$LAYYYTER
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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@alysiius
🧣⋆. 𐙚 ˚ snoopy + winter ◞
Cold take but all languages are beautiful actually. Every single one. Every single human language on earth is a collection of stories interwoven into the very fabric of the words that are spoken.
“Oh but this language sounds scary-“ have you heard a child speak it while pointing at a butterfly?
“Oh but this language sounds silly-“ have you heard someone’s grandma recite a recipe with such practiced ease it comes off as poetry?
“Oh but this language is really weird-“ and yours isn’t? Everyone’s language is weird, dumbass, it came free with your fucking humanity.
Every tongue that is spoken is a work of art. Every language a unique window into the world.
Isn’t it wonderful?
You have bewitched me body and soul. And I love…I love…I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.
I know I'm not the first person to observe this, but banishment is a hell of a funny punishment. I now sentence you to fuck off. I don't care where, just get out of my sight. Go on. Git.
Dedicated to my cat, who is very vocal about my bed time.
PATREON
incredible things happening on reddit right now
also shoutout to my really tired old white guy gynecologist who when i said "i want a hysterectomy" did not push back at all and instead sighed, and without looking up at me from his tablet went "We'll have to do a bunch of stuff for insurance because it's a scam and otherwise they won't approve it" and then after laying out the plan walked me out and i dont know if we made eye contact once after shaking hands, which is exactly the kind of medical care i want in this day and age.
I need a polite and effective way to say "hey your heart is truly in the right place and your anger is often righteous but I think sometimes you’re getting recreationally mad about things that are frankly not worth the amount of energy you’re spending on them, and every time you do this you're driving yourself slightly more insane with nothing to show for it," and then I need a way to broadcast that message through a loudspeaker to roughly 30,000 people at once, and THEN I need a time machine to send that message to my past self lol. and maybe a second time machine in case past me tries to be clever and sabotage the version of me who comes through the first time machine
The stereotype of the nerd girl taking her glasses off and suddenly she's beautiful, but in reverse. A cold tough mean office lady who glares at everyone until she gets glasses and suddenly becomes sweet, approachable and friendly since she no longer has a constant headache over not being able to fucking see, doesn't need to squint at everything, and actually remembers individual people by name now that she can tell them apart at all.
babe wake up ao3 came up with the only funny april fools joke in the history of the world
crazy how quickly dust accumulates. i should be allowed to put my trinkets on a shelf and not touch them and they remain in perfect condition forever. dont even get me STARTED on the inside of a computer. why do i have to brush your teeth. youre technology.
idk if I've told this story on here before but one time I was sitting at my desk at work and a random dog I'd never seen before strolled into my office and curled up at my feet. and I was like oh you are adorable but what the fuck?
then a woman knocked on the door and said "oh I'm so sorry he's a therapy dog he's trained to seek out people in severe distress"
and I was like right okay, just getting my whole life drive-by roasted by a dog then