Sonríe, Buenos dias @amantenocturna69 - Tumblr Blog

yorgen-sh

The first 40 years of childhood are the most difficult for men

doggosource

cool2bme

😂😂😂

frontmansdefender

big fan of this genre of signs

everythingfox

cloudyengineer

Bottom shelf pussies for sale.

ruinedchildhood

I need this sharpener……

#funny

pokemon-cards-hourly

evasion-des-sens

hiiragi7

Is Final Fusion Really Final?

My experiences with splitting again after final fusion and some notes on one of the most controversial debates about final fusion.

-

Hi - My name is Duckie.

I'm a new split. The first "proper" split in my system since 10/12/2023.

I split 2/16/2025, after months of chronic stress and trauma and reaching a safe place to finally just collapse and fall apart about it. We also split another new part, Retro, 2/22/2025.

So, what does this mean for my system? Does this mean we've "failed" final fusion, or that final fusion is not viable as a recovery path?

Well, no. At least, I don't believe so.

Let's talk about it.

A misconception that I see a lot is that final fusion is essentially a "cure" for DID - it isn't.

Final fusion is a state, an experience, rather than an ending or a finish line. In fact, recovery work extends far past when final fusion happens, and for those of us receiving clinical treatment, it is strongly recommended that treatment continue beyond final fusion, with some recommendations even suggesting a year or more of continued treatment and stabilization.

Recovery isn't linear, and this still applies after final fusion.

Final fusion coming apart is not only something which happens, but is something that is expected to happen. Many people will even go through several final fusions.

Does this mean that final fusion isn't really, well, "final"?

In some sense, absolutely. In fact, a more appropriate term would probably be "full fusion", rather than "final". I use "final fusion" mostly out of habit, and because it is the most recognized term for this experience.

Maintaining final fusion is a practice, and even beyond that, there are times where splitting is necessary - not because of a failure in final fusion, but because final fusion is not what we need in that moment. At times, splitting helps us more than final fusion.

Splitting is a tool, a coping method, one that is often very good at what it does.

In my case, my DID brain is just doing what DID brains do: Dissociating as a response to chronic stress and trauma. I experienced stress and trauma beyond what I could reasonably cope with, and so my brain is relying on its oldest, most reliable methods of survival. This is a good thing - This is exactly what it is meant to do in this situation. Dissociation and amnesia allows me to experience life in smaller pieces while I rest, recover, and eventually process.

Additionally, dissociation and amnesia makes it more possible for me to actually hold myself to resting - I am extremely prone to pushing far past my limits and burning out and crashing, and it is harder to do this when I am dissociated and cannot think too hard about many things and cannot remember the things I wanted to do anyway. And, well, that's exactly what I need right now - I am lucky to be in a place where I can just let others help me out while I recover for a while.

That being said, although the dissociation and amnesia certainly serves me and protects me when I need it, it is not by any means all smooth sailing - It is, simultaneously, very frustrating to be dissociated all of the time again, as well as other symptoms such as mood swings, fatigue, increased anxiety, confusion, and so on. I have also gotten deeply comfortable with the constant background chatter and support of all of my parts, and not having that is isolating and disturbs me. My DID symptoms have always been on the "severe" end, so having an increase in these again has been very hard on me.

Both of these truths - that dissociation is useful as well as difficult - can coexist at the same time.

What my DID brain is doing is a reasonable response to unreasonable circumstances; Rather opposite from a failure, I believe that both final fusion and splitting are completely normal functions of my DID brain which operate in different contexts.

I have, at times (and especially lately), caught myself being incredibly perfectionistic about my recovery and my fusion, and I do think that a big part of that comes from this expectation that final fusion is final, an end goal, a cure - and, oppositely, that splitting is bad, unhealthy, or a sign of failure. How much less pressure would it be, and how many more conversations could we open up, if we were to think that final fusion is simply just another way of being DID, a system structure like any other, and that splitting is simply something many systems do? If final fusion wasn't treated as any "better" or "worse" than, say, being polyfragmented, but just a different sort of systemhood? If splitting was just as valued as fusion?

Personally, I think that it would help a lot, and I believe that a perspective shift like this would help us to imagine even more ways to live as DID and futures with DID.

inseparabiles

This is the first time I hear someone who's been through full fusion talk about the comfort of hearing all the parts chatter, if I understood it correctly, as a part of the fused state. I'm a bit confused about that - is that how you meant it? Did you still experience distinct part thoughts even in that fused state? I've only ever hear that opposite, systems who fuse wanting to have a uniform/harmonious experience with their thoughts, where they aren't separate as different "lines" of thinking, and sometimes then missing that experience after fusion too.

As opposed to not hearing it when split, though your description of high barrier dissociation explains that enough that I believe I understand it. For us, part chatter is an everyday constant outside of fusion, and "goes away" with fusion in the sense that a fused part stops being present individually in conversation, and their thought processes are simply adopted into the part which has been reinforced or become as a result of the fusion. Their identity is "melted" together, and no longer has a distinct self-drive.

hiiragi7

Yes, that's correct - I hear all of the parts of myself chatter in the background basically all day every day when fully fused, there is tons of internal commentary always going on. All of us are simultaneously present when fused, and different parts of myself have different opinions or feelings even when fused - I've heard this is something that is somewhat typical even outside of multiplicity, though I also understand that non-multiples don't typically personify their parts to the extent that myself and many multiples do.

It's really interesting to me hearing your experience, thank you for sharing it. I had a rather opposite experience from what you describe - prior to full fusion, my parts only really talked to each other if we specifically went out of our way to or if my parts happened to be co-fronting together. Sometimes we could hear other parts talking in the innerworld if they were nearby, but for the most part it was just whatever part was fronting that day and whatever thoughts and feelings they had about things. My parts were often never on the same page as each other and this caused a lot of conflict, especially because we all had very differing opinions about just about everything and often would only find out about decisions that had been made upon fronting.

We had very high dissociative barriers, including very frequent blackout amnesia between switches (sometimes several times a day, to the point where it often felt like a rather mundane fact of life - it was more unusual if we didn't have blackout amnesia), so learning to leave physical notes for each other was a big skill we had to learn because, especially for the first couple years, we didn't particularly talk to each other and didn't enjoy talking to each other, and even if we wanted to talk to each other we often were unable to anyway. When we did, communicating internally often just lead to further fights and conflict, at least for a while. It got better over the years as we did more parts work, but it was definitely a rough learning curve.

Also, my system had always been what some folks refer to as "polyconscious", in that we all had separate trains of thought and we didn't really share thoughts, so we never really had any idea what each other was thinking.

All this to say, the constant chatter is more or less a result of vastly improved teamwork, communication, and fluidity and honestly feels a lot more harmonious to me than only having a singular voice in my head. It's what feels right and how I function best, even if at times it can get a little chaotic when all my parts have something to say. I also can be sure that I'm not leaving any part of myself out because all my parts are certainly very vocal. At the same time, when fully fused, we are all still one "me".

I hope this helps answer some things and provide a bit of extra context about my system.