old friend

amy || she/her || chinglish native speaker. icon by @ultrainfinitepit.

[ameslore]

haven't been in my apartment in three weeks. just got home from the airport. midnight. standing in my kitchen buck naked eating cereal. ❤️

[tinytimism]

i love im on fire because he wrote that song with a gun pressed to his head in one hand his dick in the other and was moving the pen with telekinesis

[smoke-in-the-winds]

Actually, recent scholarship has cast doubt upon this. While it was once accepted that “the Beatles” were a single, coherent band, nowadays most historians agree they were more likely a loosely defined collection of musicians and writers with many internal disagreements between them. It was only in a much later period that the myth of a unified “Beatles” (perhaps in reference to the Egyptian solar deity Khepri, in reference to the hymn “Here Comes the Sun”) was invented through the syncretic efforts of writers associated with the Pauline, Johannine, and Georgian schools of thought. Ringo was later included in this cast as a familiar comedic figure, common in the folklore of the era. 

[ameslore]

⬆️ woman queening out with her gay boyfriend

[wolfer-aid]

bought grocery bags at the store along with my groceries and when i got to checkout i asked “can you tell i forgot all my bags?” just to make a little joke and the cashier went “you pulled a tammy!” and i was about to ask who the hell tammy is when i looked at her name tag and realized She was tammy.

[every-lemon]

so my spouse is part of a weirdly intense but mostly benign men’s workout group that meets at like, 5:30am outside every day, even in winter. they do a lot of burpees and lugging cinder blocks up hills and stuff.

they take turns leading the workouts and tomorrow is his turn. I asked what he was planning. he handed me a sheet of William Carlos William poems from a large stack he’d printed.

I said “what” and he explained, helpfully, “it’s a William Carlos William themed workout.” I asked what inspired it and he said “I’ve been planning this for months.”

[every-lemon]

it was a smash hit.

a dozen guys showed up (more than usual). spouse brought a red wheelbarrow and they took turns bringing cinder blocks up the hill with it. then they broke up in teams and did a relay with an "icebox" (cooler filled with 40lbs of ice). at the end he opened the cooler to reveal it was full of beach plum lacroix and all the guys cheered. they drank sparkling water as he read 'approach of winter' out loud.

he was home by 6:30am.

[scenetorrents]

i feel like no world events have been real at all since trump pt. 2 its like the seal is totally broken now and instagram can manifest physically as a location on the earth

[papayajuan2019]

lately when i've been going to bed i've been trying to imagine a darker shade of red than i did the night before

[torrel]

rothko sleep

[doggiewoggiez]

when you accidentally call your teacher 'mom' during sex

[parkchanwoohoo]

Hadestown is such a creative retelling/reimagining of an age-old story (Wasian couple where the white dude is pursuing his artistic dreams while the Asian girl is like "Okay but like. Rent is coming up and stuff so...")

[anythings-a-sweet-if-you-eat-it]

boring take from real 21st century idiots: bdsm is bad because it's basically torture

interesting take from a fictional 14th century monk: torture is bad because it's basically sex

[yuzupool]

white boy goes to Jupiter and shocks waiters by ordering in perfect Stupider

[theconcealedweapon]

Is killing someone justified if they caused enough harm? Then killing Brian Thompson was justified.

Is killing someone never justified under any circumstances? Then the death penalty is always wrong.

Either way, it's impossible to make a logical argument in favor of Brian Thompson's killer receiving the death penalty.

The only possible explanation is that the state and the ruling class get to decide who lives and who dies. It's about power, not morality or public safety.

[elexecution]

whitaker you may be an omega but you are going to have to intubate this alpha without going into heat. can you handle that?

[sentada]

[nouveau-riche-princess]

[thedankmemes]

[inbabylontheywept]

I am a 27 year old electrical engineer who works in a little secret lab in the middle of buttfuck Egypt. For one two month period, the office supply order changed from normal erasers to these, and I will not lie - every time I thought I was alone, I would sneak one out of my desk and eat it. They looked delicious. Tasted mid, but the appearance was so stunning that my brain just kept thinking, surely, the rest were a fluke, but THIS TIME it will taste like fruit and sugar.

Anyway, eventually the order stopped, and I was very worried that somehow, they’d found out that I was eating their erasers. So I kind of casually brought it up to my manager that I was sad that they swapped the erasers out, and he was like “yeah, but I kept eating them so they couldn’t stay.”

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]

sickens me to my stomach. how dare this guy get to live my dream.