I’m… Surviving

I’m Jax [they/them] Just a silly goofy guy

[thebat-musicman]

Jason: Honestly, Dick’s probably the least fucked up out of all of us

Dick: How am I the least fucked up?

Tim: How are you at all fucked up?

Dick: Bruce has been my best friend since I was eight

Everyone:

Jason: Yeah that would do it

[silvermistymoon]

I feel like the oneshot in Wayne Family Adventures with Lian and Roy was just Dick and Jason trying to profess their love to Roy and get him to choose them by showing their a better step parent to Lian

Since we got JayRoy in the third season I think Jason won

[shozawayo]

Cass, who sees a video online of a dad letting his daughter give him a makeover, gets instantly intrigued. She quickly goes down a rabbit hole and quietly takes notes. Bruce, who discovers what caught her attention, gently offers to sit down and do makeovers with her. While Cass didn't grow up having normal childhood experiences, that doesn't mean they can't make up for lost time now. It doesn't even matter that she's already an adult. He's more than happy to indulge her.

Hours later, photos of Bruce Wayne and his daughter Cassandra Cain-Wayne are uploaded to his official account. Each picture shows off his full face of makeup, his hair styled with clips, and his newly painted nails. They practically break the internet, and #girldadbrucewayne immediately takes off.

[brucedefender4eva]

Bruce makes secret hair appointments cause he’s going gray. It’s just one of the many cosmetic things he does on a regular basis.

At first, it was only for Jason. Jason missed out on a lot of years after being dead and always seemed to become distraught whenever Bruce showed any signs of having aged.

He understood. Suddenly coming back after being gone for so long, only to realize everything has changed, is a huge shock.

That’s fine. He can handle that.

But then, he noticed that the rest of his children would also have not-so-quiet mental breakdowns right in front of him if he showed any signs of aging.

Dick gets a quiet, faraway look in his eyes whenever Bruce reminisces about their time together, like it was a hundred years ago, before refusing to leave his side for a few hours. Then he would disappear when Bruce wasn’t looking, never for more than an hour, only to return shortly afterwards with puffy red eyes and a death grip on his hand

Jason would pretend he didn’t care, seeing the wrinkles on his face settle like they’ve been there since forever, before forcing Bruce to hug him, fixing his face away so no one could see it, and crying his eyes out right then and there, lamenting loudly on the fact that Bruce was apparently ready to drop dead at that very moment

Cassandra would get a sour look on her face when Bruce let out a soft groan as he got out of his seat, which was saying a lot, since she didn’t often show much emotion on her face. She would sit beside him, holding his hand in her own, her fingers pressed against his pulse. She would refuse to speak for hours, not even bothering to sign if it meant taking her hand away

Stephanie, despite not being his child in a legal sense, dropped her milkshake on the ground in shock when Bruce complained about something being too sweet when it was, in fact, not that sweet at all. She gently touched his face and shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes, “You’re so old.” She whispered before insisting on having a movie night with just him

Tim seemed as though he had a conniption when Bruce needed to put on his glasses after a few hours of staring at a screen. He goes on a long, rambling rant about how Bruce could stare at screens for days on end before collapsing into Bruce’s arms and cursing out the weakening lenses in his eyes. Then he made Bruce take a screen break for two whole days, while trying not to cry and failing

Duke’s hands shake when he realizes Bruce takes more naps than he used to. He stays by Bruce’s side when he naps, even as he complains in a shaky voice that if Bruce spends all his time sleeping, he won’t have any time to spend with him. Bruce then has to sleepily comfort a crying Duke before they finish the nap together

Damian throws himself into Bruce's arms, and Bruce has no struggle with it at all. But Damian’s eyes get watery when he thinks that one day, it’s possible that Bruce will never be able to hold him up ever again. Maybe he would have to be the one carrying an old Baba around. He makes Bruce carry him around everywhere on days when he can’t keep those thoughts out of his mind

Alfred had to stop and close his eyes for a second; he truly believed he was staring at Thomas before realizing it was just Bruce. And as Bruce continued to get older and older, he could no longer see Thomas, because Thomas never got to make it as far as Bruce did. Despite the fear gripping his heart as Bruce continued to age, he couldn’t help but be grateful that Bruce still could age, that being Batman hadn't taken him away far too young.

Bruce knows they all understand that despite their complaints and tears, nothing is going to stop him from aging. At times, they seemed awed that his stupid self-sacrificing moves haven’t already killed him, but Bruce can’t fault his children for being weepy. It’s cute, he'll never tell them that, just so they'll keep their dignity

So yeah, he’ll take the time to dye his gray hairs black, and he’ll use his most expensive wrinkle cream to smooth out his features. He’ll muffle his groans when sitting down or getting up, and he’ll wear his contact if he needs to do a lot of reading. And he’ll take shorter naps or skip every so often so he can hang out with his kids, and he’ll continue working out so he can lift all his kids when he needs to

On the plus side, the jokes about him being an old man have lessened

[three-semicolons]

I hate him so much

“oh yeah, check it out” like jfc

[three-semicolons]

Every Batfamily event plot is Character A telling Character B they “don’t have to do it alone” when they’re doing something self-destructive, followed by B telling A that they “don’t have to do it alone” one or two issues later because A, oblivious to how their previous speech to B applies to themselves, does the exact same thing.

There is one (1) lesson being passed around like a half-smoked joint at all times.

[three-semicolons]

At what point is this friendly fire

And ESPECIALLY when your single ass has been pulling shit like this. Like come on man. You’re practically pulling from the sacred texts.

[jasontoddscrowbars]

Jason returned to his apartment. He went to open it but found there was a new lock on the door. Pissed, he knocked loudly on it to see who the fuck had the balls to change his locks and try and squat on him.

The door clicked open.

Tim was standing there looking like a two year old trying on their dad’s clothes in Jason’s sweats and sweater.

Tim: yo.

Jason:

Jason: you think this is funny.

Tim: of course not.

Jason:

Tim:

Jason: get the fuck out of my apartment!

Tim: it’s mine.

Jason: I’m not doing this today Timothy!

Tim: I’m Jason.

Jason:

Jason took a deep calm breath. He understood this now. He unfortunately understood it all too well.

Jason: is this because Bruce called you my name again and you’re trying to prove some point?

Tim:

Tim: not at all Richard.

He slammed the door shut.

Jason:

Jason: dammit. I can’t even be mad at him.

Bonus

Jason, sighing, turned to leave. He jumped as he found Robin standing there drenched in rain carrying a serious pout.

Jason:

Jason: Tim?

Damian, spitting: Dick.

[thombalan]

[brucedefender4eva]

Bruce makes secret hair appointments cause he’s going gray. It’s just one of the many cosmetic things he does on a regular basis.

At first, it was only for Jason. Jason missed out on a lot of years after being dead and always seemed to become distraught whenever Bruce showed any signs of having aged.

He understood. Suddenly coming back after being gone for so long, only to realize everything has changed, is a huge shock.

That’s fine. He can handle that.

But then, he noticed that the rest of his children would also have not-so-quiet mental breakdowns right in front of him if he showed any signs of aging.

Dick gets a quiet, faraway look in his eyes whenever Bruce reminisces about their time together, like it was a hundred years ago, before refusing to leave his side for a few hours. Then he would disappear when Bruce wasn’t looking, never for more than an hour, only to return shortly afterwards with puffy red eyes and a death grip on his hand

Jason would pretend he didn’t care, seeing the wrinkles on his face settle like they’ve been there since forever, before forcing Bruce to hug him, fixing his face away so no one could see it, and crying his eyes out right then and there, lamenting loudly on the fact that Bruce was apparently ready to drop dead at that very moment

Cassandra would get a sour look on her face when Bruce let out a soft groan as he got out of his seat, which was saying a lot, since she didn’t often show much emotion on her face. She would sit beside him, holding his hand in her own, her fingers pressed against his pulse. She would refuse to speak for hours, not even bothering to sign if it meant taking her hand away

Stephanie, despite not being his child in a legal sense, dropped her milkshake on the ground in shock when Bruce complained about something being too sweet when it was, in fact, not that sweet at all. She gently touched his face and shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes, “You’re so old.” She whispered before insisting on having a movie night with just him

Tim seemed as though he had a conniption when Bruce needed to put on his glasses after a few hours of staring at a screen. He goes on a long, rambling rant about how Bruce could stare at screens for days on end before collapsing into Bruce’s arms and cursing out the weakening lenses in his eyes. Then he made Bruce take a screen break for two whole days, while trying not to cry and failing

Duke’s hands shake when he realizes Bruce takes more naps than he used to. He stays by Bruce’s side when he naps, even as he complains in a shaky voice that if Bruce spends all his time sleeping, he won’t have any time to spend with him. Bruce then has to sleepily comfort a crying Duke before they finish the nap together

Damian throws himself into Bruce's arms, and Bruce has no struggle with it at all. But Damian’s eyes get watery when he thinks that one day, it’s possible that Bruce will never be able to hold him up ever again. Maybe he would have to be the one carrying an old Baba around. He makes Bruce carry him around everywhere on days when he can’t keep those thoughts out of his mind

Alfred had to stop and close his eyes for a second; he truly believed he was staring at Thomas before realizing it was just Bruce. And as Bruce continued to get older and older, he could no longer see Thomas, because Thomas never got to make it as far as Bruce did. Despite the fear gripping his heart as Bruce continued to age, he couldn’t help but be grateful that Bruce still could age, that being Batman hadn't taken him away far too young.

Bruce knows they all understand that despite their complaints and tears, nothing is going to stop him from aging. At times, they seemed awed that his stupid self-sacrificing moves haven’t already killed him, but Bruce can’t fault his children for being weepy. It’s cute, he'll never tell them that, just so they'll keep their dignity

So yeah, he’ll take the time to dye his gray hairs black, and he’ll use his most expensive wrinkle cream to smooth out his features. He’ll muffle his groans when sitting down or getting up, and he’ll wear his contact if he needs to do a lot of reading. And he’ll take shorter naps or skip every so often so he can hang out with his kids, and he’ll continue working out so he can lift all his kids when he needs to

On the plus side, the jokes about him being an old man have lessened

[papayafromtv]

there should be a conversation between Jason and Damian after Bruce comes back from being lost in the time stream and Damian’s struggling to go back from being Dick Grayson’s Robin and pseudo son to Bruce’s kid again where Jason is just. not helping in the slightest.

Jason, sympathetic: it’s tough, isn’t it? to go back to Bruce after Dick almost adopts you. i get it, kid. i do.

Damian: …are you saying you’ve been through the same thing?

Jason: oh, yeah. i mean- i mean Bruce wasn’t presumed dead at the time, but Dick did try to adopt me a bunch back when i was Robin, so it’s almost the same.

Damian: i don’t understand. why was he trying to adopt you if Father was around?

Jason: …i dunno. i think i made him laugh once and he just made the decision to steal me after that. kept trying to sneak me to Bludhaven and hide me in his apartment. Bruce had to leave work early a bunch so he could drive up and drag me out by the hood of my sweatshirt.

Damian: *squinting*

Jason: yeah the constant changing was weird… it was like being a child of divorce where your parents are actively fighting over who gets to have you. flattering, sure, but tiring after a while. you have no idea how many times i had to buy a new toothbrush because i left mine in a different city.

Damian: …could you not just choose who to stay with for yourself?

Jason: well, i tried. i got mad at Bruce and chose Dick at one point, but Dick was like, twenty years old. i went up to Bludhaven and found him living in a one-bed apartment with a mattress on the floor instead of a bed and a bench dragged in from the street instead of a couch. he was eating noodles out of a ceramic vase. so when Bruce came to get me again, i just let him win.

Damian:

Damian, baffled: i fear you and i are not experiencing even remotely similar situations.

Jason:

Jason: yeah i dunno why i started talking.

*awkward silence*

Jason: …want a beer?

Damian:

Damian:

Damian: no?

Jason: oh.

[three-semicolons]

Dick is so short I cannot 😭😭😭. I always forget but he is so damn small for a male superhero.

Look at him.

Hydrogen bomb vs coughing acrobat 😭 😭 😭

[voidisverytired]

An animated Batman show I would love is with Duke Thomas as the main character. There's so much potential with him. Not only is he the only Metahuman on the team, he's also the only day hero.

I would love an animated show of him just doing the craziest shit during the day, and nobody in the Batfam really knows or understands how hard it is to have the day-shift, especially when you're the ONLY one.

Like one episode, Gotham gets dimensionally displaced or something and Duke has to solve it alone because NO ONE was answering comms. Or some magic user casts a spell that sends Gotham back to the fifties or something, and Duke is stuck solving it before Bruce finishes his bat-nap.

Duke stops a robbery and talks to Dick about it afterwards.

Duke: I stopped a bank robbery today.

Dick: Oh, I've done that before!

Duke: See, something we day-shifters and night-shifters have in common! Honestly, the only troubling thing was trying to keep all the hostages safe.

Dick:

Dick: What hostages?

Dick then finds out that banks aren't decoration. People do indeed go to them during the day! It's something he's never had to deal with before!

This is genuinely my number one wish for a Batman show. Just Signal going through the craziest hijinks while the rest of the family sleeps. Occasionally we get appearances from the rest of the Batfam, most notably Alfred (who probably never sleeps), and Damian, since he's still in school but does not help Duke with day stuff.

[carnicer01]

Dumb sketch for today (This is just a joke, please don't take this too seriously, I just wanted to make a joke on their sibling dynamic)

[reythemandalor]

if I were a more outrageous person I would write the Toto/max/kelly/susie swingers fic but I fear I’m not that bitch

[misslestappen]

F1 Admin knows what we want! ❤️💙

[tyrestrategist]