Salty

She/Her | Stiles Stilinski, the twink that you are

[salty-fryingpan]

The Fox And The Hound

T | 1.6k | 1/1

Wolf Derek, Fox Stiles, actual animals

Scott just got hired to be an exotic animals vet at the zoo and could not be more thrilled. And then, even better, a pretty girl comes along to show him around, and he's more than happy to zone out and stare at her face until he comes to the Grey Wolf enclosure where he finds a fox.

[paper-lilypie]

i dunno i think they like each other

[morgan-drawz]

And they were crew mates ;)

[jasminteart]

Just two bros talking about science istg

[salty-fryingpan]

Sterek, I love ya, but Zutara is consuming my every waking thought.

[salty-fryingpan]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 🎊💖🎉💕🎀✨️💫🎁 wish you and your loved ones all the best 💞

THANK YOU! 💖💜

[salty-fryingpan]

Well...

[homemadesterekpie]

the shit Omega Stiles wears when presented as a war prize to Alpha war lord Derek Hale

[hedwig221b]

omg stiles baby trapping Derek would be so good!

Salivating thinking about it!

[salty-fryingpan]

Did somebody say Sterek Babytrapping?

[minalover]

— Please, let him be happy ( j.p.) (insp)

[salty-fryingpan]

Going nonverbal

(Talking only through memes)

[daisybeats]

So funny story.

I work for a financial institution and have a pretty senior position, but I still have to do a lot of 'training'

Every quarter we have to do 'IT training' that's basically 'dont open phishing emails, don't give out personal information of our clients' and 'everything you do can be tracked, including internet usage and we can read your emails and teams whenever we want.'

Have at it.

I've worked there seven years and they've never once said anything about me reading the news, AO3, Google docs, anything. So I figure 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm fine. They block all social media, but never blocked AO3.

Cut to today.

There are exactly two people in the company I like.

I'm outside decompressing with said two people as we do for 15 minutes at the end of everyday before we go home to our families. Kinda like wiping away the ick of the day.

IT guy: so what's ao3?

Me: what?! Why would you ask me that?

IT: because outside of sites related to your job, that's your most visited website

Me: you guys actually track that?!

IT: yeah we just don't give a shit. Unless you're being audited or investigated we don't give two fucks. So what's ao3?

My other friend is laughing her ass off.

Friend: OH MY GOD ISN'T THAT WHERE YOU READ YOUR WEREWOLF PORN?!

IT: enough said. Hope it's good at least.

Y'all my emo ass, skinny jeans and DC wearing IT guy knows I read/write werewolf porn on the clock and basically said godspeed.

[daisybeats]

!!!!! update!!!!

we have a security audit in 2 weeks and he said he scrubbed my ao3 life from my work PC but I'm free to continue after said audit.

Hes the fucking realest

[saltwaterscully]

what you must understand is that i have five incredible fan fictions in the works. and you might never see any of them

[salty-fryingpan]

Creature!Stiles × Psycho!Derek

But in like a

Way

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

Iroh: so Toph, what are your goals in life?

Toph: I’ve been banned from every major city’s transportation system except Omashu

Toph: I don’t know what their limit is but I will fucking find it 

[probsjosh]

King Boomie, having exactly zero limits:

[theotheristhedoctor]

Unstoppable object meets immovable force

[gaangarang]

[Toph eventually slips up and is captured by the city guard force. Instead of being imprisoned or exiled, Toph finds herself being given audience with the King of Omashu.]

Bumi: Well, well, well. It seems I have finally met the troublemaker who has been causing such chaos with my rail systems.

Toph:…

Bumi: I must say, I am thoroughly impressed with your earthbending abilities. You remind me of myself when I was a lad.

Toph: Get to the point.

Bumi: I see great potential in you, Toph Beifong. I want you inherit my title once I am no longer fit to rule.

Toph: Wait what the fuck

[out-there-on-the-maroon]

Why wasn’t this Toph’s future instead of becoming a freaking cop. This would have made so much more sense. 

[gallusrostromegalus]

My favorite part of this is “when I am no longer fit to rule” because

1. Implying Bumi was fit to rule at any point

1.1 except maybe in the sense that he was completely shredded

2. That he has no plans to die, (nor would death necessarily make him unfit to rule), but that he apparently intends to like. Tuck his arms and legs into himself and just roll off into the sunset.

3. Given that the Earth Kingdom has an actual ruling family that causes some drama in LoK, Toph continuing to cause monarchy confusion is both 100% in character and fucking hilarious.

[definitelynotaminion]

Toph takes over as King Bumi the second and everyone is like “no that’s not how inheriting works” and Bumi is like “No no she’s right, I did say “inherit my title!”

[aromantic-angel]

When toph is no longer fit to rule, she instills bumi (Aang’s son) as her heir and he is known as bumi 3.

[catflowerqueen]

Her first act as ruler is to ban herself from Omashu’s transportation system, thus fulfilling one of her life goals.

[carolofthebell]

But then she ignores her ban and continues to use the transport system forcing her guard to chase her and print wanted posters declaring her a fugitive.

Fortunately the clerks served under King Bumi the First and are well aquatinted with explaining chaos to the confused citizenry of Omashu. Without missing a beat they print the posters in 2 parts.

The first (read this aloud) part is a fairly standard Wanted poster explaining that King Bumi II Toph the Blind Melon Bandit Lord is Banned from the Omashu Transport system for crimes etc….

The second part (do not read this aloud) explains not to be concerned; if you see the King at one of the stations just shout “There she is!” The guards will chase her and you are free to go about your day. The King thanks you for participating in this guard training drill.

[hedwig221b]

AQUAMARINE

sterek | E | 16k | ao3

Tags: Historical Fantasy, Supernaturals are Known, Alpha Derek, Protective Derek, Naiad Stiles, Protective Stiles, Stiles is a Tease, Hermaphrodite Stiles, Magical Stiles, Magical Realism, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Toddler Eli Hale, Hurt Eli Hale, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Resolved Sexual Tension, Werewolf Discrimination, Child Abuse (more about it in notes), Attempted Murder, Drowning, Top Derek Hale/Bottom Stiles Stilinski, POV Derek

Summary:

The nymph was the best prey Derek had ever had — evading him at every turn, yet teasing within reach. Here, in the middle of the lake, between crumbling ruins of the naiad’s temple, with Stiles pressed against him, Derek could taste the life again. He was as close to peace as it got. If only he could satisfy the heat in his lower parts, to turn his head and seal his lips against Stiles’ smile, to sink into him and make love, long and sweet, all night ‘till morning… If he could wake each day to Stiles lying next to him, maybe, then his soul would settle.

But now, even while breathing the same air, Derek did not have him at all.

Still, he kept coming. Fixing things, bringing things, pulling Stiles close until he stopped resisting. All creatures yearned for warmth, and Stiles, with his transparent clothes clinging to his slender, wet body was not an exception.

[vpnrt]

[bottcmstiles]

#derek fingering stiles on a sunday morning #it’s all lazy and soft until it turns dirty and urgent #and stiles is rutting against the bed #derek rubbing himself off against stiles’ leg #until they’re both sweaty and gasping and coming hard (via motleywolf)