[Image description: A five by three pride flag with five horizontal stripes of equal size. From top to bottom, the colors of the stripes are: purple, blue, white, orange, and red. End image description.]
Shapeshiftergender / Shapeshiftian
[Pronunciation for screen readers: Shape shifter gender, or, Shape shift ee in]
Coining date: February 3, 2022
Definition: A gender that is influenced by the concept of shape-shifters and shape-shifting, whether due to a personal connection to the concept or due to being a shape-shifter yourself.
Type of gender: Any type! I imagine that most beings that would identify with this term probably have fluid genders, but it’s not required to identify as this. Same thing with xenic genders. This identity can be used as a modifier or as a stand-alone label.
Inclusivity: Anyone can use this term! You don’t need to be xeno-gender or genderfluid or alter-human or non-human or whatever else. Please do not gate-keep this term, it was specifically designed to be as inclusive as possible.
Examples, flag color symbolism, and boundaries for using this flag and label are below the cut.
A (non-exhaustive) list of examples:
A trans man with a shape-shifting alter-human identity that has an impact on his gender.
A genderfluid person who feels connected to shape-shifting as a concept because of their genderfluidity.
A xenic person whose identity is best explained through the metaphor of shape-shifting.
A plural system member who is part of a species of shape-shifters or can change form in headspace.
Flag color meanings:
Purple—Connection to the fantastical, otherworldly, and unknown
Blue—Fluidity of form
White—Solidarity and inclusivity of identity
Orange-yellow—Freedom and joy
Red—Sense of adventure and defiance of norms
Boundaries for using this flag and label
What I am okay with you doing:
Using this label and flag regardless of our differences in opinion and belief
Making alternative flags, additional symbols, etc as long as you credit me for the term in some way
Creating more specific labels or flags that use this label as an umbrella term
Using my flag and label in writing, art, profile pictures, etc without credit. Just please direct others to this coining post if they ask about the official definition or the label’s origins
What I am NOT okay with you doing:
Attempting to redefine this label to exclude anybody, especially if you use my flag
Posting this label or flag in any archive without crediting me
Claiming that you were the original coiner or designer
What I would really prefer you didn’t do:
Redesigning the flag specifically because of a difference in position, opinion, or belief (e.g. “Here’s an alternative version of the shapeshiftian flag for people who don’t like that the coiner supports m-spec gays and lesbians”)
Obviously, I can’t actually stop you from doing these things. So consider this a polite request to please just respect my boundaries here.
can you do paws for faiaminnian (flag by imakeflags on the lgbta+ wiki), hurtcomfortropean (flag by orxngecrxsh), shapeshiftian (flag by amateuralterhuman), and zzzemojic (flag by mogai-timezzz)?
Faiminnian, Hurtcomfortropean, Shapeshiftian, and Zzzemojic paws for anon!
I have an emergency appointment with my surgeon tomorrow at 2:45pm. And my one irl friend, offered to take me to the appointment so I didn't have to rely on my abusers, or spend like $100 on the hour and a half uber ride.
I'm fucked, I'm fucked. I don't know what to do now
This is something that wasn't made with the intention of calling out on anyone in particular, especially because if I did so I would have to use the good memory that I don't have to mention everyone that I saw comparing the two. The other important thing to say is that I'm not against anyone using this analogy even if they aren't otherlinkers. This is just why I don't use that comparison for myself.
Before I start, I will let you know that I'm probably fully aware as to why one chooses to explain it that way and here are the reasons I could think of for that:
- With masks and linktypes, you just "put them on" during specific circumstances and you can take them off once you don't need them anymore.
- They're not something deep and core to who you are/your personality.
- While you have both on, you are them, but once you take it off, you are back to being who you are.
These were the reasons I could think of, but if anyone else noticed something I didn't and feels like giving more explanations, you are free to do so.
Now, here are my personal reasons for avoiding this and they're actually strongly related to all the points I've made so far:
There have been reported cases of linktypes becoming something that a otherlinker couldn't take off no matter what.
While the common solution to this problem usually comes in the form of telling the person that what they've got is very likely a kintype, it can dismiss their right to their own narrative and, at least before this whole discussion about whether one can become otherkin, spreads what I personally believe to be misinformation about what otherlinking is.
Probably since the word was coined, it was stablished that the difference between otherlinkers and otherkin wasn't how deep their identities go, but rather whether they chose to be who they are or not. The part of it being a core part of you or something superficial was never taken in consideration.
While I do not like accusing anyone of being malicious (and I strongly doubt people are doing so with bad intentions), whenever you say that one cannot be an otherlinker if they are unable to drop their identities even if they had decided to create them or if they become "too deep" feels a lot like "otherkin elitism". As if an otherlinker cannot be their linktypes on a deep level. While this isn't a must and many otherlinkers experience their identities on a more superficial level, it is my belief that one must have the autonomy to decide whether the origins of their identities was voluntary or involuntary.
Maybe I truly was sleeping when being otherkin became "identifies as nonhuman on a deep level regardless of whether it was voluntary or involuntary", but this is one of the main reasons I don't like how being an otherlinker is being compared to masks. It dismisses the possibility that an otherlinker can be as much of their linktype as an otherkin is as much of their kintype.
While I cannot think of a better analogy yet for having linktypes and some otherlinkers that have them do use the word masks for them, I believe this isn't something that reflects every otherlinker's experiences and I certainly don't feel comfortable using this word for myself.
At least in my case, this isn't truly a matter of this not fitting, it's mostly of a personal reason to not make me aware of the possible superficiality of my own linktypes or even that I can drop them at any moment. Thinking of this as just a mask instead of who I am can make the desired effects I want from being my linktype simply disappear and it can be problematic if I cannot think of any other non-harmful coping mechanism. (I'm talking about copinglinking, specifically.)
The second part is that, it depends a lot on the circumstances whether I can drop the linktype and not exactly on how much I want to do so. However, I can understand what you mean by that. An otherkin has to be their kintype whether it brings them more problems than they should have or not. I don't have to be stuck with it and I could leave them at some point. (Although I have witnessed some otherlinkers being told they might have had a kintype that was dropped just because it was a deep part of who they were and they couldn't voluntarily take them off for a while, which doesn't make much sense to me.)
This isn't something that I have seen being discussed directly, so I thought it'd be worth pointing this out to see where it could lead us to and I honestly want to know what your point of view is on this subject. I have only observed the conversations about related topics, but not one addressing this specifically.
The notes on this are SO good. I'd have to say my weirdest shifts have been
Hippo cameo shift. It lasted 2 whole days somehow??
Bison potbelly?? Somewhat common but it never stops being weird
A really strong bison M-shift, bordering on a B-shift. It has only happened once but it's the most disorienting thing I've experienced
Wyvern (wildshape from my gnoll life) that's really similar in anatomy and behavior to a goose
Lodestar (alien from my Ben life) who's magnetic all over and has a floating head. I don't even know how to describe what the magnetism feels like, but it's weird
During one of my Fire Emblem phases I somehow wound up in a combined Robin-Grima mental shift. Simultaneously being a mage with amnesia and a semi-ancient somewhat-evil dragon is weird.
More and more members of the alterhuman community are growing a view of radical acceptance that I actually find rather refreshing. I, myself, subscribe to the ontopunk ideology, which means that I believe there is no room for me to doubt or judge someone else’s identity and self expression. I am not in a position to grant a stamp of approval on the labels they choose to use for themselves, only help when asked. To admit that we conducted ourselves unfavorably when met with those who deviated from what we knew to be acceptable takes a lot of maturity, to expand our understanding of what it means to be otherkin when we were adamant about the experiences it covered shows a lot of growth.
Because of the room this progressive mindset has made for discussions regarding more subjective experiences, I’m slowly learning to feel confident that I am exactly where I belong. It wasn’t too long ago that the community was more focused on protecting the sanctity of our vocabulary than creating spaces for others to openly share their identities. Things as simple as the possibility of wording a post the wrong way was enough to keep community members from talking about something they felt was significant to them. It caused a lot of anxiety and, in my opinion, contributed a lot to the beings here refusing to admit their mistakes for fear of being pushed out of the community. I’m honestly really happy to see that we’ve opened the gates to allow for deeper conversations.
In the past, I’ve felt ashamed for having mistook my kintypes, needlessly apologizing for not being certain of my identity because there was this narrative that being a real otherkin meant to have a clear internal knowledge. I’ve felt insecure about many things I thought didn’t measure up to the others around me. But I’ve learned that alterhumanity is not a competition. It’s not about proving any sort of validation or wisdom to anyone else. It’s not even necessarily about comparing your experiences to others around you. It’s about the personal journey you make with your nonhumanity. I just wish we had all realized sooner that no one has a right to oppose another beings personal journey.
“No one has a right to oppose another beings personal journey” <- this aligns with what I believe quite a bit. I think radical acceptance has helped me as well, since there isn’t am much of a need to question yourself all the time. It gives beings the space to simply be, and I think that’s really important.
Has any alterhuman individual ever tried to worldbuilding with their noemata and exomemories their own world or version of the world? I would be interested in that and doing it.
Otherkind people sharing their world based on exomemories.
Otherhearted people figuring out their world of their hearttype.
Otherlinkers making their own version of the world for their linktype because they decided so.
I would be down for that.
Obviously this has some limitations because not everyone has noemata or exomemories of their entire 'types' lifes or something.
I do not have concrete memories from my links but I have 100% done worldbuilding for both of them. My first link is a complete original character and I’ve been letting their original life and world build up mostly-organically based on the personality they develop over time. The second link is an AU version of a canon character that gets next-to-no actual characterization and is never physically present in the story. That, on top of the fact that their source is one of my special interests/hyperfixations, means I’ve done a *lot* of worldbuilding for them.
Me: Labels aren't necessary and can be harmful
Also Me: Fluidflux, Trans, Nonbinary, Xenogender, Neuroqueer, Neurogender, Genderdoe, Genderfuck ADHDgender, Multigender, AroAceflux. Neopronoun user and alterhuman.
It’s…hard. Approaching alterhumanism from my personal perspective. My identity is, and will always be, fluid. Currently I identify as gendermars (an alternate name for genderfaun). The way I see it, I did not “discover” that I was gendermars. I was not always gendermars. I was not born gendermars. I wasn’t gendermars until I found that label and started using it for myself. Just like how when I was little, I was cis. Or how when I was 12, I was gender indifferent. I am not currently cis. I am not currently gender indifferent. Maybe I will be in the future, who knows what the future holds? My identity is constantly changing and it would be inaccurate to describe my past self with my current labels.
I know that isn’t the same for everyone. There are plenty of people that were always cis, or always trans, or always gendermars. This is just what works for me. I’m not trying to invalidate anyone else here. I know the way I perceive my identity is pretty different from other people.
As an otherkin & therian who believes I wasn’t always such because I gradually became one when I was around 10-12 years old, it’s okay & valid to be otherkin without always having been such. This isn’t to say you necessarily are otherkin, just that at the least you don’t have to discount the possibility just because you weren’t always one.
I appreciate the input! It can be hard to navigate the community and terminology at times, especially when there’s such a variety in perspectives and opinions.
Okay, hopefully this isn’t out of my lane as someone who’s not a ‘linker myself, but something that’s been annoying me for a long time and I’m seeing it more and more in the tags -
“Kin for fun” is not copinglinking/otherlinking either. Otherlinking is also serious and is also identify-as - it’s just voluntarily formed.
If what someone’s doing is roleplay, it’s not otherlinking.
If what they’re doing is comfort characters, it’s not otherlinking.
If what they’re doing is relating to a character without actually identifying as that character, it’s not otherlinking.
I know we’re all really, really tired of people misusing ‘kin language to mean those things, but that’s not an excuse to tell them to misuse someone else’s language instead - when we do that, we’re throwing ‘linkers under the bus in exactly the way we’re asking non-’kin not to do to us.
The only difference between ‘kin and 'linking is that one is involuntary and the other is consciously, voluntarily formed - they’re both serious, they’re both identify-as, and neither of them should be conflated with roleplay or relating to/projecting onto or comfort characters.
That being said - apparently there’s a term I wasn’t familiar with before someone told me about it while writing this post, funlink, which is in fact “choosing a nonhuman identity for fun” and may fit - I don’t know how popular the term is, but it exists if you want to use it. (That being said… it’s still identify-as. If you don’t identify as the thing, you probably don’t fit under that either, I would assume.)
In addition to that, otherheartedness/kith/synpaths are… generally more important and serious than people make them out to be when they’re giving KFF (kin-for-fun) people alternative words to use. The point of the ‘hearted, kith, and synpath labels are to say “this isn’t me, but it is important to my sense of self nonetheless”. Again, if it’s just something you’re doing for fun and can drop at any given moment with no consequences, it’s… probably not ‘heartdness/kith/synpath either. Those aren’t things that you do for fun.
And yes, I understand that there are cases in which these fit. Usually that’s when people are saying they’re “kin to cope” or “kinning” but not “kin for fun” - if the experiences someone is describing do fit the definitions of ‘linker or ‘hearted or whatever else, then please point them that direction! My point is not that it never applies and we should never suggest it - just that when we do, we need to clearly state that these are still identify-as (for ‘linking) and serious, genuinely important things (both), not treat them like they’re “for fun” and less important or real than otherkinity.
If the words that apply are roleplay, comfort characters, and relating to/projecting onto characters, and it goes no deeper than that and isn’t genuinely important to your sense of self, then those are the words that should be used. Not otherlinker/copinglinker if it’s not identify-as, not ‘hearted/kith/synpath if it’s not genuinely important to who you are. Don’t encourage people to misuse another group’s language because you want them to stop misusing ours.
EDITED: altered phrasing on the otherheartedness paragraph; someone pointed out the original phrasing kind of implied otherheartedness wasn’t usually as serious as ‘kin/’linking, which was the opposite of my intention.
I’m really glad someone said this. It’s been bothering me too. Especially because, as a community, otherlinking and copinglinking are very new compared to otherkin. ’Linkers are still trying to figure out where we fit in to the alterhuman community and what ‘linking really means to us. We’re figuring our own stuff out, we don’t need to deal with the KFFs.
Especially because a lot of KFFs think that the problem with otherkin is that it’s “too serious” or that “it’s crazy to identify as nonhuman” so pointing them towards us can give the impression that we’re somehow less serious or less connected to our ‘types. And that’s not true at all.
KFFs have been muddying the waters for what otherkin means and otherkin has been around for decades. No matter what the KFFs do, there’s still very well-established definitions, resources, guides, FAQ, etc. for otherkin. ‘Linkers don’t have most of that, as far as I know. If we do, I haven’t found any of them yet. We really don’t need KFFs muddying our waters too.
It’s...hard. Approaching alterhumanism from my personal perspective. My identity is, and will always be, fluid. Currently I identify as gendermars (an alternate name for genderfaun). The way I see it, I did not “discover” that I was gendermars. I was not always gendermars. I was not born gendermars. I wasn’t gendermars until I found that label and started using it for myself. Just like how when I was little, I was cis. Or how when I was 12, I was gender indifferent. I am not currently cis. I am not currently gender indifferent. Maybe I will be in the future, who knows what the future holds? My identity is constantly changing and it would be inaccurate to describe my past self with my current labels.
I know that isn’t the same for everyone. There are plenty of people that were always cis, or always trans, or always gendermars. This is just what works for me. I’m not trying to invalidate anyone else here. I know the way I perceive my identity is pretty different from other people.
Anyways. Back to alterhumanity.
The emphasis on permanence is…frustrating, to be honest. It’s completely foreign to me and the way I perceive myself. I did not discover my alterhumanity. I was not always an alterhuman. But…it wasn’t a choice either. This wasn’t voluntary. I did not decide I was alterhuman. I became alterhuman when humanity no longer fit. Like shedding an old skin.
I am not sure if I will always be alterhuman. Just like how I’m not sure if I will always be gendermars.
Part of me wants to call myself otherkin. It fits with my current experience. An involuntary identity of “other”ness. But…I didn’t always feel this way. Would it be right to call myself otherkin, if I wasn’t always such?
How do I navigate a space that is so focused on permanence, when my own identity is constantly shifting?
