There is this sort of paradox in unhealthy relationships where the victim will waver on if what their partner is doing to them does or does not rise to the level of abuse. I want to say that it does not matter if what your partner is doing to you fits the dictionary or legal or your personal definition of ‘abuse’. If you are in a relationship where it has gotten to the point that you’re wondering if you’re being abused or not, it’s time to start thinking of an exit strategy and putting it into motion. So many people stay in terrible relationships because ‘it’s not abusive’, so many people are waiting for their partner to do something egregious and undeniably abusive before they give themself the permission to leave, when that moment happens, when they hit you or break your phone or scream at you all night before a job interview, the goalpost for what is unacceptable will shift further and further away. Ultimately, it does not matter if your toxic partner is or is not abusive in this moment, if they are doing/saying things that make you feel worse about yourself, feel embarrassed about yourself, feel unsafe, feel smothered, feel dependent on them, feel stupid, etc., it is time to go. It doesn’t matter if you’re actually the problem repeatedly setting them off, stop weighing that, maybe they WOULD be happier with another partner, all the more reason to get the fuck away from them and focus on yourself instead. If your partner is making your life worse, go. If your partner is making your life sooooo much better but there are just these little moments where they make you hate yourself, go. Stop qualifying and looking for a justification to go, just leave knowing life is too short to have misery inflicted on you, whether it is abuse or not.
gummygunk
pixelskylines
origamiaround
