revisited all the sense that it had evoked. The smell of the turkey, the feel of the large christmas crown on her small head, the sound of them all laughing and talking. However, all that happened was a large blue cone of light shining from her wand and around the room. Abruptly, she ceased the spell, knowing it would not be able to transform into what she wanted it to and sighed in slight frustration. “Guess that didn’t work then.”

#c: emmeleine #l: room of requirement #patronus

"I had a bit of an inkling," Sirius replied with a grin. After Padfoot, it'd been a logical next step, although it hadn't stopped the sensation of pure joy he'd felt finally seeing it come to fruition.

He nodded back, thinking the memory might be strong enough. Christmas had been bloody wonderful, the best holiday he'd ever had, and he thought it was a good choice. He held his breath when Emmeline successfully cast the non-corporeal Patronus, and he was about to whoop in encouragment when she abruptly stopped the spell.

"No, no," he said, hurrying over to her. "You have to keep trying, dig into what makes the memory. Dig into the roots of it, pull it out, that's what you need." He shook his head, gesturing at her wand. "Try it again."

By the Lake || Sirius + Marlene

"Yeah, a stupid crush," she growled, pushing herself up so she was inches from his face. "Then, I dunno; I kept thinking about you and wanting it to be you who was kissing me and I just couldn’t do it anymore. I started avoiding you. Both of you. Bloody hell, Sirius —” she broke off, her cheeks blazing. Because in truth, she’d wanted Sirius more; kept imagining it was him holding her, kept whispering his name when they’d kiss. Kept going to bed at night thinking she could just sneak off and see him. It wasn’t fair, to herself or Benjy.

Marlene coughed and looked away, still close to him, her gaze now on the lake. The answer to his question being a resounding yes, but she was unwilling to admit that. Especially since she’d wanted him more. ”HardbecauseIwantedyou,” she mumbled, the words barely audible as she pulled away. Why was he so goddamn addicting? Why couldn’t she stop thinking about him, about what they’d been (whatever that really was)? Damn him.

Sirius didn't move away when Marlene pushed herself up towards him, their faces so close he could feel her breath on his lips. He'd been going mad without her nearby, had caught himself even wishing they were able to have a row, for fuck's sake, if it meant they were interacting. He knew exactly what he wanted, he was hearing exactly what he wanted, but if Sirius was brilliant at things like transfiguring himself into a bloody dog, he was a royal imbecile when it came to anything that made him feel. Even with the way she had growled at him, looking at him with that combination of annoyance and anger and arousal that was so Marlene. Or maybe because of it.

He frowned when she pulled away, letting out a ragged breath. "Last time I saw you, you kneed me in the bollocks and made a scene about how fucking wonderful Fenwick was." The words were just coming out, his own mixture of anger and annoyance and wanting, if he was honest with himself, although he rarely let that happen.

Patronus || Sirius + Emmeline

"Ever Mr Modest I see. My non-corporeal’s pretty average I suppose, it does the job though." She shrugged and realised she was in the exact same position as Sirius just described. It wasn’t that Emmeline was never extremely happy, it was just that she didn’t have anything she could think of as the best moment of her life. Her upbringing wasn’t like Sirius’ which made anything good seem excellent. So, with it being all relative, there was no memory that stood out as the memory to bring out her patronus.

Emmeline gazed in wonder at the large hound running around the room. There was something oddly familiar about it, but she couldn’t quite figure out how. Perhaps it was just the fact that it was Sirius’ patronus which triggered that feeling. It just made so much sense that Sirius’ spirit animal was a large black (pardon the pun) hound. There wasn’t anything that could be more appropriate for him.

She followed the animal enthusiastically with her eyes, as if it were a tray of pastries and she was five again. She resisted running her hand through the silvery hound’s fur scared it’ll disintegrate. It was stunning and seeing it caused her to become even more eager to produce one herself. As it disappeared, her attention returned to the Sirius and she grinned brightly at him. “It’s beautiful!” She said in awe with her mind racing through her memories for something. Surely she could conjure up something? She usually relied on an old one of when she and her muggle best friend, Willy, used to play by the fields near their house for her non-corporeal. But, it was becoming clearer and clearer to Emmeline that it wasn’t strong enough for her to cast her spirit animal. She needed something new to use.

#emmeline #l: room of requirement #patronus

"Isn't he bloody brilliant?" Sirius asked proudly. Hell, if she could only see Padfoot in all his glory... but for Remus' sake, he'd never let that happen.

After the patronus had properly disappeared, he slid his wand back into his pocket and turned to face Emmeline. "It's the memory - it's all about the memory. Everything comes from it, all the strength, all the casting ability. It takes a lot out of me still, but I couldn't get the corporeal version at all until I had it. You have to really dig into it with everything."

It would be harder, of course, if she didn't have one particularly strong memory, but given how much happier Emmeline's homelife had been, he really thought there was something in her memories she could use. That, or they'd need to create a new memory. "Do you have any idea what memory would be strong enough?"

a-fairfury

Alecto’s head snapped up at the voice, the sound intruding her thoughts and her work, or at least that’s what she was going to go with. Despite the fact she was not on the same page as her brother when it came to academic excellence, the dark haired girl would never admit to struggling, at least not to some one like Sirius Black, the fallen star if the family. She didn’t look up, simply letting her head fall in her hands for a moment.

"If I were, how is that any concern of yours?" Alecto’s tone wasn’t aggressive, but tired. It was a valid question in her mind. The Gryffindor had no reason to be interested in what she did as far as she was concerned.

"Not that it troubles me all that much, but death by studying is a terrible way to go." And, given the way she was currently sitting, head in her hands, a mountain of books around her, it seemed a likely possibility. "Besides, you're making all sorts of noises back here. Someone is liable to think you're dying back here." He eyed the books, trying to see if anything looked suspicious. Hell, Black, his mind insisted, take it easy.

#c: alecto #l: library

By the Lake || Sirius + Marlene

"Miserable. Well, and single. Look; yeah, I fancied him," she growled, turning to look at him with a mix of exasperation and exhaustion. "A lot, and I was head over heels for him. But after a few weeks, I couldn’t do it anymore. You two always fighting, me not being able to be with you like…like we were. I missed you, you twat. And I may have made the wrong choice when I chose him."

She hated doing that, admitting she was wrong, but she was sick of this nothingness between them, of the rows they always had, of, well, not being able to laugh and be with him like she once had. ”Maybe I wasn’t so shit at avoiding you, but doesn’t mean it was easy. I’d see you bloody everywhere; d’you know how hard that was?” Brown eyes met his grey, and she sighed, looking away first. ”And I’m sorry. Okay? I should’ve never gone to him. You — oh, Merlin, this is painful — were right.”

#:para #paara: marlene #by the lake

Sirius pushed himself up off his elbows, sitting up to face her. "Head over heels for him," he repeated, frowning. He prided himself on not getting invested in relationship matters, but right now the conversation was... unnerving him, maybe. He really couldn't define it, but it was niggling at him. Her rejection had hurt more than he'd been expecting (and more than he'd been willing to admit, even to himself) and while everything she was saying was exactly what he'd wanted her to say that night in the greenhouse, he was still... well, whatever this was.

"Hard because you wanted us both?" He wanted to ask if she wanted him more - for fuck's sake she'd just said he was right - but the words were stuck on his tongue. He should be gloating right now, teasing her, (pulling her into his lap, his mind added unhelpfully) but he felt uncharacteristically still, sitting there with his hands still in the grass, gaze wavering between Marlene and the lake.

Patronus || Sirius + Emmeline

Emmeline face screwed up at the thought of a mass of maggots devouring someone and shivered. “That would be all kinds of terrifying, Black.”

"I’ll warn you now, it’s going to take a lot of time." She said in a matter of fact tone. Her jaw nearly dropped when he told her smugly of his abilities and truth be told, she was rather jealous. She had always viewed herself as on par with Sirius in terms of ability. They often were top of the class together and if it wasn’t one, it’d be the other. "How? I don’t mean to be rude Sirius, but honestly how?" Now she really wanted to learn how to perform a non corporeal just to catch up with his talent. She bit her lower lip curiously, "What’s your patronus then?" She always imagined hers would be some kind of dog or perhaps a panda and she really couldn’t wait to find out whether she’d be right or wrong. For Sirius, she always pegged him to be a dog, he was just like a puppy once you really got to know him.

#emmeline #l: room of requirement #patronus

"Practise makes perfect," he said, meaning it. "Literally hours and hours and bloody hours of practise." He slid his wand out of his pocket, appreciating the feel of it in his hand, the pull it always gave him when he was excited about performing magic.

"I could only cast a non-corporeal one for the longest time," he admitted. "It was a good one, if I do say so myself, but I needed something stronger to really make it take shape." He wasn't going to explain what that had been, or how he hadn't had a memory strong enough to perform it until now, but he knew she'd likely figure at least some of it out.

He grinned smugly at her, almost bursting with excitement to finally show her. Only the Marauders had seen his patronus, and it really was all sorts of bloody wonderful to show Emmeline now. "See for yourself." He closed his eyes and focused with every fibre of his being on the memory: the front door of Grimmauld Place closing forever behind him, the warm sunshine of London, apparating to the Potters', all of his fear and anger and sadness being enveloped by the people he considered his real family, knowing he had a new home, a home that really felt like home, knowing he was wanted.

He began drawing circles in the air with his wand, strengthening the spell, pouring everything he had into it. It was, he'd found, more difficult than the Animagus transformation (lack of good memories aside) - that felt more like a natural extension of himself. While a form of Padfoot came out of the Patronus, it took more out of him still. But it worked. A brilliant burst of light erupted from the tip of his wand and the enormous dog came rushing out, galloping around the room before disappearing in streaks of bright silver.

By the Lake || Sirius + Marlene

She shot him a look — one that clearly said she was not amused — before she leant back on her elbows and looked out at the lake. The Giant Squid was faffing about, lazily poking his tentacles through the surface of the water ever so often, and Marlene found it rather peaceful. Far more peaceful than her inner thoughts.

"Don’t start," she chastised him. "But you’d like that wouldn’t you? Have another row with him? Well, don’t worry about defending my honour or whatever the hell the excuse you use is for getting into fights with him anymore; we’re over." She was surprised at the lack of bitterness in her tone; in truth, it was a bit of a relief that they were over. Now she could go back to what she was used to — Sirius Black and their non-relationship. That is, if it weren’t beyond repair. "I’m just pretty shite at staying away from you, I s’pose. I was miserable without you."

Sirius frowned, opening his mouth to protest. He would like the fight, and he knew she knew it, but her next comment stopped him in surprise. "You're what?" Marlene had been so damn adamant about Fenwick (at his own expense, his mind was quick to point out) and now it was over? He resisted the urge to roll his eyes - this was why relationships were a waste of time. You put so much into it, and where did it get you?

"You haven't been all that shite at avoiding me," he pointed out. He was torn between a sudden rush of surprise, anger, and... something he couldn't define. A hint of smugness, but if truth be told, his pride had taken a hit at her rejection, and he wasn't sure if Fenwick had ended things and she'd come back to him because of it, or if she'd really been the one to break it off. "I figured you were all head over heels for him. You made that very clear." He looked at her again - really looked at her - unwilling to back down. Not again.

By the Lake || Sirius + Marlene

It seemed as though wandering the castle had become Marlene’s new norm, especially in the wake of her breakup with Benjy. She was never one to be big into avoidance but she found it harder and harder to spend time in the Common Room, especially when she was denying herself both Benjy and Sirius, and especially since it was hard to get away from two blokes she happened to pretty much live with. Her wanderings had taken her to the lake, a frequent haunting for her and Sirius even before their distancing from each other.

That had been the cause of it — Marlene was not a creature capable of denying herself anything, especially when it came to someone so addicting as Sirius Black. Benjy didn’t care for the other lad and the pair had had their fair share of rows, before Marlene had been the one to call it off. But she still hadn’t spoken to Sirius; she could only imagine the gloating look on his face or some other prickish behaviors that he was bound to exhibit once she told him. She had half-hoped to not find him (while the other half of her had; it’d been too long since they’d been together and she missed him far more than she could’ve imagined). But there he was, lounging in the grass. Louder than she had intended, she slipped up beside him and settled in the grass, the blades tickling the bare flesh of her legs where her skirt didn’t meet her socks. "Hey, Black," she sighed, cocking her head to look at him. "Long time, no see."

It’d been… well, awhile (felt like bloody months) since he’d spent any time with Marlene, what with her shacking up with Fenwick, and it was a surprise to hear her voice. He didn’t like that it’d become one. “That’s one way to put it,” he said mildly, quirking a brow. He wanted to make a snide comment about Fenwick, or about her not being allowed to be down here, or about his own superiority, but he knew that would be stupid. So he did it anyway.

“Fenwick isn’t going to come roaring down from the castle, is he?” He half wished he would – another fight would be satisfying. He watched her closely for a moment before letting his gaze drop to her bare legs and then back to the lake, frowning slightly. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. He was used to talking and laughing and fighting with her, not this extended silence. He knew she’d been avoiding him, even making herself scarce in the common room, and it drove him mad.

#:veniensstarter #c: sirius #closed #by the lake

By the Lake || Sirius + Marlene

The afternoon had been unseasonably warm, and it taken approximately zero-percent cajoling to get Sirius down by the lake for a spot of pickup quidditch and then an hour or so of faffing about. He'd been reluctant to go back inside with the others, and after forcing James to take his broom back and promising he'd join up with them for dinner, he found himself alone in the fresh air, enjoying the twilight. Remus would call him a regular poet if he kept this up.

With a sigh he crossed one leg over the other, resting on his elbows in the warm grass. He knew the weather was liable to change any day, and while he enjoyed the cold and snow (especially as Padfoot) he wanted to squeeze out as much of autumn as he possibly could.

Patronus || Sirius + Emmeline

Emmeline chuckled at the eagerness and excitement on Sirius’ face. It was like he was some excited puppy who had a treat dangled in front of him. “Yeah, my dad taught me bits and bobs.” She was surprised to say the least that Sirius would be able to cast a patronus. He was talented, she’d give him that, but the spell was known to be one of the most difficult to perform. She only had been able to do it because her father had basically trained her everyday for the whole of summer. It had begun to be a pain by the end of it, but hell it felt great when she saw the shimmering blue light leave her wand. “I just can’t imagine how we’ll be able to do something so great. I mean, we’re good at magic but do you really believe we can cast one now? What if it turns out we’re absolutely evil and get devoured by maggots?”

#emmeline #patronus #l: room of requirement #perfect gif

"I've always wanted to see that happen to someone." He looked a bit starry-eyed at the possibility. Maybe he could somehow trick his mother into trying to cast it.

Mentally shaking himself, he nodded. "Course. It'll take time, and it's bloody difficult, but if you've got enough determination I think you can do it." Sirius knew well and good that few witches or wizards would ever be capable of mastering such a spell (much like with the Animagus transformation) but he knew those that were capable could, if they really tried, be successful. Like with more basic spellwork for the less... well, talented... trying really was half the proverbial battle.

"Besides," he added smugly, "I can already do it." He wanted Emmeline to know - he wanted those he trusted most to know, and for even more than bragging rights. He knew it would be a bloody important weapon in their arsenals when the time came, and why wait to learn it until the very moment you needed it - and couldnt cast it? He just wouldn't go 'round telling all he Slytherins just yet.

Patronus || Sirius + Emmeline

It had taken Emmeline over twenty minutes even with Sirius’ instructions to find the Room of Requirement. She had wondered into several empty classrooms before finding Sirius within what looked like a small hall with a roaring fireplace. He had mentioned something briefly earlier about practising casting a patronus, something she was eager to learn.

Ever since the first signs of war began to sneak into the headlines, Emmeline’s father had taken it upon him to advance his daughter’s knowledge of the Defence Against the Dark Arts. They had managed to master the non corporeal version of the spell just before her return to Hogwarts this year. It didn’t take her much to conjure a happy thought, she had always had the luxury of living within a peaceful and loving family. All it took was her memory of finally recieving her Hogwarts acceptance letter to cast it. However, she never quite fully managed to perfect the corporeal version and nor had she had the time to practise.

She peered into the room and smiled as she finally saw Sirius in the room. “You’d think even with those clear cut instructions this room would be easier to find.” She said rolling her sleeves up. It was going to be a long lesson from her fellow lion if they were to get her to release her patronus. “So, what have you got for me then?”

#emmeline #patronus #l: room of requirement

"It has a tendency to... disguise itself," Sirius agreed with a grin. The Room of Requirement was one of the (it not the) best find they'd managed in the castle. The amount of magic coursing through its walls knocked him absolutely spellbound - no pun intended.

He clapped his hands together in excitement, his face lighting up. "Patronus. If there's anyone that can do it, it's you. I've been thinking about it since we talked, and I know it's going to be brilliant." It would be hard work, and it would take time, but he really didn't think she wouldn't be able to cast it. "You said you've managed the non-corporeal version, yeah? That's half the battle right there."

stagspirited

❝ Maybe it’s the only thing I have to complain about because it’s the only damn thing I can control, did you ever think about that? ❞ The sentence came out a bit faster and more admitting than he’d liked, but it came all the same. Regulus’ voice dropped also and he leaned in so slightly. ❝ I do think for myself. They need someone to take care of them.. I’m staying there to take care of them. That IS what is right.. and to the rest? They want me. They became a family once you decided we weren’t worth it. Once you left them and you left me.. Somebody wants me. I’m a part of something now. You gave up your right to care.. so I don’t know why you do now. ❞