Landon's Legacy

A memoir of Landon James Barnes July 8 - 12 2014

[ameliakyoga]

Hey Calgary folks!! I'm super excited to announce that I'll be teaching at the Prana Yoga Festival @pranayogafest March 18 & 19. I'll be guiding a yoga/talk session each day on cultivating resiliency, courage and connection in the face of our great challenges, on and of the mat. I'll also be bringing along copies of my book #landonslegacythebook and selling #PranaVidaStyle !! I hope to meet some of you guys there - comment below if you are from Calgary or tag someone you know who might be interested! Early bird tickets on sale until Jan 15 🙌 >> @pranayogafest <<

[ameliakyoga]

I have a new blog on @oneoeight.tv 😊... (link in my bio). I'd love to hear your thoughts 💭 Does anyone else sometimes sit staring at their phone, searching for answers? Like, not Googling things but literally staring at the mess of apps littering the screen and feeling like the weight of a zillion things that should get done but not feeling like doing a single one of them? Feeling anxious and depressed. Burnt out. Confused. Lonely. Begin scrolling through Instagram. Photos and words you see… only to add to your list of “I wish …. ” “If only…” “I should…”. Open Facebook, which kindly reminds you of what you were doing 4 years ago. You long for that time in your life when things were pretty great (but of course you were too much of a perfectionist to actually realize this…). You long for that time before heartbreak and loss. When you were young and carefree and beautiful (but again – how frustrating! – you didn’t realize it then). You sit wishing you were the person you used to be. Or another person. Or the person you want to become one day. But you know deep within you never have felt wholly happy or fulfilled. Your mind incessantly creates problems for you, no matter how good things get. Today is no different. Tomorrow will probably be the same – always something wrong. Something missing. Nothing finished. Never enough. I read a quote the other day – Everything will be OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end… Will things ever, REALLY, be 100% OK? Probably not. But do they need to be? Probably not. Maybe the struggle is primarily the resistance the mind has to struggle. Might it be possible that THIS moment is a perfect moment? Can you trust that this simple act of BEING here is actually enough? That this cool thing we all do called breathing is worthy of joy and delight? Can you rejoice in all the magic in the world and within yourself, in this very moment? You are exactly as you are meant to be at this point in your life. And those who surround you in your life are exactly as they are meant to be, too… Flawed, just like you. Searching, just like you. Desiring happiness, just like you. Struggling, just like you. .... Continued @oneoeight.tv

[ameliakyoga]

Just stumbled on this photo of Lily, back when trying solids for the first time. 💕💕 #ohmyheart #lilyorysia #love

[ameliakyoga]

Top 9 of 2016... feeling immense amount of gratitude for my babies, my family and friends, and all of YOU!! It's been a year of many high highs and low lows, joy alongside grief. Thank you for being with me through it all ❤️ #lilyorysia #lovinglandonslily #landonslegacy

[ameliakyoga]

My lil yogi ❤️❤️❤️ #lilyorysia #mamaandminiyoga #oneOeight #oneOeighttribe

[ameliakyoga]

Truth. December has been a challenging month, that's for sure. The darkest days, literally, combined with cold weather and a helluva lot of snow making it nearly impossible to get out for our usual walk on many days. We've all been fighting a nasty cold that just won't seem to go away (and I haven't been sick in 8 years so I'm a big baby about it), and combined with Lily cutting some serious molars, sleep has been rather lacking. Then on top of it all there were a whole series of setbacks and delays with #PranaVidaStyle that created so much stress ... And then there was Christmas. There were definitely beautiful and joyful times with family and friends, but there's also a real sense of loss and grief that the holidays seems to hollow out deeper. It's hard to believe this was our third Christmas missing Landon. The sharp edge of grief does soften in time but there will always be a void, a missing piece - and it only seems emptier at this time of year. But now that I've written my woes, I can also choose to see them from a different perspective: the setbacks have been lessons learned, the sick days and housebound days have meant extra cuddles, the heartache is love and the emptiness is really actually fullness of feeling. The passing of the winter solstice means the darkest days are over and it only gets brighter from here. 🌅☀️☃️ (❤️ our hats knitted in wpg with love by our friends @hazelandivyknits ❤️❤️)

[ameliakyoga]

Lily has been growing up so much this past month. Copying the things we do, signing and learning new words every day, dancing to anything with a good beat... It blows my mind every day how quickly she picks things up. She's on the go all the time so the most yoga I get in at home when she's up are little bits like this -- but they are the best little bits. I think any day now she's going to start trying to crawl her legs up the wall too!! 🙌Want to to learn how to get on your hands?? Check out my intro to inversions video on @oneOeight.tv or many others if you like! And comment below for any ideas of new videos you'd like to see on @oneOeight.tv or here. Not a member? Register today, and receive your first 10 days free. From meditations for peace to yoga practices for all levels to nourishing healthy recipes for body and soul, find the world’s most heart centered community wherever you are. Your practice, your way. Please use the code “AMELIA” when signing up! 😄💕

[ameliakyoga]

Merry Christmas Eve!!! (trying so enthusiastically here to get Lily to smile 😆) #lilyorysia #lovinglandonslily

[ameliakyoga]

This little rainbow babe and his family could use all the love and prayers you might have to offer right now. As some of you may know, my friend @emmahansen and her husband @aaronvandenbrink brought Reid's little brother Everett into this world one week ago. Unfortunately, he's back in the hospital after he stopped breathing suddenly two days ago. I know the stress and anxiety are that comes with finally bringing a healthy baby home, and I can't even imagine the emotional roller coaster they are enduring right now. Please pray for a Christmas miracle for this family -- they are an amazing couple and deserve all the health and happiness in the world. 💕 #landonslegacymama #rainbowbaby

[ameliakyoga]

Looking for a way to stay centered, peaceful and connected this holiday season? Come practice with me at oneOeight.com ! @oneoeight.tv Start today, and receive your first 10 days free. From meditations for peace to yoga practices for all levels to nourishing healthy recipes for body and soul, find the world’s most heart centered community wherever you are. Your practice, your way. Please use the code “AMELIA” when signing up! 😊 #oneOeight #oneOeighttribe

[ameliakyoga]

I was seeing this beautiful breastfeeding #treeoflife images popping up everywhere, and was just about to make one myself in #picsart when @hollymichellephotography sent this one she made!! I love this shot, with Lily holding onto Landon bear. It couldn't have come at a better time, as the past few days I've had an extremely painful plugged duct (thankfully only the second in our breastfeeding journey so far). I often forget how far we've come. One year ago, I went through almost 6 weeks of excruciating pain trying to get her to latch on my left side (inverted nipple), and pumped almost half of her feeds until I healed and I was able to latch her, even though I know they say you should try to exclusively breastfeed in the beginning. But other than that rough start I've been very lucky that I've been able to keep breastfeeding this long without major problems. I know for many moms this is not as easy or possible and I try not to take it for granted. I remember those days of pumping and donating Landon's milk and desperately wanting more than anything to nurse something, anything. It was this primal urge, this instinctual longing, stronger than anything I've ever felt. Breastfeeding Lily hasn't filled that void but it has been healing and fulfilling in many ways I never imagined possible. I know no matter how I came to feed her I would have found peace (and I hope those who are unable to breastfeed don't feel badly), but I am incredibly grateful that this gift has been part our journey so far. #lilyorysia #lovinglandonslily #normalizebreastfeeding

[ameliakyoga]

Real talk --- I've been struggling lately with trying to keep my yoga practice. I think as a yoga teacher I put pressure on myself to be a 'real yogi' with a dedicated daily practice. I'll be honest - that really isn't happening. But I've been trying - trying! - at least do a little something each day and be OK with that - even if it's just a few minutes or stretch my back out with my yoga wheel (from @areedyogawheels 👍), or if I have a bit more motivation I do a video on @oneoeight.tv (tried acupressure with @goddess_rising last night - AMAZING and I had the best sleep after). I finally made it to a wonderful yoga practice with @robyn.e.b.thomas this morning (first full practice in over a month) and I was getting frustrated at how stiff and weak I am compared to how I used to be. Especially my lower body - even holding a lunge is gruelling. But even though my body still doesn't feel at all like it used to, but I'm getting used to the idea that maybe it never will, or at least for a long time, and that's OK. I carried and birthed two beautiful babies. The time will come again when I feel inclined to attempt handstand presses and fancy poses but for now my practice is patience. My practice is enjoying baby kisses and Lily's little squeals. I'm trying to trust those wise words of Pattabhi Jois -- Practice and all is coming --. I'm trying to follow my intuition and do the things that genuinely feel good and nourishing. ✨Yogi mamas out there - what are your experiences with finding your motivation and dedication to get on your mat?

[ameliakyoga]

Because I think we can all use a smile to brighten (warm?) the day . I just love this photo by a @theunsinkablejenn from Lily's first birthday (how is she almost 13 months?!?)... How are my fellow Winnipeggers / anyone where it's cold surviving this cold snap? We got spoiled with milder weather the past two years so this -30 everyday and more snow than I've seen in a long time is taking some getting used to. Long walks with Cody has always been a sanity-saver for us, but these days we'll go out for 10 minutes to walk Cody around the block (wearing Lily in my jacket) but then I'm worried her face is getting cold (she doesn't like me covering it) and I'm cold and Cody is cold and we all hustle back in. Not to mention it takes a solid 15 minutes just getting us all ready to go out! It is really beautiful though❄️☀️. Any ideas for surviving the next few months? ☃️😳❄️💨 #winterpeg #lilyorysia

[ameliakyoga]

Rudolf the red nosed reindeer ... or dancing flashing nipple? 😂#whatdoyoumeantheresnomilk #lilyorysia

[ameliakyoga]

Rudolf the red nosed reindeer ... or dancing flashing nipple? 😂 #lilyorysia #whatdoyoumeantheresnomilk ?!

[ameliakyoga]

This weekend I happened to run into three different women - at the post office, grocery store, yoga studio - who recognized me and told me they'd read my book, and how it had really impacted them and others they know. I often hear from so many readers on social media, email etc but it was so wonderful to actually see and speak to them in person. I'd been feeling discouraged by how hard it is to actually sell books as a self-published author, but this really reminded me how important it is to keep trying! I feel like somehow this was a sign from Landon too - like a special Happy Birthday, mama! ✨✨You can buy my book on Amazon (link in my profile - you can get the kindle edition too!), or Winnipeggers you can get it at @mcnallyrobinson or @mokshayogawpg . What a great gift to give too!! ☺️ 🎁 ✨✨ #landonslegacy #landonslegacythebook

[ameliakyoga]

#landonschickadees visited 💕❄️ (shoutout to @hazelandivyknits for keeping us warm on these frigid Winnipeg days!!! ☺️).. #landonslegacy